Ladies of ATS, your honest opinion please. Why am I single?

I'm not a lady but I'll give you my advice. If you have to change to be with someone, that someone is not worth it.

You should find or wait for someone that likes you for who you are. And that takes time because those girls are far in between. You'll never find those anywhere near the bad guys.

If it's just about sex then it's another matter entirely. But even for sex I have found out entirely that it's worth saving yourself for that good girl that is looking for the same thing as you, because if you do it with the bad girls you basically let yourself get raped and spit at.

Be wise.

reply to post by KwisatzHaderach


You are only 19 years old,give yourself some time first.
When the right girl comes along you will know.
While you are waiting...have some goals you want to achieve
in your life.Buy your boy toys before you get a wife and kids'.

Originally posted by mamabeth
reply to post by KwisatzHaderach

 

You are only 19 years old,give yourself some time first.
When the right girl comes along you will know.
While you are waiting...have some goals you want to achieve
in your life.Buy your boy toys before you get a wife and kids'.

This is good advice.

reply to post by mamabeth


Thank you, unfortunately the only real goal I have is to change the world. I have no use for baubles and shiny toys, all my money goes towards expanding my mind. I'm looking for a woman because I need a sounding board, a friend, and a lover.

reply to post by KwisatzHaderach

Well you sound like a pretty cool and desirable guy but to be honest the bi-sexuality thing does freak girls out. I dont know if you will like what im about to say but since you prefer girls, why not just be straight like know inside that you are bi but on the outside just have people think you are straight. I mean it seems like you are really only pursuing girls anyway. The problem isnt really just that you are bi-sexual but that guys cheat so often that girls are probably terrified that you will cheat on them with a guy which might make them feel like they arent women enough. I mean i KNOW that you can get a girl the way you are now but it would be a lot easier if you were straight as far as girls know. I mean honestly just dont talk about sexual orientation is it really necessary to share with these girls that you are bi? I mean are you still bi if you are dating heterosexually?

Girls cheat waaaaay more you are insane!

Yep

Whatever, if I met you I would have you in a day lol! That or your fat and ugly and cant get anyone else so you will take anything lol

hmm well I am not a lady either... but for what is it worth I reckon those members who have stated it is because your openly bisexual are correct.

What female wants to risk HIV or STDs with a Man who swings both ways? Thats like saying... "oh I am a junkie and I share needles and I can't find a chick to go on a date with"

who the hell would want to risk their own life dating such a risk?

and condoms don't protect a person completely... they can break or tear ewwww... genital herpes, clymidea, warts = cancer.... yuck who the hell would want to take that kind of risk???

Originally posted by yzfr6003
Ok, I joined ATS just now to help you and answer this the honest way. Women are f**ked in the head! I was for so many years the nice guy, the gentleman, the hero, the rock, the shoulder to cry on, the greatest guy that every love song was written about, I was and am in shape, play guitar, drums, boxing, MMA, write songs, poetry, work a full time job, family man, and NOTHING F**KING WORKED! Why? Nice Guy! If your nice and a good guy you are already f**ked. So, what did I do? Became pissed off and a jerk. Treat women like total sh*t, didnt open doors, f**kem if they are cold I kept my coat on, made them sit and watch me play video games, I picked everywhere we went, didnt reply to half of the text and most times didnt answer the phone, made them pay half or for everything, dated 6-10 girls at a time lmao, and just acted how they wanted me to be an a**hole! I have never been happier..dont have to do a damn thing and they love you.....many of them will love you! See my friend women all they want is attention...they are in short attention whores soooo....just ignore the hell out of them and they will do everything in their power to get your attention. Is stupid but, women no days arent the way they used to be. They have a I dont need a man attitude and every man should worship me...F**K THAT. They may complain about the a**hole they are with but, the are with him and not you. Go to a gym and workout and jerk off it works. Porn is a woman worst enemy lmao! Then when you get 10 girls in love with you crush the hell out of them and they will always be there even at 2am when you are just horny. This may have saved you from the years I spent wasting my life being a good guy.

Its the truth. Every woman will object to hearing it. but its true. The worse you treat them, the more of them and the better looking they are. Crushing ego...tops. Always insinuate that women dont have a clue how to please men properly and the lack of skills is pathetic. You will get anger action every time. They gotta prove.

leave the good guy stuff alone.

I am not a lady but I can almost guarantee that your self description is not even close.

Most people don't REALLY know themselves very well. (which is why they can't get to know anyone else)

And most people can't even be honest with themselves much less other people.

Sad but true, It's not your fault it's just part of being human.

reply to post by Shadowalker


Do you guys honestly want the kind of women who would go out with someone like you? I guess if you were doing it just for sex, but for a relationship?

True some girls go for those type of guys but it's because of one of two reasons.
One:
they are young and they believe they guy will change. They see these guys as "troubled" and hope to be the one that will change they guy for the better. You know the bad guy that is secretly a good guy underneath and they'll be the one to bring it out. It's a lie that Hollywood has perpetuated. Eventually they'll get older figure it out or end up becoming girl number two.
Two: they have low self esteem and and issue that will result in a lot of drama.

Older lady here with plenty of experience: Guys that call themselves 'nice' are usually lacking in some edgy qualities that can be very sexy. It's like trying to be attracted to a puppy or a stuffed animal, it's not going to happen. That's how you get labeled 'a friend'. By 'edgy' I don't mean mean or bad boy or misogynist, just that if you're fawning over a girl trying to get a girlfriend or get laid, it's a turnoff. If she's interested in you, she needs to feel like it's not a sure thing. Keep a little distance and mystery about your feelings, especially at first. Men are the same way, they may take advantage of a sure thing, but they won't hang around. There's no conquest to it, no tension.

I think I would also be turned off by the 'bi' aspect but your generation seems more okay with that. Make sure they understand a M to W relationship is what you're looking for, not playing the whole field if that's the case.

Like others have said, you're only 19; if you meet someone in the next 10 years, you'll be doing well. It's very, very hard to find someone you're truly compatible with. Work on your livelihood, your hobbies, and learning as much as possible about the world. It'll give you something to talk about and make you more interesting as a person. Get the hell off the computer (especially games), no real woman is going to be interested in a guy who spends a lot of time pushing buttons and staring at a computer screen. Cultivate the art of the biggest smile possible without feeling like you have to follow through on it immediately. Be real... be real.

Its over man...thx for the ride!!!

I am in a cynical mood today, ATS. The darker partygirl. So take what I have to say with a grain of salt. But basically, although kind of fun, threads like this are worthless. Because all we know is what the OP says he is. Like most humans, he's probably blissfully unaware of the qualities that are really making him unattractive, and his self-apprasal probably contains a lot of omissions (not calling the OP a liar, just when we talk about ourselves we tend to downplay the negatives, right? It may be even subconscious).

Also as pointed out already different girls like different things in guys so maybe its the girls you are going for? In fact I would say women have a much wider range of attractions than men. Men "only want one thing" they say, but women look at a lot of different factors in selecting a mate.

Anyway I just got out of a bad relationship so I am feeling cynical about relationships in general. If you are alone now maybe you are better off. Just kidding. I hope.

I have little experience with dating, but I have one hard and fast rule. I never go to a conspiracy site for advice on relationships.

It may not be an iron clad rule, but probably a good one.

whats wrong with being single?
its awesome, dont let society pressure you into finding a mate

You are 19 and wasting your energy plus cluttering your mind on things that can wait. Forget relationships at your age. People change A LOT during their 20s anyway. Use your drive and whatever money you have to better yourself, studies and career. Real love, the one that matters, will come on its own. Take it from a 33 year old that learned the hard way.

Overall, remember the words of Tony Montana:

"In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women."

reply to post by KwisatzHaderach


OK lets break this one down... I was a lot like you in school....just female...and not bi--but pansexual...my credentials are I left school and been blissfully married for almost 5 years, so mabey knowing that, you can trust my advice!

tips I have for You:

1) You can be true to yourself without revealing your sexuality upfront-- now I am not saying lie to women, but I can admit the first things that run through a women head when she hears that is bad, wether it be mental images of you and another dude doing naughty things or that thought she could get cheated on/left for a male, now that would be embarrassing! That's double the competition..she now has to be better than men and women to keep you! Also you have to remember the genral population still has a huge stigma against the gay/bi community, fears of AIDs or HIV are still strong today, wait until the 'i love you state's to let this cat out of the bag...

2) Nice guys are nice most of the time, biology a girl will always wanna [snip] the jerk? why does she Wanna be with the dirt bag? Think tribes and early human history, those Are the guys that survive, that challenge the tribal cheif. but wait there's hope You don't have to be a jerk all the time! just...lets say 10% of the time...even if you just say something shocking or being mildly deviant in bed (wips & chains) or play grab-ass do something to keep her on her toes, or give her a reason to come back for more!

3) you say you look but can you eat good....women like men who can eat! try it! Impress a girl (if she's on a diet or not) to go out and eat a cheese buger or some junk food! she will love the fact that she can indulge with a Guy!

4) Clothes don't really matter but mabey you can take up a hobby the laddies will like if your so worried, tie-dye or knit..its easy fun relax and will give you some flare, or a conversation starter ie. nice scarf 'thank you made it my self'

other than That use your confidence, women still like to have you make the first move (its a gender roll thing I guess) and be more open to different 'types' of women, you might be really happy with a tomboy, a chunky girl, a chef, ect.

good luck on your journey, go find you a lady!