Your Views On 'Smacking' children.

reply to post by mblahnikluver


I wish I could give you 2 stars!!!! Well said

reply to post by InfoKartel

No, because when they touch a stove they learn about the stove on their own. When you smack them they are only learning about you. How to not get you mad.

Because, if you pull a pan of boiling water off the stove onto your face, you don't get a second chance at it. It is unacceptable for them to learn about it on their own. Instead, when they reach for the stove, and I smack their hand, and it hurts, they get the same natural lesson without the disfigurement.

You mentioned electroshock therapy. If they have a butter knife and are trying to jam it into a light socket, they are probably too young to learn what electrocution is, and they have no concept of death. There really isn't a way to explain it to them, but if you smack their hand and make them sit in a corner for a minute, they learn the same lesson. They learn putting a butter knife in a socket equals pain and uncomfortableness for awhile.

What the hell does having a polite and well-mannered kid, that actually listens to his parents have to do with war?

My kid was reading before kindergarten, and he can get on the computer himself and find several websites with games he likes. They play outside, they have a pool, they were both swimming by age 4. They have a playground, and they like to fish, and they like to haul wood in the back of their little truck, and they love to help Daddy work in the yard. They get to ride on my Harley, in fact, My wife and I and both boys can all fit on the bike and ride around the neighborhood every once in awhile.

They are by no means neglected, or missing out on a childhood, they are just good kids, which you make out to sound like a crime? So it is somehow a bad thing to be a well-mannered, intelligent kid that actually respects their parents, teachers, and coaches? My how the times really have changed.

Originally posted by InfoKartel
reply to post by Hellas

 

Get real!!

You're telling me to get real?

Before you agree with what just anyone puts on the internet, read about Stockholm syndrome and feel stupid.

Oh I don't need to read about any syndrome and believe you me, you're in no position to tell me how to feel about anything kiddo.

You can run but you can't hide. Life will even get to you in your pretty room.

Like i said i got all the above and turned out very successful, respected and respectful. And the others just turned into sissies

My own personal opinion, if you need to resort to beating your children, you've already lost.

I am a single parent of a girl who I have never hit. For anyone that knows her, she has turned out great and things haven't been easy for her. I disciplined her because every child needs discipline but if you need to enforce discipline with pain, and this is my opinion only, you have failed as a parent.

My girl behaves everywhere we go, because hse has been taught that to misbehave has consequences. I have left a full cart of groceries in a store and walked out because she wouldn't behave or listen. I didn't spank her or beat her. I grounded her and removed anything from her room that was considered fun. All I ever left were books. I have got up out of restaurants and packed up our food for the same reasons. Same results. Now days, I don't have to deal with tantrums in stores or acting out in eateries. And I see a lot of it because I work in the food industry and have run some family restaurants.

My methods won't work for you and most likely yours won't work for me but I know one thing. Beating my kid won't work either. I don't care if you were spanked or beat as a kid and think it's the only form of punishment that works. Bull. There are many, many ways to teach your kids life lessons and discipline without resorting to violence. Your child can't defend themselves. Hitting them is wrong, imo.

Beating them is the lazy way of parenting. It takes creativity and patience to correct bad behaviour without resorting to physical beatings.

Originally posted by addygrace
Yeah, even putting your finger in a kids face should be illegal. Really yelling too loud should be illegal, you could scare them. Any form of punishment, should actually be outlawed. If kids don't know any better why should they be in trouble by another human that also makes mistakes. For example my oldest son punched my youngest son in the face, so I said, hey if you don't punch him anymore I'll give you money. He said, "Ok Dad." He stopped punching him all the way until the next day. Now, every time he punches him I just give em money and he stops.

Are you for real, your teaching your son about blackmail?? and you think that is good parenting, wow im amazed.So now your son thinks that if he goes round punching people he gets money to stop.......... do you see where this is leading?? you heard of bullying do you agree with it because that is what you are promoting , i was shocked by this responce. You totally think its not ok for people to give people money to stop them hitting you , but you are against even shouting or pointing at your child?
What is the world coming too , im so glad my kids dont go to school with yours!!!!


i hope this was a joke post btw

Originally posted by ALOSTSOUL
reply to post by greeneyedleo

 

Me an my brother for example; we had a good life (for a working class family) my parents were loving but we were really, really naughty (I mean really).

Did you ever play Frisbee with your Dads record collection indoors with the intention to smash them to bits against the walls, Elvis and all? I did...well, it was my brothers idea, I was an easily led child.

As some other posters have pointed out, it does depend on the child. My kids are grown now. Did I spank them? Yes, but it was an open-handed smack on the bottom, and the infraction had to be bad enough to warrant it.

When kids are really small, a smack doesn't do much, they can be controlled easily. Slightly older, but too young to reason with, a smack works wonders. It doesn't have to be hard, but it is the shock value that makes it effective.

An older child (7 and up) can be reasoned with by taking away something (TV time, dessert, playtime outside).

Both my girls were the type of kids who could have grown up to be vicious little tyrants if I had let them get away with stuff they did. They were willful and hot-headed, and their fights were worthy of WWF smackdown sessions. I never backed down, always left the bottom-smacking for the last resort, and always showed them that life has consequences for their actions.

The older one is now an officer in the Coast Guard who graduated magna cum laude from college. The younger one is a dental assistant (she's only 19 and has been doing it for a year). They both grew up to be kind, caring people who understand personal responsibility and how their choices affect their lives.

I did not spare the rod, but I did use it sparingly. It depends on the psychology of the child. Spanking can be used judiciously.

As a child I was whipped with an electric cord until I bled. Times sure have changed, haven't they?

I'm glad it is not against the law here. I do have to smack my son every now and again but nothing to excessive. I think there is a point between normal parenting and excessive. I'm amazed that anyone has a right to tell you how to be a parent. (Unless there is signs of excessive abuse)

On a side note I remember the days when I had to go pick my own switch from the mesquite tree outside and if it wasn't up to the task I got double the licks with what switch my parents chose. (I am not that excessive btw) I've never resented my parents either or felt abused. A good whack is what some of these kids these days need.

I must admit I am getting some great advice from this thread.

ALS

reply to post by LightSpeedDriver


Haha, that's nasty. You got electrocuted. I'm not that cruel and my five year old went through the stage of touching things to find out what they do when he was 2-3. I wouldn't let my child electrocute themselves because they can die from it but letting them touch a hot oven to learn about heat and burns is a necessity if they don't heed the verbal warning first.

The problem is at that age (2-3) you can't say to them "Remember the time I told you the oven was hot and you refused to listen to me....well this is one of those moments"...but I can say it to my 5 and 8 year old.

Trust me, I only physically smack if I've utilised all non-physical forms of punishment and I am at the point of refusing to give my misbehaving child any more of my time. They'll get a smack. Then loud, angry words (as few words as possible but to the point). Then moved to an area where they can reflect on their actions, and the stinging on their leg (which in turn makes heeding the first two warnings far more important in the future), without disrupting the playing environment of my other children.

reply to post by InfoKartel


Well my best friend is a few years behind me, but this weekend he learned the hard way walking away with a fat lip. tell you what though, I can guarantee that he will not do what he did to me again. Stole $1000.00 and continued to lie about it, with so much proof in his face. UNACCEPTABLE!

I will absolutely belt my child if he acts out, not enough to convict me in court with a bruise as evidence, but what I do in my house, ITS MY RULES! don't like it fellow people put a gov't official in my home 24/7.

Just my thought, and to support my thought process, I was a spoiled lil crap when I grew up without enough discipline from my father, he would spank me with his leather belt(mind you it seemed the size of a baseball bat at the time) , but would hug me afterward explaining all in why he did it. I praise him for that. the problem to me is most fathers do not, they just do with no explaination..

Good day

Originally posted by LightSpeedDriver

Originally posted by ALOSTSOUL
reply to post by greeneyedleo

 

Me an my brother for example; we had a good life (for a working class family) my parents were loving but we were really, really naughty (I mean really).

Did you ever play Frisbee with your Dads record collection indoors with the intention to smash them to bits against the walls, Elvis and all?

I did...well, it was my brothers idea, I was an easily led child.

Not with record but we did his fishing gear. Once we even threw all mymothers underwear out of the window.

Haha we laugh about it now.

ALS

reply to post by getreadyalready

Because, if you pull a pan of boiling water off the stove onto your face, you don't get a second chance at it.

It's funny you say that because I'm one of those kids that did that. Guess why I did it? Because my brain was/is inquisitive.

It is unacceptable for them to learn about it on their own. Instead, when they reach for the stove, and I smack their hand, and it hurts, they get the same natural lesson without the disfigurement.

A short yet powerful sound pretty much has the same effect. Beats beating.

You mentioned electroshock therapy. If they have a butter knife and are trying to jam it into a light socket, they are probably too young to learn what electrocution is, and they have no concept of death.

I also did that but instead I put a screw into the socket. Result: child protection power sockets. No beating needed.

There really isn't a way to explain it to them, but if you smack their hand and make them sit in a corner for a minute, they learn the same lesson. They learn putting a butter knife in a socket equals pain and uncomfortableness for awhile.

Same with the short but powerful sound. You do know they react a specific way to your voice because you are their father(figure), right?

What the hell does having a polite and well-mannered kid, that actually listens to his parents have to do with war?

Because I see kids who are ahead of their age all the time and not a single one of them has a peaceful home situation. They HAVE to grow up, because otherwise they keep getting beaten, cussed at etc. etc. while they have by their nature, kind hearts.

My kid was reading before kindergarten...

That's great!

They are by no means neglected, or missing out on a childhood, they are just good kids, which you make out to sound like a crime? So it is somehow a bad thing to be a well-mannered, intelligent kid that actually respects their parents, teachers, and coaches? My how the times really have changed.

Well, it doesn't sound like your kids are old yet (or bad off). PS. No I did not make it sound like a crime because what you have stated does not constitute smacking a child or abuse but physical corrective measures, which I have an issue with because: Where are the borders drawn? And can every person keep to those borders once they start physically correcting their children?

So if it's working for you now, good for you now.

reply to post by ALOSTSOUL


like mine? Its works as long as you are responsible to give a explaination why and the punishment fits the crime

(i.e., lying, stealing, manipulation, unlawful(in your own home rather than calling cops on your children)) we as men can do it on our on without the law and govts advice or take on the issue, my house, my rules young man.


Also, in nature do you not see punishment by parents on their young, I know were human and they are animals, but a lot of human act like animals, visa-versa, and such.....

reply to post by mblahnikluver


There are worst things that a parent can do to his children, psychological torture is worst and has a longer lasting effect than a simple direct smack.

In general if love exists and is acknowledged a child will not be negatively affected by the small chastising act of a simple smack, but there are limits on situation, degree of pain that is created and age. At a tender age interacting intellectually with a children is extremely difficult a simple smack especially if not intended to cause any pain but to demonstrate and create a sense of aversion to the infringement should be acceptable (note that over indulgence will erode the sense of trust the child may have in the parent). At later ages violence, or the simulation of it , becomes unnecessary and if used in front of others outside of the direct family will affect negatively the sense of self in the social relations.

In any case in most situations there are better tools to use for education, love and positive reinforcement will trump most other methods and I think most people will tend to use them unless they are themselves indoctrinated in the practice and use it as a quick solution to every type problem.

reply to post by InfoKartel


Why are you so against it?

Do you have children?

ALS

reply to post by mblahnikluver


And how many children do you have?

reply to post by AK907ICECOLD

I can guarantee that he will not do what he did to me again. Stole $1000.00 and continued to lie about it, with so much proof in his face. UNACCEPTABLE!

So you punched your best friend in the face for money.

He lied to you about it and you did not know how else to handle a liar than to beat him, like you were beat when you lied, correct?

Just my thought, and to support my thought process, I was a spoiled lil crap when I grew up without enough discipline from my father

Obviously, otherwise you don't go around punching people you call "best friend" in the mouth for money. What kind of principles and values do you want to teach your kids, I don't wonder.

It's unbelievable how much you guys are trying to talk these things right. A crooked banana is a crooked banana.

Can you imagine if the law was that cops could smack people for disobeying them and the law.....after all criminals need to learn a lesson and some wont learn it w/ just a talking to or alternative means!

Oh that is right...many people claim cops beat civilians all the time.......and are up in arms about it! I see thread after thread about it....

Yet a child.....it is ok to inflict pain on them....in order to punish them.

Makes no sense to me.

cops "smacking" (insert your chosen word here) law breakers = bad
parents (insert your chosen word here) children = good

^^ both situations a human is needing to learn a lesson.....yet one is ok and the other is not

ok then....

reply to post by greeneyedleo


We're not talking about smacking a stranger...