Awww buddy I feel for ya!!
Your post did make me think of this email & LoL!!......
DIARY OF A POM IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA
August 31 - Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK
to our new home in Karratha, Western Australia ...
Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.
I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool
yesterday.
It was beautiful. I've finally found my new home. I love it
here.
September 13 - Really heating up now. It got to 31 today.
No problem
though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving
air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm
turning into a
sun-worshipper - no blasted rain like back in Leeds!!
September 30 - Had the back yard landscaped with tropical
plants
today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for
me! Another
scorcher today, but I love it here. It's Paradise!
October 10 - The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week.
How do
people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's
windy though.
Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatizing is taking longer
than we expected.
October 15 - Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third
degree burns
over 60% of my body. Missed three days off work. What a
dumb thing
to do. Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!
October 20 - Didn't notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into
the car before I
left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the
car after work,
Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag
and stuck
to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and
cat sh*t. I've
learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.
October 25 - This wind is a bast**d. It feels like a giant
blow
dryer. And it's hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on
the blink
and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell
me he needs
to order parts from f**king Perth ......The wife & the kids
are complaining.
October 30 - The temperature's up around 40 and the parts
still haven't
arrived for the f**king air conditioner. House is an oven
so we've all been
sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody
$600,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why the hell did I ever come
here?
November 4 - Finally got the f**king air-conditioner fixed.
It cost $1,500 and
gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the
humidity makes it
feel about 35. Stupid repairman. F**king thief.
November 8 - If one more smart bast**d says 'Hot enough for
you today?' I'm
going to f**king throttle him. F**king heat! By the time I
get to work, the car
radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet and I
smell like baked cat.
November 9 - Tried to run some errands after work, wore
shorts, and sat on the
black leather upholstery in my car. I thought my f**king
arse was on fire. I lost 2
layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and
off my f**king arse. Now
the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat.
F**k. F**k. F**k.
November 10 -- The Weather report might as well be a
f**king recording.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and f**king sunny. It
never f**king changes!
It's been too hot to do anything for 2 f**king months and
the weatherman says it
might really warm up next week. F**k!
November 15 - Doesn't it ever rain in this damn f**king
place? Water restrictions
will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up
and blow into the f**king
pool. The only things that thrive in this f**king hell-hole
are the f**king flies. You don't
dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of
the little bast**ds!
November 20 - Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 f**kin' degrees
today. Now the air
conditioner's gone in my car. The repair man came to fix it
and said, 'Hot enough for
you today?' I wanted to shove the f**king car up his
f**king arse. Anyway, had to spend
the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for
assaulting the stupid pr**k.
F**king Karratha! What kind of sick, demented f**king idiot
would want to live here!
December 1 - WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!! You are
f**king kidding me!