Spiritual Journey - Lost Grip on Reality, Life in Shambles

kind of pissed me off dude, it's like you can't choose or feel for yourself, your expecting the right way to be spoonfed like it has been up until that point. it doesn't matter what anyone else is saying, including myself, the right path isn't ascension or christ, or being a good person only for karma, none of that matters in a short physical life, those ideas are based on an endless spiritual life which is all based on a faith no one really knows is true or not.

just be happy in the moment, understand that life, human life, the kind where we think and feel is rare and it doesn't last forever. the people around us shouldn't determine what you think or feel, only you, and if you feel you're lost, maybe you need to ask yourself why, and what can you do about it? with a mans attitude.
the whole suicide thing is just pathetic, and I don't pity you. i'm still here, anyone still living has their problems...
we got over them and realized it wasnt the end of the world.
yeah I was born into something I couldn't control, yeah it wasn't perfect, but seriously, it could be a lot worse.
it's not, so quit being so dramatic and do something about it.

I can sympathize with where you're at. I had my awakening a few months before you so I have been there my friend. This is what came to me in meditation.

The answer to all your questions is: "It doesn't matter." Desire causes suffering and comes from the ego. Let go of trying to find answers to questions that no one knows and no one can know. Just Be You.

Namste

Pointblank: this "ascending" and "enlightenment" stuff is really just like anything else spiritually. It's supposed to augment your life, not become your life.

I've had a bunch of bad fortune since I started getting into all this stuff, too. But it's more due to outside factors that have nothing to do with it, so my question is whether it's actually contributed to your misfortune or if you're making associations that just don't exist.

Can't tell you how many people I've heard of who walk away from spirituality when stuff blows up. They think it's some magic buffer against reality. Look, the Atheists are probably right on this one: spirituality is mostly a crutch to help us get through the day. There are some answers to the big questions, there is some guidance for the little ones, but it's not going to save you from the pitfalls of existence, it's not the end-all-be-all, and it's not going to save your tail if you let your feet get too far off the ground.

The Eastern religions believe in balance from what I can tell, some even seem downright obsessed with it, and that's the best advice that I can give you. You've got to balance yourself between the material and the spiritual.

Originally posted by OhNoItsCritical

This is good advice, actually. I feel like I could do anything, but I'm letting fear stop me. I guess if and when the time is right I'll know exactly what I want to do and where I want to go.

so you didnt get my point, u r still focusing on doing what you would enjoy, the point is to do whatever u can, just a real sense of being objective, so do anything that u can always realize smthg that never involve any sense of fear that u know, force urself to be more present in stupid things that usually u look at as nothing

My friend, in no way, shape, or form, give up on your journey. You are in the valley. The great news is, when you're in the valley, the only way out is up. You are in for some epiphanies. I have been there, as others have, and you will come out of this stronger than ever!

Remember that what you fear is the shortest path to it. Believe in yourself. And tell yourself so.

The impossible becomes possible, and even inevitable, by choice. Choose your path, and stick to it. Make a decision.

What we experience today is the result of what we created yesterday. Create what you want, not what you don't want.

Come back to this thread when those epiphanies start coming, and share them with us. I will be checking this thread occasionally waiting for that moment.

ETA: I frequently hear how bad things get when people start on a journey of this type. The spiritual journey brings a lot of internal garbage to the surface of our lives. Stuff we ignore or repress. This is so you can deal with it. You must stop being your own worst enemy, and become your own best friend. And you can't do that without dealing with those areas of your life where self loathing and unforgiveness rule in your heart(subconscious). Recognize those areas, and forgive yourself and others genuinely, and the self loathing and self sabotage will be left powerless.

reply to post by OhNoItsCritical


My very good man i was indeed in your situation , oh about some year ago or more, as i was reading your op i could not help but to think how much my life was on the same path. So long story short. Research read, and it to shall. Pass. In my case i found god and life through islam best of luck to you old boy. You will get their if you want it bad enough

Everyone is on this journey, its what makes us human. Most are just indoctrinated at a younger age and follow that, but the rest look past what they've been told and search everywhere to understand who we are and where we come from and where we may go. Everyones in it together, and most are too afraid to let go of the comfort that comes with popular opinion, so kudos for finding the path less travelled. You have no desire to make friends, why? We all play a clever game of desperately hiding our confusion, but can we trust each other enough to be honest about it? Hopefully we find those that can.

From my experience, the easiest way to lose grip of the world around you is to take what you experience personal. Whether if its synchronicity, coincidence, or destiny or whatever you want to call it, what you experience only has as much meaning as you give it. You control that. Things do not happen to you, things just happen, and in retrospect you decide their significance.

If it helps, acknowledge how you feel in terms of constantly changing phases, and that there is no permanent state of misunderstanding.

Sorry to hear about your situation. It seems like times are tough for you at the moment, but don't feel alone because many of us around the world are feeling the pressure as well. Life seems like a series of insurmountable challenges where we are continually questioning our existence and purpose for being here. Remember not to be too hard on yourself. Ending a long-term relationship is not easy and it will take time to heal. But you will get through this and come out a stronger and wiser person having had the experience. Use this time to self-reflect and discover what your drive and passion in life happens to be.

reply to post by OhNoItsCritical


everything you said im basically going through also after everything ive researched and such i didnt think someone else would be having the same problem i am like everything you said basically i have been going through too and i hope to figure what i can do to also get out of this feeling of being stuck not knowing where im supposed to be going in direction

Originally posted by OhNoItsCritical
I've begun a spiritual journey mid-2011 and ever since then my life has been in complete shambles. My ex-girlfriend and I have broken up after 2.5 years, I've lost all of my desire to socialize and make friends, and quite frankly I've been contemplating suicide (Save it, this isn't a pity thread) more and more as time goes on.

I'm confused about what to believe about life and reality. I read that we create our reality, I read that life is an illusion, I read that I/we am/are god and can do whatever the hell we want, I read that there are higher forces guiding us, and so many different things. It's incredibly frustrating and I just want to go back to being happy again. What's standing in the way? My life contemplation. The fact that I'm still massively in love with my ex-girlfriend whom I live with and is seeing somebody else, the fact that I have no job or passion, no friends, no desire to make friends.. basically - everything is in shambles.

I read all of this about "Ascension", but what if that's just a crock of crap? Everybody has different beliefs about everything and nothing is ever certain. Am I "Ascending"? If so, why the hell does it have to suck so bad if it's supposed to be so good?

"Hey, you're ascending. Time to lose the woman you love, your job/career, all of your friends and desire to socialize, and you're going to be miserable for a year and counting! Oh yeah, we're also going to add the stress of you wanting to kill yourself on a daily basis, but you won't do it. Enjoy ascension!"

Seriously, I'm confused, and quite frankly just fed up with everything. I tried getting into numerology for a while and that gave me an incredible amount of hope, but then I started wondering if my life was being guided by something higher or if it's just my own belief in numerology thats manifesting into my life. Just when I decide on one belief system, all of this comes back around and stresses me out.

I've been having a lot of synchronicity lately, and certain things I can't tell whether I've manifested or if I'm just having psychic experiences (Such as me wanting to get a knife pulled on me, then weeks later it happening which I explained at another thread I made: www.abovetopsecret.com... )

I'm not here to try to make anybody feel bad for me, I'm here because I'm hoping that somebody who is on this road or has been on this road can help me pull it together.

edit on 22-1-2012 by OhNoItsCritical because: Clarification and title fix.

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reply to post by OhNoItsCritical


You are on a dangerous path my friend. I have felt like you do for 7 years.
Not knowing wether or not life is worth living. You see everyone doing the same cycle, over and over. Get an education, get a job, work, start a family, raise said family, die. There must be more out there right? You have to be special in some way?

Time to face the truth, both you and me. Spiritual journey, cut the crap. I am unemployed, 23 years old, living with parents, because I have been waiting for life to come to me. I am not special, you are not special. Starchild? Ascending? Part of God? Forget all that, It is not good for anything. Why? Because we will never know untill we finally die.

So stop it my friend. Join society again and do not end up like me. Do not wait around for the answers to come to you, they wont. Meditate and "open your third eye", no, it wont do you any good. What you need to do is to go out, start your life, just like everyone else does. Make money, spend money, die. Believe me, the other road is not at all funny or even satisfying.

I can understand where you are coming from. I would suggest the following material. If it doesn't resonate with you, just ignore it and my suggestion

What I am referring you to is called The Law of One. It is channeled material that gives some insight on everything from philosophy to physics. I found it to be very inspiring for myself and answered many of the hard questions that had caused deep reservations in me about spirituality. I would be willing to share my understanding a bit too if you have any questions about it.

Regardless of veracity, I found this to be a very good read. It was channeled in the early 1980s yet speaks of many advanced physics and astrology concepts that we had yet to discover. Being 30 years in the future, we know that much of the physics theory is absolutely spot on, meaning whoever is the true mind behind this knows their stuff!

Anyways, enough plugging of it, I hope you find your peace. This world/density is a tough one, if not the toughest, that we have to face. That being said, what faces all of us is a decision. The "point of life" at this stage in our journey is to decide who we want to be moving forward. We have an unlimited amount of time and lifetimes to make this decision, but are you gonna exist in service to self or in service to others? Until you can answer that question, you are bound to repeat everything you are running away from.

Enjoy if you choose to. Peace!

Law of One - Session 1

I went through the same thing over a decade ago. Lost my girl of 7 years and was madly in love, no one would hire me, and I wasn't me anymore, hit rock bottom and screamed out to God.

WHile going down the Christian mystic route, what I find now, since you began this journey, (all religions and labels aside) is that a person will eventually end up beyond good and bad and beyond the personality. You have entered the Dark Night of the Soul. Its purpose is a cleansing of all things, personality, likes/dislikes, and subconscious. It will require you to accept to just be, completely beyond everything, and to just accept what is.

The depression and suicide part is simply the stupid puny mind (which isn't even you in the 1st place) doesn't want to accept this and so is crying about it. The thing is that with wanting happy fluffy fru fru clouds and skittle rain drops all the time, means that anything deemed good and happy also has an end to it. Entering the spiritual means that by default you will automatically come to a place where you transcend all things good and bad and you will eventually transcend yourself, however you are not there yet obviously as your original post proves.

Instead of wasting time on sacred geometry ...... (really so what if you know all about it!!! What does it prove or give you in the long run) .....now that you know about, move to higher knowledge such as Nonduality and Advaita Vedanta. Start reading books by Anadi (Aziz Kristoff), Nisargadatta, Sailor Bob Adamson, John Greven.

You are not the mind..... you are that which is aware of and beyond the mind. This whole post you left us with here is all completely from the perspective of a mind who is trying to make sense of whats going on. However if you can realize that you are not the mind but that which is aware of it then you can rest In that and Be that for that is the Real you prior to all other things and all unnecessary reactions.

Once you come to this realization that there is no you, than you will eventually reach an equalization where all things calm down and the flow of life is realized and understood and it seen how to reach Union with God from there, for remaining as Awareness makes clear the path to the source of Awareness.

That chick wasn't meant to be. For if it was so then it would still be. Your call to the spiritual life came from a part of you that is deeper and more profound than the part of you that wanted to be with this chick. So stop living in denial and accept all of this and everything will work out. Your just going through spiritual pre-teen puberty right now and your all freaking out about it. I was there too once and considered suicide as well.... but if I knew then what I know now, I would have bypassed much wasted time and wasted studies.

Read all thing related to Advaita and Union w/ God. Also go on youtube and watch the 5 part series entitled "How to Access Super Consciousness". It is basically the spiritual path up to Union w/ God and all the stages that one goes through on the way there. It should be mandatory viewing for all on the path

Hey there
If I could give you some advice, read an inspirational books and quotes (Mahatma Gandhi) , get outdoors and enjoy life. Push your limits and feel what it feels like to "Really" live.

Go fishing, hiking, race motorbikes etc. The more you sit in front of your computer searching for answers that you will never find the more you drown yourself with "scary" thoughts of unreality.

Also go do some exercise and go slow on the coffee

reply to post by tagasbob


That is a very good read. I have just read something this morning that reminded me of the Law of One material.

It is a compiled transcript between an Illuminati Dude & ATS members
www.illuminati-news.com...

Really really worth reading.

Originally posted by dominicus
spiritual pre-teen puberty right now and your all freaking out about it.

reply to post by OhNoItsCritical


If you cant find a reason to live.. ill give you one.

I love you. I want you to continue to grow and if you choose to live forever then we will never be apart.

Other posters have already mentioned the 'dark night of the soul'...

The process (without being trite) requires that the 'cup' be emptied, before it can then be filled. The dark night of the soul, whether forced or necessary at some points, requires the emptiness to allow fading echoes to dissipate, before the cup is refilled, and the roar of fullness to resound.

Chin up friend
You decided to make a new pathway...walk it...

Akushla

reply to post by OhNoItsCritical


well my friend i am at that exact point in my life right now.have been for 2 years (lost my girl of 8 years and 3 kids,lost my job,my apt,my friends,etc, oh and i think about suicide every day, even stole a gun to see if i could do it, ended up on the news lol still here) my point is what did you really loose? ur soul,ur morals,respect for human life, it took society how many years to reeducate you from birth? to undo in your mind all you see wrong and coordinate the pieces to fit better is a long process, and to create a life that you want and enjoy means dump out the trash, everything you know.( erase everyone off the planet erase all knowledge and ideas including religion and plant yourself anywhere on earth, then ask yourself what is it that you want) to start over means to think for yourself, but limit what you know until you have a firm grasp of and understanding of what it is you want. your brain has created chaos based on inconsistencies of what you were told and what you have figured out. tptb play off this, they hope to confuse you, but with patience comes order out of chaos. nothing physical can feed the soul. once you get whats happening its like you have just been thrown behind the wheel of your own car YOU my friend are now in control of everything you do, patience is key.