Why Can't Ladies be ready on time?

This is in response to mamabeth's RANT about men --> HERE and is meant in a tongue in cheek manner. So, relax and have fun.



OK...

We guys are told we are going out for dinner. Why nothing is cooked when we get home from work is never really explained. [Some of us suspect it has something to do with Oprah & TV] So, we acquiesce [We normally don't get a choice in the matter anyway] So we are Told what time to be ready. We drag our tired sorry butts into the shower [Whether it's Tuesday or not] and use soap then have to drag a razor across our face [even though we just shaved last week.]

We slap on some clean clothes [That were scheduled to be worn for the next work week] many of us suspect it's a ploy to get us out of this weeks dirty work clothes but so far that is an unconfirmed rumor. To only add to the confusion, we are not sure and or told what you gals are in the mood to eat for dinner. [Usually not a nice Burger and Fries and or a Pizza] which is what we really want.

So, we hurry up and wait. We stand there not wanting to touch anything in fear that we'll dirty next weeks work clothes. Never really hearing the end of it Finally, we guys get the go ahead to leave. [Usually expressed by the females anger and frustration about how late it is getting] as they rush past us on their way to the car, only to be told after a few minutes of being on the road that we had forgotten something at the house and must turn around...

Now, we are late and lost looking for some damn place nobody has ever heard of except the checkout clerk at the drug store.

No!

We wont stop for directions.

Why?


Because we are losing consciousness from lack of food and getting delirious from the Fresh scent on our clean clothes and are afraid we might get sick on the person we ask....

Lol... I do know women like this and it drives ME nuts too. A practical explanation is that it's typically due to overscheduled, hectic days with too much to do, not enough time to do it all. To be honest, I lose some empathy/sympathy I may have when this becomes a chronic issue.

***

Propose a truce: we won't hassle you about stopping to ask for directions as long as you don't hassle us about stopping for bathroom breaks (road trip rules) ... ya?

Why nothing is cooked when we get home from work is never really explained. [Some of us suspect it has something to do with Oprah & TV]

lol we get no explaination , because we know whatever they tell us is just to cover up there lazyness

My dream?

Come home after a hard days work , See my wife in a sexy little outfit , some cute heels , hair and make up done. She says "hunnie , your steak dinner is ready for you infront of the tv" as i walk over the tv , she walks by gives me a quick kiss ,as i get a wiff of her perfume and sunshine smile , as she walks by i slap that ass ! and say whos yo daddy lool

IS this too much to ask for ladies ? like really ? your home all day anyway , giggling with your other gf's who come over and watch day time tv with you , as you do your magic in the kitchen and play with the kids. Surely there is a little time for this ?


A wise man once said behind every successful man there is a strong women! But behind every failure is also a women haha :p

Why Can't Ladies be ready on time?,

You ever see a women without her make on properly ? lol , one flaw in there make up the whole thing is ruined! because now the whole night you will be like my god women you couldn't have put that lipstick on ALL of your lips ? instead of leaving that dry spot , or going "over the lines" lol


I say let them have the time , they are such precious fragile sweet little dolls , that they need all that time to paint there faces properly errr i mean put on make up .

Besides when they come down those stairs looking like they are ready for the rest carpet makes it all worth while

Also i believe they like to make men wait to punish us more , because they can. Its one tool out of many ! Espically if we didn't listen to them that day.

We wont stop for directions.

A wise man once said !

christopher columbus didn't need directions neither do we!

Awright!

A rant on women thread, my favorite.


My biggest issue with the wife is how she always finds a way to lose the car keys at least two or three times daily!

I'll be sitting on the couch, minding my own business, relaxing after a hard day at work when she comes running in, demanding that everyone stop everything and get up and help her find her car keys. I try to ignore her (like any good husband has learned to do over time) but, she keeps yelling over the TV to the piont where I can't enjoy my program anymore and I'm forced to get up and help her find her keys.

9 times out of 10, they are in her coat pocket (which she also conveniently happens to lose a few times a day) or right inside her pants pocket (she gets REALLY pissed when I tell her to check her pockets and even more pissed when the keys end up being in there). Other times, they are on her dresser, the kitchen counter or the bathroom sink. You would THINK she would have learned the usual places where she loses them every single day of her life but, NOOOooo!

And God help us when we're in a hurry to get somewhere; I'll hand her the keys, just minutes before heading out the door and she STILL comes back to me seconds later screaming for me to help he because she's lost her keys already!

I think the only thing she's really good at is losing things. Thank God we weren't designed with detachable heads or she would end up losing that too.

Because we have to make sure, are make up is perfect, along with our hair, and it takes us forever to find us the perfect outfit.

We have to be perfect.

reply to post by SLAYER69


lol slayer

what takes longer?

washing a test tube on the outside
or washing a test tube on the inside

reply to post by LadySkadi


That's a good one! I would be a millionaire if I got a dollar
for everytime I had to beg to go,I don't have a 6 hour bladder!
Another thing...I was only in the bathroom for 5 minutes,not
a half hour...men

Originally posted by mamabeth
reply to post by LadySkadi

 

Another thing...I was only in the bathroom for 5 minutes,not
a half hour...men

That's the only place we get any peace and quiet to do some reading.

I keep This book next to the can at all times. Already read through it twice and it never gets old.

reply to post by yourboycal2


Ahhh,I see you forgot the cold beer and the kids' are
at grandma's house for the week-end.

reply to post by LadySkadi


No truce!

We shall be assimilated. Resistance is futile...


That was the hidden message/translation/agreement we agreed to when we said...

"I do"

Woman are never on time because they are CRAZY and VERY EVIL.

You guys can remember sports stats since you were 12 but cant figure out how to get your wives/girlfriends to be on time?

I say see it as a football game, you have 1 min left in the last quarter, what do you do?

Many women that take forever getting ready usually have men that are picky about how they look (low self esteem) and are concerned with the way they look when going out with you. Maybe a little bit of "You always look beautiful" will get a women to move a little faster.

As far as directions are concerned, we live in the GPS/Google Earth age, this should no longer be a discussion.

A little tip for the men, most women have a "style", if she likes skirts, then tell her which one is "your" favorite, this way she will buy your "fav" in many other styles, and will also get her to move a bit faster.

Also women dont like to be the first one "there". So fib a little on the time frame, get a burger before you head out or get home, and while shes getting dressed, get on the computer, and look up all possible directions.

These my male friends are easy, and will get the results you desire

Peace, NRE.

reply to post by FortAnthem


Problem solved, for just the low, low payment of just $19.95.




But wait..... THERE'S MORE!!

You can buy 2 sets, and then you have one with you, you can them set the alarm yourself, and not have to look for it. After a while it will drive her crazy that you can find them so easily... and she cant. Another successful story with an easy solution.

Peace, NRE.

reply to post by SLAYER69


I know how you feel...I said I do and now I don't.
I don't have the freedom to go where I want,I have
to ask my hubby.
I don't get a paycheck, I get an allowance.I do spend
his paycheck though.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


One minute left in the last quarter and what do you do?
You take a 30 second timeout just as the opposing team
is kicking a field goal.

reply to post by mamabeth


Well Mama


I "Did" then it was "Done"

Never fully recovered.

Drinking Cold Beer and watching Sports helps but not much....

reply to post by SLAYER69


Maybe the next time you will have her sign a pre-nup.
You will put in writing what she is suppose to do and
what you want in return for hitching up.
Cold beer in the fridge,slippers by the sofa,remote safely
in your hands,cheesy puffs in a bowl,sports on the tube
and no yapping from the woman.Am I right?

Because it takes a woman much longer to get ready, and suddenly the man cuts in, takes care of himself, holds the woman up, and then when he is ready, he complains that she is late.

reply to post by nixie_nox


Right, and another reason why it takes so long for us women
to get ready...We have to get the kids' ready.

reply to post by mamabeth


Which...

Are all dressed and running around knocking stuff over and getting dirty and figitty while you're still in the bathroom putting on your faces.

Then you're upset that the kids are Cranky because they are half starved by the time we reach the restaurant and all they want is dessert.