Daughter has a New Laptop with Webcam.....Help!!!!

Okay, first and foremost, I am not that Dad.....Seriously, I am not that Dad, I am pretty straight laced and by the book, but don't expect the kid to be perfect, or any far cry from that....However, Grandma just got the 14 year old daughter a laptop with ALL the bells and whistles.....This has been the day I have dreaded, knew it was coming, but terrified it came so soon....Okay...so here is the point.

She has this new found freedom.....everything has gone right out the window....bedtimes...right,.......chores, yeah, whatever.....social tact and dignity.....that is the crux.....Okay,

So...again, I am not the 'destroy all children's privacy' guy.....However, it would be nice to flip to her desktop and check in now and again.....We have a package at work (gives me the heebies and a real good case of the geebies) that allows the powers at be to remote view.......I had one when I had my security company, but it informed the target pc that they were being viewed......the one we have at work now does not.....Sooooo

Computer geeks come forth....once more onto the breech dear friends, once more......We go to battle yet again the teenage angst and hormone rage.....We go to fight for everyone over the age of 19....for 19 is not old, and will not die tomorrow....Nor does being over the age of 19 mean you have a negative value in knowledge (still trying to do the math on that, last insult she gave me, of course, I was told that I need to go to school to get learned, ~shrug~ your guess is as good as mine).....OK.....

Point, She has a laptop on my network.....fill in the blanks, any good discrete software out there that can just pull up a remote view or activity log....This is out of my experience on the security side, I was more perimeter and visual....Thanks, all input is welcome, even the flamers.

I know there has to be other parents out there that have gone through this or worried about it and done the research....not that I want you to do my research for me....just hoping you have done the trial and error already ...would love to learn your experiences.....Because 'They' Do know more than we do.....~sigh~

I personally use this one, but am sure thiers more out thier.

www.howtospy.com...

reply to post by Speakerofthetruth


any issues you have found with it?

reply to post by pointr97



Education is the key.
If its safety you are worried about, simply warn her of the dangers.
But the only person you are going to be helping by limiting her social interactions such as romances is yourself not her.

My suggestion would be to trust your daughter, for if she found out you were spying on her then that could create a whole new issue, one that may be hard to resolve.

Yes, there are nasty things on the net - but take it from an IT guy, they are harder to find than you think. The average Internet user doesn't have the knowledge or the will to go searching for the bad sites, I would think your daughter would generally stick to Facebook, Twitter and the other mainstream websites. If you find she is on dating websites or the like, you might want to question why your daughter is on a dating website and address that separately.

Just my 2c.

reply to post by BanMonsanto


did i say anything about limiting....nope, don't think so....I also was pretty clear about discrete...meaning, I want her to be herself, but would like to catch a problem sign before it becomes a problem. If that needs explained further, you have no experience being a dad to a teenage girl....I am almost 40, and if my boss feels it is warranted to monitor my activity discretely......then monitoring a mentally immature girl with free access to the internet with webcam and no real idea of the ramifications of a bad decision is kinda a mute point, don't you agree?

what you are looking for is a keylogger, there are many types some free and some not.

If I was you I would install a keyogger, and tell her that the PC/laptop will be monitored until she is at least 18. (for her safety of course).

reply to post by pointr97

The problem with what you are saying is that when you 'discretely' monitor her internet usage you are probably going to see things that will make you upset, even tho they are very normal. Such as talking to boys.

As Kryties pointed out, where’s the trust? How do you think she would feel if she learnt that you had been spying on her? I’m not a father but I know enough to say that this would not be positive for your relationship.

There’s a big difference between workplace monitoring and spying on your kids.

She’s is probably not as immature as you think and if you have taught her well she won’t be in danger.

reply to post by Kryties


Wow....trust and educate.....hmm, seems to be the common theory.....~sigh~....This is not drugs, alcohol, or sex.....oh wait, our parents taught us about those too.....how much of it sank in?.....seriously, we have all been there, parents are cautious for a reason, the reason is because we KNOW what we thought of what our parents told us....

Sorry, but trust and educate, grow up people.....A girl can quickly destroy her life by a stupid decision that didn't seem like anything other than fun at the time.....shall i bring up sexting?......Oh wait, your right, educate them to not do it.....'honey, always wear your seatbelt.'.....'sure dad'.....how long does that last?

This thread is not a witch hunt to defend the mental maturity of our hormone enraged teenagers....this is a thread of a concerned dad that would like to pop over and make sure everything is normal......uhm, same thing as opening the door every so often to the basement and calling down....'everyone have their clothes on?'......just saying that if you needed it put into context.

reply to post by pointr97


First of all, have you ever heard of a Google search? I'm sure you'll find what you are looking for with a few simple searches. It can't really be that hard.

Secondly, I am interested in knowing what it is you don't want her doing on the internet? Talking to weird guys or something? I highly doubt she's that stupid. Browsing sites like ATS? She has the right to read anything on ATS. Downloading pirated movies/music? Everyone does it at some point. Looking at adult websites? Do you really want to know that?

It's not like she's going to join anonymous and start hacking into large company websites...

Originally posted by kaleshchand
what you are looking for is a keylogger, there are many types some free and some not.

If I was you I would install a keyogger, and tell her that the PC/laptop will be monitored until she is at least 18. (for her safety of course).

She has already been told that.....however, she is still a kid, her mom walked in on her in her bra and the skype was on to a male friend....I don't know much more than that, you know if she was out of frame or not.


To the other post....No, this generation is not more mature than the last few at that age, we actually grew up......This generation has zero ability to interact socially.....and that is based on the simple aspect they didn't go out and play, they sat in front of some screen playing or watching something....

Originally posted by pointr97
reply to post by BanMonsanto

 

did i say anything about limiting....nope, don't think so....I also was pretty clear about discrete...meaning, I want her to be herself, but would like to catch a problem sign before it becomes a problem. If that needs explained further, you have no experience being a dad to a teenage girl....I am almost 40, and if my boss feels it is warranted to monitor my activity discretely......then monitoring a mentally immature girl with free access to the internet with webcam and no real idea of the ramifications of a bad decision is kinda a mute point, don't you agree?

????? Somethings wrong here...you may as well be peeking in her window. Turning on the webcam is not protecting her..limiting access is and laying out rules. You need help.

Are you her step father?

Originally posted by ChaoticOrder
reply to post by pointr97

 

First of all, have you ever heard of a Google search? I'm sure you'll find what you are looking for with a few simple searches. It can't really be that hard.

Secondly, I am interested in knowing what it is you don't want her doing on the internet? Talking to weird guys or something? I highly doubt she's that stupid. Browsing sites like ATS? She has the right to read anything on ATS. Downloading pirated movies/music? Everyone does it at some point. Looking at adult websites? Do you really want to know that?

It's not like she's going to join anonymous and start hacking into large company websites...

Your first point, yes, I have heard of google.....anyone can indeed type in strings, go back to the original post, I was asking for those with knowledge and experience....meaning have you actually used Bank of America and what was your experience, positive or negative....

Second point, no, she is a minor, she has no rights.....just to make a point.....she did ask for a membership to ATS, and was turned downed by ATS because she is to young.....pirated movies, i will help her find them.....porn?....I could care less.......Your point missed the mark completely, I care that she is behaving properly....we have already had to call a few moms to get pics destroyed off boys phones....So no she isn't that stupid, she is that immature as ALL 14 year olds are, they are driven by hormones, not brains....

Originally posted by type0civ

Originally posted by pointr97
reply to post by BanMonsanto

 

did i say anything about limiting....nope, don't think so....I also was pretty clear about discrete...meaning, I want her to be herself, but would like to catch a problem sign before it becomes a problem. If that needs explained further, you have no experience being a dad to a teenage girl....I am almost 40, and if my boss feels it is warranted to monitor my activity discretely......then monitoring a mentally immature girl with free access to the internet with webcam and no real idea of the ramifications of a bad decision is kinda a mute point, don't you agree?

????? Somethings wrong here...you may as well be peeking in her window. Turning on the webcam is not protecting her..limiting access is and laying out rules. You need help.

what are you talking about? I said view her desktop not her cam....She is the one with the webcam unrestricted.

edit-you are so off base and trying to turn this into an entirely different topic.....remote viewing a desktop is looking at what is on another screen, nothing more, ie facebook open or internet explorer with ATS on it....I have zero clue what you are referring to, nor do I want to

Nevermind, this futile.....I was looking for advice from parents that can understand the position.....This is no different than putting your ear to the door to ensure the sounds are normal....or opening the basement door to stick your head in.....Sorry, but as long as we are responsible for them, and they are minors......They don't have any real privacy except what the parents allow.....and a stupid parent would trust their child implicitly without question. I have viewed a number of sites regarding this issue and they all say, 'keep your kids passwords to their accounts, and monitor them regularly.'....

So instead of keeping the thread as I intended it to be, which was along the line of monitoring online activity, this has become one of child's right to privacy....Thank you all..

reply to post by pointr97


I read all your posts again and I'm certain your the moms boyfriend..not the child's dad. How can you not care if she views porn? What are you trying to do then? You don't knowthe story behind her Skype incident.

Start talking pal

Originally posted by pointr97
reply to post by BanMonsanto

 

did i say anything about limiting....nope, don't think so....I also was pretty clear about discrete...meaning, I want her to be herself, but would like to catch a problem sign before it becomes a problem. If that needs explained further, you have no experience being a dad to a teenage girl....I am almost 40, and if my boss feels it is warranted to monitor my activity discretely......then monitoring a mentally immature girl with free access to the internet with webcam and no real idea of the ramifications of a bad decision is kinda a mute point, don't you agree?

Sure... Then she'll just lie. Be afraid of a controlling father, and lie to you all the time. She goes out with her friends (who is actually her boyfriend), goes to a girlfriend's house for the night (which is actually her boyfriend's car) dressed in jeans (with a very short skirt and a wonderbra hidden in her purse) and you'll be one very proud, but ignorant, father.

I wish you the best, I hope you learn more in the months ahead than you did in your past 40 years.

as the mother of grown up lads, and the auntie of teenage girls (one of whom is 13) my advice would be to tell your daughter that you'll be checking her computer from time to time. she is FOURTEEN, she is still under your protective umbrella and at her age YOU are the boss. If she can't handle you checking up on her, particularly after her mother found her in that compromising position, take the computer away from her, or only let her use it in your company.

to be honest it's all very well and good having spy programmes, but her trust in you would be destroyed if she found out that you were doing that without telling her.

so tell her. tell her that as she's 14, and obviously already doing things online she shouldn't be, that you're going to be watching her internet activity as it is your DUTY to protect her. she won't like it any more than my niece did, but ultimately you are the parent and you are doing what you have to in order to keep her safe.