Shhh! Its a secret!

Hello ATS people.
I was watching a show on the Toynbee tiles so I googled it.
It was boring so I googled "urban unsolved mysteries" which turned up a story about a giant pyramid on this site. Thats how I came to be here. I like to google. I get bored easily.

I noticed that the pyramid story said it was "heading this way" so I was like "wut?" and read on.

It turned out to be fairly boring so I ended up browsing other topics and thought that even though the site looks pretty scary it might be fun to sign up and join in and chat and all that for awhile. Give it a go and stuff.

As you can see my name is invaliduser. Please feel free to call me iu, or invalid, or user, or hey new person.

By day I'm an IT professional and graphic artist and by night I do pretty much the same things other people do I imagine. I watch movies, play video games, eat food thats probably bad for me and wonder what its all about up there in space, or if ghosts are really really real.

A little about me personally. I don't dig on politics so please don't expect anything coherent from me there.

I don't subscribe to any religions but I have some opinions on them. Opinions that I like to keep civil. I feel like religion has caused enough war to bother arguing over it. Ooh. Ouch! Eh its my thread I'll leave that one in.

I tend to poke fun at most things within reason so please don't be offended and if you are just let me know. I'll apologize.

Hmm what else.

If I lived near a volcano I would move. I don't so we are a-ok there. Seriously if you live near a volcano. Move. >_>

I type like I talk so sorry in advance if thats weird or something. I like using smilies as they look better than my face. I'm a punctuation rebel. Sometimes I just don't like apostrophes. I just don't, I don't know why and I can't afford a therapist. My sense of humour is about 12 years old for the most part. Seeing or saying the word poop makes me laugh. I once joined a forum that spoke entirely in leetspeak. F0|2 |234|_! (for real!) It eventually gave me a headache so I left.

The old wrinkly lady in the ad on the home page here scared the crap out of me. She's pulling her skin off...
I hope I'm allowed to say crap here. Twice. If not sorry. *cough*

I'm feeling kind of pressured by the character count below this window and I don't know if I can actually come up with something to say in 5222 characters. I'll try though! j/k That would be so annoying lol. I hate tl;dr posts!
(I fully expect someone to respond with "tl;dr" lul.)

I have a rubber duck that looks like a pirate. I like zombies and hope that if there is an apocalypse that it is of the zombie variety so I can put all the nifty skills I've been honing into use. I have a detailed apocalypse survival plan. I'd be happy to discuss it though I will be leaving out possible fortified locations because I wouldn't want to have to shoot you with a crossbow into the moat. I've said too much already...

I'm a huge horror fan. My favourite movie is The Thing. Both of them. I haven't seen the prequel yet so I dunno how that will go. I didn't spell favourite wrong. I'm from Canada. Our main export is bacon and donuts. At the same time. If you order bacon you must order donuts. We have not yet perfected the bacon donut yet. Sometimes I break out into spontaneous made up rap lyrics. I hate rap music. If you send me pictures of yourself I will somehow photochop you into a compromising position with a burrito. Fair warning. I'm just sayin.

I'm tired of talking about myself right now so I'm going to stop here and open the floor for questions. Funnily enough I like answering questions. I previewed this post 8 times before posting it. Let the games begin!

Originally posted by invaliduser
I like to google. I get bored easily.

have you ever google- wacked?

that is fun.

oh and by the way... the formatting program is not a female.

welcome to ATS.

Haha very nice intro, welcome to the nuthouse my friend

Welcome aboard hope you enjoy your stay

None of us are well you know

@thurisaz: Nope, but I just did and it said: "Did you mean: whacked ?" I have no way of telling it no and I'm too scared to search images.

@lBLaCkOuTl and Bilder: Thanks! I was hoping my abnormalities would blend in.

hey....

welcome......so what's your beef with volcanoes huh.....you think they are all alike....they will just pop their top because that's the way they are.....open your eyes man.....it's a conspiracy....they are really alien hills that want us to run from them in terror so they can have monkeys and birds perch on them unhindered.....realize.....

lol.....

and we add 1 to the tally.....nice......even though he hates on volcanoes.....

Welcome !
I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed your introduction , it was very pleasant and humorous . I like your sense of humor and look forward to reading anything you may write
I also agree with poop but pretty much any bodily function or fluid is very much appreciated pertaining to humor,lol

Glad to meet you!

reply to post by newyorkee


Hey I'm not hating on volcanoes. I'm just sayin they are bad neighbours! They asplode. It's terrifying and I have no idea why someone would live near one. Yogi Bear Im looking at you!....no wait...thats Jellystone...ok nevermind. >_>

Alien hills you say? All the more reason to run the other way my friend. I have theories on aliens too but if I got into that right now we would be talking some serial verbal diareea...diehareehaha...diaghrrea. Poop.

@ujustneverknow: Thank you! I have to say I am rarely ever associated with the words pleasant or enjoyed, so thanks for that!

@venkmen66: Thanks man. So. What are your thoughts on burritos? Also, nice towel rack. I'm dying inside a little.

welcome, nice to know you then meet you. in that order

Originally posted by invaliduser
Hello ATS people.

Hello, fellow ATS person


Welcome! Very interesting introduction you have there. I think you are going to like it here.

Welcome to the madhouse!

Hello and welcome!!

Hi and welcome to ATS.

There is far too much variety on here to get bored lol, you should fit in well.

You remind me of someone......he's called Fred apparently. I like you though

Have fun!

Namaste

reply to post by invaliduser

Originally posted by invaliduser

I like using smilies as they look better than my face.

Ok then. I wanna introduce you to somebody.

Say hello to my little friend.

...and his annoying kid brother.

Welcome.







P.S. ↓ Remove the empty space.
:clwn dnc: =
:pbj time: =

Awesome....a normal person. Welcome to ATS :

You aren't going to morph into some ET sent here to prepare us for your fleet's arrival are you....hope not, we're over run with those guys at the moment.

Heh, poop.
poop, heh.

reply to post by invaliduser


Welcom fellow PooP LoVeReR

Funniest intro ever! Well, of the ones I've read... Which is to say the ones which make it to the front page. I don't have time to read all the boring riff-raff introductions, my time is semi-precious, well, by semi-precious I mean I have Skyrim to complete still.... So, I let the flags float the best introductions to the main page, and those I read. You seem like the same kinda guy I am, but I'm from Australia and we already perfected the bacon donut, but since we're a bunch of no-good crims some bugger ate it.

Also, put a U in your favourites and microsoft will forever punish you with a squiggly line under it! I say, start the zombie Apocalypse on B.G's rooftop.

Hello!

reply to post by invaliduser


Haha you are exactly what this forum needs? Funny with a hint of charm! I think you gonna do well here ( if you don't break down and go mad within the first few weeks, no I'm serious this site should come with a health warning, only joking, he's not! Wait what?)

Good luck mwhahahahahahahahaha

ALS

Thank you all for the welcomes!

@Threegirls: To my knowledge I have never been a Fred. If I do however have a sudden onslaught of Fredness I'll just apologize now because it seems like it wouldnt be a good thing.

@BrokenCircles: Oh yes thank you. Love the clown. He reminds me of me. My arms have always had this peculiar side to side motion. They are doing it now..... And again.... And again.

I am very familiar with the peanuh butta jellee time bana. He and I...have unfinished business.

@DestinyOne: Not that Im aware of. I do have a weird sort of hair tentacle above my left eyebrow but thats a story for another day amirite?

@BlastedCaddy: I can see we will be friends. Heh.

@p00p0n: Sorry I was too lazy to write your whole name. Or in fact right it. Ba dum tish? Helluva cute dog. I must clarify I dont love poop per se I just find it funny. One instance where I would not find poop funny would be if an animal did the deed and I had to clean it up. Otherwise it makes me laugh my ass off.

@Qumulys: Holy crap at everything you just said. First of all your name is awesome and clever. Secondly I'm currently powering my way through Skyrim on three different characters. One is a Nord warrior who refuses to use magic other than to gain entrance to the mages college. The second is a wood elf thats a semi magic wielding ranger and the third is an Imperial merchant who will do only enough adventuring to begin buying and selling. I wanted to experience the game from strictly an economic POV. We should geek out later!
..and C, no idea what you mean by floating flags but hey you seem harmless enough to me!

I kind of like the red squiggly lines. Sometimes. _> I do it on purpose! *giggle*

@ALOSTSOUL: Thanks! I see you're also prone to talking to yourself and laughing uncontrollably most likely in the wrong situations. I like that! I do it on the bus all the time. The laughing I mean. Not that other thing.
Really liking your Assassin's Creed -ish avatar. Alot. I'm currently playing Revelations. I'm trying to cut down on my AC playing because it makes me think I can climb buildings around my city. I found out I can't. I'm nowhere near as good as Ezio. ..and frankly people look at me funny whenever I do a running jump at the side of a building on the way to work. Also if you ever need help finding your soul I can't help you man Im sorry. I lose everything.