I am a 25yr old White Male in UK, and I have been diagnosed with HIV :(

reply to post by benjamin2012


reply to post by benjamin2012


Greetings. I read your post as I myself am HIV+ and I am a writer for a webzine on the topic.

First I want to tell you that I too felt like you are. But I found out that life was worth living and the way I did that was by trying to help others avoid what befell me.

Then I had to start meds. Now, there are many different type of meds that you can try and without further information I can't even guess at what may be causing your side effects. That said, i am not a doctor, nor can I diagnose you however I am a certified health educator and the first thing I would advise you is to give yourself another chance.

If you do that, you may find that you are the inspiration for someone else to keep from making the same decision.

Science and meds have come a long way. Perhaps, if it is an option, you may want to ask for another Geno/Pheno type to see if another cocktail might be a more acceptable treatment. The one thing anyone with HIV must never do is stop taking there meds because the virus mutates too fast and resistance is all but guaranteed thus rendering that treatment unviable.

If the meds were making you sick you could request another regimen, or doctor, or both. Please don't give up on yourself. The life you save may not only be yours but by fighting this (LIKELY MAN MADE DISEASE) you give hope to others to continue to have hope and NOT give up.

Today, because of my cocktail with minimal side effects and other meds to reduce or eliminate them, I am happy, healthy and my viral load is undetectable. I wont go into too much detail for the sake of those that are not HIV+ but if you need to speak or ask questions, feel free to inbox me. Since I don't know if I can mention the site I write for, you can ask me via e-mail.

I have not had the chance to read all the posts and do hope that you read mine. I don;t know about the UK but in the USA, the only people that now die of AIDS are those that fail to take care of themselves. The meds have come so far that for some, HIV is just an afterthought.

At 25 you have an entire life to live. If you have not yet, would you consider a counselor/social worker/psychologist? You are not crazy. And likely not suicidal. But when I had the same symptoms you are mentioning, if was determined that I was suffering from a very severe case of depression. With counseling and medication, that can become manageable.

What I am asking you is to PLEASE if you are going to let yourself pass on, you have nothing at all to lose by giving yourself another year with a different regimen and proper counseling. Someone that will LISTEN to you and your needs. Not tell you what to do but help you find your own reason for being, or not.

I was once in the abyss and felt alone. I promise you, you are not alone. Worrying about whether this is man made or not is irrelevant and counter productive. I PROMISE YOU, if you allow yourself to go, you will regret it and instead of being an inspiration, you become a reason for others to follow you.

By posting here, you have already made yourself known. Not by name but by your existence. The easy way out is not so easy until you find out the hard way 3 or 4 years of suffering later and you are still alive but barely and also making your loved ones suffer as much.

I will leave you with this true story as my partner too is HIV+

He was on his death bed with 4 t-cells and a viral load of 6 million. He didn't have long. that was 3 years ago. The Dr. put him on a new regimen.

Today, he i completely undetectable of virus, has over 1000 t-cells, is strong, vibrant, beautiful and giving back to the community. Your story is so much like his that I hope you consider it.

How you got it i mute. WHO CARES! You are human and deserve to live. How you make it submit to your life that you may live a long happy and healthy life is up to you. Don't give up. If you are going to go down, go down with a fight and let your last act be one of valor that you may be an inspiration to others.

I hope and pray you consider my words and if you want to talk, please inbox me so as to respect your privacy and respect for this site.

Till then, don't give up the fight. Please. Give it ONE more try. YOU DESERVE it and let NO ONE bring you down. When a person has a problem with your status, remember it's THEIR problem not yours. You have enough on your hands. Take care, and I hope I have given you something to consider. I await your e mail in my inbox.

Frankie Ninja

Originally posted by Schwalbe
you fail to mention how you became infected? if through sex you seem not to be worried about if you have passed it on!

edit on 5-1-2012 by Schwalbe because: (no reason given)

And you base your foolish judgement on what? That he didn't mention sex? Where do you get off on that? Have you any idea of all the ways you can become infected? With an attitude like that, you are not likely to.

Why don't you leave the inferences for someplace they belong. NOT where someones life is concerned. I'm apologize to the mods for my anger but you seem very judgmental and ignorant and there is no reasoning with that.

I pity you.

Originally posted by ODGreen
reply to post by benjamin2012

 

It hurts my heart to hear your story, I love you and will pray for you, prayers are powerful. God loves you!

Right are we on about the god who changed the very nature of how the universe works to put a baby in marys tummy, the god that has ultimate cotrol of everything, a god that's so loving he gave this man AIDS and cancer in the same year.

I'm a realist and i'm going to say it how it is, he had unprotected gay sex and from what i can fathom he's blaming the US government for it, well i'm sorry but he's got no one but himself to blame.

Originally posted by _Phoenix_
reply to post by minor007

 

Your basically saying we should turn our backs to a person in need because he made a mistake. Guess what, making mistakes is a very human trait, and learning from those mistakes is what makes humans stronger, wiser and live a more meaningful life.

where did i say turn our backs? i only said dont come here for sympathy in a conspiracy forum. Also to add if people with hiv behaved responsibly with regards to protecting others from the HIV virus then numbers would be decreasing eliminating the virus altogether. i dont see your "those mistakes is what makes humans ...." working here? do you?

Turning your back on people will only cause humanity to self destruct.

Humankind is already on the self destruct without the need for anyone to turn their back.

Are you a sociopath? Serious question.

to be a sociopath you have to fit most of this criteria.

Glibness and Superficial Charm
defintely not me

Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
this dont apply to me

Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
nope not me either

Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
I have no need to lie so again nope

Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
dont apply to me

Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
dont apply to me

Incapacity for Love
dont apply to me

Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
dont apply to me

Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
dont apply to me

Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
dont apply to me

Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
defintely not me

Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
dont apply to me

Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.
dont apply to me

Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
dont apply to me

Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.
dont apply to me

Since none of them is a yes then the answer to your question is a no i am not

Originally posted by blackrain17
Do you have HIV or AIDS? HIV itself shouldn't make you ill. It's when you have AIDS that's when the problem starts.

edit on 5-1-2012 by blackrain17 because: (no reason given)

With all respect, if you are not a doctor, you are not in a position to make such dangerous statements.

I am both a health educator and HIV+ and because I take care of myself and educate myself I am perfectly find and doing ALL I can to help people like him from giving up.

The ONLY difference between HIV and AIDS is a NUMBER. 201 T-cells and above and you have HIV. 200 and below you have AIDS.

Opportunistic infections can befall US HIVers at ANY time and it can be ANYTHING, from peripheral neuropathy, to vision loss, to memory loss to cancer or worse BUT it doesn't happen to everyone nor to the same extent nor is it guaranteed.

That said, knowledge is power and the more you have, the weaker this virus becomes to you. The more you understand it, the better you can manage it.

I have been HIV+ for 4 years but I am a personal friend of one the youngest person diagnosed with it when it was first identified as "The Grid" that was 30 years ago. Today, he is 42 years old and looks not a minute over 25 and is a vibrant member of the community and is MY personal hero. His name is Luna Kahn, Please feel free to google him and KNOW that HIV is no longer a death sentence and speculating on its origins serves no purpose.

I have a funny feeling I am going to respond to more of these posts and hope that you understand that I am doing this to dispel myths and rumors and to give hope and to educate those who through no fault of their own, know no better and to those that should, to be put in their place because hatred has no place in the life of the ill.

Originally posted by OhZone
Haven't you read any of the article telling us that HIV/Aids is a Hoax; that the so-called HIV "virus" does absolutely nothing. That the fact that you have the so-called HIV Antibodies in your blood already says that your immune system has conquered it.
You were correct to give up the so-called Aids medications. If it was AZT, it will/would have killed you. It is deadly stuff.
The lymphoma was another matter. Glad you got rid of it.
Do some research and keep yourself healthy.
It is important to keep your body Alkaline. Look up the book "Alkalize or Die". It has some good advice.
If you need underarm deodorant, your body is Acid, and that is bad.
You can take 1/2 to 1 tsp of baking soda in water to be on the way to an alkaline body.
Do it on an empty stomach at least an hour before you eat, as your stomach needs the acid to digest your food.
Good luck.

ANYONE THAT LISTENS TO THIS MUMBO JUMBO IS INSANE! WOULD YOU RISK YOUR LIFE ON THE ADVICE OF SOMEONE YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AND WHO CAN CARE LESS IF YOU LIVE OR DIE? ----- CAPS INTENDED!

The ONLY advice anyone can give for your CONSIDERATION is to consult and HIV specialist and NOT the word of anybody that is not a doctor, nor is not himself diagnosed with HIV.

Originally posted by boymonkey74
Please don't take any notice of us lot though we are not Health professionals in the field talk to your Doctors and visit forums with people who are living with HIV, they will be the best people to talk to.

Some forums

www.hortilad.co.uk...

www.hortilad.co.uk...

Once again I wish you well dude

edit on 5-1-2012 by boymonkey74 because: (no reason given)

KUDOS sir, THAT is the proper response and am grateful for your wisdom
second line

OP, again, thank you for sharing.

I stopped reading all the posts and will end with this for those that are ignorant and not aware that HIV NOT ALWAYS TRANSMITTED BECAUSE OF PROMISCUITY. It is ALSO transmitted from mother to child through breast milk or by cowardly men that live a double lifestyle. When that INNOCENT CHILD is born, he/she ALREADY has the virus. What fault has he or she? Was he promiscuous? Or a drug user? Some of these posts are so highly offensive that they just don't belong here. Other ways of getting HIV include by accident (which has happened en mass in the USA by BLOOD transfusion. But note, the virus itself is very weak and can live outside the body for LESS than one minute so if you happen to touch blood that's been exposed to air for a few minutes and you have no open wounds, you are OK! Still, caution and knowledge are the best policies along with protection. NEVER rely on the other person to be honest. The responsibility lies SQUARELY on you!.

I will say again, I HAVE HIV and I am not ashamed of it for it made me a better person that NOW appreciates what I expect to be a long and healthy life helping others like me, understand that its not the end but a new beginning that allows us to reshape our lives with the wisdom gained from mistakes of the past.

aids is definitely a man-made virus theres no doubt about it.
its too bad that countless threads have been made on the
subject and still there isnt much coverage on it throughout
ats AND the mainsteam media (doh!! of course :/)

A.I.D.S. is Man-made by William Cooper DATE/TIME: 07/27/90 21:02 To All, During my talks in Las Vegas last weekend I revealed a few things about aids that I have been keeping close to my chest. I have already revealed that I saw that AIDS was man made to eliminate the undesirable elements of society while I was attached to Naval Security and Intelligence. I stated this fact in my paper “The Secret Government.” Now for the rest of the story. The first study was made in 1957 by scientists meeting in Huntsville Alabama. That study resulted in “Alternative 3.” Another study was made by the Club of Rome in 1968 to determine the limits to growth. The result of the study was that civilization as we know it would collapse shortly after the year 2000 unless the population was seriously curtailed. Several Top Secret recommendations were made to the ruling elite by Dr. Aurelio Peccei of the Club of Rome. The chief recommendation was to develop a microbe which would attack the auto immune system and thus render the evelopment of a vaccine impossible.

polidics.com...

reply to post by benjamin2012


That’s sucks man! You know HIV was not man made, but it was brought to bear via the polio vaccine push in Africa. They used brown monkeys to make the vaccines, but unapproved chimps that carried the then unknown HIV virus were used instead of the monkeys. They deny this to this day, but there is photographic evidence and record of vaccines containing an unknown virus which is believed to be HIV.

There is also talk of HIV starting its spread in the San Francisco gay community due to tainted hepatitis vaccine which was offered to gay men as part of a study. Many say this is why HIV made its first real appearance among the gay male community in the USA.

So yes, I think big pharma is indeed responsible for the spread of HIV. Throughout the years I have heard of this person and that person cured, but maybe it’s just hype. I heard once about a cure that involved lowering the core body temp to a level where the virus could not survive. I think it was done in Hawaii. It might work if it didn’t kill you outright. You do hear of the occasional person who falls under the ice and is brought back after more than an hour! Maybe you could look it up.

wiki.answers.com...

I hope you'll find what you seek!

And may God bless you

As a Bay Area (CA) native with numerous gay friends since childhood (and no, HIV is not a gay disease, so I hope no one infers that from that statement; indeed new diagnoses of HIV in recent decades among heterosexuals outnumber those in the gay community... but if you were alive in the 1980s and had multiple gay friends, you will understand what I’m saying) your story is one I have sadly heard many, many times. This is an emotionally painful, terrifying disease that has a profound psychological impact (both for those diagnosed, and those around them who love them and see them suffer) and has taken so many good people from us.

I'm very sorry to hear of your suffering, fear, and ordeal. I am happy to hear that you have found some modicum of peace within yourself and are facing your mortality with such bravery. I can't say I would be able to do the same. You are more courageous than I, I suspect.

While it is true that with the newer medications HIV is no longer a death sentence, you are not the first person I’ve seen decide that the side effects of these drugs are not worth the benefit. That is an extremely personal decision only you and your loved ones can make, and I believe as long as you are happy and content with your decision, it is the right one for you. That said, I will as others have encourage you to try different medications, talk with your doctor, talk to other doctors, in an effort to find a cocktail that works for you personally. But again, this is ultimately your choice and I am bound to respect it.

I hope you can stick around for a long, long time. I hope you get nothing but respect and compassion for sharing your story. And I wish you nothing but happiness and fulfillment in your life, however long or brief it may be. Peace.

Glad your getting your life back on track. Although you shouldn't stop taking your medications they could add years to your life. I have paranoid schizophrenia and as much as I hate my medication I take it every day.

Look at Magic Johnson he was diagnosed years ago and is still alive. I remember it from back in the early 90's.

Originally posted by Cobra.EXE
aids is definitely a man-made virus theres no doubt about it.
its too bad that countless threads have been made on the
subject and still there isnt much coverage on it throughout
ats AND the mainsteam media (doh!! of course :/)

A.I.D.S. is Man-made by William Cooper DATE/TIME: 07/27/90 21:02 To All, During my talks in Las Vegas last weekend I revealed a few things about aids that I have been keeping close to my chest. I have already revealed that I saw that AIDS was man made to eliminate the undesirable elements of society while I was attached to Naval Security and Intelligence. I stated this fact in my paper “The Secret Government.” Now for the rest of the story. The first study was made in 1957 by scientists meeting in Huntsville Alabama. That study resulted in “Alternative 3.” Another study was made by the Club of Rome in 1968 to determine the limits to growth. The result of the study was that civilization as we know it would collapse shortly after the year 2000 unless the population was seriously curtailed. Several Top Secret recommendations were made to the ruling elite by Dr. Aurelio Peccei of the Club of Rome. The chief recommendation was to develop a microbe which would attack the auto immune system and thus render the evelopment of a vaccine impossible.

polidics.com...

Very interesting fictional story.

Alan Cantwell, in self-published books entitled AIDS and the Doctors of Death: An Inquiry into the Origin of the AIDS Epidemic and Queer Blood: The Secret AIDS Genocide Plot, says that HIV is a genetically modified organism developed by U.S. Government scientists and that it was introduced into the population through Hepatitis B experiments performed on gay and bisexual men between 1978–1981 in major U.S. cities. Cantwell claims that these experiments were directed by Wolf Szmuness, and that there was an ongoing government cover-up of the origins of the AIDS epidemic. Similar theories have been advanced by Robert B. Strecker, Matilde Krim and Milton William Cooper.

source

what is with the unhappy face?



?

it is your life, you lived it taking risks... my point is you made your bed now lay in it and do the best you can. Stop looking for pity.

This may come across harsh and it is not intended that way, but your thread is soaked with a pity me attitude...

well I don't pity you.

You are responsible for your life so lose the poor me bs and get on with it. I have friends who have HIV (MM used to be a member of ATS) and I got to know her... but do you know the difference between you and her?

she didn't push it out there for sympathy and I respect that. She embraced it and her attitude was much different...

i also know a person who had his leg amputated because of a motorbike accident...he contracted HIV because of a blood transfusion... even he doesn't wank on 'pity me' about it.

Toughen Up Princess!

Originally posted by Wertdagf

If you demonize the sick wouldnt you expect them to remain hidden?

Expecting them to take responsibility for their behavior is not demonizing them. What fuels outbreaks of STDs is this "if it feels good, do it" mentality that far too many people have, as evidenced by this thread. What also fuels reckless disease-spreading is telling people that they have no responsibility for their health.

It wasnt too long ago that the deluded religious idiots had claimed AIDS and homosexuality were inseparable.

I didn't even say anything about homosexuality. I've only alluded to recklessness and lack of responsibility.

All of this happens for a reason... none of which has anythign to do with a magical bearded idiot in the sky.

The reason all of this happens is due to reckless and adolescent behavior...none of which has anything to do with an evil master plan concocted by Big Brother.

I haven't seen this tested, but I did read that a species of the Feverfew plant is supposed to be good for HIV. Apparently allopathic treatments are getting better at increasing life expectancy, as well; although they still continue to claim the lack of a cure, whether or not that is true.

I would, however, urge you not to give up, and to devote every spare second of your time to research on the subject. Tom Bearden has mentioned the possibility of using time reversed EM waves at the specific frequency of the disease; and even though his research predates AIDS, you will also want to look up a man named Royal Rife, as well. Gaston Naessens' 714X is potentially worth checking out as well, even though that was primarily aimed at cancer.

Good luck; and may Kali bring you victory.

I just find it too hard to believe with all the money and research gone into finding a cure or vaccine that we are still no closer to finding one.

reply to post by benjamin2012


First of all, thanks for the post. I cannot imagine what it must have been like to be so ill and not know what was going on. Forgive me if I am wrong but being HIV positive does not mean you will develop full blown aids necessarily and with treatment and a healthy lifestyle, many HIV positive people go on to live relatively good lives? I do not think the stigma attached to the disease is quite what it used to be as there is a greater public awareness now.

What I can tell you is that my ex-father in law was in the medical profession and he told me 17 years ago that there was already a cure for most cancers and that is well known in certain circles. Cancer is big business nowadays with millions raised in government grants, charity, estates and donation funding annually, it is unlikely that the people who reap the financial benefit will proffer the cure publicly and risk losing the gravy train. In fact, until they can actually make more money from the cure than they raise from the donations and treatments that are worse than the disease it will just never happen. You are definitely on the right track.

So I admire you decision to let your course take you where it may and I wish you all the very best in health and happiness.

Bless You

OP, no nasty comments from me. I am awed by your attitude towards your illness (in a good way).
I am only the same age as you, and people seem to forget that HIV and AIDs is just as rife in straight people as it is in gay people. In fact, I've just read that it could be that more straight people are infected, and more women.

I'm not going to 'bash' you for your choices. More than a fifth of the population who have the disease do not know they even have it. And I bet there is not even one percent in this thread who has not had unprotected sex.

You are entitled to the treatment (if you choose to use it) as much as anyone, not matter how much you have been taxed. That's just another way of trying to make people feel bad for having their illnesses. I have a health condition which not only makes me infertile but also has made me obese, and without medication, I will remain infertile and obese. With medication, it will help me lose weight, and potentially conceive if and when I decide I want another child. With medication, I will be cutting the risk of heart disease and diabetes. Without medication, I will be a further burden on the NHS system by contracting these diseases.

So best of luck to you. Unfortunately there are people in life who will attempt to make you feel bad and guilty for what has befallen you, but I think you are doing a great job, and being better than anyone could expect about it.
I wish you good health and a long life and much happiness.

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