Nearly 20% of women in the US are raped, study reveals

Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by CREAM

 

Where are the guys?

Have you ever convinced a woman to have sex with you when she might not have been all that into it from the start?

No actually.

I go with the flow. I actually turned down having sex with a girl at college a few months ago because she was too drunk and I wasn't.

edit:lol if anything that girl was trying to rape me Edit 2: she was also freaking hot as hell lol, it's not impossible to resist though. Also I wanted to point out things between me n her worked out for awhile, she respected that I didn't take advantage of her then, and that paid off in the end.

reply to post by getreadyalready


I can assure you, rape victims KNOW where "the line" is drawn.

Look at all the unreported rapes in this thread alone. Rapes. Date rapes. Group rapes. All unreported, or reported and unpunished.

The 20% number is looking extremelly weak. The real number must be way closer to 100%.

There have been a few women state they have never had anything happen to them, and that is wonderful, but I'm afraid they are naive to how many wrongs are actually happening to all the other women, and the women shouldering those burdens without ever telling a soul?

reply to post by MoosKept240

I will say though, I have yet to hear one person talk of a way to prevent/reduce rape. In this thread

I believe if prostitution was legal, that the amount of rapes would decline greatly.

I don't have any answers, but I do know a high number of women that have been the victim, and men , of sex crimes become prostitutes, so I would say that is a double edged sword.

BTW men do brutalize and rape prostitutes, probably more than the average women.

Originally posted by gemdog
reply to post by getreadyalready

 

I can assure you, rape victims KNOW where "the line" is drawn.

Really? My wife didn't. A few posters here didn't. They might know it, but they don't feel it is enough to cause a big stink, or enough to go through the trouble, or enough to put someone in jail. Even some that have been raped by multiple persons didn't feel the need to call police because they were not cut or bruised or bleeding.

So do they really KNOW?

Many women on here have said they felt responsible for it, because they made some bad decisions. Did they think it was rape at the time? Do they think it now?

I assure you, the line is much blurrier than you think. I've actually had women ask me if something was rape. They tell me a story, and then ask if it was their own fault, or if they should have done something different, or if it is enough to be rape.

There was an arrest in Florida yesterday of consensual sex between a football coach and a 17 year old girl. He was arrested, but she is about to turn 18, and it would be perfectly legal. Was that rape? She was also sending nude pictures of herself to another man, and also having sex with him, and he was also arrested. So are the men both rapists?

Originally posted by gemdog
Wow. To those of you f'd up enough to say "wish some woman would rape me" and snicker, you are obviously clueless about how devastating ANY assault is, sexual or otherwise.

Yes, I got that, and I apologize. I was trying to be funny, but things didn't pan out like I wanted.

Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by CREAM

 

Where are the guys?

Have you ever convinced a woman to have sex with you when she might not have been all that into it from the start?

The art of seduction implies that we are manipulating a woman into doing what we want, not necessarily what they want.

It is a very gray scale between seduction and rape. Many times the woman goes along with something because it is easier than saying no, or because alcohol has influenced her decision, or because she really feels that you love her, and this is going somewhere.

I said in a much earlier post. Not all instances of "rape" deserve jail, but lying and cheating and plying a woman with alcohol only to duck out while she sleeps is a form of rape.

Some men carry it just a little further by actually holding her in place, maybe they think it is sexy, or they think she is enjoying it, but they have physically influenced the outcome. Other men might threaten to strand them, or threaten to spread rumors, or coerce in any number of emotional ways.

Some men might just see an unsuspecting party-goer and think they can sneak in and get away with something, and feel entitled and leave without a speck of guilt.

I think if we are honest with ourselves, most men have probably been guilty of some degree of this in the total scale. That is why it is so hard to report, prosecute, etc.

It becomes obvious at some point, but there are lots and lots of points between consensual and obvious rape. Even the women aren't so sure where that line can be drawn.

The idea that this sentiment is coming from a member of the moderation team of this website sickens me.

Rape is wrong in any context. But I have seen women make unbelievably stupid decisions that just set them up for danger, and that is certainly not a smart decision. Whenever I go to a club, I look at my fellow women dressed in... well, things that I wouldn't even consider to be clothes. And the way they dance... I mean, my God. A few weeks ago, I watched a group of scantily clad women bent over the bar table (like, bent in a right-angle) with men humping them from behind. And apparently, THAT'S considered dancing. It was so graphic, for all I know, there was actual penetration going on.

But unlike a lot of guys here... I'm not going to say that those women were "asking for it" if anything bad happened to them later in the night. Although they certainly weren't acting responsible - no one "asks for it" when rape happens. That's why it's "rape".

But of course, you don't have to be dancing around like a promiscuous trollop to get targeted. For example, that same night, I was wearing jeans and a tank top, just hanging out with friends on the sofa in the corner of the club. And yet, I still managed to get something put in my drink. I'm just lucky I don't go places like that alone (and I don't go often).

As for the men who do the raping... usually they are just sick perverts. But I'm sure there is the occasional "normal guy" who got mixed signals from a woman. I mean, using the clubbing scenario above: perhaps one of those women, bent over, letting a stranger grind her... ended up going home with the guy. Of course, in that situation, the man is going to try and make a move. After having a women bent over in submission letting him dance up on her all night - what else is he to think? Is he going to think of her as a strong, respectable woman that he wants to take out on a date before trying anything? Or is he going to see her as an "easy lay"?

The woman wasn't portraying herself as a respectable person. So obviously the guy is gonna try something. Of course, I'm not saying it's either right or wrong for the guy to try and get some. But the minute the woman says, No, the guy should back off immediately. It becomes rape when the woman says "No" and the man keeps going. And more often than not, that's what happens. These women act like that in the clubs and then get bothered when the men they are dancing with want to go back home with them to "finish the night off".

It's just confusing to me, as a woman. Why act like that if you aren't looking for sex? Just to tease men? That's not responsible. I mean, when I'm dancing in the club... and a man starts getting a little too close. I back off and go over to my friends. I don't want to give him ANY kind of wrong idea.

Obviously, if they end up getting raped... it's not their fault. But... they would have been much much safer acting more responsible in the first place!

And that's just my opinion about those who dress promiscuously and physically rub up against male strangers. I'm sure I'm not the only woman here who thinks that that behavior is asking for trouble. (Key word, "trouble". They're asking for trouble not asking for a violation... no one asks to be violated or raped).

Originally posted by Furbs
The idea that this sentiment is coming from a member of the moderation team of this website sickens me.

What is wrong with what he said?

Originally posted by Hydroman

Originally posted by gemdog
Wow. To those of you f'd up enough to say "wish some woman would rape me" and snicker, you are obviously clueless about how devastating ANY assault is, sexual or otherwise.

Yes, I got that, and I apologize. I was trying to be funny, but things didn't pan out like I wanted.

You're forgiven, Hydroman.

Now what have you learned from your naivety on the subject ?


On a more serious note:

Regarding your daughters, the only thing you can do is drill it into their heads that they can never trust the male gender under any circumstances in any situation no matter how much they think they know the person(s). Do not ever go anywhere alone, day or night, never go home with a man on a date, stay away from the bars and house parties, never wear anything other than a black bedsheet that covers them from head to toe... and apparently, according to one poster, never ever join the military.

From that point on, all you can do is cross your fingers and pray to your god(s) that your little girls never have to endure what some of the women on this thread have described.

.... Although there is one fact of life for them that you will have to accept: Each one of your daughters will at some point in their life (at least once) have to endure some form of sexual assault, molestation, unwanted physical sexual advances, etc (call it what you want). It's a 100% guaranteed fact of life for the female gender. So if you can, try to prepare them for those scenarios too.

It's an ugly ugly world out there.

Originally posted by Hydroman

Originally posted by gemdog
Wow. To those of you f'd up enough to say "wish some woman would rape me" and snicker, you are obviously clueless about how devastating ANY assault is, sexual or otherwise.

Yes, I got that, and I apologize. I was trying to be funny, but things didn't pan out like I wanted.

I understood your attempt at levity. While it might not have been of the greatest taste, it certainly didn't require a emotional knee-jerk condemnation.

This has gone far enough. Rape is bad. Rapists are bad. But, not all rapists are men. Not all victims are women. Not all men are rapists, and certainly not enough to rape 20% of the US population of women.

I wish a sensible and impartial mod would close this for the time being.

Originally posted by doryinaz
the system is run by men...:

Tell that to the infinite number of men who literally cringe with discomfort at the mere thought of a woman accusing us of doing something wrong to her. The system is not ran by men. Our entire society--including and certainly not limited to legal/criminal matters and the court system--caters to women. I, as well as many other men, know full well that a woman needs to only accuse a man of wrong-doing; that's all it takes to pretty well ruin his life. No one knows this better than women themselves.

Originally posted by primus2012
No, you can't assure that it's at least 20% and can't guarantee that each of us know victims and perpetrators. That is propaganda and sensationalism.

Obviously You haven't read the thread, Getreadyalready has stated that close to 100% of women(in his age group) he knows have been violated in some way, I have stated that I am guessing 85-90% of the women I know have been sexually assaulted. I can guarantee 50% from admission the other 35-40% have either went silent, got this far off look and stated no angrily or just got up and walked out of the room while saying "I don't want to talk about it." Only a handful have stated no with what I consider a mature and intelligent response to a question which leads me to believe the others may have not been comfortable talking about it.

Every woman responding to this thread has stated they have been raped/assaulted or someone in their immediate family has.

A handful of Men on here are stating this cannot be true because they as men have no first hand knowledge of it. (that is hilarious and a bit arrogant.)

Would any man tell ANYONE if they were raped? a very small handful might. But the majority of us wouldn't

If Your teenage daughter was supposedly staying at a friends and instead went to a concert with some guy and then he raped her on the way home would she tell You? most likely not unless there were visible bruises.

Do You really think women want to talk to men about being raped by other men? I don't. I know women that have been raped that didn't tell their own mothers or sisters what makes You think that you would be privy to this information.

I can almost guarantee 20% is a lowball number, I don't know a single person that doesn't know someone that has been raped and I would bet money that You know multiple women that have been raped, Just because You aren't aware of said rape doesn't mean she hasn't been raped.

Originally posted by unworldly

Originally posted by doryinaz
the system is run by men...:

Tell that to the infinite number of men who literally cringe with discomfort at the mere thought of a woman accusing us of doing something wrong to her. The system is not ran by men. Our entire society--including and certainly not limited to legal/criminal matters and the court system--caters to women. I, as well as many other men, know full well that a woman needs to only accuse a man of wrong-doing; that's all it takes to pretty well ruin his life. No one knows this better than women themselves.

Yeah, my mom is my dad's boss pretty much. Many guys do whatever they think will make their GF happy. Guys and women both have a lot of power in their own ways.

Originally posted by Hydroman

Originally posted by Furbs
The idea that this sentiment is coming from a member of the moderation team of this website sickens me.

What is wrong with what he said?

I have read enough of your posts in this thread to have a good idea that you do not have the tools needed to understand what is wrong with what he said, so I am going to save us both a lot of time and not engage you in this topic.

Originally posted by CREAM
Guys and women both have a lot of power in their own ways.

In regards to the sexes, men have one power--one tiny bit of authority that they can wield in their lives--and that is to exercise their right to be left alone. A man can choose solitude; and thus, choose not to put up with anyone else's garbage. Put another way, a man can leave a woman; he can walk out; this is the one and only area of control that he has. Reality is a cruel master.

reply to post by Furbs


Point taken.

reply to post by Billmeister

what kind of social environment creates this many people capable of such despicable violent acts on fellow human beings?

The kind that views ordinary people as slaves and serfs, rapes and pillages the planet for profit, sells sex with babies along with meat from endangered species. Need I continue?

reply to post by getreadyalready


I agree with you, im not nitpicking definitions. What im saying is, if someone feels violated, then they were violated. Ive been a victim, and a counselor. I understand. I was merely saying that when a rapist says "it didnt start out that way, but...", dont blame the victim.

reply to post by Hydroman


No hard feelings, happens to me all the time.


Ok, now maybe ThAt sounded even worse...