Nearly 20% of women in the US are raped, study reveals

Originally posted by GeorgiaGirl
I'm really troubled by all of the comments throughout the pages of this thread that either imply or go right out to say:

1: she deserved it because she dressed and acted like a slut

or

2: most girls make this type of stuff up



After I read what many posters have written, it helps me understand just HOW it is possible for 20% of women to make this claim. And apparently the men think she deserved it.

Wow. Just wow.

Those would be the very few among the many men who think that way. A couple bad apples do not spoil the bunch where this is concerned.

reply to post by Billmeister


Seems like a low number to me,,, girls molested or raped (difference?) by age 18 is supposed to be arround one in three...

Wow. To those of you f'd up enough to say "wish some woman would rape me" and snicker, you are obviously clueless about how devastating ANY assault is, sexual or otherwise. 20% is a conservative number. I was a behavioral counselor for many years, and I can assure you, its at least 20%, likely much higher. I can guarantee you know victims, and someone as close as a friend of a friend, as perpetrators.

This number makes no sense to me. Where are all of these scum bags? I wounder what percentage of guys commit rape which makes up this 20%? 10%? 5%?

Even 5% is an alarming number. Few things make me more angry than rape.

reply to post by CREAM


Where are the guys?

Have you ever convinced a woman to have sex with you when she might not have been all that into it from the start?

The art of seduction implies that we are manipulating a woman into doing what we want, not necessarily what they want.

It is a very gray scale between seduction and rape. Many times the woman goes along with something because it is easier than saying no, or because alcohol has influenced her decision, or because she really feels that you love her, and this is going somewhere.

I said in a much earlier post. Not all instances of "rape" deserve jail, but lying and cheating and plying a woman with alcohol only to duck out while she sleeps is a form of rape.

Some men carry it just a little further by actually holding her in place, maybe they think it is sexy, or they think she is enjoying it, but they have physically influenced the outcome. Other men might threaten to strand them, or threaten to spread rumors, or coerce in any number of emotional ways.

Some men might just see an unsuspecting party-goer and think they can sneak in and get away with something, and feel entitled and leave without a speck of guilt.

I think if we are honest with ourselves, most men have probably been guilty of some degree of this in the total scale. That is why it is so hard to report, prosecute, etc.

It becomes obvious at some point, but there are lots and lots of points between consensual and obvious rape. Even the women aren't so sure where that line can be drawn.

Only 20%?

Law and Order SVU gave me the impression that the number was more like 94%.

.. and TV doesn't lie.

Rape percentages are never correct as most do not get reported out of fear/shame/etc... I know several police officers and and they wish that more victims would come forward so they can catch the piece of scum who did it. I myself have been raped twice in my life time. once by two so called friends of a friend and then a few years later at a party by some rednecks on the football team. both times i told them no that i did not want sex and both times i was held down/restrained in some fashion and gagged in some way i walked away from both with no cuts/bruises etc.. i told NO ONE about either one only a few people and y'all on here know about them. its not something i particularly want to go around telling loved ones. i may have been able to put them in jail if i had reported it but they used condoms and.. as i wasn't bruised and bleeding.. i wouldn't have had much of a case ( they were rich i was poor)

reply to post by Billmeister


I was raped by my ex husband.....he got away with it at trial, because the jury just couldn't believe it....after 2 years with him in jail.....waiting for trial...then the trial, with a jury of his "peers"..(fans, actually...he was an athlete and one juror wore her Yankee t-shirt TO TRIAL)....my point is...the system is run by men...so, nobody gets it.....all these women who have been murdered by their ex-husbands have already run the restraining order route....worthless paper that only inflames theattackers....the whole system is hugely flawed and women suffer because of it...(what a surprise)

Gotta love that "blame the victim" mindset, some people wanna make me punch em square in the nose, then I could say "oh, they were asking for it."

No, you can't assure that it's at least 20% and can't guarantee that each of us know victims and perpetrators. That is propaganda and sensationalism.

reply to post by PsychoFaerie

I am sorry for you, Psycho Fairy.....but you saved yourself from being raped again by the judicial system....it would have been a "he-said, she-said", and all that happy horse#....and they'd have gotten away with it....no... you're better off, and safer, too, for holding it in.....God bless.

Originally posted by Hydroman

Originally posted by GeorgiaGirl

It seems to me that almost every woman who has posted here has been raped, or had some kind of traumatic experience. This is shocking to me. I have two daughters of my own, and I don't know what I will do if something like this happens to them.

Just look at all the replies on this thread alone, I haven't counted them up, but it seems many of the women, including myself, have been raped at some point in their lives, and still many are claiming the % in the OP is wrong.

I can also say, if something happens to one or both of your girls, they may NEVER tell you or anyone else. And if they do, they may shrug and blow it off pretending it wasn't "that big of a deal" while unfortunately believing that... if they hadn't worn that damn skirt etc. Why should we tell someone when we have to not only deal with the emotions of being assaulted by a rapist.... but then be verbally assaulted by the people who claim to care about us along with strangers blaming us? My rape was never reported. I was very young, I was under the age of 10 and I wonder how many other women he raped over the years.

I didn't tell anyone other than my husband for a very long time. Though my family knew as they walked in while it was happening, and they beat the freak half to death. Crazilly enough though, when I was in therapy years and years later trying to work through the situation, my therapist had me speak to my family about it as I wanted his name to file charges. My family called me a liar and told me to stop making up stories. Even AFTER they saw it with their own eyes and almost killed him. I don't get it. This denying that the criminal is to blame while blaming the victim and I never will.

I do admit that the whole rape debate is a very sensitive subject to me, and I feel sick that many seem to want to blame the wrong party. ie: the victim and not the criminal

More about the "if she hadn't worn the skirt" phrase, do any of you have any idea the number of times I've also heard..... if she hadn't worn those tight jeans..... so, what SHOULD women wear? Again, it's amazing to me how many men and some women want to claim that someone ELSE was in control of them, as if aliens or something took them over and they were not responsible for their actions. Do you people realize how crazy it sounds to say "she controlled him by.... insert whichever excuse you like the most..... so she is at fault for getting raped." Take control of your freaking selves and stop pretending that someone else is in control of YOU!

A victim is NOT responsible for a rapists actions..... the rapist is the one responsible for choosing to rape someone. A CRIMINAL is responsible for choosing to commit a CRIME!

A rapist CHOOSES to rape, PERIOD. A woman does not FORCE a man to rape no matter what she wears or how much she drinks or where she walks at what time nor if she is a slut or a tease. The one who rapes is the one who chooses to assault another person. Anything else is just pretending that we do not control ourselves but that "someone else" is in control of us.

Harm None
Peace