School Principal Abused My Son!

reply to post by aprilc1


As I stated, some kids really do need the meds, but not all. I blame TV for msot of the problems kids have nowadays. But, that's for another thread.

I'm wondering what would've happened had the kid passed out during recess and the topic of not eating came up. I'm sure this would be brought to the forefront and the school would be having to answer why they didn't make sure the kid was eating properly. With Michelle Obama pushing for healthier food in schools, teachers and administrators are under enough pressure to make sure the kids are getting properly nourished.

It's all a huge Catch 22. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

reply to post by krazykanuk


Sounds like your little snowflake and you need to toughen up. Ive seen real cases of abuse. This however, is not one. Just sounds like multiple people on power trips.

I had ADHD, (attention deficit hyperactive disorder) I grew out of it. I can completely sympathize with you and your son. When you described the fact that she made him eat all of his food I was a little perturbed, but when you then added that he is on medication for ADHD I wanted to drive up there and physically abuse that woman (metaphorically speaking of course).

I remember vividly how much these medications suppress your apatite, if I were ever to have to eat all of my food while on those meds I probably would have gotten sick. This absolutely infuriates me, I wish I could help you financially I really would pay for a good lawyer for you. Whatever you do don't give up, this woman needs to stop doing these kinds of things to children, you and your community entrusts your very children with this woman! She needs to be held accountable for her actions.

If this happened to my kid I would have driven up there with my son by my side and demanded an apology there in her office.

Make appointments with the highest official you can and read your OP word for word to him/her DO IT! Like that other poster mentioned you need to drive down there and make your self present and in their face else this will be swept under the rug.

You need to let them know your kid will NOT be abused no matter how small of an abuse it might appear to some people. Let your anger come out just enough to motivate you, anger can be a good thing if used correctly.

Did he really have to eat all of his food in front of the class? That pisses me off and its not even my kid. That principle is lucky that I don't live in your town and reading this today because she would be getting a phone call from me.

Wait thats a good idea maybe you could post her office number here? I see no harm in that sense it is public information. I would just love to politely ask this lady a few questions

Good luck and don't give up, remember all the actions you have taken are for a good reason and don't let yourself forget that, don't let your previous actions be in vein, you get that apology in writing and when you do post it here for all of us to see (if you want) that would be awesome.

-Alien

Originally posted by VonDoomen
reply to post by krazykanuk

 

Sounds like your little snowflake and you need to toughen up. Ive seen real cases of abuse. This however, is not one. Just sounds like multiple people on power trips.

Sounds like the principal needs to learn a little respect. I don't see anything wrong with the woman owning up to making a mistake and apologizing. She needs to swallow her pride, admit she made a mistake, apologize and assure the mother that it would not happen again and move on. That's it that's all that needs to be done. If this woman can't do a simple thing like that because of her pride getting in the way or whatever the reason then she needs to not be in the position that she is in.

The principal demands respect from those children I'm sure? Well you can not demand respect without giving it in return. The respectful thing to do would be to apologize. If the mother walks into that office with her son, politely explains the situation and asks for an apology then one should be given. In fact the need for an apology should be detected and given automatically by the principal.

I would not have done what this woman has, but if i did and the mother came to me and pointed out my mistake I damn sure would have apologized to her AND her son and assured them both that it would never happen again because I'm an adult and that's what any dignified adult would do and should do.

If this were MY kid I would NOT let this go until I had gotten an apology from that woman to me and my sons face. That woman has disrespected them both. She first disrespected the boy (mistakenly i might add) and then disrespected the boy further and at the same time the mother by not apologizing.

This may seem to some like over analyzing the situation or blowing it out of proportion but disrespect should never in my opinion go unaccounted for.

If anything you will teach your son a valuable lesson. That no matter what you will not and and he should not ever tolerate disrespect in these types of formal situations.

I mean there is going to be a time or two that you may be at a gas station and some punk says something smart to you while you are getting into your car. He might be standing next to three or four other punks, so the smart thing would probably be to just continue getting into your car and drive off.

But, in a formal situation like this disrespect does not need to be tolerated and indeed shouldn't be tolerated.


-Alien

reply to post by krazykanuk


I had the same problem with my son as you did, here in the US, in my case I never gave up, I fought the small town and their hoard of crappy teachers and county educationa system that didn't even rated a superintendent, in my case I had the means, even paid for psychological evaluation of my son by a well know doctor locally, at the end, the school was at fault and when I brought up the subject of getting a lawyer and getting the news media involved, everything was fixed, even a superintendent miraculously appear, appologies were in order

Still I agree with you, the psychological impact of verbal abuse my son had to endure in the crappy school change him forever, to the point that he refuse to attend public school and by the age of 17 got a GED because he would not attend school after the ordeal.

Never give up, this crappy educators needs a lesson.

reply to post by insanedr4gon

It seems as if you are in support of the schools raising her children rather than herself. Please enlighten me on what moral and legal ground the principal has to rumage about in the students lunch, or hold him back from playing with some friends (which I would think that the principal would encourage), or embarrass the child by forcing him to tell the rest of his classmates about his disability and medication.

I don't support the school raising the child however in this case they DO seemed to be concerned if the child eating or not. I have no idea why the principal wen through the child's lunch i was not there. Why would a child be embarrassed about having "addhd" when the class probably has 1/2 the kids there that are also diagnosed with it.

There is also the matter of the principal and other women calling her son a liar in the parking lot. She had no justification to judge her son like that. Simply because she wants things to be done differently and the way he wants does mean her acting like this is okay.

Yeah a conversation probably taken out of context,misunderstood, overheard by a child and then relayed to the OP. Ever play telephone?

My thought is to have your child and you discuss this situation with his psychiatrist and see if he can give you any advice on how to proceed. If he views that your child has been traumatized he may have some suggestions on how to deal with the situation.

You have a mother's heart and it breaks when something/someone injures your child.

Wishing you the best.

It seems to me that before you get the lawyers involved, you should be getting a doctor's professional written documentation on your son's condition and effects of the the medication. Those should be given to the school.

If you're in such a rural area, it's likely the people don't keep up with all the latest trends in medicine and child development etc, and need to be informed.

Seriously, demanding retribution and apologies when the school district thinks they're are actually helping is just making everyone defensive and getting their backs up and makes you, the newcomer, look like a crazy person.

reply to post by PrimalRed


How would the child know if half of the student body has ADHD when news like this is not made to public, not that i'm saying that it should. To him he is probably feeling ashamed or embarrassed because he thinks is the only one or one of the few to have ADHD in the school, with medication.
Why would a principal be worried about the child not eating? Didn't it used to be that you went to school and back, no mindless interruptions like power hungry principals checking to make sure you have food and shoving said food down your throat? If the child wasn't hungry, then don't make him eat. It is as simple as that. When he gets hungry, he will eat. Now because of this principals "worry," this single mother has to take time off from her job to homeschool her son so he is not taken away by CPS. How much money is being lost there?
I'll bite the bullet and say that you can be right about the conversation though.

I recommend everyone go back and reread the original post again. There are plenty of things that don't add up.

The Op stated that the teacher called and was worried that the kid wasn't eating and may have a psychological problem, yet the Op herself states that her child has ADHD and is handicapped because of it.
Wait... what? Who here truly is giving the kid any credit and is actually worried about his health and well-being?

Another question I have is how are kids sitting in class watching him eat when they're outside playing, too?
Can't be doing both. What kids were sitting there listening to the boy talk about his meds if they're outside?

Also, the Op stated that she's a single mother and working, yet has time to home school her son? She states that she wasn't able to work after the school threatened to call family services if she didn't return her son to school. So, getting threatened with family services prevented her from working, but not the home schooling?
Things aren't adding up here.

Not to mention, the Op believes that the teacher is a cow, the entire town is crappy, and believes that everyone is abusive.

Op, I don't know how old you are, but I'm in my mid thirties. Let me tell you what an abusive teacher is.
When I was in Kindergarten, I had to wear braces on my legs to keep their form after having reconstructive surgery on my ankles because I was born with birth defects. My mother refused to allow anyone to call me handicapped, so I wasn't in special classes. She wanted me to feel as normal as possible and be treated no differently than anyone else.

To make a long story short, the class had to do a worksheet. As the answers were being read, I realized mine were wrong and tried to change them. She saw me erasing and stomped over, grabbed the side of my head by the hair, and slammed my head on the table. Some of the kids even started to laugh.

I was so embarrassed! I went home that afternoon and couldn't even tell my mother what had happened that day. I sucked it up though and went back to school. The teacher never apologized either. You know what though? I have no mental scars from it and I believe that it has made me a stronger person. From here on out, nobody(!) puts their hands on me or anyone else if I can help it.

People have no idea how abusive teachers can actually be and making kids think they need special treatment is just as damaging. Suck it up. The employment world is much more brutal than school life. The worst bullies are adults and kids should learn early how to deal with them. Teach you child now that the world is a cold place and people will run you down in a heartbeat and offer you a smirk instead of an apology. Toughen up because the road just gets more rocky as you go along.

reply to post by krazykanuk


I wish you all the success in the world. Fear does terrible things to people. Imagine having to fear retribution by your kids' school staff! I tell you what, it was the other way around when my kids were in school. I never gave them one tiny inch of space with me and my kids. I may have caused some teachers to have to take an aspirin when they got home but I was not having any crap from them under any circumstances. And there was no playing around with the Superintendent either. I just told them straight to their faces what was what. Dunno how I got away with it. I guess I'm just that savage. lol Well, I guess being a foreigner sometimes has its benefits.

I found out some years later that the very people I told off so effectively previously were quite looked down upon by other teachers who knew of them. I wasn't alone, though I felt very much so then! Gather your strength around you and run with this. You may have more allies than you think. Maybe start with a letter to the editor of your local paper. Make some noise!

Thanks for the insights everyone. I will stick to my guns and try to fight in the manner suggested by some of you. This woman is a powertripper and many other kids in the school have had issues with her. (I found out all of this after the fact).

One kid with Aspbergers was verbally abused by her since kindy and then snapped last year. He threathened to kill the Principal. She expelled him and now he must travel almost 1.5 hour each way to the city where he is an "A" student now. The Principal put the school on permanent lockdown. The stories go on and on.

However, many parents are afraid to speak up and feel powerless as we are in a small community. (I feel like I have nothing to lose as I am the newb. and some people have ostracized us over this already). One parent even said that she feels sick every morning that she sends her kids on the bus.Other parents have told me that they have confronted her in the past and then got serious retribution (she called CPS on the parents).She comes from a powerful ranching family in the area.

My son will not be going back to that school with her there. I will continue to homeschool as the whole school system here is dyfunctional as displayed through their unresponsiveness in this matter. It makes them complicit in my opinion....

reply to post by aprilc1


It is quite common for a child with Aspergers to have difficulty tying shoe laces. I myself just went out and purchased shoes with velcro tabs; problem solved.

I've always had a problem with children diagnosed with both ASD & ADHD. Children with ASD sometimes lash out or act out (meltdown) due to frustration, sometimes lack of sleep (because they tend to wander late at nights) causing fatigue. All of them are also sensitive to allegies and tend to be intolerant to certain foods that do affect their sleep patterns and waking periods. Food intolerance & allegies has a major affect on their sensory processing causing behavioral problems that doctors misdiagnose or shall we say over-diagnose as ADHD. How the hell these so-called specialists get away with it is beyond me and they are feeding them medication they don't need for a misdiagnosis. I had to teach my son's specialist about the causes of these and what it does to an ASD child - with proof of test results in hand.

Hyper-sensitive = hyper-active !!!

The following I would strongly suggest getting your child tested (and also include a blood sample C-Peptide test & IgG ELISA test):

www.imupro.com.au...

www.eastvalleynd.com...

Among the most common test results for these kids is most of them will have allegies to any number of these things: casein, wheat (gluten), honey, nuts, pollen, mites, wool, etc.

I hope this helps. The tests are a must for any child with ASD and also those diagnosed with ADHD/ADD.

Thanks again everyone for their advice;
With respect to the ADHD. I don't want to get into a discussion about that...irrelevant in this case. Besides, I used to be one of the parents totally against meds. However, my son was so uncontrollable, distractable, fidgety and could not learn that he was 2 grades behind until he was put on meds. He was tested for everything,on every special diet and every behaviour mod. to thinks of. Nothing else has worked. I was not about to sacrifice my kid's future because of my unfounded perception that all meds. are bad. I am glad I put him on meds.

Now, regardless of his situation, the Principal had not right to do this. If she was so concerned, she could have contacted me first. Instead she called him a liar and made the teacher call after the fact. Then after the teacher called she was still needling him to eat. Denying healthy excercise and the one thing my son enjoys and excels at to get him to eat? Rubbish!

Also, she told him that he would get sick if he did not eat. He is super healthy, slim, trim and average weight/height for his age... Look at all the obesity and eating disorders these days....hmmmm...wonder how many of those were forced to eat !

Was at the Ped. shortly after this incident and he agreed with me. He sent a letter directly to the SD and the Principal stating my son's condition and that he should not be forced to eat and he should not be denied playtime because of it.

Lawyer said that I had a good case and I would likely win....too expensive and would be stressful for us...I declined. Thinking to pursue in small claims as I can do it on my own.

reply to post by krazykanuk


Thats all very well but if your child has behaviour issues, you've been advised what to do from a parent that knows because I've been down your road not once but twice. If you have'nt or won't spend alittle money to get your child/ren tested for their sake, the next best thing is put them on a low GI diet - which is what we all should be on. I don't think people realise the long term damage of some foods - but they'll find out by the time they reach their late 40's when they find out they have heart disease and/or type 2 diabetes. The two biggest killers today among adults.

All ADHD/ADD children on medication do tend to loose alot of weight, DO loose their appetite and sleep less than kids not on medication. I have a feeling your school principal also noticed the weight loss and was doing what they thought best and they were correct. All schools should make the kids sit in the first 15 minutes of lunch by actually eating their lunch before play. Teachers should also take their lollies off them found in their lunch boxes and gave it back to them at the end of the day. My children's schools did this and none of us parents were complaining in the slightest.