Over 50, Emotionally Scared for Life ?

Originally posted by Annee
The only drama here is man's insecurity.

Wow! Is that what you really think?

If the woman in this story is so secure why has she been thinking "marriage" which is quite a "biggie" when all that has been mentioned is dinner?

She has been doing too much presumtious thinking from a deluded point of view imo.

Originally posted by brokedown

My intuition has alerted me to an underlining issue and every time I ignore that six sense it turns out badly.

Well, in her defense, maybe she has a sixth sense too, and was having second thoughts about
you as well

Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by schuyler
Just my opinion, but skip the drama. Your intuition has already told you something is wrong here. You did everything right in your approach. It was a mature and reasonable response on your part. But her response was insulting at best. She's jerking you around. Unless you want to spend the time with this drama queen, skip it. It's not worth it.

The only drama here is man's insecurity.

Stop assuming. Find out.

Nonsense. Dump her before this gets started. If she's already laying down conditions it's going to turn into the relationship from hell. It's not worth it. I'm not assuming anything. He has all the data he needs.

Originally posted by brokedown
My intuition has alerted me to an underlining issue and every time I ignore that six sense it turns out badly.

Typical male.

ME ME ME - - its all about ME

Not willing to take a risk on something that might turn out wonderful - - because of an assumption - - and because YOU could get hurt in the process.

The lady's gut instinct is correct.

Originally posted by schuyler

Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by schuyler
Just my opinion, but skip the drama. Your intuition has already told you something is wrong here. You did everything right in your approach. It was a mature and reasonable response on your part. But her response was insulting at best. She's jerking you around. Unless you want to spend the time with this drama queen, skip it. It's not worth it.

The only drama here is man's insecurity.

Stop assuming. Find out.

Nonsense. Dump her before this gets started. If she's already laying down conditions it's going to turn into the relationship from hell. It's not worth it. I'm not assuming anything. He has all the data he needs.

Dude.

She dumped him first. She only reconsidered because her friend pushed her.

What childish male behavior.

reply to post by brokedown


Women are crazy I would think at your age you would notice this already.

I am pretty sure females are all the same no matter the age, the whole mature thing is a lie and myth...So no doubt she "your dinner date" is going trough all kinds of scenarios and machinations in her head about all kinds of stupid things. And no doubt she is assuming on a lot of things and no doubt they are all wrong , because as we know females really suck at assuming anything correctly. And there deductive skills are just awful.

Basically you got your answer in a round about way and that was NO...Whatever the reasons and all other things do not matter.

But as we know, NO actually means YES in female speak in certain situations. So sounds like what we have here is a form ego bantering, bruising and probing of responses, and that form of control check that females do....If she like hugged and kissed you and stuff that is even more confusing. So no doubt she is like totally wanting you to like chase her or something...Basically think of it like this...She is a nut and every nut wants to be cracked.

First what you need to understand is that everybody is crazy, the people who think they are sane more so then the any others. Believe me I am perfectly sane so I know about such things. And she no doubt has baggage, and I seriously doubt that sex is not on her mind, I am pretty sure females were designed to have sex on there minds pretty much like almost all the time. And so she is lying or trying to project her fears and shortcoming on to you....Which by all my accounts and calculations is a pretty normal thing to do.

I would normally say forget about her to much work, and get a dog and play some video-games, but you probably already have a dog already and old people suck at videogames....And so in that case and for the sake of my curiosity....I think you should at least see what happens if you do call her back. What you need to do is call her and see if she does want to go on a date, "or whatever it is kids do now a days". And then see what happens.

And when you got her hook line and sinker...Ask her how her sammich making skills are. Or wait! better yet ask her before hand, is she sucks at making sammiches then I would say run as fast as you can and don't look back.

reply to post by brokedown


Gee wizz... it is already getting complicated and you haven't had a second date?

And who needs that kind of thing in their lives?

If it doesn't flow along in a simple easy way then don't bother...go out and meet someone else!

That kind of thing annoys me... and I don't think it is just an age thing.

Avoid complicated people, they will do your head in!!

Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by schuyler

Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by schuyler
Just my opinion, but skip the drama. Your intuition has already told you something is wrong here. You did everything right in your approach. It was a mature and reasonable response on your part. But her response was insulting at best. She's jerking you around. Unless you want to spend the time with this drama queen, skip it. It's not worth it.

The only drama here is man's insecurity.

Stop assuming. Find out.

Nonsense. Dump her before this gets started. If she's already laying down conditions it's going to turn into the relationship from hell. It's not worth it. I'm not assuming anything. He has all the data he needs.

Dude.

She dumped him first. She only reconsidered because her friend pushed her.

What childish male behavior.

edit on 28-11-2011 by Annee because: (no reason given)

After kissing him and leading him on. Typical childish female behavior. "Let's see how many times I can jack this guy around before he quits! What fun! I see OP has taken my advice, not yours. Problem solved. Hey, why don't you go out with her? The world would be a better place!

reply to post by nerbot

If the woman in this story is so secure why has she been thinking "marriage" which is quite a "biggie" when all that has been mentioned is dinner? She has been doing too much presumtious thinking from a deluded point of view imo.

I agree with that statement..but for some reason I think much of this has to do with the "conversation" this woman had with his cousin..

Could his cousin have implied that he was looking for a mate.. or that he said something offhand like.. "boy..thats a woman I could think about marrying"..or something to the effect of how impressed he was with her.

I really think too much information was exchanged perhaps between the woman and the cousin.. could be wrong.. but..its unfortunate she just didn't go on a date.. and tell him to his face in a nice that she wasn't interested in a long term relationship if she felt that's what he was looking for.

Its hard to figure these things out...when you only get third party info.. and I'm not sure the Op was filled in on all the details of the conversation between his cousin and her friend.

Originally posted by schuyler

Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by schuyler

Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by schuyler
Just my opinion, but skip the drama. Your intuition has already told you something is wrong here. You did everything right in your approach. It was a mature and reasonable response on your part. But her response was insulting at best. She's jerking you around. Unless you want to spend the time with this drama queen, skip it. It's not worth it.

The only drama here is man's insecurity.

Stop assuming. Find out.

Nonsense. Dump her before this gets started. If she's already laying down conditions it's going to turn into the relationship from hell. It's not worth it. I'm not assuming anything. He has all the data he needs.

Dude.

She dumped him first. She only reconsidered because her friend pushed her.

What childish male behavior.

edit on 28-11-2011 by Annee because: (no reason given)

After kissing him and leading him on. Typical childish female behavior. "Let's see how many times I can jack this guy around before he quits! What fun! I see OP has taken my advice, not yours. Problem solved. Hey, why don't you go out with her? The world would be a better place!

What?

Out of the mouth of an insecure male.

What kind of man completely shoots down a possible wonderful companion - - who he was previously enamored with - - because of a few words exchanged between this woman and a third party.

The woman was right to have a gut feeling about this loser.

The OP is not taking any responsibility for something he may have said - done - implied - - that this woman "may" have responded as his cousin reported.

He immediately assumes and places blame on the woman.

Then severs any possibility of finding out why.

He seems to think its OK for him to have a gut reaction - - - but not the woman.

Originally posted by Schkeptick
As a woman, (in general) I think it's a bad idea to generalize about all women based on a few bad experiences.

Most every woman would say that or something similar, but when all the experiences I've had with women point to a commonality... and all the experiences of various other men I know point to a commonality... and even the experiences of guys I don't know--such as the OP of this thread--point to a commonality... then it's probably safe to say that it applies to all women.

I have found that women are perfectly normal--more or less--as long as the interaction has a business-like, non-personal tone... but in any personable context, women tend to go a bit insane; they can't function.

Originally posted by unworldly

I have found that women are perfectly normal--more or less--as long as the interaction has a business-like, non-personal tone... but in any personable context, women tend to go a bit insane; they can't function.

And men are perfectly normal -- more or less-- until their penises get in the way of their rational thought.. which is about every 6 minutes. That's why you see so many men ruin their families, their careers and their reputations - all for a little meaningless temporary pleasure. Talk about insane.

reply to post by kaylaluv


I've never cheated on anyone I've been with. Your argument is random and baseless and applies to a small percentage of both genders in equal measure.

reply to post by unworldly


That's funny - that's exactly the point I was making about YOUR argument.

reply to post by kaylaluv


Again, you argument is baseless, because only a small percentage of people cheat. *Every* woman, however, develops serious personality quirks when beginning a new friendship and/or relationship with a man. It's a fact. Even women know it and admit it--at least the ones who don't want to pout like spoiled brats because someone isn't acting as if they can do no wrong.

Originally posted by Annee
The OP is not taking any responsibility for something he may have said - done - implied - - that this woman "may" have responded as his cousin reported.

He immediately assumes and places blame on the woman.

Then severs any possibility of finding out why.

He seems to think its OK for him to have a gut reaction - - - but not the woman.

We have no control over thoughts of others, only our own.
You seem very quick to pass the blame on 'childish males'. and you seem very militant in your overall viewpoints an opinions.

I have been described as a nice guy, i speak honestly and from the heart. I don't try to manipulate a relationship for sex which is probably why i've gone for over a year without any.

The guys i know that have sex the most are the bastards. The guys i know who get the most women and are never alone are always the bastards, the liars, the cheats.

This makes me think that women don't appreciate an honest guy, or maybe opinions such as your own only serve to jade them against anyone who appears to be honest, leaving them thinking that this person is particulary skilled at being a liar.

I think that if this is your honest opinion of men then your attracted to the wrong kind of men and let's face it: That's your issue.

Please stop spreading your dark viewpoints on men, i have already had one relationship destroyed by the trolling of her friends and it hurt badly.

Yes men like sex, it's incredible and one of the best ways a man can express how he feels about a woman.
Is it a crime for a man to be physically attracted to a woman? isn't that the most basic of human impulses.
And who wants to be alone? I know i certainly don't.

Funny that we all often over-think something that is basic and primal. Animals don't have these issues so why do we?

Try going out with one of those 'nice guys' (or girls, whatever floats your boat) that i'm guessing you avoid, because there is more to us 'horrible' men then what you make out.

I feel insulted! saddled with the issues of guys that i am not. It's bad enough that i'm alone, it's bad enough that i get my heart broken because i leave it open with women in an honest attempt to build a healthy, lasting relationship. But to have to hear this kind of nay-saying just makes me feel that there is no hope.

Not everyone is as f*$#ed up and cold as you think.

reply to post by unworldly


Your argument is baseless because you can't provide any real source data to back up your claim, other than your personal experiences. I, on the other hand, can list at least 20 well-known men off the top of my head who are known adulterers. If I tried a little harder, I could probably come up with another 20 more.

How many well-known women can you list who developed a "personality quirk" due to a new relationship?

reply to post by kaylaluv


If you seriously wish to discuss this at length, then ATS isn't the place. U2U me your phone number, and I'll be happy to indulge you in a real conversation.

reply to post by Raivan31


I know not all guys are bad. I happen to be married to a really nice guy. Not all women are crazy, either. You will someday meet a really nice girl who won't develop any weird "personality quirks" upon starting a relationship with you, and who will appreciate you for who you are. It happens all the time, and it can happen to you