Would you date/marry somebody with a kid(s)

double post, sorry

I would if it was someone that I established personal connections and she was a good person why not? Theres nothing wrong with dating someone with kids.

Originally posted by ReadyPower
the problem is she had 2 kids, with 2 dads..

How beta are you exactly?

Two kids with two different dads. Yeah, stop seeing her.

She has 2 kids with 2 different dads. I hope you're not looking for a long-term relationship.

Dear OP,
1. Stop
2. Drop
3. Roll
But you say "these are the same advice someone would give me if I were on fire".
I would say "correct".
Now treat this relationship as if it were a building on fire, GET OUT QUICK!
The longer you stay, the more damage is done not only to you and your senses, the less chance the woman has to find the next baby daddy, maybe someone who can handle all of the tremendous baggage she is carrying.
Some women are innocent idiots of a bad relationship and others are professional baby momma types, they hook as much as they can to keep a check coming.
Avoid alot of trouble and find a fresh piece of paper on which to draw your picture.

Originally posted by claireaudient
Only if you're willing to deal with the asinine immaturity.

Age does not bely maturity. I have met women in their 40's who are as immature as any 20 year old i have ever met and my sister is one of them. If a man isn't mature by the time he is 19 he never will be (in most cases)because men peak at 19. Women usually mature at a much faster rate but i think it's safe to say if neither man nor woman is mature by the time they hit 24 they never will be and this comes from personal experience.

Originally posted by g146541
Dear OP,
1. Stop
2. Drop
3. Roll
But you say "these are the same advice someone would give me if I were on fire".
I would say "correct".
Now treat this relationship as if it were a building on fire, GET OUT QUICK!
The longer you stay, the more damage is done not only to you and your senses, the less chance the woman has to find the next baby daddy, maybe someone who can handle all of the tremendous baggage she is carrying.
Some women are innocent idiots of a bad relationship and others are professional baby momma types, they hook as much as they can to keep a check coming.
Avoid alot of trouble and find a fresh piece of paper on which to draw your picture.

You sound like a fortune cookie.

I only read a bit of the first pages responses before posting, so if I say something that is repetitive, forgive me.

I'm a relatively young, single father and I'm actually at the cross roads as to whether or not I want to date a single mother, but that is a completely different ball park. What I have to say is; If you can love this woman knowing full well that you will always come second in her life to her children (if she is really a good mother) and if you can provide a somewhat indirect positive role to these children in the long run (not father like that isn't expected) then go for it.

Couple key points:
Don't ever criticize her parenting, bad idea....
She could be crazy, maybe that is why she isn't with the fathers. I'm not with the mother of my child because she is off the wall insane, literally.

Peace

Totally depends on if said woman had a caesarean section or not.
No fun in throwing a hotdog down a hallway.

(before you flame me, I'm totally kidding)

ETA
Kind of....

Originally posted by lonewolf19792000

Originally posted by claireaudient
Only if you're willing to deal with the asinine immaturity.

Age does not bely maturity. I have met women in their 40's who are as immature as any 20 year old i have ever met and my sister is one of them. If a man isn't mature by the time he is 19 he never will be (in most cases)because men peak at 19. Women usually mature at a much faster rate but i think it's safe to say if neither man nor woman is mature by the time they hit 24 they never will be and this comes from personal experience.

Actually the brain does not stop growth and development until age 24. I don't know anybody that really knew who in the heck they even were before 30. Men are rarely "mature" by 19. Men peak at all kinds of ages - depends on the man . . . geesh!

Oh and 2 kids by 2 daddies - and all staying over at your place. . . this is an unfortunate situation.
You may be upstanding - but think of all the people/things she will expose those kids too in her search for Love and affection. Very sad. For her - she now has established a certain life for herself - at a young age, and those babies who dont' have a choice.

ALL of this can wait till after 30 for both sexes - meaning the family way.
Get an education and get a job . . . then . . . start a family.
Opps, I am showing my old age aren't I?

reply to post by ReadyPower


Depending on the persons background, yeah I would. The thing is when it comes to kids, you either must accept them with the relationship or not go there at all. If you like package deals, they are the girls for you, if not, do not put yourself through the pain.

only if i had kids

reply to post by biggmoneyme


Having children would make it easier and I guess two people with children would have a lot more in common as well (experience with parenting etc.) It simply comes down to if you are not ready to take on the responsibility, Don't. You are only going to hurt yourself, the kids and the other person in the relationship. In this case though I would be looking at her background and trying to work out if the gig is worth it. Did she sleep around, just have a bit of bad luck, her ex's are just pricks, who knows. Sometimes you can just tell by how the kids act, it's amazing.

Sure I would.

I have a son with another person and I met a girl that I thought would have had a problem with it.

Thankfully she did not have a problem at all, and we have been married for 4 years now and have two children of our own.

Having a child does not define someone as being a bad person.

Follow your gut if things feel 'weird' for you.

One basic law regarding a partner with kids, especially a female with childrent and she is a decent mother and certainly, you wouldn't want anything less in that department would you?

The absolute law: The kid(s) come(s) first.
(That means you are always somewhere lower down on the list for attention. If you can't live with that reality. never get involved with a woman (or man) with kids.)
:

Definitely a tricky one.
Some more background on this Lady is needed to make any sort of logical call.

In your situation, I would hate to fall in love - have another child and then find that she has post-natal depression; only to leave me, take the child/children that I also love and move on to potential Daddy #4!

Maybe if you can remove emotion from your dilemma and do some research on the cause of the previous two bust up's ( don't just take her word ).
Even talk to the 'exes' or mutual friends ( subtelty is paramount here ) if at all practical.

Children need stability and routine in their lives as well as unconditional love. So consider them in your decision.

If you love her and she loves you, with the reasons for having two Kids to two Dads being acceptable to your non-emotional research ...

Go for it! Love will conquer all! ( if you both work at it ) I hope it works out for you.
Cheers.

Originally posted by LittleBirdSaid

Originally posted by lonewolf19792000

Originally posted by claireaudient
Only if you're willing to deal with the asinine immaturity.

Age does not bely maturity. I have met women in their 40's who are as immature as any 20 year old i have ever met and my sister is one of them. If a man isn't mature by the time he is 19 he never will be (in most cases)because men peak at 19. Women usually mature at a much faster rate but i think it's safe to say if neither man nor woman is mature by the time they hit 24 they never will be and this comes from personal experience.

Actually the brain does not stop growth and development until age 24. I don't know anybody that really knew who in the heck they even were before 30. Men are rarely "mature" by 19. Men peak at all kinds of ages - depends on the man . . . geesh!

Oh and 2 kids by 2 daddies - and all staying over at your place. . . this is an unfortunate situation.
You may be upstanding - but think of all the people/things she will expose those kids too in her search for Love and affection. Very sad. For her - she now has established a certain life for herself - at a young age, and those babies who dont' have a choice.

ALL of this can wait till after 30 for both sexes - meaning the family way.
Get an education and get a job . . . then . . . start a family.
Opps, I am showing my old age aren't I?

edit on 13-11-2011 by LittleBirdSaid because: (no reason given)

Youre preaching to the wrong person. I am 32 and married and own my own house and still dont have any kids. I chose not to do things the backwards way. Get my ducks in a row first before i start having kids thatway they don't suffer for my mistakes.

If you feel the need to ask the question.

NO.

Originally posted by lonewolf19792000
Youre preaching to the wrong person. I am 32 and married and own my own house and still dont have any kids. I chose not to do things the backwards way. Get my ducks in a row first before i start having kids thatway they don't suffer for my mistakes.

Let's hope none (or several) of your ducks don't decide to take a detour.

"Best Laid Plans"

I know them well.

Soon to be three kids with three dads?

You don;t see it yet?