I need advice guys ),:(getting over an ex)

I still cant get over my ex , he was my first on everything 、its been 8months and ,
I still feel like i love him ): he left me due to distance and other stuff . I just feel so depressed im hardly happy cause of him . I keep having dreams about him , i have had over 5 depression break downs ,and i feel like im gonna have another one. I dont know who to talk to about this with , i dont trust any of my friends,and i dont wanna tell any of my family members for advice . When he left me i was gonna commit suicide but something stopped me, i dint wanna make my mom suffer, i still think about dying.

the only way to get over someone is to get involved with someone else as a friend or more. Personally im a guy. I go get some strange and before i know it im over it. I dont know if girls like to do that lol. if they do. well then do that lol.
but, in all honesty. meet someone new spark up a new friendship. do something different and start something new taht he was never a part of. and u will start to distance yourself from the memory of him.

I cant say the same. Rebounds usually end up bad. Find yourself a hobby that makes you happy. Try getting in with a good crowd, bowling buddies, hockey game friends, whatever you are into~ I had the same problem with my ex.( im a guy ) We had a child together and things just fell apart. It takes alot of time but you have to stay positive and keep your eyes open for something better. Don't settle for less than you deserve. Take it one day at a time and things will get better. I went on anti depressants and am still on them. There is nothing wrong with it, it takes the edge off when times get hard. Theres always hope.

reply to post by lostangel818


Dearest lostangel818,

Life is hard, it is a test of who we choose to be, it is as hard as we can take it. Take as much as you can and prove yourself to yourself. What are you capable of? Be you. My wife of 24 years left me for another man, in the last two weeks my childhood sweetheart died. What advice would you give me, take the same advice or do think I should die and cannot have better? If I can have better than so can you. You matter, please think of what you can do to help others rather than the pain you have suffered. You can create greatness for someone. If it is merely one person whose life you can make better, is it worth sticking around? Not what you get but what you are capable of giving Be that person and be well.

Yeah rebounds dont do the trick , ive been in some relationships after him,and i still thought about him . I guess i should take up on a new hobby , thanks for the advice.

reply to post by lostangel818


I got divorced years ago.


I have had several ( not a lot) girlfriends since.

Believe me, even just two nights ago I dreamed of my ex-wife (and I asked 4 the divorce) it doesn't go away.
Because that persons' traits are incorporated into yr dreams....they are a part of you now.


you will never truly forget them

Yeah rebounds are the same as drinking or doing drugs, its just a temporary relief that you later feel stupid (or itchy) about.

Definitely go for a hobby. I suggest Boxing, it will help you with depression and anger while getting you in shape and meeting people and the boxing club.

Originally posted by AQuestion
reply to post by lostangel818

 

Dearest lostangel818,

Life is hard, it is a test of who we choose to be, it is as hard as we can take it. Take as much as you can and prove yourself to yourself. What are you capable of? Be you. My wife of 24 years left me for another man, in the last two weeks my childhood sweetheart died. What advice would you give me, take the same advice or do think I should die and cannot have better? If I can have better than so can you. You matter, please think of what you can do to help others rather than the pain you have suffered. You can create greatness for someone. If it is merely one person whose life you can make better, is it worth sticking around? Not what you get but what you are capable of giving Be that person and be well.

Im sorry about your loss , i cant imagine going through something like that. I havent really thought about helping others , i will try to help others , thanks for replying.

reply to post by Chamberf=6


Youre right , i will never forget him ,but i hope at least the pain does in time .

Originally posted by Fishticon84
Yeah rebounds are the same as drinking or doing drugs, its just a temporary relief that you later feel stupid (or itchy) about.

Definitely go for a hobby. I suggest Boxing, it will help you with depression and anger while getting you in shape and meeting people and the boxing club.

what helps me a bit is playing cod XD That somewhat helps me with depression and anger issues . I wish i had a true friend that would help me get trough this.

Have a meaningless and torrid online affair. I always felt better after a break up once I finally had a connection with someone else. The opposite of depression is laughter, so find things that make you laugh.

Originally posted by CaptainKostr
Have a meaningless and torrid online affair with someone. I always felt better after a break up once I finally had a connection with someone else.

just use this magic spell anytime u get randy:

"c r a i g s l i s t d o t c o m "

Originally posted by lostangel818

Originally posted by Fishticon84
Yeah rebounds are the same as drinking or doing drugs, its just a temporary relief that you later feel stupid (or itchy) about.

Definitely go for a hobby. I suggest Boxing, it will help you with depression and anger while getting you in shape and meeting people and the boxing club.

what helps me a bit is playing cod XD That somewhat helps me with depression and anger issues . I wish i had a true friend that would help me get trough this.

edit on 11-11-2011 by lostangel818 because: (no reason given)

Computer games can be helpful to, especially war ones (I play Urban Terror)
But there's the whole problem of not socializing.
That's something I know ALLLL about. When I broke up with my first serious GF in like 2001 or 02 I guess, I went into a serious state of depression.
I actually boarded up my windows and spent 90% of my time in my room playing original XBOX. I abandoned my real friends for the XBOX LIVE friends.
I did that for almost 3 years!

reply to post by lostangel818

I still remember how I got dumped the first time in my life... its just something you'll never forget.
Like Cat Stevens said: the first cut is the deepest.

I followed all the advice my friends gave me back then but nothing worked, until I had spend so much time trying to get over "her" that eventually time itself did the trick.

To get over your first love might seem impossible for you now, but you will.
In the meantime, try to find something that keeps you busy.

ETA:
Sport is the best anti-depressant there is, increases your general well being, helps you to feel healthy, attractive and balanced.

Most Countries have free 24 hour hotlines that you can call to get some free counselling, and they offer a really nice and compassionate ear.

For instance, here in Australia we have Lifeline and The Salvation Army, just to name a few.

Crisis lines are very helpful to people with the exact problem that you seem to be facing.

They can offer you some very timely advice, as well as the opportunity to open yourself up.


Not only that, but they're anonymous.


Just google '24 hour crisis hotline' or the like, and I'm sure you'll find something you need.



Hope this helped.

Originally posted by Fishticon84

Originally posted by lostangel818

Originally posted by Fishticon84
Yeah rebounds are the same as drinking or doing drugs, its just a temporary relief that you later feel stupid (or itchy) about.

Definitely go for a hobby. I suggest Boxing, it will help you with depression and anger while getting you in shape and meeting people and the boxing club.

what helps me a bit is playing cod XD That somewhat helps me with depression and anger issues . I wish i had a true friend that would help me get trough this.

edit on 11-11-2011 by lostangel818 because: (no reason given)

Computer games can be helpful to, especially war ones (I play Urban Terror)
But there's the whole problem of not socializing.
That's something I know ALLLL about. When I broke up with my first serious GF in like 2001 or 02 I guess, I went into a serious state of depression.
I actually boarded up my windows and spent 90% of my time in my room playing original XBOX. I abandoned my real friends for the XBOX LIVE friends.
I did that for almost 3 years!

oh man , trust me in on that stage , well i do go out to places with my family and spend time with my brother,his gf and my sister , we all like to play mw3 , if it wasnt for them i,d be even more miserable , its still not enough socializing though , i need to go out there in the real world ,but im scared , ive been anti social for the longest /: i have one friend and i feel like she's not a good friend .

reply to post by ColCurious



I will not forget it either , that quote is so true, you should have seen me i was in bed for days just crying depressed as hell , it was the worst experience in my life to be honest . 
At times i feel like im forgetting him,but all those feelings i have for him come back .  I hope time passes by quick then i just wish i was happy again . I'll try out a sport , i like tennis (: 

reply to post by Unrealised


Thank you , i think im gonna have to give a call i dont wanna have another depression break down ./:

I suggest that you not ignore your pain. You have to go through it and feel the feelings. What helps me get over those type of hurt feelings is music. Listening to some good old love songs that you really relate too.

Knowing that other people have gone through and are going through what you are feeling helps. Schedule an hour out of each day to think about your feelings. Use the mistakes that you feel you made to learn and grow. Use the mistakes that your ex made as a basis for knowing what you don't want in the future.

Make sure you schedule 2 hours of fun time. Do hobbies, watch your favorite shows, read stuff on ATS ...etc It is important to laugh. Take each day one at a time. Getting over a loved one can be like an addiction almost.

Slowly over time you will need less time to be sad and more time to be happy and move forward with your life. If you want someone to talk to ATS is a great place and it's safe. You can express yourself and your feelings without being judged.

I know how it feels. I have been going through a separation with my girlfriend. We had been together nearly 10 years. Sometimes it feels like I don't want to go on without her. Other days I'm glad to just be alive. Hang in there and do your best. Follow your heart t..where ever it leads you..that's the best advice I can give you.

Without knowing more specific details of your relationship and the circumstances of the break up. It would be hard to give any more advice that might help you choose which direction to take with your ex.

Good luck, I hope this helps some and you feel better soon

Originally posted by lostangel818

Originally posted by Fishticon84

Originally posted by lostangel818

Originally posted by Fishticon84
Yeah rebounds are the same as drinking or doing drugs, its just a temporary relief that you later feel stupid (or itchy) about.

Definitely go for a hobby. I suggest Boxing, it will help you with depression and anger while getting you in shape and meeting people and the boxing club.

what helps me a bit is playing cod XD That somewhat helps me with depression and anger issues . I wish i had a true friend that would help me get trough this.

edit on 11-11-2011 by lostangel818 because: (no reason given)

Computer games can be helpful to, especially war ones (I play Urban Terror)
But there's the whole problem of not socializing.
That's something I know ALLLL about. When I broke up with my first serious GF in like 2001 or 02 I guess, I went into a serious state of depression.
I actually boarded up my windows and spent 90% of my time in my room playing original XBOX. I abandoned my real friends for the XBOX LIVE friends.
I did that for almost 3 years!

oh man , trust me in on that stage , well i do go out to places with my family and spend time with my brother,his gf and my sister , we all like to play mw3 , if it wasnt for them i,d be even more miserable , its still not enough socializing though , i need to go out there in the real world ,but im scared , ive been anti social for the longest /: i have one friend and i feel like she's not a good friend .

Well at least you're playing games with people. Just dont start any of those MMORPGs or you'll be screwed.
There was no games like that back then (or i couldn't afford a good PC) but eventually I got Animal Crossing and thats when I became really messed up. lol it sounds so stupid now.

One day my friend (who I also thought was not to good of a friend) came to my house, my mom let him in and up to my room. He kicked over my GC, pulled the disc out, snapped it in half and said "get dressed, you're going the @#$% out and we're gonna have a great time".
And we did, and then from there on out it was all good... well ok not all good all the time lol, but it was better than my life of driving pretend cars, killing pretend aliens, and chatting with my pretend GF who was a cat! a cat in a game! omg how sad was that lol.

So yeah, you just need your friend to take you out or find another friend to take you out.