The Facepalm Award. Entries.

Hi kids! Uncle beezzer here. Read this story and immediately thought of a new award system.
The Facepalm Awards. Idiotic stories that deserve the facepalm (a term commonly used here)

Mods, if it doesn't belong here, then move away!

My first entry. . . .

SAN DIEGO — A federal court is being asked to grant constitutional
rights to five killer whales who perform at marine parks — an
unprecedented and perhaps quixotic legal action that is nonetheless
likely to stoke an ongoing, intense debate at America’s law schools
over expansion of animal rights.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is accusing the SeaWorld
parks of keeping five star-performer whales in conditions that violate
the 13th Amendment ban on slavery.

iowntheworld.com...

Really? Slavery?



I guess this could also be considered "people with waaaaay too much time on their hands.




What do you fine folks say? Any other takers?

I thought this situation had already been discussed ad nauseum.

Frankly, I'd rather spend the day with some whales than some of the people I've come across.
Humans are so concerned with being entertained, it's disgusting, cruel, and abusive.

Originally posted by Afterthought
I thought this situation had already been discussed ad nauseum.

Frankly, I'd rather spend the day with some whales than some of the people I've come across.
Humans are so concerned with being entertained, it's disgusting, cruel, and abusive.

Wouldn't it be ironic if we finally learned to communicate with whales and all they wanted to talk about was Seinfeld episodes?

reply to post by beezzer


Animals do communicate, but most people are too dense to understand what they're saying.

If whales talked about Seinfeld, I believe it would be because humans are less intelligent and they're making fun of us.

reply to post by Afterthought
So you're of the opinion that whales deserve civil rights?



Ummm, okay.

I like this story. The attorney General doesn't even know what's going on, along with Obama and Janet.

Eric Holder Denies Prior Knowledge Of ‘Fast And Furious’Fast and Furious

Oh, yeah. Eric Holder just publicly denied any prior knowledge of Project Gunrunner (aka ‘Fast and Furious’) even though he bragged about it after Obama approved and signed the stimulus funding for its operations back in 2009.

reply to post by beezzer


Just as much as human (fill in the blank) slaves do, yes.

I don't have a problem with animals being confined for a brief amount of time for educational purposes or to increase their population. I used to do avian wildlife rehab and the things I've seen people do to animals that have brought so much harm to them that they are forced to live in captivity for the remainder of their lives would rip your heart out.

Think of the elephant who finally goes berzerk. It is always shot and killed. Their lives don't mean squat to their human masters because they aren't entertaining anymore and cannot bring in any income.

Edit to Add: To remain on topic, no. Your story doesn't get my vote for a face palm award. Lindsey Lohan and her bratty behavior and how many times she can get slapped on the wrist is a story I'll submit to the thread though.

Originally posted by mugger
I like this story. The attorney General doesn't even know what's going on, along with Obama and Janet.

Eric Holder Denies Prior Knowledge Of ‘Fast And Furious’Fast and Furious

Oh, yeah. Eric Holder just publicly denied any prior knowledge of Project Gunrunner (aka ‘Fast and Furious’) even though he bragged about it after Obama approved and signed the stimulus funding for its operations back in 2009.

That definitely deserves "Facie" (my term for the Facepalm Award)

Thank you!

Not sure if this qualifies but it always makes me laugh when i hear it

No entry, just a comment..

I agree that I'd rather protect whales than most humans. We're a curse, a cancer, a scourge.

I would support giving captive whales certain rights. I'm not so lost to believe that humans are better in any way.

Not sure how insuring a creature is treated with dignity and respect deserves a facepalm. So I guess I'll change my mind now, I do have a nominee:

Anyone who thinks animals are working pieces of meat to be used however we see fit should get the Facepalm Award. Anyone who believes that they have some special license to destroy everything around them simply because they are human deserves the Facepalm Award.

reply to post by Afterthought


I'll respect your opinion. I just don't want to confuse cruelty with "rights".

reply to post by beezzer


That's OK. I simply subscribe to the fact that every living creature has a right to live in its natural environment.

Remember: Don't molest the animals. There's a big thing going on with people interrupting humpback whale feeding. If these whales don't get enough to eat because we're selfishly and stupidly disturbing them, they'll die. Do you like to be bothered while you're eating?

Originally posted by PhoenixOD
Not sure if this qualifies but it always makes me laugh when i hear it

LMAO!!!

Definitely a Facie Award!

Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga.) deserves a "Facie."

From the article:
In a discussion regarding a planned military buildup on the Pacific island, Johnson expressed some concerns about the plans to Adm. Robert Willard, head of the U.S. Pacific fleet.

"My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize," Johnson said.

Willard paused and replied, "We don't anticipate that."

www.cbsnews.com...

Originally posted by TDawgRex
Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga.) deserves a "Facie."

From the article:
In a discussion regarding a planned military buildup on the Pacific island, Johnson expressed some concerns about the plans to Adm. Robert Willard, head of the U.S. Pacific fleet.

"My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize," Johnson said.

Willard paused and replied, "We don't anticipate that."

www.cbsnews.com...

Actually, that should be in the Facie "Hall of Fame" category.

Thanks!

source

On Sept. 15, Wenke dressed herself in coveralls, rubber boots and bubble wrap and she went to [her estranged husbands] office in Redwood City. Her husband was working at his computer at Wenke Construction when his wife attacked, Wagstaffe said Wenke shot a stun gun into her estranged husband's side, stabbed him in the neck and stabbed his chest while he was still sitting at his computer, according to investigators.

The husband called 911 and police officers said they found him outside the building bleeding in the parking lot. His wife was still in his office, her bubble wrap outfit streaked with blood, when officers arrested her

for a bonus follow the link to see how much the suspect resembles Hillary Clinton

reply to post by beezzer


Maybe all of his constituents deserve a mini-Facie as they keep re-electing him?
But wait…there’s more!

Nancy Pelosi on Health Care: "We have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it."

reason.com...


...no...wait a second.

Originally posted by iforget
source

On Sept. 15, Wenke dressed herself in coveralls, rubber boots and bubble wrap and she went to [her estranged husbands] office in Redwood City. Her husband was working at his computer at Wenke Construction when his wife attacked, Wagstaffe said Wenke shot a stun gun into her estranged husband's side, stabbed him in the neck and stabbed his chest while he was still sitting at his computer, according to investigators.

The husband called 911 and police officers said they found him outside the building bleeding in the parking lot. His wife was still in his office, her bubble wrap outfit streaked with blood, when officers arrested her

for a bonus follow the link to see how much the suspect resembles Hillary Clinton

Simply because "Hillary Clinton" and bubblewrap" were used in the same story, it gets a Facie. The story also gets one.

Originally posted by TDawgRex
reply to post by beezzer

 

Maybe all of his constituents deserve a mini-Facie as they keep re-electing him?
But wait…there’s more!

Nancy Pelosi on Health Care: "We have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it."

reason.com...

...no...wait a second.

Peolosi?
Botox?
Her face deserves a Facie!

Um, I mean what comes out of her face.

reply to post by iforget


That's one tough dude...and one carzy [snip].

The only thing she forgot was a scuba mask with snorkel.