GF getting fat!!

reply to post by mrmusicmr


I have this same problem.........i love her to bits but am finding her more and more unattractive physically (not mentally) and want to get out of this cycle.

I do feel shallow when i feel like that this but at the end of the day, you can't help how you feel can you? Obviously, i am a totally perfect specimen of manhood so feel slightly cheated!

On topic, go for the gym thing or some similar type of physical activity that burns of the fat............ i have got my lady to resurrect her love of swimming by entirely taking the cowards way out and skirting around the issue whilst referring to her talk of her old love of swimming.......

That said, i have recently also got her pregnant again. This is great but at the same time, i feel slightly like i have undone all of my 'hard' work.......

reply to post by robomont


Genius!!

Still laughing.......

I wonder how many of these posters go on other threads, complaining that people don't treat each other with respect and wonder what is wrong with the world today.

reply to post by Suspiria


I doubt any of these guys are much to look at, and probably perpetually single.

reply to post by nixie_nox


I admit my culpability on this point and plead that "i am only human, therefore prone to contradictions and mistakes".

I will add that whilst this is probs a mickey take thread, it raises a fair point. How far does attraction go? We all know there is more to a relationship than the physicality but equally we are being disingenous if we claim that attractiveness is not important - it is the first thing that we notice with people and this is backed up by scientific studies. Hell, the research even shows that women check out men's packages when meeting them for the first time (despite female claims otherwise) through furtive eye movements. We should not get away from the fact that despite our advanced brains and thought processes, logic, etc, we are still animals fundamentally

reply to post by Flavian


I have never checked out a package. I check out shoulders.

If you stay with someone long enough, it stops being about the physical.

And people's bodies change, whether you like them too or not. So if you have a set idea of attraction in your mind that you can't deviate from, your relationships are going to end.

Things grey, sag, and move.

You want your woman to accept your nose and ear hair, you can accept a little belly fat.

And weight does not equate health. This is a bad stereotype that will not die. There are people with pounds in great physical condition, and there are very sickly skinny people.

Congratulations, you let the MSM determine who you should find attractive.

Attraction is a temporary state when you meet somebody. How often do you meet a very attractive person to cringe the moment they open their mouths?

Originally posted by nixie_nox
reply to post by Flavian

 

I have never checked out a package. I check out shoulders.

If you stay with someone long enough, it stops being about the physical.

And people's bodies change, whether you like them too or not. So if you have a set idea of attraction in your mind that you can't deviate from, your relationships are going to end.

Things grey, sag, and move.

You want your woman to accept your nose and ear hair, you can accept a little belly fat.

And weight does not equate health. This is a bad stereotype that will not die. There are people with pounds in great physical condition, and there are very sickly skinny people.

Congratulations, you let the MSM determine who you should find attractive.

Attraction is a temporary state when you meet somebody. How often do you meet a very attractive person to cringe the moment they open their mouths?

edit on 21-10-2011 by nixie_nox because: (no reason given)

Many times to be honest. Was seeing a lady on and off for a couple of years who i do not mind admitting was way out of my league (i do ok for myself but she was a gorgeous model) and tbh sometimes when she spoke she was very 'cringe worthy'. The thing is, i always knew that that particular was about fun rather than settling down so surely it depends upon what you are actually looking for from a relationship. Both of us were aware that this was just fun too (she actually had a bf for the duration of our 'affair').

Forgot to add that in the scientific studies that backed up where the ladies were looking, they were not aware that they were doing it. It was picked up on super slow mo cameras. Just saying!

reply to post by Flavian


Just because there were studies, doesnt mean its true for everyone, lol.

There is just no way to judge through a pair of pants, that doesn't make any sense to me.

This is where nature comes vs. nurture. Nature has us subconciously smelling pheremones and checking stats, but the mind is a seperate piece and needs to be stimulated long after the attraction wears off.

As for the fun relationships, I always say there is the girl you take home for the night and the girl you take home for life, and the lifer usually ends up being completely different then the ones a person dates.

reply to post by nixie_nox


Absolutely agree 100%. My fun relationship was never introduced to the family!

The package thing allegedly was a throwback to survival for past generations - as in who is the most suitable for breeding purposes and survival of any children. Although quite how a quick glance confirms this is way beyond my comprehension!

I would also add that i honestly believe that most of these responses aren't genuine. I can say for myself that i was messing around at the start but feel, owing to your response, that i have had to take it more seriously now........(feeling told off and chastened)

reply to post by mrmusicmr


As a queen-sized woman myself,the best way to get her into
a gym is to go with her and work out together.
If you approach her in a wrong way,you might end up as a cold
case file.Walk very,very carefully when dealing with a woman's
weight.Flowers help

reply to post by hotel1


What fluffy advice? Last time I checked I didn't offer any in my post.

He should mention that she has gained weight, but not be mean/brutal about it. Then she will feel that all he cares about is what she looks like. That is the way a girl loses respect over a guy.

And how do you know he comes out winning? He could be horrendously fat/ugly/unemployed himself. If you want a good looking women you better be in top notch condition.

Tell her to stop eating all the pies.

reply to post by Dr Cosma


The following could be a true story,it is a joke that goes
around occassionally...
A man and his wife were discussing what they wanted
for their anniversary that was coming up.The wife wanted
something that would go from 0 to 200 in 60 seconds.The
wife was wanting a sports car her husband bought her a set
of bathroom scales.He was never heard from again.

reply to post by Flavian


Well I appreciate you coming out and bringing some sense and maturity in the situation.

though i am still chuckling at the cringe worthy part.

Originally posted by mayabong
Secretly loosen one of the legs on her favorite chair. When she sits on it she'll think she broke it then she'll realize she's getting fat.

This has to be the best suggestion yet !!!! You have a great sense of humour ......

Originally posted by mamabeth
reply to post by mrmusicmr

 

As a queen-sized woman myself,the best way to get her into
a gym is to go with her and work out together.
If you approach her in a wrong way,you might end up as a cold
case file.Walk very,very carefully when dealing with a woman's
weight.Flowers help

Size has little to do with anything.... It's the person that matters the most !

reply to post by mnmcandiez
I concede that i inadvertantly used advice twice, in the first instance I should have used the word approach. I did not say her weight gain was because she had lost respect for him, but that it demonstrated she had lost respect for him. You stated that most girls do not put on weight for this reason, does that mean you accept that some do. Your statement about an underlying emotional issue would seem to be an advisory opinion. I did not advocate being mean, or brutal; merely honest. He could be fat/unemployed/ugly you said, he could also be rich and therefore regardless of his looks he will get a top notch woman/women. Dumping a fat chick is always a winner even if it means doing the five knuckle shuffle for the rest of your days.

Originally posted by mamabeth
reply to post by Dr Cosma

 

The following could be a true story,it is a joke that goes
around occassionally...
A man and his wife were discussing what they wanted
for their anniversary that was coming up.The wife wanted
something that would go from 0 to 200 in 60 seconds.The
wife was wanting a sports car her husband bought her a set
of bathroom scales.He was never heard from again.

Yes but this is a different situation. I wouldn't tell my wife or gf on our anniversary that she's gaining weight.
Now in the last year I have put on a bit of weight myself where I used always maintain at 78 kilos. Now I weigh 94 kilos and my other half tells me straight, "you look like a gorilla". Which is fine considering she's probably right. I'm just waiting for her to put on some so I can say "stop eating all the pies".

Gota tell her straight no messing about.

It's just a little LOVE CHUB dude. Don't freak she just got comfortable, it will even itself out. It's a very touchy subject, so I would be very careful to tread lightly. I am shocked by the replies on here. Although funny they are a bit heartless. If you love her it really should not matter. She needs to find something besides your relationship that makes her happy. Something for herself.
Heather

listen to the people saying to make a plan TOGETHER or for BOTH of you. I had the same problem a while back and she loved the idea of going to the gym after I suggested we do an exercise routine.

(never told her she was getting larger. if you hint at things like that, they'll usually get it...)