Here to help, warn and save this planet[HOAX]

Posts like this make me wish for a bump down feature where if enough people vote it gets bumped off the front page.

Originally posted by TheChosenProphet
Ummm i have been given some bad news so please excuse me for a bit. My unit that i was staying in was involved in a fire. I lost all my things and i am now sitting in a motel room. I think it was just a bad teenager or someone i hope.

Why is there always some unforeseen disaster that strikes mid-thread? Where is the originality? I guess you get some points, though. Usually it's a black vehicle with blacked out windows parked just outside your door.

Bernard....is that you??

There are probably more one-liners possible for this post than ANY previous post ever on ATS... You could spend a day on the "poles" alone...

Sorry finally got WIFI at this motel i am staying at. Yes i am not joking about my unit, which was burnt down. So here i am in a motel room. I have been sent a message that reiterates what was said earlier that the big change is coming very soon and it is almost time for the humans who i will be leading to realise this and all join in the one place.

I am ready to lead. Ready for the people to follow me and join me in the new life.

I have news for those who are doomed here. To fight off the change you must keep strong minded, positive thinking and the aliens will destroy those who are the negative ones first.

Nice parody thread.

I smiled.

reply to post by TheChosenProphet


You had my sides splitting at "Greetings Earthlings" Really? You want to be taken serious so you open up with an early 80's movie tagline?

You want to warn the world of impending doom, so you come to the one site where everyone is already "awake" and "aware" of what is going on and of all the dangers in the world, and NOT to the outside world who is still asleep. On earth this is called "preaching to the choir". Aliens aren't so bright afterall. We still have a chance.

reply to post by mikemck1976


Thanks but I really did mean that...stinking aliens this is our planet!!!

reply to post by TheChosenProphet


If you woke up in Perm, Russia as you said and naked, you would make it to the newspapers and tv, yet nothing came up, FAIL

Originally posted by TheChosenProphet
Greetings earthlings.


I am new here and have urgent information that i need to tell you all. I was a chosen prophet at birth and have been chased by aliens every since i was 5. I have moved country to country to get away for them but they keep finding me. 3 years ago i was woken at night and beamed up into their spaceship. I met their great ones, evil looking creatures. They inserted poles into me and pumped a weird green susbstance into me. They threatend me to keep quiet and do what they say.

I was wondering why they have wanted me. They said i was special because i will bring the end of the world when the time is right. When i was beamed back down to earth i woke up in Perm, Russia. I was naked and hurt. I was helped by nice people on a farm and got myself back to my home in Australia. When i got back i was visited by aliens again. This time they came from earth. They took me to Pine Gap where i was harrassed. They said half of the worlds population are aliens and are all planning to revolt. The ones you see one the news fightning/ protesting/ rioting and aliens and this is the plan. They said my time is near.

I am scared what i am wanted to do. I cry in the corner of my room every night because i seem them watching me. Then last night i was warned again, to start to release my information, they said it was all part of their plan. They transported me to Washington where i met Barack Obama, Obama is an alien. He is a grey alien and took of his human skin. I was scared. He said i am special and going to do great things.

Now i am here, releasing the information.
World will come to an end in 2012
The hums in the sky are aliens positioned, getting ready to attack
Julia Gillard is a human and Tony Abott is an alien, that is why Julia is going so bad in the polls because she isnt an alien and all the aliens in Australia are voting Tony Abott.
Selsey St in melbourne will be the only street left untouched, and i am to go their when the change happens. Apparently their is a hole to the centre of this earth.
The people that survived the invasion will start to float up to the sky and then blow up.

Please ask questions, i should have more tomorrow. But all i want to say is Be safe, Help me and i help you. I am the one, the chosen one who is the person to lead you all. You should all worship me when the time is right.


Thankyou for listening.

Regards The chosen Prophet

Oh dear !

We got through the school holidays relatively unscathed by 'I am an alien' type threads this summer ... so much so that I was beginning to think the '3 Amigos' had been in the backroom laboratory at ATS headquarters and come-up with a BSA (bullsh!t alert) antedote ... you know the kind of thing ... something that had the power to eradicate such wild claims in the same way that a vaccine was created to eradicate smallpox and the plague ... guess I was wrong after all ... because here you are spouting cr@p and infecting the membership

Have you maybe considered a career in the short story 'sci-fi' genre ?

By the way please don't mistake me for a skeptic ... I'm anything but ... I am actually an 'experiencer' believe it or not ... and that is why I am so peed off with your account because it's people like you that give us a bad name and we all get painted with the same shade of crazy

I have a rule of thumb that says 'if even the most weird of experiences have logic attached then they are genuine ... whether that is in the field of UFO's and Aliens or the Paranormal' ... the rule I live by (even for my own experiences) 'no logic - no truth' ... try it ... it's a great aid to distinguishment and a great leveller for the reality potential


Here are the links to my own abduction experience (and the reason I joined ATS);

I Need Feedback On This 'Abduction' Experience (Part 1)
www.abovetopsecret.com...

I Need Feedback On This 'Abduction' Experience (Part 2)
www.abovetopsecret.com...


And a link to my website (FREE TO JOIN FREE TO READ) that put's all the information that I was told and shown during the years that have followed;

The Atlantean Analysis - Experiment Man Laboratory Earth
www.theatlanteananalysis.webeden.co.uk...

Just take a deep breath and relax ... things aren't always what they seem ... fear of the unknown can be blinding !

Woody

reply to post by silencee


The aliens control so much these days. The Russian Govt is run by aliens, and the Govt control the media. How else do you think i would of got from Russia to my current home of Australia. Aliens run everything now.

reply to post by woodwytch


Woody, does he remind you of someone? He's Australian too!

They stuck you with POLES?

Originally posted by TheChosenProphet
Sorry finally got WIFI at this motel i am staying at. Yes i am not joking about my unit, which was burnt down. So here i am in a motel room. I have been sent a message that reiterates what was said earlier that the big change is coming very soon and it is almost time for the humans who i will be leading to realise this and all join in the one place.

I am ready to lead. Ready for the people to follow me and join me in the new life.

I have news for those who are doomed here. To fight off the change you must keep strong minded, positive thinking and the aliens will destroy those who are the negative ones first.

How exactly did you get the motel to allow you to install Wifi? Maybe you are special.

Anyhow, since I like loose ends tied up quickly, you are obviously looking for followers. Since there is not much time left, I should hope you have devised a plan detailing whom is to be chosen and how they are to find you.

Care to share the criteria for selecting followers and when should we expect "further instruction"??

I would be rather upset to find I don't make the cut. Afterall, I am spending my last few days on Earth in this thread....surely you will give me some nugget of inside information useful in surviving. Other than hiding that is.

reply to post by TheChosenProphet


I would also be keen to know how you determine if you are an "alien"? After all you said 50% of the world was an alien, so by the law of averages, 50% of ATS users are aliens...

Can you clarify how i can tell if i'm human or an alien?

If you're trolling, well Congrats on making the front page. If you really do believe what you're saying, however, you need help. Sounds like you could have a serious mental disorder. I would recommend you see someone to evaluate your mental health asap.

Originally posted by TheChosenProphet
reply to post by silencee

 

The aliens control so much these days. The Russian Govt is run by aliens, and the Govt control the media. How else do you think i would of got from Russia to my current home of Australia. Aliens run everything now.

And the media owns....Pan Am?

You left out a connection point. What does an alien run government and control of the media have to do with flying from Russia to Australia?

Originally posted by TheChosenProphet
Sorry finally got WIFI at this motel i am staying at. Yes i am not joking about my unit, which was burnt down. So here i am in a motel room. I have been sent a message that reiterates what was said earlier that the big change is coming very soon and it is almost time for the humans who i will be leading to realise this and all join in the one place.

I am ready to lead. Ready for the people to follow me and join me in the new life.

I have news for those who are doomed here. To fight off the change you must keep strong minded, positive thinking and the aliens will destroy those who are the negative ones first.

S'ok. I already know I'm not among the chosen gozillion or so, since Australia is a bit to far for me to walk/swim to get there for you to "lead" me. Thanks for the 4 days "heads up" so that I've got time to hot-wire a biplane and steal enough dynamite to pack it with, so's I'll have something to fly into the Mother Ship to end the Alien Menace to the planet once and for all.

Is it them Little Gray Fellers from Zeta Reticuli? I ain't skeert of them - I can break any 30 of 'em across my knee in bundles. Probably won't need the biplane or the dynamite if it's just them...

One more thing - where can I get a pair of those special glasses that you look through to see which ones are aliens in human forms?

Where is ATS thought police when you need them... ?

Originally posted by lpowell0627

I would be rather upset to find I don't make the cut. Afterall, I am spending my last few days on Earth in this thread....surely you will give me some nugget of inside information useful in surviving. Other than hiding that is.

Silly!

The Alien Ambassador here said "don't be negative and you'll live longer", so I'm putting that into practice. I'm positive I can break any number of them aliens across my knee in bundles if 30!

That thar is the sekrit - be positive!

reply to post by nenothtu


True enough. Thank you for showing me the error of my ways.

As the giant alien ship hovers dangerously above, I will chant positive thoughts. Surely thinking "I will survive" should be enough to ward off super weapons, telepathy, and death rays....right??? All that money I spent on guns, too. All I needed was the book "Chicken Soup for the Abducted". Silly me indeed.