I'm so lonely I could die

Your suffering is mine also. What´s you are experiencing is maybe a painful change. Life is pushing you to a change, in a painful way like most of us. So... i can tell you this, you are ending a long journey, and the universe, energy or whatever you want to call it, is telling you.. loudly!! please change radically your way of thinking about yourself and human kind, if not you´ll continue experiencing the same over and over. Remember this, if you change, then i change almost inmediately. Don´t feel lonely because we are all with you in this very moment. And this is not merely a verbal construction, it is real, and that´s my brother is what you need to realize more sooner than later.
If u have time check this out

Get a job at UPS, it'll get you in shape and will give you a sense of accomplishment by the sheer amount of labor you'll put into it. Being in shape will raise your self esteem. Plus, you'll sleep great.

Go out more often, even if it's by yourself. If it bothers you to go to places that people you know might see you, just go somewhere where you'd be unlikely to see them. Think about whether they are places that you would take someone to. Have a good time. If it bothers you to look at girls or make eye contact, get some glasses. Maybe you need to move to a different city?

Once you have felt out different scenes, and haven't met a girl yet, look for one on the internet, and take her to the places your familiar with. Don't open up to her about your past failures, even if she probes about it. Your going to have to be prepared to make an excuse for it that doesn't draw attention to your inability to have relationships because it won't be long until you'll feel sorry for yourself and you'll try to garner sympathy, which never works, and the girl will become uninterested and you'll never see her again, and your self-esteem will take another jab, continuing the cycle. Sympathy bad.

If you feel uninteresting, get a hobby. Pick up guitar. Learn a couple songs, practice scales, get your fingers strong and limber, play with some different techniques, and you'll be able to play many songs within a month or two. Pick up a class in something you're interested in.

You seriously need to change your lifestyle.

reply to post by religiousmurder

You answered your own question, "self defeating prophesy" hit the nail right on the head.
The way you carry yourself, your confidence and body language announce your intent long before you open your mouth to speak. If you begin your day with a negative attitude you are pretty much covered in opposite sex repellant, what you have you don't want so why would anyone want to share it with you?
Starting tomorrow hit the street with a smirk on your face, think of something funny AND cool from a favorite song or movie, now you have something to offer, a secret that makes you smile, just don't share it yet.
Stand up straight, walk like you own the place and keep an "approachable" smile on your face, you'll notice a difference within an hour.

Hey dude.... I can truly feel your pain. I've been down this road myself and what you are describing reminds me of how my life was 6 years ago. I was stuck in an awful marriage and working in a bar serving horrible and aggressive people - something I foresaw myself doing until the day I died.

Then someone in the bar attempted to stab me just for doing my job. At the time this sent me into a tailspin and I truly believed that I would never come out of it. I contemplated death, suicide and how I could start again from scratch. These were very real thoughts and occupied my every waking moment. This mightn't sound like a good thing to happen to someone (I swear, at the time I became so paranoid that I thought every person I met on the street might try and stab me) but sometimes life sends you a slap in the face and a kick in the arse to send you in a different direction.

After about 6 months of living like this I had had enough and out of sheer anger I started screaming at God asking him what the f**k he was doing and that he could go f**k himself. I suddenly heard a voice in my head saying leave your bedroom, go the book shelf and pick up a certain book. I went and found a book I never knew was in my house and started to read it.

The book is called Battlefield of The Mind by Joyce Meyer. I am not a fan of this woman at all and believe her to be another of the Send me your money and God will love you brigade but everything she said in the book struck a chord and helped me to understand why I was thinking the way I was and feeling the way I was. You mention that spirituality is a strong force in your life so I would really recommend you try and pick yourself up a copy of this book and really read it with an open mind.

When you mention spirituality I assume/hope you are taking about true spirituality and not the corporate religion machine most of us have been force fed with. In that case I believe that at some point in time your soul/essence/being made the decision in all its wisdom to come down to this earth and be a part of the game of life. That decision was made by the all knowing, all seeing, part of the greater consciousness side of you. You are here for a reason my friend and who knows.... that might be that someday in the future you meet a great woman who falls madly in love with you. It could be that the child you are supposed to one day bring into this world turns out to be a John Connors-esq hero of mankind.

My point is... who knows. Just like your life can change for the worse in a second it can also change for the better just as quickly. Cling to every moment of happiness and remind yourself of the times over the past few years where you were truly happy. It might be your team winning with a last second goal/touchdown/basket or it might be seeing your favourite band blow away a stadium or arena. Change your focus to thinking of what is good in your life and good things will slowly but surely follow.

You are not alone brother and tonight and for many nights to come I will be thinking of you and praying for you. Stay strong, mentally check every thought and stay on the roller coaster because you never know what thrills might be in store around the next bend. Your suffering and pain will only make you stronger and YOU WILL come out the other side of this and look back and thank God for making your life better.

One final word.... you mention that you have excellent taste in music. Ever though of persuing this as a line of work? DJ, blogger, critic, working in a record store? You can be whatever you want to be brother and if the job is the big issue then you need to take steps to changing it. So what if you have do it for free as a sideline while you earn money doing jobs you hate. You will start mixing in similar circles and an opportunity will come along when you least expect it.

Man up. Take that taste in music and apply it to your daily endeavors. Find a job in a record store, or take up an instrument. I know how it is to be shy around women. There are women that are attracted to that too. Use those hands to make something. Maybe crafts or construction work. Keep busy on things that you will have something to show, something that gives meaning. Work hard enough, and you won't have time to feel sorry for yourself. Or don't do any of things. It's up to you. Just remember that a true ladies man is a man that can do without.

I also like the volunteering Idea. Great way to meet folks.
Good luck.

Yeah if there were even cd/record stores around today I would apply instantly. And I do DJ in mainly metal rooms on paltalk as decapitationboogie. For someone that literally listens to music atleast 3 hours a day as an escape it is weird I don't pick up an instrument. Every positive comment I read from everyone is making me happy. I sincerely appreciate it.

reply to post by religiousmurder


I rode a bike as a kid all the time as kid. Good times. Several years back, my life got rough, and got a bike again.

Riding made me feel young and free, especially coasting down a steep hill, standing up and letting the wind hit my face. AAAW so free, so young again.

Can you get a bike? Do you have a place to ride? There are a lot of bike clubs that dont charge $$ to ride with them. Good fun.

reply to post by greenCo


Hey I like your outlook on how we are all connected. You probably have heard about the experiment they have going where random number generators are set up around busy spots in the world. The more "emotion" released by the mind the less the results are random.

reply to post by windword


I have a bike. before I got my current vehicle I have now. I was riding to work 5 miles a day on it. did that for 5 months in texas heat.

Let the comments in here continue to inspire you. You are never truly alone.

Originally posted by religiousmurder
reply to post by windword

 

I have a bike. before I got my current vehicle I have now. I was riding to work 5 miles a day on it. did that for 5 months in texas heat.

edit on 15-9-2011 by religiousmurder because: dsfgdf

Yikes! That might not be the thing to do then......

Find something to do, that you really want to do, and go for it. I know, easier said than done. But you need to reconnect with the things that used to make you happy. You don't know the future, so reach to the best part of your past.

Draw from you true self. Try to remember who that is....

Loneliness, aye, is the downfall of every man.

Women are evil, and you should stay far away from them.

They suck your money, they annoy you with endless chattering, and they bleed for one week out of every month, which causes their emotions to go all out of whack, which in turn drives you crazy because they hate you one moment and love you the next. They are completely irrational, will want you to marry them, and then they incessantly demand that you do things for them to make them feel special.

Ah, but there is nothing in the world like a warm female body laying beside you every night, snuggling as you drift off into slumberland, and nothing better than waking up in the morning with your best friend beside you. That is what life is about, my friend.

So I will tell you how to end your loneliness. All your troubles stem from you being alone, and the right woman will make you complete. You desire a mate in life, someone to love, and she is out there waiting for you. So listen.....

You can have ANY woman YOU want. You have to lay the groundwork first. Define the type of female you want, in your own mind. Dream about her at night, her smile, her laugh, her shape, her hair. Think about the type of woman you want, the characteristics you desire, but focus on what is most important to you. Do not compromise. Think about the type of person you are, as you go to bed at night, and think about the type of female you'd be happiest with.

Yes, she will have a love of music like you do. Yes, she will have issues also, but because she herself also felt incomplete before you met. Once you realize everyone has issues, everyone needs someone, and everyone who is single is lonely, you will have taken the first step in finding her. Nobody is perfect, and everyone needs to feel loved.

Next step: Start dishing out compliments to women. Get them to smile. Note, make sure you causally glance at the left hand, the ring finger, and remain yourself to the ones who have one, as they are taken. It's really easy to get anyone to smile. Tell a customer that she has nice hair. She will smile and say thank you. Tell another that you like her smile, and she will smile. Out of the blue, say to one, hey, your blouse really goes good with your earrings. Single women strut, and try to impress, and all you have to do is recognize that. Stick with topics at first that deal with superficial appearances, as single women LOVE compliments. Keep it light, and simple, tossing a comment here and there. Smile back when smiled at. Make eye contact. Remember, you have already defined the type of female you want in step one, but be nice to all of them, and treat every single woman a compliment that fits into your criteria. No ring means fair game. Note, do not EVER say you noticed she doesn't have a ring. Do not insult her for being single. They HATE that. Treat every female without a ring as a friend, nothing more, and nothing less. Do not be overbearing, do not give them favors, and do not tell them they are special. Keep it to compliments about their appearance, and that is it. Don't expect anything in return. Be mysterious, females love a challenge. As desperate as you are, realize within yourself that you are a man, that dating is a game, and you have already defined what type of woman you want. When you are nice to all single females, they'll spot your charisma, and one or more of them will be on the hunt. One of them will want to make you her own. Once a female is interested in you, she will let you know. She will be the one that comes back for the stupidest stuff, just to see you again, and to get a different compliment from you. Your smile, her loneliness and yours combined will make the connection. Ask her to go for a walk together after you get off work, and she'll be there. The rest is up to you.

Best of luck. Feel free to u2u me at anytime.

you gotta get out there, man! You gotta live this life

I dont know you so I dont know what youre into apart from Mary Jane and video games.
But, like the member eleven said get out there and live this life, that might sound like nothing but it's everything.

Youre surrounded by ugliness constantly, your job and then at home playing games, not saying your home is ugly, but some nature would do miracles.

I find whenever im down I go to forests or mountains for walks or the beach or anywhere where theres nature.
You sit there and relax and detox from everything, the body and mind will appreciate it alot, try it mate.

The more you try it, the more you body and mind will be at peace. Meditation is good but it's not the answer to everything, I find that just sitting in the middle of the woods just listening to the trees and wildlife is a better form of meditation that sitting in your room.

When your body and mind start feeling better, you'll know yourself when the time is ripe for you to start joining a dating service or something like that. Also try and be with people, if you have a hobby apart from video games (I like them also, but they are very anti social) try and join a community of other people that like the same stuff as you, this will help you trust me.

If you cannot find another job then fine, but find some outdoor activity so when you come out of your job you can enjoy something and that does alot, it compensates, then bit by bit, you'll find a better job.

Try these thing's bro.

Life is out there and there is someone out there for you also, never forget that.

Take care and I hope you find your way. Remember dont be afraid of being who you are, cos that's where your strengh is by being yourself.

You sound like a nice guy, someone is searching for you also.

Stay positive.

If you want to U2U me, anytime mate, dont think about it, just go ahead, im here.


One love.

I'm glad so many people replied already...you are not alone after all.

If I may add my two cents, this in itself is a wonderful answer. We all are going through the same things, at different paces, from different reasons. I've been there too, like many others here.

You see, the moment you opened up, people reacted. It's the same in real life. We all are connected, but when we are too caught in our own problems, we leave everyone else outside.
Try to make a shift of perception; try to see that the people around you have issues too, feel lonely, or cheated, or whatever. Try to understand THEIR struggle. This will accomplish two important things: you won't feel alone anymore, because understanding them will make the connection. And second, your own problems will seem lighter.
Try to understand people, and let them understand you. From there, everything will fall in place.
Trust me, empathy is a miraculous tool. And it's the master key in any aspect of relationships.

As for suicide, it won't work. If you believe in reincarnation, then someone told me once that if we commit suicide to escape from a difficult situation, in the next life we will pick it up exactly from where we left it. And I have every reason to believe him.

Also there is this little book that for me changed a lot of things : The Five-Minute Miracle by Tara Springett. Google it. Even from the book preview you can get the technique and try it. I did, and I'm grateful.

Be strong, and remember that this only a phase in your life. You'll get out of it stronger and wiser.

reply to post by religiousmurder


"How is one supposed to love anyone else if they don't even love themself? "

this won't be a popular opinion on this site but it's still a valid one. get some counseling.

if yo are not able or willing to to the work it takes to change the self you don't like, perhaps having someone that helps to see your way along the path will benefit you. there are people that go to school for many years, they know what they are doing, and they can help you.

if you do not like the first counselor or psychologist you speak with and feel you are making no progress after a while, try another. not everyone is comfortable with everyone.

lack of self esteem is an issue that exists for reasons. you need to realize the good within and build your confidence.

shyness is being too inwardly focused. one has to open up to the world and to others.

it's up to you. this is your voyage, you steer the boat where you want it to go.

reply to post by religiousmurder


I've been in your shoes before, maybe not exactly the same, but the feelings you have are familiar to me. Taking your own life will only mean you have more karma to burn off in another life. So your reincarnated life could be worse. You choose this life before being born into this world. Although you are in a depressed time of your life, believe me, been there done that and I also tried to take my own life after my husband of 18 yrs walked out on me and my children. I look back now and cannot believe I did such a thing, let alone if I succeeded, I would have missed out on my life now and a wonderful (2nd) husband whom I've been married to for 14 yrs.

The best way to get out of this situation is to help others less fortunate as you will be blessed over and over for doing so in a karma type of way. I would also suggest creating an online dating profile. Let me explain....

My son had the worst acne ever seen in high school. We had him on every medication known to man to resolve. It never went away. This made him terribly shy and unsure of himself with females. He was also severely lonely after high school and wasn't dating anyone for a few years. I created an online dating profile for him (without him knowing) and very quickly thereafter, a nice, pretty girl started communicating to him on this dating site. Those two started dating and she resolved how he felt about himself and his lack of confidence. I recommend you do the same. Look at the profiles that seem to speak well in terms of their bio. Talk about what you really are interested in, not what you think people want to hear. You will find a similar female with the same likes/dislikes by doing so.

Lean on us if you need to, we are here for you friend. Wishing you the best life has to offer!

Your post touched me deeply...... I've been there, though for different reasons....and though I don't know you, I DO care. What is it in life that interests you? If you can find that one thing....the next step is to think of a place where people with like interests may gather.....like meetings, groups, conferences etc. Then go to them. There are many, and THAT is the key to meeting someone who you can relate to ....and that can relate to you. Common interests. Please don't isolate yourself. You are an intelligent and sensitive man....you have a lot to offer. You just need to put yourself in a better environment. When you are in a place where there are people who share common interests, your confidence will be much higher. I truly believe there is someone out there for you, but you have to get out there to find her. YOU ARE A VALUABLE PERSON AND YOU ARE SPECIAL....each one of us is unique and each one of us has something others don't..... Identify that one thing and develop it Find the one thing that makes your heart beat faster. The one thing you want most of all...and start trying to find some kind of job where you can pursue that. I know it's hard....and it seems unattainable....but you have to WANT it. Try to get out of the rut.....that's the key. I hope that you really try to do this, and please don't do anything crazy. People do care...you just have to reach out....as you are doing now...but also in the real world. I wish the best for you hon....and I KNOW you can do it. Love and Best wishes for you.......

I know that feeling.. it's called depression, and i have had that too for various reasons.

You are feeling like that just because you can't find joy or emotions out there, but reason is simple, you are in the wrong place with the wrong people.
It may not be easy to find a new job, but changing place really helps. Start new activities, do fitness (grow up some muscles, it makes you feel more confortable with yourself) and meet new people. Start smiling or they will avoid you....

It's hard i know, but it is worth it, trust me

reply to post by religiousmurder


The fact that you rode a bike in the heat all that time to get to work impresses me! That shows right there you are a good catch....it shows ambition, determination, and shows you are responsible. THAT is something that makes you attractive as well. So many women would see that as a great quality. Take those qualities and use them to get what you want. You can do it!

reply to post by religiousmurder


Hey buddy, I used be in your shoes as well

It is love and care that you need. But firstly, you gotta change from the inside. Try a positive approach every time everywhere.

Try not to dwell on the negatives for it lowers your vibration. You seem like a smart guy, I say you start your day with a smile every morning.

Unfortunate circumstances may arise, but always see it as learning experience. All is good buddy cheer up

Oh, if you're interested, check "the secret" a very inspirational documentary, this should equip you with knowledge necessary to face life's challenges, until whenever the provable hits

en.wikipedia.org...



Cheers!!!!!