Twisted Females

reply to post by galadofwarthethird


I appreciated your post galaofwarthethird , and lots of wisdom in it for me..as well common sense.

Partygirl was just trying to help in her own way, I liked the vid. It was cute, and it made about as good a point as anything that was said in this whole thread. I am pretty sure she is the first of two people on this whole thread that does not have any personal experience with such a thing. But what! does that mean she does not get to have an opinion on it? I think not.

Yes she can have her opinion.. but we were sorting out a few things..on this thread..and it seemed to imply that she was above that type of behavior..and we should all grow up..and be mature..how she is..and really she was adding fuel to a fire , that she was claiming to be above playing with.

Because somebody else doesn't agree with my opinion..is fine..and I and some others were working that out..on this thread...wading through all the bs of assumptions and innuendos.

Then she comes in with the attitude of how mature she is,and how she left all that kind of bickering back in high school....when in fact she was behaving worse by jumping into something that had nothing to do with her...and scolding us for it... like she was above it all....followed with what I perceived as an insincere I love you.)

K..I'm getting pissed just thinking about it again....so I better let it drop...and she probably didn't mean it to offend as much, as I took offence by it.

But if you really want to blast somebody about insinuating and causing much havoc about females on this site even this thread then I think I would fit that bill. Oh yes I have caused some troubles here and there on all kinds of different threads, but fear not gabby2011 its all just words. And they don't mean anything unless they mean anything to the person reading it. And sometimes its good to exercise issues in such wayward ways.

I agree..as sort of therapy....and I'm sure many here have experienced things that do make them see things in a certain perspective....with good reason.

I'm glad to read I am not the only one who seems to cause trouble in threads..(chuckles)..and in the end you're correct..they are just words....but I need to choose them wisely..if want I want them to work in an effective manner.

I don't feel good about offending people in the end of it all....but in the heat of the moment..at times..my sensitivity chip is working with a burnt fuse..

I'm glad to read I am not the only one who seems to cause trouble in threads..(chuckles)..and in the end you're correct..they are just words....but I need to choose them wisely..if want I want them to work in an effective manner.

I don't feel good about offending people in the end of it all....but in the heat of the moment..at times..my sensitivity chip is working with a burnt fuse..

Heh. I can relate. Sometimes people just need to be taken off their high horses. And honestly what kind of forum would this be if we all got along?

Originally posted by gabby2011
...Then she comes in with the attitude of how mature she is,and how she left all that kind of bickering back in high school....when in fact she was behaving worse by jumping into something that had nothing to do with her...and scolding us for it... like she was above it all....followed with what I perceived as an insincere I love you.)

I never said I was mature, I said the argument in this thread was like a high school argument, which I still think is a valid statement to make. And since I read it from the beginning on a public messageboard, I have just as much right to comment on it as you or anyone else on ATS. I wasn't "scolding," I was trying to stop people whose (virtual) company I sincerely enjoy from clawing at each other. Is it insincere to say "I love you" to a bunch of strangers on a messageboard? Perhaps. But after 6 months, I feel I know some of you enough to feel real affection for you all as my friends or at least fellow travelers....even you, Gabby.

K..I'm getting pissed just thinking about it again....so I better let it drop...and she probably didn't mean it to offend as much, as I took offence by it.

I meant zero offence by it at all, it simply upset me to see this argument spirialing out of control. It was a "come on, guys, we are better than this," NOT "come on guys I'm better than you." I'm sorry you took offence, that was not my intention at all, and I hope you won't let it impact further interactions, as I respect you as a member of the ATS community.

Peace.

reply to post by Death_Kron

Just for clarification this isn't a women bashing thread, I'm not saying I'm anywhere near perfect and I'm also not saying there weren't aspects of my behaviour that I could of looked at/changed.

Thank you for clarifying this is not a woman bashing thread....and it takes a man of character to admit his behavior, and actions may have been part of the problem as well..

I sincerely hope you work your issues out..and there is a happy ending for both of at the end of it all..whether that be with each other, or with other partners.

May you find a happy, successful, and fulfilling relationship..at some point in the future...

and please accept my apologies for being so harsh ..

reply to post by Partygirl


My apologies if took your post the wrong way.. ..

and yes you have right to your opinion...

I am more than willing to put this behind us....and move forward....with a better understanding

reply to post by gabby2011

Yes she can have her opinion.. but we were sorting out a few things..on this thread..and it seemed to imply that she was above that type of behavior..and we should all grow up..and be mature..how she is..and really she was adding fuel to a fire , that she was claiming to be above playing with.

Your reading to much into it. In fact she was pretty dead on with that comment that this thread was turning into a school argument, and after all I at least learned something. So you can say that she was right on the school part.

Thought the really funny thing is I never actually learned much in actual high school, and the school arguments that happened there.

I don't feel good about offending people in the end of it all....but in the heat of the moment..at times..my sensitivity chip is working with a burnt fuse.

hey at least you have one. I think I lost mine or it broke or something.

But anyways time for me to get some sleep.
Peace out strange people, on a strange corner of the web.

See we can all get along after all.

Originally posted by Death_Kron
reply to post by Death_Kron

 

My simple gripe is that the ex wouldn't sit down and tell me her feelings, explain to me what she wasn't happy with, if she did that then possibly we could have salavged the relationship, that's what most heart breaking for me.

But hey ho, thanks again guys, I'm still here and I'll live for another day

Unfortunately she probably didn't want to be talked back into the relationship once she'd made her mind up.
If there's bugger all left to say, there's bugger all left to say.

As human beings we can be bombarded with conflicting views in regards to relationships. Do you maintain dialogue and prolong the agony or sever the ties and give each other time to lick your own wounds? I don't know..I'm sure a few of us have tried both in our lifetimes. We've been both the abandoned and the abandoner.

When there's kids caught in that cross fire it's horrible, when people concerned become stalkers or abusive, or just plain as day leave you for someone else, that's horrible. But when it's just a case of not being able to see the woods for the tree's anymore, growing apart or just plain making each other miserable, then it's probably just for the best.

Originally posted by galadofwarthethird

What I think is sometimes over-thinking stuff will tangle you up, I know because sometimes my mind just goes in overdrive and i cant stop the over-thinking or thinking till it literally burns all my energy and I stay awake for days.

Tell me Sometimes that 'inner dialogue' was enough to drive me nuts. I've come to realise that my Mum wasn't the only person to regret teaching me how to talk

I've done quite a bit of work to quieten things down and, happily, things aren't so bad as they used to be.

Thanks for the link, it was like a little oasis for me this morning. I have a lot of respect for the Zen teachings and a gentle nudge back onto the path never comes amiss.

reply to post by Death_Kron


Hello my friend, just recently I posted up a thread having trouble about forgetting my ex girlfriend, but then I realized that I just looked at the bad aspects of the relationship. I was with her for one year, pretty much did everything for her and in the end, she just left me. I have noticed that both men and women usually act upon their own self-interest, and that is exactly what nature has given us. I have learned that if a woman is unhappy in her relationship, she will find it elsewhere. I do not know your girlfriend and I do not want to make any presumptive judgments about her, but I can tell you that a majority of women become selfish if their needs are not met. As my mother told me, you will only truly know the will of a woman when you lose all of your money and see if she sticks with you through the hard times. I know you're enduring pain right now, and its terrible, and I can definitely tell you that it will not go away anytime soon so make sure you are kind to yourself.

Do not try to blame yourself too much over the mistakes that you both have made in the relationship, after all, you are only a human being, as for she is as well. Always know that no matter how much anger you harbor against her, that individual has family who also loves them. I recommend you do not maintain any contact for the time being and allow yourself to heal. Do not go and hook up with other people or find someone new until you are ready because that in turn can cause you more pain. Welcome this time of tragedy as a learning experience. My father told me that there are 7 billion people on this planet and us men have to get out of this fantasy world of the "one." There are many "ones" out there for us. I am also in some pain from my breakup about 7 months ago but one thing I can definitely tell you is that every day that goes by it gets .001% better. Now is the time to focus on yourself and take care of your priorities. It is the worst when you make someone a priority and they make you an option.

Breakups are terrible, and I'm sure you've heard it millions of times, especially to men because it hurts our self-esteem, our egos, and most importantly how we see ourselves. We are the most emotionally vulnerable during this time. My best advice to you my friend is to take it everyday day by day. It is only natural for the brain to idealize this girl as the "one" and constantly figure out who is she with, is she seeing anyone, etc. Overtime, you will definitely see why the relationship failed, because especially after a break up you are still blinded by the extreme passion and love for the other. Many will say to toughen up and move on, but this can become a problem if you just hide your feelings and put them to the side because they will come back to bite you in the arse in the long run. Recognize your feelings, welcome them, look at the relationship as an excellent experience and never be too hard on yourself. If you feel like you need to shed tears, do it in a space where nobody sees you. If you bottle it all up, it eventually becomes unhealthy. Wish the other person the best of health in the world and be very grateful that you are in good health. Learn from the relationship, learn from your mistakes, and make sure when you find the next right girl the same mistakes are not made. It is a part of being human. It takes two people to make a relationship but only one discordant person to end it. Look at it this way, and I am serious about it, a year from now, will it matter? Take it day by day and you will be fine my friend. Ex girlfriends are exes for a reason. If you need anyone to talk to about it, hit me up man, send me a pm, I'm going through a post-breakup hell too. I guess this is what makes us men.

reply to post by Unvarnished


Thanks for the post mate, excellent and intelligence words, I may just take you up on your offer of a U2U.

Originally posted by Death_Kron

My simple question is why if she was so unhappy did she let the cycle continue for as long as it did? Why didn't she just make her thoughts/opinions known when I first pursued the issue?

In my opinion it's because she knew she was better off her with me than simply going back and living with her parents, DAMN TWISTED FEMALES

Probably she let it go on even though she was unhappy because she did have feelings for you and didn't want to hurt you. In other words she was trying to be good to you even though being with you wasn't making her happy.

Its not always enough to love someone or be fond of them and loving someone or having feelings for them doesn't mean the entire relationship is working or indeed that it should be forced work. IMO if she was unhappy she's done the right thing.

reply to post by Versa


Probably, while I've almost killed myself during the last fortnight coming to terms with it, nice one females

Originally posted by Death_Kron
reply to post by Versa

 

Probably, while I've almost killed myself during the last fortnight coming to terms with it, nice one females

I'm sorry you are having a hard time coming to term with this...but accusing the females on this thread...or in your life.. of you being responsible for wanting to kill yourself..is a little lame..and once again passing off the buck to the "females'.

Grow up...and accept responsibility for your own thoughts and actions...within the relationship, as well as now..


Death Kron.. if your feeling suicidal please go talk to someone, and try and work through it..

Blaming others isn't going to help you resolve what the issues are that you are up against.

I wish you the best...sincerely.. with being able to find help and help yourself through this dark time, and learn valuable lessons from it.

Originally posted by Death_Kron
reply to post by Versa

 

Probably, while I've almost killed myself during the last fortnight coming to terms with it, nice one females

D_K. Don't do that - women aren't worth killing yourself over. Most would read your obit and go shopping.

CJ

reply to post by Death_Kron


Hey, when I read your post I took 'almost killed myself' to be an expression. I use it myself often. But I see that other people are more worried about you. In case things are so bad that you did consider it, please write down how you feel.

I offer this advice to anyone who is suffering a break-up or bereavement and really, really hope that you will take it. Don't just brush it off as well-meaning but not helpful.

When I had a mega break-up I spent an afternoon writing (on a computer) 9 pages of emotions and feelings. It won't stop the pain, but it's like a safety valve. You can get a lot out - and it's better out than in

It does hurt a bit, but that's a good hurt because your ridding yourself of stuff you're better off without.

Don't worry if it's not poetic and don't just stare at a blank screen or page. Write down the first thing that comes into your head, even if it's only 'I feel lousy' or 'this is killing me' - keep going. Just write until you haven't anything left to say. And if something occurs to you when you think you've finished write that down too.

It's up to you if you ever read it again. Sometimes it's good to go back to it some time later to see how far you've come. Sometimes, you're best to just leave it.

Anyway, I hope you're doing better. This is the sort of time when, however much other people try to help, you have to be your own best friend. You can manage that

Originally posted by Death_Kron
reply to post by Versa

 

Probably, while I've almost killed myself during the last fortnight coming to terms with it, nice one females

Hold on a second.... Didn't you admit that

Originally posted by Death_Kron
I've had issues in the past that I will happily agree would in all fairness make me a difficult person to live with.

I think you have to accept some responsibility here.... Also just because one woman was unable to live with your difficult behaviour it doesn't mean you can slander all women. I'll be honest your attitude in this thread alone makes me think she did the right thing. You need to take a close look at yourself and realise that your behaviour and attitude towards women is what's caused this.

Don't take me so literally, sometimes the way I talk doesn't probably help,=...

reply to post by Death_Kron

Probably, while I've almost killed myself during the last fortnight coming to terms with it, nice one females

Think its pretty clear what you were trying to imply here... trying to make females feel guilty...

Sorry it didn't work as well as you wished.

What on Earth are you talking about mate? You seem to love fighting for the female frontier, almost too much? Sticking up up for the nicer sex if fine, but your seriously pushing the boat out here, plenty of others have said the same, stop arguing......

Originally posted by Death_Kron
What on Earth are you talking about mate? You seem to love fighting for the female frontier, almost too much? Sticking up up for the nicer sex if fine, but your seriously pushing the boat out here, plenty of others have said the same, stop arguing......

edit on 18/9/11 by Death_Kron because:

edit on 18/9/11 by Death_Kron because: (no reason given)

You seem to like not taking responsibility for what you say , and what you do...and I think you know exactly what I'm talking about.

I'm sure I wasn't the only one who felt the same about the post I quoted.

Probably, while I've almost killed myself during the last fortnight coming to terms with it, nice one females

As far as fighting for females..if you looked closer at my posts on this thread.. you will see that I feel the same way about women who only give their version of why a relationship soured...and call all men arsholes or twisted.

I know there are good men out there..as well as good women..and both genders make mistakes. I also know that both genders can get screwed over in a relationship.

If you think that I fight too much for females... I think you're being biased..and trying to imply something that isn't true.

I'm not arguing Death Kron..just pointing out the obvious..

If you want to call that arguing..go right ahead mate..

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