I Am a Straight, Married Christian Male in Support of Gay Marriage

Up until about a year ago, I was firmly against gay marriage. I'm not really sure why, other than I cannot fathom being sexually attracted to the opposite sex. Don't get me wrong here; I can appreciate a good looking, well built hunk of a guy, and would rather look at Brad Pitt than Kevin James. But I'm not sexually attracted to them him, just appreciative.

I began to ponder the social contracts we have with each other. Perhaps it's because am I getting older and becoming more politically and socially aware. But considering my opinions on some social programs as compared to others, my stance on gay marriage is not so cut and dry as "this is why I've changed my mind". For example, while I firmly believe that Social Security should be scrapped in lieu of one saving one's own money, or at least the opportunity to opt out of it, I don't really have any problems with Medicare/Medicaid, save that they should be reworked to be more efficient and made to work for the elderly instead of against them.

When the whole California Proposition 8 issue came to light, I was full of righteous indignation. "We" won! Now, while I still believe that the pro gay marriage crowd should've accepted the outcome (after all, they did allow a vote by the citizens of California. The citizenry voted against it. That's called "democracy". Get over it and try again next time.), I began to question the legality of preventing gay marriage. I was still against it, but the seed of doubt was planted, and my stance was no longer on solid ground.

Then, about a year ago, I was looking at my marriage license (I needed it for insurance) and I said to myself, "Self, this looks a lot like a contract." And I thought about what marriage is, what is agreed upon, who is responsible for what, and realization dawned: this doesn't just look like a contract, this is a legally-binding contract between two individuals!"

The continued illegality of gay marriage is a clear violation of what is known as the "liberty of contract", which is the right of two or more individuals to enter into a contract with each other. The liberty of contract was normal practice from the late 19th century until around FDR's presidency, when the SCOTUS began to take away the rights of citizens to contract with one another.

Today one might argue that contracts don't cover illegal acts. This is true. You can't contract to kill someone, as murder is illegal. But murder is illegal because it causes harm to another person. Gay marriage is illegal, and no contract today can protect it. But what harm does gay marriage cause? Even if a man and a woman are married, that has little to no effect on the fact that I am married to a woman and we have a teenaged son. Two men or two women marrying don't affect my family any more than a traditional couple does.

The fact that marriage is a legal contract, one that should apply to gays as well as non-gays as it does no harm to anyone's personal liberties and freedoms and, in fact, promotes individualism and liberty, should be the least of the reasons to legalize it. The fact that it has has no quantitative adverse affects on society as a whole should be one of the major reasons to legalize it. The main thought should be that we, as a society, have to move past the thinking that only a man and a woman could possibly love each other and want to live out their lives publicly displaying that love as a married couple.

The "it's against God" argument is fallacious. In Leviticus (of the Jewish Torah and Christian bible) the laws against homosexuality are thus:

18:22 Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.

20:13 If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

If one believes what the bible says, as I do (mostly, but that's another story ), then homosexuality is against God. However, context is king here. Those two scriptures are describing the very infancy of humans on Earth. It's difficult at best to "be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth" if humans aren't procreating. Fundamentalists often point to Paul the Apostle as speaking against homosexuality. However, the word didnt even enter the Christian bible until the early 1970's. In the original text he talked about "sexual immorality", which could be any of a number of things.

Love and devotion between two people, whatever their gender, should be promoted and held up as an example of morality and family values. Traditional couples have proportionally more divorces and instances of cheating than do gay couples, and I find those acts far more deleterious to "family values" than two people of the same sex marrying.

I know several people that are proudly gay. And I will stand with every one of them to promote their absolute right of entering into the marriage contract, as well as their human right to love each other and live publicly as a married couple, promoting the values of liberty, devotion, and family stability that all people should have.

/TOA

I am fine with gay marriage
btw, good luck haha

I am not fine with gay couples adopting though
It's not that I have anything against gays it's just that I feel a mother and father are needed
that's just my opinion though

and I think gays in the military is beyond stuipid
not because I think gays shouldn't be soldiers but because i'm anti-war
and gays screaming "Hey let us illegally invade countries and kill civilians too" just sound stupid to me

bad timing
my two cents

Marriage is for Squares. It only follows that Squares get married. What is the meaning of marriage? How did it get there? You can't explain that... Look into my eyes and tell me you love me.

reply to post by The Old American


I too am for gay marriage! Why should they be spared the misery the rest of us have to suffer.

reply to post by ModernAcademia


> Im gay and i know people who have fully functioning families with two same sex parents. I myself plan to adopt, that is after i find a boyfriend that lasts for more than two years o.e

It's been OK for me since the 70's that means more women for the normal guys

Originally posted by ModernAcademia
I am fine with gay marriage
btw, good luck haha

I am not fine with gay couples adopting though
It's not that I have anything against gays it's just that I feel a mother and father are needed
that's just my opinion though

and I think gays in the military is beyond stuipid
not because I think gays shouldn't be soldiers but because i'm anti-war
and gays screaming "Hey let us illegally invade countries and kill civilians too" just sound stupid to me

bad timing
my two cents

I am quite OK with gay married couples adopting. Since being gay is overwhelmingly found to occur in nature, and thus could be said to be genetic, it's unlikely a child will "grow up to be gay".

As far as the military goes, I agree that nobody in their right mind should join the military right now, I believe it to be ridiculous that gays can't openly join. I can sympathize on the side of the macho "real men" will make life hell for them, but they know this going in. They should be able to take care of themselves, just like their taking care of their squad mates.

I also believe women should be allowed in combat roles (for a host of reasons that are completely off topic).

Thanks for your input!

/TOA

Originally posted by spw184
>

Im gay and i know people who have fully functioning families with two same sex parents.

I'm straight and I know straight couples that are just so happy
until we found out otherwise

You don't know what goes on behind closed doors
I'm not at all suggesting they will do bad things to the child, please don't interpret that

But a baby needs a father figure and a mother figure

You know how many people living in ghettos complain of not having a fatherly role model?
How is a lesbian couple going to teach the kid to play fastball?
How is a lesbian couple going to teach a kid how to shave?

the list goes on and on
How would a father explain girls getting their periods to a little girl? She would feel so uncomfortable

and i'm only scratching the surface here

reply to post by The Old American


Change your ways and ways of thinking or change your christian status; you can't have both better yet.. read the bible from cover to cover.................

reply to post by The Old American


Beautifully put, sir. I only wish more people shared your views. Many of the points you made above are the exact same things the homosexual community has been trying to share for quite some time

Originally posted by TsukiLunar
Marriage is for Squares. It only follows that Squares get married. What is the meaning of marriage? How did it get there? You can't explain that... Look into my eyes and tell me you love me.

Squares? Daddy-O, that word went out with the cat's pajamas! Other than that, I really can't comment on your ramblings.

/TOA

Originally posted by TsukiLunar
Marriage is for Squares. It only follows that Squares get married. What is the meaning of marriage? How did it get there? You can't explain that... Look into my eyes and tell me you love me.

Where are from...the fifties: Squares? Really? Or is that term making a comeback now?

What happens behind closed doors, I don't care.

Originally posted by whaaa
reply to post by The Old American

 

I too am for gay marriage! Why should they be spared the misery the rest of us have to suffer.

LMAO! Great response!
And...true. So, so true.



/TOA

reply to post by The Old American


You forgot to say, White, Middle Class, and Employed. I am all of those things as well, and I support Gay Marriage. In fact, I support all legal unions between couples even if they are not homosexual. I think Old Widow Ladies should be able to form legal unions to care for one another and arrange benefits and healthcare.

I believe there was a time when Married, Heterosexual, Child-Rearing couples were preferred by the governments for good reasons, and giving special privilege to those couples made good sense. Those days are gone now, and we should extend the legal conveniences of marriage to any couple that wants it.

Originally posted by The Old American
it's unlikely a child will "grow up to be gay".

I don't think so either
That's not a concern

A child should rely on their parents for everything without using the system or technology
a gay couple adopting is not the equal of a straight couple

Imagine gay couples in the USSR when the USSR broke down
people fighting outside for loafs of bread
How in the world would a gay couple find breast milk in that environment?

Not an option, do not harm children no matter how great your intentions are

reply to post by The Old American

But what harm does gay marriage cause? Even if a man and a woman are married, that has little to no effect on the fact that I am married to a woman and we have a teenaged son. Two men or two women marrying don't affect my family any more than a traditional couple does.

This is what I eventually realized too. Gay couples and gay marriage don't hurt anyone and I have trouble understanding why people care. Even if you're creeped out by it does it really have even the slightest impact on your life?

I was pretty homophobic until I found out a few of my coworkers were gay and realized they weren't sex crazed man rapers, just nice ordinary guys that happen to be attracted to guys. Took me awhile to grow up on that one I guess. Now a persons sexual orientation doesn't bother me at all (except for the gays or straights that try to shove it in your face).

I am a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

So you see even if I was gay I'd still want to be with a woman..

It funny how many people don't get that joke or read entirely too much into it.

Seriously, or as close as I can be, nearly half of all marriages end in divorce.

Why should gay and lesbians couples not be as miserable as the rest of us?

With al respect to your opinion, I don't hate gay people but gay marriage is wrong in my opinion.

You should review the definitions of your religion, seems to be a conflict with what you are saying. Christianity and gay marriage don't go together.

I am christian too, I don't find Brad Pitt attractive but Angelina Jolie is hot.

Originally posted by ModernAcademia

Originally posted by spw184
>

Im gay and i know people who have fully functioning families with two same sex parents.

I'm straight and I know straight couples that are just so happy
until we found out otherwise

You don't know what goes on behind closed doors
I'm not at all suggesting they will do bad things to the child, please don't interpret that

But a baby needs a father figure and a mother figure

You know how many people living in ghettos complain of not having a fatherly role model?
How is a lesbian couple going to teach the kid to play fastball?
How is a lesbian couple going to teach a kid how to shave?

the list goes on and on
How would a father explain girls getting their periods to a little girl? She would feel so uncomfortable

and i'm only scratching the surface here

Many, many children grow up without both parents. Some aren't lucky enough to have either one. If your argument is that same-sex couples wouldn't be able to... explain things to their children? Just seems idiotic, no offense. Parenting is much more than only teaching; It's empathy, love, guidance, patience, and a lot more. Why would the girl feel uncomfortable bringing it up to her parents if they have a very open loving relationship and trust is there? You don't think a lesbian couple can teach a kid to shave?

Sigh.