How does facebook affect your personal life?

Wow, it is so refreshing to hear this, I just had a huge blow out with the GF over this today, well..... not just today, but like every other day, for the past ten months since she got an I-Phone. I can't stand it any more. I hear that damn alert chime, and want to explode, and make everything else around me explode as well. She can't put that thing down for a second. I just can't take it any longer. We will be sitting together in a conversation, and not even two minutes later, the phone chimes, and the conversation goes the way of the wind. She completely forgets what we were talking about. We have been together for five years, and this is what is ruining us. I'm about ready to give her the ultimatum as well. I have tried to explain to her it has become a problem, but she will not listen, and her friends all got one, and tell her all this BS about me being jealous of the phone, and not having facebook access 24/7.... "OH PLEASE!" Facebook could crash tomorrow, and I would be the happiest man on earth, (sad isn't it?) I think this whole social network thing has gotten way too out of hand in this crazy world...
Quality time for us in a week = five hours tops?? I want to say..
Quality time between her and her #ing phone? = ALL THE REST OF HER TIME!
Do I sound crazy, or is something wrong with me since I'm not plugged in like all the rest of the zombies!

It's not the social network anyone is jealous of,but the attention it gets,that you want.

Be honest now..

Just thought I'd chime in...

Facebook has caused fights, misunderstandings, family arguments, and people cutting each other off, in my circles.
Facebook, and even texting has caused me tons of trouble.. because you cannot get all the info you need from words. So much of communication is tone of voice, intonation, or even non verbal, all of it makes a huge difference.
Ending a text conversation with 'fine' or 'fair enough' can sound so bad, depending on how sensitive the person receiving the messages is.. Facebook is exactly like that, but magnified!

And don't even get me started on the 'you didn't like my comment/post on my wall for my birthday/comment on my new photo' stuff.... I've been part of, and witnessed so many genuine arguments, leading to people not talking to each other for months because of this BS.

Back when people just phoned each other, instead of leaving stuff on each others walls, at least you could hear if someone was hacked off/excited/worried.. rather than guessing.
They invented smileys, or emoticons, or whatever they're bloody called these days, to try and counter those exact problems... but even widespread use of those doesn't help you decipher most of it.
Especially when someone tells you ''I can't believe you didn't realise it was a sarcastic smiling face!"

reply to post by glen200376


appearances are just one thing, and less important. In the end you have to live with a person's character. Thank you for your rather bold compliment..i don't concider my self being exeptional. every man and woman is beautiful, we just have different tastes.

I mean if you take a step back, and look at our society in a broader perspective, addictions linking to new technology has greatly risen.
when i was five, i was content playing outside in the sun with ants and sticks and stones.
Now kids want a ipod touch/DS/PSP etc for their 5th birthday. They're GLUED to that regardless of what they're doing, (during dinner, washroom, recess, etc. ) and rarely see sunlight. Is it a bad thing? Not neccessarily, but that depends on the very light you see this issue in.

Sorry about your marriage OP, as others have said, your ex must be a fool to leave you you deserve better!

I do use Facebook often, most days, as all my family use it too and live a long way from me. I moved from my home town a long time ago and still have childhood friends etc there.

I have seen SO many problems occur on there with relationships, and I know of at least 2 couples who have split, mainly over jealousy that things happened...when actually they didnt happen at all. But that is how it goes on there.

I've been using the net for just over 10 yrs now, quite addicted to it, use it for everything from my business, to shopping, banking,my website.. you name it....

reply to post by bencee


Were you really content to play outside with ants, sticks and stones??? Cmon, you HAVE to be kidding there



(sorry no offence, but surely???)

Originally posted by Qouth The Raven
It's not the social network anyone is jealous of,but the attention it gets,that you want.

Be honest now..

if you are trying to be funny, it's just not happening. this is a serious issue, and if you have nothing insightful to add, stay the h ell off of this thread. This stuff is actually ruining some lives out there, and if you have no clue what I am talking about just go ahead and stay plugged into your little zombie freak world, and stay out of ours.

Areille sorry the SH@% you went through with that Facebook thing! Wow! Sounds like your ex may have some kind of addictive personality perhaps. I wish you luck and hapiness in your future. Luckily I don't do facebook, wasnt interestered in it after friendster and myspace. Don't do it because I like to keep a low profile. Its bad enough probably some of my pictures are tagged from when I went on vacation and my70 y/o mother listed me as her child with, of course my last name posted on there UGH! Sometimes I want to join cause all of my friends are on threre, plus my family overseas, and that's pretty much how everyone keeps in touch but I really don't want to go there. My hubby goes on facebook sometimes to keep in touch with friends overseas, but one day he declared "I hate facebook" and rarely goes on there now......

I love the excuse that nearly all of the facebook supporters use. I use it because it's the only way I can keep in touch with friends and family. Hmm interesting correct me if I'm wrong but isn't their inventions called telephones? Even the monitor you are staring at now has a box connected to it which provides things such as e-mail, skype and a multitude of other things to keep in touch with some one other than FB or any other social networking site? Oh wait I'm sorry you had to create a FB to find all of these long lost people in your life, Well congratul Fu@&$ng lations you succeeded so get a number to call, an e - mail to write to, an address to send some snail mail to or even *gasp* visit and get the F offf of FB. Oh wait I'm sorry that would be to hard and require actually living in the world instead of you internet paradises .................. Pretty sad my friends. Also my FB aficionados riddle me this how many off those friends and family do you actually talk too? I mean converse with not just read all of their stupid posts and push like or leave an emoticon response? That's what I thought.

The thing that everyone fails to see is that why you think that face book is connecting you with that best friend who moved away that one summer day 10 years ago or your drunk uncle Marty who loved you but the family black sheeped after he ruined his umpteenth weeding with his drunken shenanigans is only (the far majority) of the time temporarily bringing you "closer" or "together". In actuality all its doing is alienating you from not only these people but the real world and a little thing that Prince and the new power generation like to call life. Wake up my friends.

OP I'm horribly sorry for your loss, but trust me you are better off. The internet for all its pluses can be ten times as detrimental and is just as addictive and destructive as drugs and alcohol. If your ex husband was anywhere near as bad as you claim then you should be counting your blessings everyday. It seems clearly obvious that not only was he addicted to the internet but was also (by his actions and the others of these "lady friends") cheating on you, so forge ahead with your head held high and consider yourself blessed for not staying in an abusive relationship with an addict who was clearly not ready to take the steps which he needed to save his marriage and more importantly himself.

Trowa

reply to post by TrowaBarton


You are totally right, there is the telephone, and texts, and emails..but Facebook is free lol
Skype is deffo not for me, I cant stand to have my pic taken let alone chat face to face on cam! I also have a stutter so I prefer to write. I also get tongue tied.

It also has the bonus of a chat system on there too. Its ok if you dont get grabbed in by it all, and spend all day watching for updates, post what you are having for dinner, and sit playing games all day. I don't mind it myself, I have seen problems happen, people tend to rant on there about everything and everything, and post way to much info for my liking. I don't really post much on there, I usually get a notification on my mobile when someone has messaged me, and its got the chat feature on my mobi too, so I can just go on there when someone wants to chat. For free

I have never downloaded any of the apps, and my personal info isnt on there, neither are any personal statements..I also am not one of these people who airs their dirty washing on there, nor do I post when the house is going to be totally empty! Which I have seen, and posted that might not be a good idea to write...

It depends what you use it for I guess. Im not interested in an online relationship, my RL one is great, tho my OH hates Fb, Twitter and such, but it doesnt bother him that I log onto chat to my friends, and both our families.

I also deleted quite a lot of people, mostly 40+ year old males who seem to be going thru some sort of 'I need to know I am fanciable' episode in my life. Very strange that...but I suppose they feel they can get away with it, because they are not actually 'meeting' anyone physically. Had a few of those over the past couple of years...bit of a shock really as I knew them years ago and wouldnt have expected it really.

It does have good and bad points, I use it for good and enjoy it when I do. I cant afford to ring my cousins in Fort Providence (from the UK) and I cant text them, there are a few countries we still cant text from here. Its easier to have instant chat, especially as some cant/wont install MSN.

I deleted my Facebook.
On a side note, I plan on getting rid of Internet access at home. I will only use it at the workplace, because I am addicted.

Whats more destructive than FB on the computer? Talking to somebody while they FB, Tweet and Text on their phone. I really don't understand why people even go out anymore if half of your attention is focused on a small little screen that fits in your palm.

I once left a dinner because the person was texting constantly..I told her if it was going to be a chat date I would have stayed home , ordered a pizza , had 6 beers, watched some youtube, instead of paying 100+ bucks to sit with the socially inept robot across from the dinner table at a nice restaurant.

I firmly believe 1 day without cell phone access would incite chaos thats the sad part.

Anyways I digress...

First off allow me to express how sorry I am that this happened to you.

I believe Facebook was created so big brother can watch our every move where else
would we put out very intimate details of our life so people can monitor our every move.
It's like they feel obligated to do so.
It is like a trance ....or brain washing of sorts that happens to a person on facebook I have witnessed
this in my immeidate family.

I can tell you personally I had become addicted to playing games through facebook at a point
the beginning of this year ...where it was disrupting my whole being I didn't think of anything else but getting onto
facebook before my crops withered and died and my husband was also addicted.Thankfully now
we don't see things as we did a few months ago I don't know what changed, but it was mutual for us both and it happed almost the same day.

I am on facebook as is my husband I talk to my family via facebook mostly. I see the same 20 people who are
my friends constantly posting EVERY intimate personal detail of their life so if my 20 friends are doing it then someone elses 20 friends are brain washed doing it how easy it is for big brother or whom ever to keep tabs on people ....its a mind game we are being programed and not being aware of it happening.
Best wishes to you!

reply to post by Ariele


Ariele, thanks for sharing your story. Sorry to hear you(and the others who have chimed in) have had to go through this. As I use a phone or, gods forbid, actually go and see my friends I had no need for FB after finding a couple of friends from past lives. That lasted a few days and I dumped it and have never felt a need to go back. That's just me, though.

This part, for me, is hard to grasp:

He didn't try. At ALL! once he got so agressive that he hit me, when we were in a bed. I tried to take his computer out of his hands and put it away so i could make love to my husband. it was a big mistake.

I gotta take it when I can get it, which is few and far between, so last year I had sex with my ex-gf even though I really didn't want to go there(it always turns into a problem).For me it might be years before it happens again and here's a guy hitting his wife because FB is more important to him. I cannot fathom that. Hitting your wife because she wants to have sex with you is bizarre enough, but over FB?

Crikey, I can readily admit I'm a lousy boyfriend but that kind of behavior takes a "special" kind of guy.

OP,

First off I am sorry about what you had to go through.

I think regardless of the medium of communication a person with obsessive/compulsive disorders is going to find an outlet, in this instance it was FB.

People have to want to change, or to be in a relationship.

The only person we have control over is ourselves, and that is difficult enough, so don't beat yourself up. It's sounds like he lost out really big and one day will realize his error, and hopefully he can grow from his mistakes.

Be the best you can be, enjoy life and what you do life is too short.

Peace out,

RT