Top ten myths about introverts

I am going to read thru this whole thing later, but I have been an introvert since day one.

I am able to function in normal society, but I have to keep reminding myself to do so, does that make sense?

Yeah, I am not good at small talk. But I can do it because that is what people do.

And yes I would rather live in the woods or on a farm and go to town once or twice a month and interact with people then but otherwise just be by myself and think or daydream. But I can't.

I suggest reading the book "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime"

I hope I got the title correct.

reply to post by feather3socks


That is an excellent book! I really enjoyed it, and it gives a very interesting view into the mind of an autistic person!

But on the introvert thing, it wasn't long ago I found a very precise description of what it means and was releived to finally see something other than the usual "introverts are shy, non-social people with low self esteem" . Because I am rather introverted, but have no lack of self esteem, and love being around people!
But I think deeper, I am always digesting on a deeper level everything I am picking up with my senses- I am making connections, looking at patterns, filing away information.... and it all serves me in later decision making processes!
My husband hoards things, I hoard memories, thoughts, ideas, in my head. He uses all this stuff in creating works of art or useful stuff later- I use all those ideas and thoughts in forming my opinions and choices of action later.

I just am not into small talk. If people want to talk about more deeper or important issues I have lots to say!
I also think rather highly of myself, but just don't have any need for others to recognize or acknowledge my qualities- if I know, that is enough for me.

This is a good list and it makes sense, but it makes me question myself.

The people I work with think I'm and extrovert, my family think I'm introverted.

I've always kinda been two different people tho.

hmmm..

I believe most introverts (including myself) would agree with what the OP posted. The big question is though, how do we get the world to see us in a different way? You could say the media pushes the 'extrovert' agenda haha! I can't remember the last time an introvert was shown in a good light in any recent media.

And by the way, great post. Starred!

Once upon a time I was a corporate trainer, for call centers. I taught new hires stuff like how to do AOL Tech Support, or how to take calls for Time Warner Cable. Part of this job required "personality testing". In theory it was to help your supervisor determine the best way to interact with you. In practice, it was useless among the sea of small minds and even smaller attention spans that represented my corporation.

The test we use was the PDP test, breaking you into various measurements in the four following categories:

- E - Extrovert: outgoing, talkative, showman

- C - Control: organization, assertiveness

- P - Pace: ability to stay on task, follow direction

- D - Dominance: alpha personality behaviors, leadership

I was determined to be a "High E", making me a perfect fit for a trainer. And at that time, it was a great description of me

But reading through your list of what makes an introvert, it is obvious that this is what I am. To the point of friction sometimes, as people see me as aloof.

I spend so much time in my own thoughts that often, when i respond to a question posed, it is an unexpected answer. This makes me seem strange to others.

Oh well....if i had an ego to speak of i may be concerned.

-

Being an introvert, I can see myself described in the list. I do come across as "not making an effort..." to get to know new people. The most difficult thing for me is small talk, god I just hate it.

reply to post by Taffygirl


Always better to have a few good friends than hundreds of shallow friends. I may have very few friends, but friends that would lie for me, pick me up, house me, or lend me money if asked. On the flip side, my sister has 300 "friends" and she can't depend on them to drive 5 minutes to pick her up.

Originally posted by starwarsisreal
That's quite true of me really. I'm just forced to act like an extravert due to constant pressure and social expectations.

My situation exactly.

I'm a proud introvert. I'm actually INTP on MB.

The most irritating and incorrect attribute that isn't listed on your list OP is introverts are sneaky and sly. People actually think I have something horrible to hide when the reality is, I just want to hide from them.

It's odd but people who tend to accept me for me are the people I have the most interest in interacting. Exreme extroverts make me very tired.

I'm am no doubt an introvert. Offline and online. I have a facebook but mainly to keep in touch with my kids. I like ATS but tend to make comments here and there and usually avoid the back and forth debates which IMO usually regurgitates the same things.

My family consider me a hermit and have been called party pooper on many occasions. It isn't that I don't like to go out, it's just that I like to keep a low profile. I will not go out of my way to make people like me.

You either like me or you don't.

reply to post by AdamAnt
I can't thank you enough for your post. I am an extrovert who married an introvert. The list you posted is so correct. Myth #5 made me laugh. We have gone through that scenario quite often in our marriage. Attending a wedding, I am happy to stay and chat forever, while my husband is ready to go home right after the ceremony. My husband is the most kind man who is interesting and well thought out, willing to go above and beyond to help someone in need but on his comfort level. I would love to send this list to his family and mine so they could truly understand that he is not a stick in the mud, he just is who he is.

I scored INTP on the briggs-myers test for years.

In the last year or so I've been showing up as an ENTP.

It seems I may have the ability to flip back and forth between an introvert and an extrovert.

I'm pretty much slightly bi-polar and have cycles within cycles of either recharging alone, else expending tons of energies with other people.

Sometimes I can't stand but small interactions in a social setting, and other times I crave the attention and fun of a large gathering for days or even weeks on end.

It really does depend on my short and long cycling swings in temperament.

Originally posted by rexusdiablos
Good grief.

Yet another "If this describes you then you're a rare flower" thread. Come on folks. Introversion is circumstantial and it's likely that everyone can describe themselves as such given the right social conditions and scenarios.

I dislike the desperation of members so quick to cling to any set of definitions that makes them feel unique or part of an cognitive/emotional/spiritual elite.

I can hear the desperation and thought process: "Oh, I always knew I was different and/or that I might be the one".

Please. You're equipped with everything you need to achieve your unique potential. Stop looking for subgroups and notions to define who you are.

Aside from all this, some introverts are so due to underlying neurosis and trauma. The OP is far too absolute.

edit on 12/8/2011 by rexusdiablos because: (no reason given)

For someone only here a little under 2 years, I'm not saying i've been here any longer, you sure do speak as if you've witnessed every thread throughout the ages.

No one here is claiming to be a rare or unique flower, I didn't see anyone claiming to not be equipped with potential to be unique. Besides, what defines who you are is mostly what you and others think about you. So "subgroups" and "categories" are pretty much what makes you, you. You are the addition of every 'class' you fit into, since you fit into those classes! Does that make sense?

I've know for a long time that I'm an introvert, despite usually being the focus of a group (usually smaller than 3 people, more than that and I stop talking), and actually raising my hand in class alot (I noticed someone mentioned that). I think alot of people think, as with OPs post and with what I saw a few posters describing themselves as, that introvert means you are constantly in an emotional shell and usually a physical one too, a house. You never talk, or do anything, or like anyone. Which is not the case. I love speaking in class, I love talking about subjects I like. When it comes to leisure chat, I hate it. Unless I have a specific point, or subject, or topic, to get across and it's something I enjoy I don't see a reason to communicate. Why would I waste my breath, just to usually end up bickering, over pointless mumbles that have nothing to do with anything at all? When I'm only with 1 or 2 people, as I usually am, we tend to hold quite long conversations. As we tend to discuss important topics, at least important to us, and my interest is held.

I do go outside, I go to the park, I go walk through trails. But I do not go to parties, or loud occasions with many people. Not because I am afraid of them, it's just simply too much going on at once.

There, enjoy my pointless paragraphs lol

Originally posted by xxsomexpersonxx
You're fighting stereotypes with stereotypes. It's taking bad stereotypes and replacing them with good ones.

Majority of introverts have a few of those "myths", along with a good chunk of non-introverts. And not all of those "non-myths" apply to every introvert too.

Of course, everyone has an introverted side and an extroverted side. Just because someone has one side bigger, doesn't make them have any other traits too.

~
If I were writing the article, I'd make it about how to understand these people, whose minds work different. Not just taking the negative assumptions, and making good assumptions instead, but instead making no assumptions and knowing how to see from a different persons mental perspective

AMEN!!!!! Being around loud, dumb, people exhausts the hell out of me. For the love of God, stop talking!!! The vast majority of people drive me nuts. It's not that I hate them, I just don't get them. Listen once in a while instead of flapping your gums and use some commonsense. Done!

reply to post by AdamAnt


S+F

I want to thank you so so so much for posting this! I knew of the term 'Introvert' but somehow I just thought it meant someone who didn't like leaving the house... How wrong I was!

For months or maybe even years my partner, family and even one of my closest friends have been asking me to see a doctor because they believe I am suffering from depression, and they thought I should try some meds for it. I didn't believe that was the case and even if it was, like I was going to go pour my heart out to a complete stranger! (Doctor)

It has been all my life I have had to try extra hard just to feel like I fit when everybody else seems to do it naturally..

Reading this made me grin from ear to ear, it describes me 'to a tee'. Knowing that there is nothing 'wrong' with the way I act and feel is such a load off. I am not unwell, I am not depressed, I am not a shut-in, I am not a loner....
I am an introvert.

I cannot thank you enough for bringing this to my attention, you have genuinely made my year. I can stop being ashamed.

Off to research more into this

I'm a total extrovert, but I love my introvert friends. My wife is an introvert, and I value what she brings to our life together. I don't think I could be married to someone that's like me. It'd be too intense.

Wow, that list applies to both me and my husband. However our daughter is an extravert and we have some problems coping with the personality differences! We sit at home and debate our views and beliefs and we don't have many friends and when they have been here, we are glad that they have left, as we like our daily routines and our own companies!

I am an introvert

I don't know how many times I have been accused of being a creep, stalker, rapist, pedophile or a serial killer, only because I don't say much.

Why does my being quiet instantly mean I am any of those. To me all it means is that I had nothing important to say, and didn't see the point of getting involved in an conversation about something meaningless. Or the topic was about something I really don't have any knowledge of, cars, a certain video game, a certain band or what ever, and I didn't feel like admitting my ignorance on such a topic, or don't really care it to begin with.

So what if I can be sitting next to you for hours and not say anything. I am lost in thought. What I am thinking about is bound to more interesting than any conversation.

Thats not say I am adverse to social interaction at all, it just has to be something that I have knowledge about and interests me.
I often enjoy a good discussion about theology, politics, and science. Unfortunately its rare to find someone with an interest in these topics. And even I find someone that shares such interest, it is often frowned about by social norms to talk about them.

Reading a book, surfing the web, playing video games, or just sitting and thinking is a thousand times more fun,to me than going out and socializing.

I also am unable to make any emotional interaction to another human being.
Love and friendship to me are foreign idea's.
I feel I have either schizoid personality disorder or suffer from negative symptoms of schizophrenia. (Negative meaning symptoms that take away from the personality, cognative functioning, and ability to perceive reality.)

reply to post by FreezingVoid


I feel your pain. When I tell people I don't watch sports, they look at me like I am a three horned alien! A guy that doesn't like sports? Are you gay? No I am not, I just don't think grown men chasing a ball around for a few hours takes any real intelligence, and I see no reason for them to be making millions of $. To me it is a messed up sense of importance to our existence. I think our country and humanity would be better served paying teachers millions of $$ for teaching our children. Maybe then they would get a quality education. our priorities are way screwed up. But then again, I guess that's why so many TV shows and movies are geared towards the extroverts. Us introverts don't really support any of fit.