Top ten myths about introverts

Describes me well, for the most part.

Except number 9, whereas it says introverts aren't thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies.


I am an adrenaline junky and thrill seeker. I just don't always have the cashflow to due it as much as I'd like to.

Honestly, the only things I really look forward to in life is stuff like rock climbing, theme parks, skydiving, driving fast, extreme sports, etc.

Originally posted by D1ss1dent
I stay away from superficial (and thus insignificant) people.
I prefer silence. It's Much more nourishing.

edit on 12-8-2011 by D1ss1dent because: (no reason given)

That list is incredible accurate.

As for "i prefer silence": It depends - fact is that 99% of people *are* incredible superficial/insignificant/non interesting (for introverts/me)..means there is no DESIRE to communicate. The list is spot on in how we HATE small talk and communication about "nothing" (or what we consider boring etc.)...however even the "introvert" gets HUGE kicks out of it if he finds that one person where he can actually engage in INTELLIGENT conversation, philosophy etc..etc...

The extrovert gets kicks from social gatherings where the highlights are superficial blah blah - which for an introvert is not even *remotely* interesting.

I was always labeled an introvert like it was a bad thing - which it was, to the average soocialite prostitute. If there's nothing important to say, don't open your mouth

I like that list a lot. I am introverted. For example: I work with a lot of extroverts and they just don't get me. They cannot go to lunch by themselves it would kill them and they'd feel lonely. I don't have a problem with going to lunch by myself or with a group. Sometimes I just need that alone to escape and go to lunch by myself it feels good to me. I don't feel lonely doing it.

I don't go out of my way to have conversations with them unless it's something I'm interested in. They go out of their way to have small talk chat. I guess I come across as aloof, quiet, or stuck up. I'm none of those things. I'm just focused on what I'm doing at the moment.

reply to post by AdamAnt


I think that whole list is completely missing the point about the difference between extroverts and introverts. Let me give you an example:

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days

When I took the Myers Briggs course the instructor separated us into two groups. He then left the room for about 15 minutes. When he came back one group was quiet and withdrawn, looking at their notepads, phones, etc. The other group was talking and laughing and some were wildly gesturing with their arms during conversations, that sort of stuff. He then sat everyone down and picked a person and asked him what his favorite activity was (it was bicycling). He then asked him to describe it and he quietly talked about how much he enjoyed it, how he did it every chance he got, etc. He then picked someone else and asked him the same thing; in his case it was motorcycles and he excitedly described it, could barely stay in his seat, arms flying all over the place as he described his passion. After that was done he told us that we had just witnessed the difference between E's and I's in two different exercises. We didn't even know the two groups he had separated us into were E's and I's (I'm sure you can guess which was which based on the description I gave), and we didn't know the two people he had picked were picked precisely because one was an E and the other an I. The difference between E's and I's is not that they don't talk about stuff that they're interested in as the OP implies, it's the WAY they talk about it.

E's are not better than I's or vice versa. Understanding the difference is the path to better communication, that's what Myers Briggs is all about. Different people function differently and in order to interact with and work with people you have to understand them so you can meet them on their terms. That is the whole point of personality typing, to help us learn about each other.

As a side note, I'm an ENFP and I've noticed that whenever these conversations come up the vast majority of forum participants state that they are I's. It seems that I's like to communicate via electronic means while E's prefer face-to-face communications. Keep this in mind if you're an I and your boss or client is an E, he/ she doesn't want to get a never-ending stream of emails from you, they want you to call or stop by

I think the majority of users here are introverts. We love deep discussion and over analyze a lot of things. My office is 90% women. It gets very irritating when they stop by my office to chit chat. I am not a chit chat person. If you have a problem, state it so I can fix it. If not, then stay in your world and leave me alone. I am social when I have to be, but don't like it. Once in a while I will take my wife to a concert, but only in a amphitheater where we can sit in the back lawn. I would venture to guess that most conspiracy theorists are introverts. It definitely speaks to our intellect.

As an introvert this list describes me really well. Obviously for some introverts some may not apply because there are different combinations of personality.

This list highly appeals to "Sheldon's Body Personality Theory," a very interesting theory where a person can be any combination of 3 body types that can describe any personality.

That list is me all over!
I often catch flak because i dont enjoy going out at weekends and getting hammered,and i am often told to "get a life"!
Also somedays i can be incredibly quiet and barely utter a word all day.On these occasions i am asked "what's up with you?",to which i reply,"Nothings up.I just dont have anything to talk about at the moment!"
I am firmly of the belief that if you dont have anything interesting to say,dont say anything!
Sometimes small talk just does my head in!

Thank You AdamAnt,
Throughout my life I have been pestered with the same intrusive questions. What's wrong? Are you ok? Why are you so quiet? Something must have happened? Don't be such a stick in the mud and so on. It was many years and decades that I wondered what was wrong with me. I avoid gatherings where large crowds are present. Except for NFL games which I have season tickets. But I can deal with that for a few hours at a time.

I had people at work constantly ask me why was I such a loner? I detest going out after work for drinks and general bs. It got to the point where I sought out professional help to try to understand why I was different from most of the people I know. What I learned was both facinating and liberating. I am an introvert and perfectly content being by myself. I enjoy small groups of people which I consider friends. I am 53 years old and can count my true friends on one hand. There is nothing wrong with that. Introverts charge their batteries by being alone. Extroverts charge their batteries by being out in large crowds.

Many women that I have dated would almost always end because I had a hard time opening up. I have to truly trust someone before I share myself with them. I had a hard time hearing people brag about whatever they were doing at the time. Some women do in fact like the strong silent type. You just have to know where to find them. I met my future wife at a picnic sponsered by the hair salon I was using at the time. My cousin worked there. My wife was ther with a friend who used that saoln. After sitting for a while in a small group including my cousin and my future wife some guys in that group were acting like all that. You know the type, 20 years old and full of bravado. Trying to impress the women by being macho. After about an hour of overbearing testerone laden hype my future wife turns to me and whispered the following question: I am sick and tired of these horny bull#ters, do you want to go somewhere quiet and have a drink or two? 33 years later I would say I made the right choice..

The woman I fell in love with and have been married to for 30 years is one of those women. She is outgoing and funny. She completely gets me. She has never forced me to go to events she know's I will be uncomfortable with. She is truly an angel. She is the main reason I sought therapy. I was the one who wanted it she did not push one way or the other. Neither one of us knew anything about the real reason I was and I am a loner. Once I understood that I was normal in a different way I could begin to tell people what I really was and proud of it. I used to shrugg off the typical questions seeming aloof and or arrogant.

When confronted with those questions now I answer with I am an introvert who does not enjoy large loud crowds. I wiil speak when I have something important to say. I do not engage in idle chatter. Most people respect that once they know that there are two personalities, extrovert and introvert.

Going one step further I was not only an introvert but I was also a passive personality. My thearpist trained me to be assertive. My boss is an extrovert and an aggressive personality. Naturally we did not see eye to eye most of the time. He used to constantly berate me and basically get in my grill over some of the most minor things. Once I learned that assertive trumps aggressive I took emotion out of every disagreement and went to bat with facts. I knew him better he knew himself and it would frustrate the crap out of him because I no longer would roll over and take it. The fact that I was his most productive employee and he knew that he would suffer if I left made it easier for me to react with hard information contrary to his opinion. Aggressive people just can't deal with the fact that anyone would question them. Knowledge is power, he no longer uses me to beat up on. He has moved on to another passive manager to be his whipping boy.

Thank's for putting this out there. We are normal just in a different way. I must agree with some of the post's in the fact that I too enjoy fast cars and the thrill of something exciting. Although I will never bungee jump I would love to fly in an F16 in afterburner mode. What a rush that must be.

Originally posted by majesticgent
I don't go out of my way to have conversations with them unless it's something I'm interested in. They go out of their way to have small talk chat. I guess I come across as aloof, quiet, or stuck up.

Classic introvert comment Introverts tend to internalize things and build giant mountains out of nothing. " I guess I come across as aloof, quiet, or stuck up". This is highly doubtful, it's more likely that they just see that you don't like chit chat so they move on to someone else. That doesn't mean they perceive you as stuck up, the reality is they probably didn't give it a second thought, or they may even perceive you as someone that's so serious about work that you don't want to be interrupted. They may even RESPECT you for not wanting to chit chat during working hours.

I think so many people have become extroverts to the extreme as it is considered to be the acceptable behavior of a "normal" person. This is one reason I've always been single, I can't stand constant babbling by most women trying to make small talk, the lame cheesy pick up lines, or the fake flattering. People have lost the ability to just shut their mouths and enjoy each other in other ways. All of my close friends, may they be few, are all on the quiet side. But when they talk, they produce substance.

reply to post by AdamAnt


Couldn't agree more. I don't hate social situations because of the individual people, I hate social situations because of the non-stop filler conversation. I don't want to talk about the weather or the newest trend. Is it not fair? Am I expected to?

Yes, to some extent. My mother is a social butterfly with way too many acquaintances. Every time I visit her, I have to be introduced to at least two new people. It's incredibly annoying because she's already told them about me (typical mother) and yet I really don't want to talk about myself. I also don't want to talk about the BS that people in those social circles want to talk about, and honestly, when they do talk about politics or society, I'm faced with the typical partisan talking points and (as a former student of Anthropology) some rather run-of-the-mill stereotypes about other countries, languages and cultures that I would tire myself out pointing out their inaccuracies and, from a social perspective, I would be seen as rude or know-it-all for correcting what they should already know.

Honestly, that is why I avoid social interaction to a large extent. If I go to a bar with friends, I'm supposed to talk about sports and getting effed up. I really don't care, it's the same pragmatic BS. Pragmatics is a fancy linguistics word for filler language that serves a social function beyond the literal meaning of the words spoken (ie, how are you? [nobody really wants to know], it's hot in here [turn down the air], etc.). Bar talk is just pragmatics to have a social circle jerk, if I could be so blunt. At the end, there was nothing said that had any substance whatsoever and if I were to say anything other than the norm, I would leave my interlocutors in the dust because they have no frame of reference to discuss other topics. (So, then I become preachy or opinionated).

The article is right, being introverted does make a person feel rather aloof, left-out, awkward, uncool, etc. It's because we find your incessant extroverted BS to be totally boring. When I was in high school, it was hard to fit in because I didn't talk about all that junk my peers did. What I talked about was considered weird and random. That's only because the weird and random things had real substance to them. Back then, I felt pressure to not be individualistic and act in a way that I might be accepted. Now, I find those people totally vapid and banal and have no desire to be like them whatsoever. My how the tables have turned.

I was gonna reply, but there are too many people here!
But seriously, I understand, as an introvert myself, and like all social categories, there are good and bad imo.
Whether it is social conditioning or just choice, there is value in both intro and extroverts. I personally feel that I can better cultivate creativity and a more expansive perspectives as an introvert, with less distraction, but that's just for me, and the same could prolly be argued for the extroverts too.

Peace,
spec

Great list, this is exactly how I feel about everything. Every bit of that list was so true. I've never understood the need people have to interct just for the sake of interacted. I love hanging out with a small group of friends when there is a purpose to the event.

Just to add to my previous post,i have recently been getting stick for failing to have a Facebook page!
More irrelevant small talk!

I have a separate thought relating to the intro/extra categories. When it comes to official doctrines and propaganda, would it not be the extroverts who toe the line and parrot the BS - not necessarily because they want to support the official narrative, but because of the social function of water cooler talk and mindless chit chat? I find that these sorts of chatter tend to be agreeable and pleasant, with no intent to ruffle feathers.

If that is the case, I would think that extroverts step into a social echo chamber that perpetuates the mundane and the propagandistic. The introverts would be more likely to seek out more information, reflect on it, and come to their own individual conclusions.

What do you all think?

*This works in more than one way. For example, take the war in Afghanistan. Republican and Democrat extroverts will probably share each party's consensus opinion on the war. Meanwhile, introverts in each party (and they are probably, by this theory, less likely to be "true" Rs or Ds) will stand out from the mainstream party views.

reply to post by AdamAnt


I don't particularly agree with the article in the OP, as someone else has already mentioned; you can't stereotype stereotypes.

People react differently in different situations, I've seen "Introverts" become the life and soul of the party when they have been in a social circle with people they are comfortable with.

Personally, I'm just a bit daft and will party with anyone...

Originally posted by scobro
Just to add to my previous post,i have recently been getting stick for failing to have a Facebook page!

More irrelevant small talk!

Your my new best friend, I hate Facebook with a vengeance!

I laughed so hard at many of these replies...because I've experienced them so many times myself.
People have always told me, or asked me, "Why are you so shy?" to which I respond, "I'm not shy, I just don't feel like talking." LOL and that's me being nice. I don't know, people just expect that we all have to be alike. I hate large crowds and attention, and gossip, and small talk, and...the list goes on. The few times I do speak to strangers or people I'm not very close with...they tell me I'm deep, and I always respond with..."Am...ohh...kay..." because a lot of what I say during those times is NOT deep...they're just remarkably shallow and don't read.

I have to admit though, and I think almost all introverts can agree with this, we are an arrogant bunch WHEN it comes to dealing with extroverts. We do tend to look down on them a bit, but they create the balance I guess. But good lordy, why must they yap so often? They're always talking, but never say a damn thing worth listening to.

I often get mistaken for someone is arrogant but thats not the case at all.
Classic introvert symptoms. A lot of women get offended that I don't always take their cues and/or try and sleep with them. Extrovert Women need attention but it takes more than mindless chatter to get me talking. Anyway I'm definitely the one at a time type but I did meet my current Goddess in a bar though she approached me. She is not an introvert lol and sometimes the thoughts going through her head seem rediculous to me but She has a heart of gold to match that hair and somehow it works and she's way smarter than she lets on. I help her understand things and herself and she helps me with people skills and organizes me socially. We seem to be very compatable biologically and that always helps too

Cheers fellow introverts and extroverts, may we make the world a better place together and failing that, lets get the F*&k Out! LOL

Best Wishes,

Frater