DCF wants my whole family to be tested for STD's

Last year we had custody of my wifes 2nd niece due to the fact that her mother and grandmother were found not fit to take care of her due to being hooked on drugs. The 5yo niece was here for a couple months and we decided to let another aunt take her due to the fact she had younger kids around her age. There are 4 of us that live in this house, my wife, me, a 14yo boy and a 20yo girl. Well yesterday we found out that the 5yo has genital warts...1st they said it was herpes, then yesterday changed it to HPV. I am mad...if i find out someone messed with her I'm going to hurt someone. I know there is other ways to get it but its rare.

Well now DCF is saying that whoevers care she was in in the past year WILL have to be tested for STD's. Thats everyone in our household, my crackhead sister in law and her daughter, and as well as two of her aunts families. I told the case worker that I WILL NOT BE TESTED and right away she said Why?, do you have something to hide. I was outrage that she would assume I had something to hide. I said you will not test me cause its against my rights and I wont be told what to do. Everyone has my back, I do not like my rights to be infringed on and I am going to fight this tooth and nail.

What can I do to protect myself from being tested. Can they get a court order? How can I fight that if they were to get one. Anyway, its a bunch of bull. All I know is that I was never alone with that girl and I never allowed myself to be in any type of situation to be alone with her. This family has a history of putting people in prison for false allegations. In fact once I was asked to help the child clean herself up after pooping and I said hell no I'm not ever putting myself in a situation where someone might say I did something. Anyway, what can be done to not be tested for a STD?

reply to post by lspilot6946


Well, all I can say is if it was to protect MY five year old little girl, (or niece, Im not sure what relation she is to you,) and to help discover who had been messing with her, I would do anything.

I agree with the case worker. You refusal makes you look guilty. And arguing about your rights doesnt make it seem more reasonable to me.

Well, if you have nothing to hide I would get tested so they can do their process of elimination. You not helping matters when all your doing is refusing.

reply to post by lspilot6946

Everyone has my back, I do not like my rights to be infringed on and I am going to fight this tooth and nail.

My advice...is that you don't make this situation a lot worse by refusing to get the test. I understand fully why you are against this, I get the principle of it. However, in this case, I think simply playing along is the best course of action to take. If you really don't have anything to hide then it will all be over soon enough. If you resist it "tooth and nail"...things wont go so smoothly, lets just put it that way.

This is not good...once DFS (Department of Family Services)...or in your case DCF, is involved it very rarely turns out good...at least in my opinion.

I have never had any involvement with them but my 4 sisters have had some run in with them and in every case it was a nightmare for my sisters. I understand what they are supposed to do and why there is such a organization...but I think there is a lot of B.S. that they can bring to a family.

Your circumstance is odd...I would think that getting tested should be no big deal...but I do understand also what a violation of privacy it must seem like too.

I think your going to find you are left with little choice in the matter...and without sacrificing your own dignity and complying with them...your going to find yourself in a huge mess. My advice is just let them test the family and work it out from there...a lawyer would be nice...but not everyone can afford one...so you do seem to have your hands tied.

I feel for you...good luck.

reply to post by Illusionsaregrander


Agreed.

The OP needs to get off of his high horse and willingly do whatever it takes... this is about the little girl, not himself.

Grow up.

reply to post by lspilot6946


You need to get tested and be vocal in your demands that all other partys be tested as well.

DFS is a part of the government you don't want to run afoul to. While it is possible that she got the warts innocently, the odds are against that and as a result, you should be adamant that all parties be tested immediately.

It is ironic that while the charter of DFS is to protect children, they spend half of their time seeking to reunite children with parents who have committed the most heinous acts neglect possible under this misguided notion of family reunification. Odd - they seek to break up families on the one hand and then force them back together on the other.

Either way, as a father who is responsible for the welfare of other children, you need to get out of this business to focus on that, not spend your time defending some right, how ever legitimate it is not to be tested. It is a battle you will ultimately lose.

reply to post by lspilot6946



Tough place you're in right now. I understand how you may be incensed by the request to be tested. If you are as serious about finding out who may have messed with your niece you should be tested. The State will put much effort into targeting you if you do not. An afternoon of your time vs. several weeks of stress, a warrant and then eventual testing, seems to me an easy choice if you can swallow your pride.

Good Luck

This is a bullet you can't dodge - For the child's sake just take the damn test!

reply to post by lspilot6946


I really do hate it when people say "If you have nothing to hide, then it why do you protest?" There are so many things that can wrong with these tests. But, I have to agree that it does make you look guilty in the eyes of those that think that these tests are infallible - those that hold your future in their hands, the government.

Recognizing that fact, the best thing for you to do is to submit to the test, in my opinion. Perhaps if you looked at it from the perspective that giving this test to all those that have been around the girl will help in identifying who has had "contact" with the girl will make it easier.

If it were me, I'd have two tests done... the one the government does and another privately done one with very strict chain of custody... just in case the government done one comes back "wrong". It will cost you in the immediate but look at it like insurance.

Get tested.
Bring a lawyer and a reporter, if possible.
Start to document every interaction you have with anyone involved in any way.
This will help protect you and your family from crazy people.

reply to post by subject x


That is excellent advice.

Every contact you have with these folks should be documented. Extemporaneous discriptions of phone calls are legal evidence in court. Letters and e-mails obviously should be kept and organized.

Think back to each and every conversation you have had, not only with the government, but potentially others (including family members whom you have limited trust in) in this matter and record it in a journal to the best of your ability. Go back retroactively and get it up to date and then maintain it.

Also, don't talk about this matter more than absolutely necessary. Not with gents in a bar, not with co-workers, not on this or other sites. As conversations can never be completely placed in a proper context, the best strategy is to avoid conversations that are related to a legal matter, period.

Write it all down, keep quiet about it and take the test

Keep the documentation for several years

You are probably the prime suspect now since you refused to take the test. Now their investigation will be focused around you and they will probably talk to neighbors about what kind of person are you. Once they gather enough evidence, they will get a warrant to test you so you might as well go ahead and submit to testing. You don't want them nosing around your job or friends. Even though you didn't do anything wrong, people will look at you like you did.

I know there is other ways to get it but its rare.

I am going to play the devils advocate here...because it sounds like you know there are other ways of contracting these type of diseases...then it would be safe to say that DFS knows that too right?

The fact that they want to test everyone does not indicate that they think sexual abuse is the cause...or have they said that? I am starting to think that you do sound like a guilty person...on a couple of angles...but again this is just my opinion.

Not choosing to help a child clean up their "accident" seems strange...at least to me...I know we live in a society that says we need to protect ourselves from false accusations...but really that would have been the last thing to cross my mind...especially with other adults there (or not there...doesn't matter) I am not liking the sounds of things...and the more I think about it the fishier it gets.

I think you need to take the test...and God help you if your guilty of doing something to that child...if your in the clear then God help you to prove it...either way...take the test and do what is right for the child...your pride will recover and if your truly innocent then there is nothing to worry about.

This is a "rule-out", and because the child was in your possession, they have to test you. They would like to "rule you out".

But you won't let them.

Originally posted by dolphinfan
Write it all down, keep quiet about it and take the test

Keep the documentation for several years

Take 2 tests. One given by the government, one given by a privately run facility expert in chain of custody.

So, to recap:

1.) Write everything down, back as far as you can remember.
2.) Keep quiet about the whole thing
3.) Submit to the government required test
4.) Research private labs expert in this field with stellar reputations (guaranteed it won't be one of the government contracted facilities)
5.) Get a second test from the private lab (preferably on the same day as the government test).

Originally posted by Iamonlyhuman

Originally posted by dolphinfan
Write it all down, keep quiet about it and take the test

Keep the documentation for several years

Take 2 tests. One given by the government, one given by a privately run facility expert in chain of custody.

So, to recap:

1.) Write everything down, back as far as you can remember.
2.) Keep quiet about the whole thing
3.) Submit to the government required test
4.) Research private labs expert in this field with stellar reputations (guaranteed it won't be one of the government contracted facilities)
5.) Get a second test from the private lab (preferably on the same day as the government test).

I don't want to be a spoil sport but what if I applied your same logic and method to a drug test...let's say for marijuana. Now you have given some good advice to someone that is truly protecting their personal interest but it fails in a case where I know that I have smoked a joint...if I am guilty...a hundred tests are not going to be any help. Independent or otherwise (unless I have a friend in the lab that would be willing to mask the results for me) but in a case of pure guilt...it is not going to matter.

Let's see how your advice is received...I think that should speak volumes to whether or not even a first test needs to be done...and if a second test is just going to provide more damning evidence.

I have yet to hear the OP say whether or not he has a sexually transmitted disease...and if so...what is it? That might speak volumes too...or does the OP know if he has a disease or not? Hmmm....this could be a ugly, ugly turn of events on the ATS main frame...in my opinion.

I don't see how you are going to get around having this test done without implying to them that you have something to hide. Just remember that this test is not about suspecting you, but eleminating you from the "suspect pool" so to speak. The quicker it is done, the quicker the investigation will move. Whoever hurt this little girl needs to be caught before they can hurt another child & you will be helping to achieve that goal.

I would however follow Iamonlyhuman's advice & have your own test done. I would also have them put it in writing that the only test being done is that one & that your DNA will not be stored or archived in any way.

Unless the test involves you getting an anal probe, I would say get tested. Plus it does make you look very very guilty when you switch the topic to your legal rights. That little girl is more important than ALL of you rights combined. Its time to MAN UP and stop bitching about your legal rights as a citizen.

Like Nike once said " JUST DO IT"

Just my 2 cents