Anxious and worried about the decision I have made for my son, regarding the MMR vaccination.

Hello all,

I've got a big black cloud hanging over my head at the moment, and whenever I'm reminded that it's there, I'm faced with feelings of guilt, anxiety and fear.

The problem is this: My son is approaching 2 and I still haven't taken him for his MMR vaccination. The initial reason for this, when it was first offered to him, was because like a lot of other mothers of babies his age, I felt he was too young and I wanted to delay it for at least 6 months or so.

However, as those months have gone by, I've read an abundance of horror stories about the nasty things that these vaccines contain and the dreadful things that they can do. It's not very reassuring either, when you hear that some countries have banned the vaccine altogether.

So it came to a point where I decided not to go through with the vaccine.

However, I'm wondering if I've made the correct decision for my son. A couple of things have made me question my decision. A few weeks ago, my son came down with a virus and wasn't himself for a few days - fever, no appetite and generally unwell and not his usual, happy self and a nasty rash all over his body. The Dr said it was "just a virus" and that he'd be back to normal in a few days - and he was. But it frightened me and made me think. What if it was measles or something equally as bad?

The other thing that has prompted me to write this thread today - in a conversation with my grandma on the phone last night, she asked me if my son had had his measles vaccine yet. I told her no, and she told me that measles is something that my grandad and my mother have both come down with VERY badly as children - so much so that they both ended up in hospital and suffered problems with their eyesight.

So now I'm understandably very worried. The thought of someone injecting that stuff into my beautiful little boy fills me with fear and anger and it makes me feel sick. I have always, always followed my gut instincts and my gut is telling me NO, don't do it, it's wrong. On the other hand, the thought of my beautiful little boy becoming extremely ill at the hands of what could be a very poor, irresponsible decision that I have made - well it just doesn't bare thinking about.

Can anyone who is well knowledged in this field offer me advice?
Am I doing the right thing?
What would you do?
Other parents - has your child had the MMR vaccine? What influenced your decision?

Thanks guys.

Only you can make this decision. I sympathise with you. May I suggest the following:

Do some massive research on vaccine statistics - not the government funded ones. More and more evidence is showing that vaccines not only do not prevent many dieseases, but they adversely affect the health of the child.

I had measles when I was a child. I hadn't been vaccinated. It was no big deal at that time. However some current health problems may be attributable to the polio virus I was given as a child. Get informed about alternative treatments for virus and bacterial infections, there is tons of information available for treatments which use very simple, natural effective and easily available products. Keep some at home.

I am not am expert...but I was given the MMR vaccine.
As was most children from my generation.
Well, if you were born in the early 80's like me, you probably did too.

I am not saying there is NO danger with vaccines.

I am just telling you that I am fine, so is my sister...and everyone I know.
Everyone I've talked to said the same thing.

I don't know why there is such a panic about these things.

But I am against the newest vaccines....for the flu, or etc.

So, In my humble opinion, you should take care of your son.
Plus, I believe you have to get them to send them to public schools now.
Not a proven fact, just a guess.

I have 2 children - age 6 and 2 - both of whom have had the MMR. Apart from being grotty the day after, there hasnt been any side effects at all. I am glad they are protected...measles is nasty.

Its also been in the news that Measles and Mumps etc are on the increase...personally i think its best to be safe.

I know autism has been linked to MMR vaccine, but i have a feeling this was down to one scientist writing in a journal, and has been shot down in flames by his brethren.

I wish they had come up with a vaccine for chicken pox - my 6 year old gave it to me when he was younger - made me look like "The Fly" for a couple of weeks

The potential side effects of the vaccines are FAR smaller than the potential complications of the diseases they prevent.

I think it's perfectly acceptable to delay on "new" vaccines - I don't want my daughter to have the HPV vaccine, and I didn't take them for the swine flu shot, etc. (they had already had direct exposure anyway). But on vaccines that have been around for many, many years and have eradicated diseases that used to kill children, I think you're throwing away a dollar to chase a penny (as my Texas relatives would say).

It has come to light that much of the anti-vaccine scary information was all false.

reply to post by KatieVA


There's probably a vaccine discussion forum you can join and discuss your concerns with other mothers who have made this difficult decision. I can't imagine being in your place. It would be a VERY difficult decision to make. Good luck to you...

Whatever you decide, you have to be confident in your decision. I chose to vax my kiddos. My last on a delayed schedule sorta, but only be cause swineflu xame and I refused to take my kids to the doc unless absolutely neccasary. At that time everyone was taking their kids for every sniffle.

I do however refuse any flu shots and chicken pox shots. The chicken pox made my son break out, and so my others did not recieve it. I had chicken pox. my mom "gave" it to me, lol.

reply to post by havok


Yes, I did as well, and am still fine. Im not sure about all laws, but I know in Ontario its required for children to have it before being enrolled in school (there are exemptions, im not sure what they include).

All my children have had the MMR with no disconcerting after effects.
You will scare yourself silly (and rightly so) worrying about what stuff goes into these vaccines but it was a decision I took as my father warned me about the horrors of when these diseases were rife amongst the populous. Kids going deaf, blind, sterile and dying. My dad's no fear mongerer, just an old school gent of 85 and I trust his opinion / experience.

Years ago when the whole MMR / autism scare came to light many parents opted out of the vaccine then - or sought to find a doctor that would offer the vaccines separately. Imagine back then only a few children missed out on that protection, unfortunately now thousands upon thousands of children don't have that and these diseases are again becoming rife.

I can't influence your decision, I just know that weighing up the facts (and I probably got more mercury into my system with fillings and even dropping thermometers in school as a kid), I'd rather take that chance than expose my kids to possibly devastating, avoidable childhood illnesses.

reply to post by spolvil


My 6 yr old recieved a chicken pox shot. Now I wonder if he was a test subject, lol. Kidding. I think it was new then.

reply to post by showintail


I have two young children and didn't really have a choice in vaccinating them or not. I also didn't have much of a "choice" in getting a flu shot when I was pregnant with both of them either.... our doctors are a little pushy with that stuff here. I'm sure had I been more assertive, I could have stopped the flu shots.
Anyway, this is a decision that is really up to you. And like someone above said, you need to be confident with your decision. Both of my children had vaccine reactions at 2 months and 4 months. BOTH children, two separate times. But they are happy and healthy now, years later. I don't do flu shots or any newer vaccines. MMR has been around long enough for there to be long term studies about it. I remember being around 12 or 13 and getting a 3 series MMR vaccine with no issues.

On the flip side, I have a close friend who is very against vaccines and everything related. He took every precaution to ensure his children would grow up without any chemicals, additives, hormones, etc in their bodies. He chose not to vaccinate. His oldest son is autistic and his youngest has severe sensory issues. He can't feel pain. He also hasn't spoken a full sentence yet and he is 4. GO FIGURE!

Good luck with your decision. And do NOT feel guilty for wanting to protect your children. Everyone I knew made me feel horribly guilty for not vaccinating my children for the swine flu. And we ended up getting sick. I felt awful. BUT they haven't been sick since! I'm actually glad they got it and it wasn't too severe. IMO it strengthened their immune systems.

reply to post by KatieVA


My son and daughter got the vaccine when they turned two. I remember both my wife being worried when they received the shots. I also can sympathize with you. It's really your decision.

You also have to take into account if you don't give him the vaccine, I don't think he can be enrolled into school. I may be wrong on this, but I think every kid has to have all their shots before being enrolled.

Both of my children (Boy 4, Girl 1 ½) have been given the vaccine for MMR as well as all other recommended shots (Including the flu shot which I myself refuse to get). Neither of them has suffered any ill side effects. Most cases were these side effects occur are due to allergic reactions. I did extensive research on these at the time as I was, like you, leery of these medicines, but my (our) decision was reassured once my son entered daycare. It seemed almost weekly a letter would be sent home warning parents that a child was sent home with this illness or that illness, including one case of Measles. Our son never got sick, with exception to chronic cough which he had before he ever entered day care.

Our daughter, who was 7 weeks premature, still has some shots left to get in the vaccine series, but has never had any problems outside of a mild fever or general crankiness. But honestly, she gets that just from cutting her teeth.

I really don’t think you have anything to worry about. I know medicine can be dangerous, I hate it myself, and refuse to take most of it, but some of it is actually good for you. And considering the side effects of not getting the vaccine . . . . I would recommend it.

I don't understand why there are people on this thread saying things like..."i gave it to my child and I'm glad they are protected"...a vaccine doesn't guarantee you protection, get it in your head.

Personally, i wasn't given it as a child as i came from a very broken family, however, i opted to get it as an adult (well the booster) as i know that measles contracted by an adult is far more serious. I have given it to my child because i felt it was the right thing to do, however, i don't think i will be taking him back for his boosters as i have done a bit of research and i feel it isn't right now that I'm informed. Both my partner and i have come to this agreement.

Its ultimately your choice but bear in mind they can always get it at a later age, well you can here in the UK anyways.

reply to post by showintail


Ive not come across it in the UK, when you have a new baby where I live they give you a red book with a list of dates and vaccines that the new born should have...im pretty sure chicken pox wasnt one...maybe its a US thing??

Wish I had had one though - was very uncomfortable

reply to post by WeRpeons


That is crazy...it sure isn't like that in Scotland....not that i know about anyways.

Originally posted by jrmcleod
I don't understand why there are people on this thread saying things like..."i gave it to my child and I'm glad they are protected"...a vaccine doesn't guarantee you protection, get it in your head.

Personally, i wasn't given it as a child as i came from a very broken family, however, i opted to get it as an adult (well the booster) as i know that measles contracted by an adult is far more serious. I have given it to my child because i felt it was the right thing to do, however, i don't think i will be taking him back for his boosters as i have done a bit of research and i feel it isn't right now that I'm informed. Both my partner and i have come to this agreement.

Its ultimately your choice but bear in mind they can always get it at a later age, well you can here in the UK anyways.

Doesn't guarantee you protection? What?
Things like small pox, TB & measles were wiped out of the UK during the past century DUE to intensive vaccination programmes.
They rear their ugly head again now though, in part to parents refusing to vax their children the other due to people coming into the country and spreading them.

reply to post by KatieVA


All 3 of my kids had theirs.......BUT

my eldest is Autistic

SO

I decided to leave my younger two from having theirs until they were 3 years of age and they had their DTP at 3 1/2 years, CDT & Sabin at 5 years of age.

I feel for ya and understand where you are coming from. IMO you made the right choice!
You just continue to do what you feel is ''right''. ALWAYS listen to your intuition, and let your concious be your guide.

Also have someone in my fam who is mentally challenged and autistic, that I feel were caused by this MMR vaccine. The child was just FINE before this, was talking some, etc. She then quit talking and went into a world of her own. I feel there are risks involved with these vaccines!!! and it's true there are no guarantees anyway... so please don't feel guilty.

I personally know people in the medical profession who won't allow their kids to be vaccinated. That should tell all of us something. However, there are those in the medical field that do. Or at least they say they do.

I personally would never get a kid vaccinated for anything. But thats me. I am adamant about it.

Try this link. I hope it helps. Educate Before You Vaccinate