This is for you "men" out there

Originally posted by gabby2011
reply to post by 0288796

 

ETA: I just reread his last sentence in the OP. So we're not real men if we don't let our daughters paint us up like women? Is that what you're trying to imply?

I sort of got the jest of it in that way. I hope not.

Having fun occasionally with your kids,and being a kid yourself is healthy, but to let the child feel they have control over everything during play time, and then to march the father off to the store at will seems to be letting a 6 year old have way too much power. That's why I'm thinking the dad secretly enjoys the attention ,and the weird stares ,or he wouldn't so willingly go along with it..especially in pretense of being some kind of great father for doing it. That is not great parenting to me , and adults who "let "children call all the shots are actually doing them a grave error.

edit on 19-6-2011 by gabby2011 because: (no reason given)

Once again I agree with you. I also have a bad vibe when people try to label a "real man." men who do that usually are far from a real man and have inferiority complexes.

I praise your patients and how happy you are being your daughters father.

It does make me sad though when a daughter cannot model after her mother and same goes for sons. The father saw something in the mother that he must have found attractive, if the daughter molds herself after her father, she will likely never find a mate like her father because she would never be able to share the role. If the daughter molds herself after the mother she will likely find a mate that attracts to her the way her father did to her mother.

I know that life is not perfect and we cannot expect it to work out the same for all of us, but i can see your daughters future boyfriends being nothing but whipping boys and you might not find them appropriate because they will be nothing like you but maybe more like her mother.

That is ok in today's society because there is no more need for the mans man, we are obsolete and usually seen as uncivilized. This bothers me because i am a man with a son who is my only child. If I stick around and he grows up to be like me, he will be seen as strange compared to most family relationships now days where the son hangs with the mom and daughter hangs with the dad.

reply to post by tom goose

That is ok in today's society because there is no more need for the mans man, we are obsolete and usually seen as uncivilized. This bothers me because i am a man with a son who is my only child. If I stick around and he grows up to be like me, he will be seen as strange compared to most family relationships now days where the son hangs with the mom and daughter hangs with the dad.

hunh?? come again? I hardly think a dad hanging out with his son is considered a weird relationship....

Be there for your son !!!!

reply to post by gabby2011

I must say you asume a lot from one little moment in my life to decide what my flaws as a human and a father are, stars to you.

Of all the many many many "trolls" I have spared with over the years on the internet, to be completely honest, you don't rank in the top 5000. You presume that I do this daily, when the fact of the matter it was the first time
In a good 6 months, it just so happens that it was the day before fathers day and I decided to write about it while waiting to goto work.

Again I ask, how exactly is allowing a child to be a child spoiling her? If you have some childhood issues you are desaling with, well, just maybe the internet is not the place to seek out help.

reply to post by 0288796


My last statement was simply to raise attention to the fact that just maybe sometimes we are to concerned with other peoples opinions

Originally posted by gabby2011
reply to post by tom goose

 

That is ok in today's society because there is no more need for the mans man, we are obsolete and usually seen as uncivilized. This bothers me because i am a man with a son who is my only child. If I stick around and he grows up to be like me, he will be seen as strange compared to most family relationships now days where the son hangs with the mom and daughter hangs with the dad.

hunh?? come again? I hardly think a dad hanging out with his son is considered a weird relationship....

Be there for your son !!!!

My kind are rare these days.

I'm a sexist pig by today's standards, and without any effort and just being around him, my son is turning out just like me. I was raised that parents do not play child games, children learn to play grown up games.... like fast.

Originally posted by NuroSlam
reply to post by 0288796

 

My last statement was simply to raise attention to the fact that just maybe sometimes we are to concerned with other peoples opinions

I see. But for me, it wouldn't be a case of what other people think of me, rather of what I would think of myself. That's the key.

reply to post by NuroSlam


I wouldn't say it dilutes you as a man..

I would find it amusing, in the same way you do though. Without ridicule for having 6 different colors of nails on, it's hard to deny you want to laugh when you see a guy with that.

reply to post by NuroSlam


What exactly was the point of this post again? To yell from a rooftop what a great father your are? To degrade or demean other fathers who don't live up to your standard?

By the title, "This is for you "men" out there". I would say thats exactly what you were aiming for and while It's fantastic your a good dad, I still have to ask what the point was again cause I missed it.

Sorry, don't mean to bring the thread down but the title is provocative and substance of the post seems in my opinion to just be horn blowing......

Originally posted by Helious
reply to post by NuroSlam

 

What exactly was the point of this post again? To yell from a rooftop what a great father your are? To degrade or demean other fathers who don't live up to your standard?

By the title, "This is for you "men" out there". I would say thats exactly what you were aiming for and while It's fantastic your a good dad, I still have to ask what the point was again cause I missed it.

Sorry, don't mean to bring the thread down but the title is provocative and substance of the post seems in my opinion to just be horn blowing......

Would you be happier if the OP used MALE, instead of MEN?

I don't think he was intending to attack you masculinity. He just felt proud of what he did for his daughter and it happens to be fathers day.

I don't necessarily agree with his relationship with his daughter, but it obviously makes him happy.

You should find some happiness and you might find that chip on your should becomes less of a burden.

It's not about machoismo or even feminism... It's about letting go of the ego.


I applaud anyone who can let go of their ego in order to see the bigger picture...

Hahaha, you must look quite ridiculous all painted up with your Tinkerbell wallet! If I saw you like that I'd probably have a chuckle, but not in spiteful way. I've always admired people who can befriend children like that, sometimes I have to babysit my friend's 5 year old daughter and all I know how to do is start teaching her capoeira (her mother won't let me let her play with rifles yet). I'm well old enough to be a mother but kids are baffling to me, I'm scared I'll break them or something. So good for you, you have mad skillz at parenting, keep it up and happy father's day!

I guess there is still that lingering social stigma that women are the only ones who are able to bond with their kids like that, it is people like you who are helping to progress society's attitudes, so what you do is very valuable not only for your daughter but for everyone in society.

Big time respect to the OP. Im not a single father but me and the Mrs have a boy and a girl 8 and 9 years of age. My each and every spare minute is dedicated to them, My kids are my best friends in the world. I get odd comments when people say "What you up too at weekend? going out with the boys" and im like "NO, im going hiking with kids on Saturday, Movie with them and Pizza Saturday night, Cycling with them Sunday and anything else that involves my kids" I am crazy about them and i admit sometimes a little over cautious and protective but i beleive im raising good people with manners, respect and love. Its a hard job as a couple dude so hats off completely to you for doing this single handed.

reply to post by NuroSlam


What a fabulous post OP

Took me back to when mine were small and I used to let them draw on my face and arms with felt tip pens lol. I have also walked to the shops with them after this, in broad daylight, sporting huge black eyebrows, a curly black moustache, specs, bright red zits, frankenstein stitches across my forehead and around my neck lol. I loved it as much as they did.

Their chuckles were priceless, yet cost nothing.

They are all in their 20's now and all left home, and they often remind of when they used to draw on me.

Wonderful memories. No regrets.

S&F

Originally posted by NuroSlam
reply to post by gabby2011

 

I must say you asume a lot from one little moment in my life to decide what my flaws as a human and a father are, stars to you.

Of all the many many many "trolls" I have spared with over the years on the internet, to be completely honest, you don't rank in the top 5000. You presume that I do this daily, when the fact of the matter it was the first time
In a good 6 months, it just so happens that it was the day before fathers day and I decided to write about it while waiting to goto work.

Again I ask, how exactly is allowing a child to be a child spoiling her? If you have some childhood issues you are desaling with, well, just maybe the internet is not the place to seek out help.

Wow..little touchy now aren't we...

I didn't say daily..but the words in the quote below are the reason why I said what I said...

From the age of four she has put make up on me, painted my nails, put horribly awful looking stuff in my hair with a true sense of glee. Its not uncommon for her to want to walk to the store to get a snack after this happens.

Having said its not uncommon...seems to me you pretty much have it down to a routine.....so you must get some kick out of it...??

I think I hit a truth nerve, hence all the name calling. You may think of me as a troll , and others think of me as someone who has the right to an opinion.

reply to post by NuroSlam


It sounds like some people are actually speaking of their own personal experiences. Your post must have reopened a wound with them, and they decided to take it out on you. But anyway, you sound like the way a father should be, especially these days, with the way the world is going. I commend you.

Originally posted by GAOTU789


This was my attempt at it and the results...

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/de9815a02b7b.jpg[/atsimg]

And this was what happened after a couple of of the cheer moms did her hair.

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/db7ba8c4f278.jpg[/atsimg]

Just wanted to tell you that you attempt was far more beach-chic and fashionable, but I guess cheerleading demands pageantry hair. But if it was a contest judged by a Paris fashion designer, you would soo totally win

Also, big ups to the OP! How glorious the world would be if more men felt truly confident in the male role. (A clue that someone feels confident in a role is usually that they can play with it and have fun with it)

reply to post by NuroSlam

Again I ask, how exactly is allowing a child to be a child spoiling her? If you have some childhood issues you are desaling with, well, just maybe the internet is not the place to seek out help.

I have no childhood issues I'm dealing with by the way, but I think men who carry tinkerbell wallets to please their daughters, aren't really doing them any favors in the long run. They are basically showing them that if a man loves you he should allow you to do anything , and give him a present that you like more than he does.

If you think I'm some kind of terrible troll because I see this way..well..You're the one with issues buddy....and trust me....those issues will get the best of you in time.

Originally posted by v1rtu0s0
It's not about machoismo or even feminism... It's about letting go of the ego.


I applaud anyone who can let go of their ego in order to see the bigger picture...

And you don't think he posted here to boost his ego? He sounds like a guy who thrives on attention to me. Why else tell us about how much of a "father" he is (just like us other "men"). I think he's a troll to be honest.

Originally posted by NuroSlam
So its father's day today and I have to work 18 hours. You do what you have to do to support your children. I try not to mince words and tend to speak my mind.

I'm a single father of a wonderfully bright 6 year old girl that I will give my life for if I need to. When shes here with me, I let her be a kid, something I don't see a lot of parents do any more. Like most little girls, she likes to dress up, the big gaudy jewellery, princess gowns etc. She also likes to play with make-up and nail polish. While I'm not to happy about the whole Disney indoctrination of girls, I am but one of two parents with limited time to instill in her the values that I hold dear.

From the age of four she has put make up on me, painted my nails, put horribly awful looking stuff in my hair with a true sense of glee. Its not uncommon for her to want to walk to the store to get a snack after this happens. Now, after two years I can honestly say I have never dreaded walking out the door like this, I don't care what people think of me one bit so I just roll with it. I do pay attention to the reactions of those around me though, and I find it very amusing. "Men" snicker and giggle like little school girls when I brandish my Tinkerbell wallet she gave me for fathers day 2 years ago. They look at me like I am out of my mind with 6 different colors of nail polish on. In fact I'm writing this because I made a post saying I got distracted while having my toenails painted to explain my forgetting to link to a site in an OP. The one reply was "I'm a man, that would never happen to me"

The women's reactions are exactly the opposite, they say how cute, how great of a dad I am that I would allow her to do these things and not worry about anyone else's actions. I have in fact scored a couple of dates!

So you think you are a real man, macho and ready to take on the world, but can you set all that aside for a precious little soul that you care and love?

edit on 19-6-2011 by NuroSlam because: (no reason given)

I'm getting to that old age and my dad still treats me like a kid. Kudos to you and don't ever give it up. I would be lost without my dad and wouldn't know how to make it on my own. I am glad that he's here with me. You're a real man and don't let anyone tell you any different. Happy Father's Day.