This is for you "men" out there

So its father's day today and I have to work 18 hours. You do what you have to do to support your children. I try not to mince words and tend to speak my mind.

I'm a single father of a wonderfully bright 6 year old girl that I will give my life for if I need to. When shes here with me, I let her be a kid, something I don't see a lot of parents do any more. Like most little girls, she likes to dress up, the big gaudy jewellery, princess gowns etc. She also likes to play with make-up and nail polish. While I'm not to happy about the whole Disney indoctrination of girls, I am but one of two parents with limited time to instill in her the values that I hold dear.

From the age of four she has put make up on me, painted my nails, put horribly awful looking stuff in my hair with a true sense of glee. Its not uncommon for her to want to walk to the store to get a snack after this happens. Now, after two years I can honestly say I have never dreaded walking out the door like this, I don't care what people think of me one bit so I just roll with it. I do pay attention to the reactions of those around me though, and I find it very amusing. "Men" snicker and giggle like little school girls when I brandish my Tinkerbell wallet she gave me for fathers day 2 years ago. They look at me like I am out of my mind with 6 different colors of nail polish on. In fact I'm writing this because I made a post saying I got distracted while having my toenails painted to explain my forgetting to link to a site in an OP. The one reply was "I'm a man, that would never happen to me"

The women's reactions are exactly the opposite, they say how cute, how great of a dad I am that I would allow her to do these things and not worry about anyone else's actions. I have in fact scored a couple of dates!

So you think you are a real man, macho and ready to take on the world, but can you set all that aside for a precious little soul that you care and love?

reply to post by NuroSlam


S&F for being a dad, i mean real dad, not just someone who has a kid.
First of all, you shouldn't let people come in between you and your family. I know plenty of folk and myself who would kill to have a father. All that matters is that you are there for your children through it all. I wish i had that. I admire that you do what you do. Being yourself is being a REAL MAN, not weight lifting and screwing every chick you come into contact with. Its about providing and being there for your loved ones.
So no your not wrong at all. I used to brush my sisters hair and i even died it once. Because she never had a dad like me. And now since dyfs has taken her and my other younger brother from my mother and are in foster care i never come into contact with them, im not even allowed to talk on the phone with them. So embrace your kids while you can my friend. You never know what can happen. Live like its your last day on earth, BUT plan like you have forever.

Happy Fathers day, but I would not walk out the door painted up like that. Inside the home is one thing. I think unwanted attention is unwanted.. But again, happy fathers day!


Deebo

reply to post by NuroSlam


you sound like exactly the kind of dad i would want, one who is more concerned with your child's happiness than the reaction of other people to your "manliness".
You sir, are a hero to your daughter. I commend you. Have a star too.

Your post brought tears to my eyes. Also made me laugh! Happy fathers day to you and I wish you the best! You sound like a great guy. S & F.

Hey, it's great that you let your daughter paint your toenails!
Show her some of these pictures and tell her whatever versions of the stories she might enjoy. it might get her interested in history, which all children, male and female should be interested in, IMHO.

If people on ATS react oddly remember that it's kind of a context-less statement to make in the middle of a thread about some other topic. It does at the very least come across as kind of, well, inattentive to the topic at hand, even if you didn't mean it that way. Anyway, I learned the hard way that you can't really expect people on teh intranets to get whatever goes on in your personal life.

As a side note, one thing I was thinking a lot of fathers neglect the other day, for whatever reason (not saying you do, just saying in general) -- it's a father's job to give their kids (sons and daughters) "big picture" lessons on life, to teach them about systems, daily life politics, getting things done, how to compete, how and when to buckle down and when to laugh and let go, that kind of thing. My father never was around to teach me any of that (or much else) and I always felt it as a gaping hole in my own life. I've tried to communicate with my own daughters on that level as much as possible and if you do it right they drink it up like plants absorbing clean healthy water.

Happy father's day, everyone.

reply to post by silent thunder


She's actually very interested in science, loves to read and write, let me tell you, she writes out lists like no bodies business. Don't really like the idea of her going to a public school, I was a stay at home dad for the first two years, but they at least for now are doing right by her.

Originally posted by NuroSlam
So its father's day today and I have to work 18 hours. You do what you have to do to support your children. I try not to mince words and tend to speak my mind.

I'm a single father of a wonderfully bright 6 year old girl that I will give my life for if I need to. When shes here with me, I let her be a kid, something I don't see a lot of parents do any more. Like most little girls, she likes to dress up, the big gaudy jewellery, princess gowns etc. She also likes to play with make-up and nail polish. While I'm not to happy about the whole Disney indoctrination of girls, I am but one of two parents with limited time to instill in her the values that I hold dear.

From the age of four she has put make up on me, painted my nails, put horribly awful looking stuff in my hair with a true sense of glee. Its not uncommon for her to want to walk to the store to get a snack after this happens. Now, after two years I can honestly say I have never dreaded walking out the door like this, I don't care what people think of me one bit so I just roll with it. I do pay attention to the reactions of those around me though, and I find it very amusing. "Men" snicker and giggle like little school girls when I brandish my Tinkerbell wallet she gave me for fathers day 2 years ago. They look at me like I am out of my mind with 6 different colors of nail polish on. In fact I'm writing this because I made a post saying I got distracted while having my toenails painted to explain my forgetting to link to a site in an OP. The one reply was "I'm a man, that would never happen to me"

The women's reactions are exactly the opposite, they say how cute, how great of a dad I am that I would allow her to do these things and not worry about anyone else's actions. I have in fact scored a couple of dates!

So you think you are a real man, macho and ready to take on the world, but can you set all that aside for a precious little soul that you care and love?

edit on 19-6-2011 by NuroSlam because: (no reason given)

I'm with ya on this.

My now 23 yr old daughter used to do all that when she was the same age as yours. I can't count how many times she "did" my hair (when i still had hair), did my nails or how many tea parties and playing with her and her dinosaurs for hours on end. I still keep some of her Father's Day art projects with me in my travels.

I wouldn't trade any of that for anything.

reply to post by NuroSlam


Happy Fathers Day! It takes a real man to be confident in different colored nail polish while brandishing a Tinkerbell wallet! It's no wonder you get dates. The clarity of your love for your daughter glows through your post. Any mature and confident woman would be attracted to that.

reply to post by NuroSlam


If your kids are important to you,what other people think is of no importance...My 8 yr old daughter has the run of my life....who the hell cares?

Your kid will become spoiled rotten, you know that right?A lesson that has been long forgotten in the west. Perhaps that is why these men think you shouldn't pander to your daughters every desire. It's one thing to love your daughter more than anything in the world, it's another thing to be blinded by love and make foolish decisions that will hurt your child dearly in the long run.

Eventually, your daughter will grow to expect these things from you. She will be astonished when you tell her you have a very important business meeting to attend that could cost you your job, and you are sorry you can't make her birthday. She will hate you for it, she will abuse you until you feel like **** and never forgive you. She will tell all her friends the story and conveniently leave out some details because she is a lying scumbag due to your bad parenting. She will struggle in her life because of her huge personality flaws and endure endless amounts of pain.

If you really love your daughter, you will stay focused, and make the right decision based on thought, and not emotion, like a real man.

Originally posted by sliceNodice
Your kid will become spoiled rotten, you know that right?A lesson that has been long forgotten in the west. Perhaps that is why these men think you shouldn't pander to your daughters every desire. It's one thing to love your daughter more than anything in the world, it's another thing to be blinded by love and make foolish decisions that will hurt your child dearly in the long run.

Eventually, your daughter will grow to expect these things from you. She will be astonished when you tell her you have a very important business meeting to attend that could cost you your job, and you are sorry you can't make her birthday. She will hate you for it, she will abuse you until you feel like **** and never forgive you. She will tell all her friends the story and conveniently leave out some details because she is a lying scumbag due to your bad parenting. She will struggle in her life because of her huge personality flaws and endure endless amounts of pain.

If you really love your daughter, you will stay focused, and make the right decision based on thought, and not emotion, like a real man.

Spoiled rotten for being allowed to be a child? I don't see the logic. At no point have a stated I give her everything she wants. Nor have I said that I do not tell her no, in fact, I tell her no for more often then yes.

reply to post by NuroSlam


My son is 8. He likes to sing. No polish or hair goo, but my Transformer wallet and singing the "I like carrots" song gets plenty of stares.

Good on you, Dad.

Awe that is really sweet and cute!

I would never laugh at a guy who did that! I think it's sweet and she will never forget it.

I grew up without my dad but I still have fond memories of when I was a kid with him but i do wonder if he ever thinks about the three kids he just stopped talking to all those years ago...It doesn't bother me because I don't know any different really.



Personally I like seeing guys with their kids, gives me a sense of who they are as a person esp since i didn't have mine growing up. My bf has two kids, one of each and he is a great dad. It's one of the things that I fell for in him. He is a wonderful guy and how he is about his kids makes me smile because he has such a huge heart and I see that when he talks about them or I hear him on the phone with them. It's sweet. I don't always see that with guys or women for that matter with their kids....

Happy Fathers Day to you!

reply to post by NuroSlam


Kudos to you Nuroslam on the father front.

Your little girl will always remember those things with pride.

You do those things out of love. People are quick to judge, yet you are man enough to take it and not give a fig.

reply to post by NuroSlam


Good for you.
Anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy.

My niece knitted my dad a sweater vest. it is the most hideious thing you ever seen. it looked like a muppet knittted it on acid.

My dad wore it all the time.

reply to post by NuroSlam


Best. Dad. Ever.

I applaud you sir. You my friend know what being a Dad is about. You rock on and hold your chin high. I'm a huge hulking beast of a man and if I had a Little Princess of my own I'd be glad to do as you do.

I don't give a damn about what other people think. Seems to me you have your priorities on straight. When people become parents those little ones should be way up there on the ladder of importance.

I'm sorry you have to put in 18 hours today. WTH? Good luck, I hope you find a better job, less hours, more pay. Meanwhile please keep doing what you do. Your little girl is lucky to have a Dad like you. Bless your heart.

Happy Fathers Day

PS: long married & childless, I've carried a SpongeBob SquarePants wallet for 4+ years, big fan. Mickey Mouse is on my keyring, before him was Eric Cartman for many years. life is too short to give a damn what other people think

Good for you man. You shouldn't worry about others think if it is making your daughter happy. I've gone through this and much more with my daughter and I too have gotten those looks and what not. Who cares.

A little story.

I'm a single father of a girl who I have had custody of for almost six years. She is in cheerleading and for a competition last year, she needed to have her hair curled. Now my girls hair has almost to the bottom of her back and straight as a pin. I'd never curled hair before so I was worried about what I could do. So I said the hell with it, I'll do it myself. Went and borrowed a curling iron from a neighbour, bought a couple of bags of curlers, lots of hairspray and set off to try this out. I spent almost four hours trying to get it done. I had a great friend talk me through it all on skype while the three of us laughed about my woeful attempt at hair curling. I tried and tried but it just wouldn't take. I finally sent her to bed with the curlers in her hair hoping some miracle would happen and the curls would magically appear. Nope.

This was my attempt at it and the results...

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/de9815a02b7b.jpg[/atsimg]

And this was what happened after a couple of of the cheer moms did her hair.

[atsimg]http://files.abovetopsecret.com/images/member/db7ba8c4f278.jpg[/atsimg]

Most of the dad's laughed at me for trying it, most of the woman loved the fact I tried it and well, I got some decent results, not from the curling attempt itself but for the curling attempt. I really didn't care what anyone thought about it. She needed to have her hair done and I was the only one to do it.

reply to post by GAOTU789

Seems like some don't understand that single parents need to play both roles all the time. Even when both parents are in the picture, when you are not together, you can't just let the other deal with the situation when they are around. You need to suck it up and grind out the issue.

Good for you! Sounds like you're doing a good job. I let my little sister put makeup on me and straighten my hair once, needless to say I'd make a terrible drag queen.

And big points for going down the street like that too. My brother went down the street in a dress once, to the supermarket. He had really long auburn hair at the time, so from the back and from a distance he looked like a chick, until he turns around and you see the big goatee.

It's all in good fun. Keep up the good parenting.