This is for you "men" out there

reply to post by NuroSlam


You're doing a good job as a single parent, applause!

Little girls are often a little attention starved, my nieces being the primary example for my life. There's nothing wrong with letting them be girls; I have some rather incriminating photographs of myself dressed up like a barbie doll because of them .

But, I mean, single parents and gay parents are ripping apart "the American family" so I can only support you so much; being a good parent is only good if there is a man and woman... it's what they told me, so it must be true.

(obvious sarcasm)

Originally posted by NuroSlam

Originally posted by jed001
reply to post by NuroSlam

 

i don't get your point, i have a 7 year old daughter and she is the light of my life she had never ask to dress me up like a disney princess. i think that our children need a strong parent , everytime my children tell them i am being mean. i tell them i must be doing something right. to give into a childs every whim is no good for the children

My point was there are pre conceived notions about what a "real man" is, that he is basically emotionless unable to sympathise and is to strong to be vulnerable. Many people see me this way, including my ex wife. If you were to ask my employees they would tell you that their personal problems have no place in the in the work place and that I make that very clear. I do not give in to my daughters every whim. I am in no way saying I am a good father, or for that matter even a decent one. I was curious as to why someone would think something as harmless as letting a 6 year old paint their toenails would never happen to them simple because they were a man.

i am not that kind of pre-conceived man i always tell my children ( son and daughter) that it is healthy to express your emotions. and i applaud you for staying in your daughter's life after a divorce, but in my home playing dress up with my daughter is something i just don't do and probally would not do if she asked and that is just the way i was brought up. my personal opinion is that so many parents are worried about being their kids friends first instead of being their parents first.

reply to post by NuroSlam


Lol reminds me of when I took my daughter to the mall to buy something with my friend and everyone was starring at us like we adopted this kid hahahah

Originally posted by gabby2011

Originally posted by Bibliomaniac
Being new to this site, opening up "top topics" and skimming through this is certainly surprising.
But honestly, got a man here who wants to chit-chat about his experiences with his daughter, so be it. Sheesh, let it go. Perhaps some should read "BEFORE YOU REPLY"..."Respect"...

Off topic, sure...but cmon, family is important to some (if not most)

Never ever implied family is not very important !!!
...but I can comment on what I take to be very self gratuitous behavior disguised as good parenting for the reward of attention.

Perhaps you should read before you reply.."respect"

I have a right to my opinion , and I'm not the only one who saw it for what it seemed.

First off, I was in no way, shape, or form implying that you do not have a right to an opinion, or to state that opinion.

I found the ridiculing to be unnecessary. Parenting is a personal, highly controversial topic. Yes, he included rewards of attention, dates, etc. But there are a lot easier ways to score a few dates and get female attention. Perhaps these behavioral choices aren't simply a means to gratify only himself.

PS. I'm never impressed with justifying an opinion with "i'm not the only one".

reply to post by Bibliomaniac

PS. I'm never impressed with justifying an opinion with "i'm not the only one".

ok..How about this...I don't care how many people agree with me, or how many don't..I have a right to my opinion.

I pointed that out to show that I wasn't off the wall in seeing the op in the light that I did, because others picked up those same innuendos in it.

The op asked for feedback,and I gave him my honest feedback. What is your purpose for maligning ,and twisting what I have to say? I'm not impressed with your "I'm just so much more moral, therefore justified with correcting you" attitude , that you give off.

Go try and intimidate someone else...the op asked for response..and I gave him my honest response..so go live with it. Quite frankly I don't give a diddly squat if your impressed with me or not.

reply to post by Bibliomaniac

I found the ridiculing to be unnecessary.

I was honest with how I saw it, did you see all the ridicule I had to take from the op ,and many others ?

If you're gonna put down ridicule, I think you need to address it at the parties who really were ridiculing to the extreme. I was merely pointing out what stood out to me.

reply to post by gabby2011

The op asked for feedback,and I gave him my honest feedback. What is your purpose for maligning ,and twisting what I have to say? I'm not impressed with your "I'm just so much more moral, therefore justified with correcting you" attitude , that you give off.

Go try and intimidate someone else...the op asked for response..and I gave him my honest response..so go live with it. Quite frankly I don't give a diddly squat if your impressed with me or not.

Sigh...
1. Never once claimed to be more moral than anyone else.
2. My initial post here was basically saying "give the guy some respect", whether his actions give him self-gratification or not. Somehow that post came off to you as me being someone who doesn't respect one's opinion. Really? Cause I wouldn't be here if I wasn't open-minded to others' thoughts.
3. This type of interacting is not why I am here...let bygones be bygones. Good day.

Originally posted by NuroSlam

Originally posted by DaWhiz
We always remember!

I had to listen to it once you mentioned it, and i sit here in shock at how much this song influenced me. thank you

Yes. The lyrics are poignantly accurate. And, if they truthfully represent a parent's own relationship with his/her kids, sadly regrettable. In your case, you have absolutely nothing to regret. You've gotten it "right". You have been there when you have been needed, and you will reap much love as a result. Ignore those who reply by exposing their own personal "issues" instead.

reply to post by QueSeraSera

Yes. The lyrics are poignantly accurate. And, if they truthfully represent a parent's own relationship with his/her kids, sadly regrettable. In your case, you have absolutely nothing to regret. You've gotten it "right". You have been there when you have been needed, and you will reap much love as a result. Ignore those who reply by exposing their own personal "issues" instead.

Good lord..



Now I have personal "issues" because I think a guy going to the store with his kid ,all done up in makeup and sparkles is a little over the top? I think anyone who has "issues" with me saying that, has some serious issues themselves. Really sic of being bashed , for having a little insight and common sense.

Time will tell who really has the "issues"

Im pretty sure *I'm* the one with issues because I keep comin back here to see if you all are still bickering.

reply to post by Advantage

Originally posted by Advantage
Im pretty sure *I'm* the one with issues because I keep comin back here to see if you all are still bickering.

Sad...sad truth here. waste of flags and time.

Originally posted by gabby2011
reply to post by Bibliomaniac

 

PS. I'm never impressed with justifying an opinion with "i'm not the only one".

The op asked for feedback,and I gave him my honest feedback. What is your purpose for maligning ,and twisting what I have to say? I'm not impressed with your "I'm just so much more moral, therefore justified with correcting you" attitude , that you give off.

Indeed you did, and while I do think you misunderstood what I was saying in the OP, everything that has been posted has caused at least one person to think. I give you props for standing your ground, not, i hope taking anything personally I may have said (other then the troll part - anyone on a forum is ultimately a troll, myself included).
I look forward to future discussions with you, I hope though, with a mutual understanding that its not personal.

reply to post by NuroSlam

Indeed you did, and while I do think you misunderstood what I was saying in the OP, everything that has been posted has caused at least one person to think. I give you props for standing your ground, not, i hope taking anything personally I may have said (other then the troll part - anyone on a forum is ultimately a troll, myself included). I look forward to future discussions with you, I hope though, with a mutual understanding that its not personal.

Yes..I was accused of being a troll, someone with 'serious" issues, and worse . All I can say to that is some people really showed me they had some personal serious issues to deal with, because I am quite happy about how I see things.

As far as taking it personally NuroSlam, I'm trying not to , and I will say I often agree with many things you speak out about on this board, and am not afraid to say so , if I agree.

Anyhoo, you got your flags, and I still have my self respect on how I view things, so everyone wins.

Originally posted by sliceNodice
Your kid will become spoiled rotten, you know that right?A lesson that has been long forgotten in the west. Perhaps that is why these men think you shouldn't pander to your daughters every desire. It's one thing to love your daughter more than anything in the world, it's another thing to be blinded by love and make foolish decisions that will hurt your child dearly in the long run.

Eventually, your daughter will grow to expect these things from you. She will be astonished when you tell her you have a very important business meeting to attend that could cost you your job, and you are sorry you can't make her birthday. She will hate you for it, she will abuse you until you feel like **** and never forgive you. She will tell all her friends the story and conveniently leave out some details because she is a lying scumbag due to your bad parenting. She will struggle in her life because of her huge personality flaws and endure endless amounts of pain.

If you really love your daughter, you will stay focused, and make the right decision based on thought, and not emotion, like a real man.

Agree with this 100%. Western women have a huge "entitlement" problem, that never gets resolved.

Forgive me for sounding sexist, but you'll find many guys are going to agree with me on this. Don't over-do it with spoiling your little girls. Simply don't do it.

reply to post by yourignoranceisbliss


There is a huge difference between spoiling a child and doing activities with them.

I am able to post on this forum at work. I am here until a set hour. I have limited time with my children. During that time I like to let them decide what the game is, and I play along.

This doesn't mean that I don't teach them the value of money or work. Hell, if they don't have their given chores list complete and homework done by the time I get home they are in trouble and they know it.

But, when they complete their responsibilities, they get rewarded. If that means I get pink toenails, so be it.

(BTW, the pink scrapped off well, I couldn't stand the smell of the polish remover)

Spoiled my 12 year old daughter and her friend tonight.
They beg me to go to Starbucks for some double chocolate latte and a cake ball thing on a stick.
What can I say,I'm already thinking about getting a car for her.
But I told her she has to make some money in the next 3 years and I will match it.
Does that make me a bad dad??

Originally posted by yourignoranceisbliss

Originally posted by sliceNodice
Your kid will become spoiled rotten, you know that right?A lesson that has been long forgotten in the west. Perhaps that is why these men think you shouldn't pander to your daughters every desire. It's one thing to love your daughter more than anything in the world, it's another thing to be blinded by love and make foolish decisions that will hurt your child dearly in the long run.

Eventually, your daughter will grow to expect these things from you. She will be astonished when you tell her you have a very important business meeting to attend that could cost you your job, and you are sorry you can't make her birthday. She will hate you for it, she will abuse you until you feel like **** and never forgive you. She will tell all her friends the story and conveniently leave out some details because she is a lying scumbag due to your bad parenting. She will struggle in her life because of her huge personality flaws and endure endless amounts of pain.

If you really love your daughter, you will stay focused, and make the right decision based on thought, and not emotion, like a real man.

Agree with this 100%. Western women have a huge "entitlement" problem, that never gets resolved.

Forgive me for sounding sexist, but you'll find many guys are going to agree with me on this. Don't over-do it with spoiling your little girls. Simply don't do it.

My daughter has her chores and they are to be done before she gets anything.
She has been grounded and things taken away many,many times.
The hardest thing now is guiding her in her choices of friends and boys.
She is starting to understand that not every friend is a friend.
I am proud of her as she grows into a young lady.

reply to post by Bibliomaniac

Sad...sad truth here. waste of flags and time.

bye bye..take your self righteous ridicule elsewhere...

Originally posted by NuroSlam
So its father's day today and I have to work 18 hours. You do what you have to do to support your children. I try not to mince words and tend to speak my mind.

I'm a single father of a wonderfully bright 6 year old girl that I will give my life for if I need to. When shes here with me, I let her be a kid, something I don't see a lot of parents do any more. Like most little girls, she likes to dress up, the big gaudy jewellery, princess gowns etc. She also likes to play with make-up and nail polish. While I'm not to happy about the whole Disney indoctrination of girls, I am but one of two parents with limited time to instill in her the values that I hold dear.

From the age of four she has put make up on me, painted my nails, put horribly awful looking stuff in my hair with a true sense of glee. Its not uncommon for her to want to walk to the store to get a snack after this happens. Now, after two years I can honestly say I have never dreaded walking out the door like this, I don't care what people think of me one bit so I just roll with it. I do pay attention to the reactions of those around me though, and I find it very amusing. "Men" snicker and giggle like little school girls when I brandish my Tinkerbell wallet she gave me for fathers day 2 years ago. They look at me like I am out of my mind with 6 different colors of nail polish on. In fact I'm writing this because I made a post saying I got distracted while having my toenails painted to explain my forgetting to link to a site in an OP. The one reply was "I'm a man, that would never happen to me"

The women's reactions are exactly the opposite, they say how cute, how great of a dad I am that I would allow her to do these things and not worry about anyone else's actions. I have in fact scored a couple of dates!

So you think you are a real man, macho and ready to take on the world, but can you set all that aside for a precious little soul that you care and love?

edit on 19-6-2011 by NuroSlam because: (no reason given)

I needed to quote the whole OP. I really did because...

You truly rock brother. You're 110% hardcore and good to go in my book.

Carry on

Maximum respect to you brother. This actually touched me and I'm one cold hearted /b/tard