I have to appologise, I have brought on the end of the world

For those who wish to make fun, please stop. That’s ok with other threads, but it seems to me that Michael feels that he is at the end of his rope and may very well be contemplating suicide. Thus when he is dead, his world ends, not ours.

Michael, If you are feeling suicidal, coming here or any chat room may just make things worse. Seek counseling. It is said that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Most of us are not born into a perfect family and life. Some of those who are ruin it anyway. Such is life and the choices we make in it.

There is hope for you, as you have identified your faults and bad habits, now the hard part begins. Fixing them. You can’t take back harm that you feel that you have inflicted upon someone, but you can apologize. If they don’t accept it, that’s their problem, you’ve tried to atone and now it’s time to move on. Many of us has been there, done that.

We are all born to die, it’s the journey in between that is the adventure. Good luck.

Mike, im just going to reiterate what other people have said, but its good advice, tell your wife and tell your parents, once its shared a weight will be lifted off your shoulders, im not saying theyll take it too well, but i promise you, they might be angry with you but it wont stop them loving you, ( i have someone in my own family who is currently destroying themselves and i am mad as hell with them but i still love them), Also you dont know how many of us here have been or are currently in the same situation as you, your not the only one up to your eyeballs in debt, in fact most people are these days. And your not the first person in the world to resort to gambling to try and get out of a desperate situation.
Go along to the CAB, its free and theyre trained to help, and see your doctor, dont go through this alone.
TAKE ADVICE, i dont think youd be posting here if you didnt want it.
and best wishes.
and lastly i really dont think theres such a thing as the devil, just the evil that men do.

Take us with you...?!?

Son:
I have bad news for you ..
YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU WHEN YOU GO
The last several billion that died did not take us, our world, our our universe with them.
we are all still here up to our ears in carp.
to bad.
they stink when they decompose,
and someone else has to clean them up.
So, please do not try to hold us hostage for sympathy with that kind of boilcarps

or you might get told how to make those slits the correct way by someone who simply wishes to prove you wrong about something so very obvious.

PS
not only that
by borrowing you have added to the unpayable debt owed to the satanist bankers
the indebtedness of which, unlike you will live forever.
which the rest of us are expected to pay for through AUSTERITY

and the next time they have some sheepviolating ceremony to capture the spirits of the dead
to do their nefarious bidding..
guess which spirit will probably get corralled into the sheep boots?

I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time - many of us are. Life ebbs and flows, so just wait a while and it will change, but you have to play your cards right, or at least try to.

I know this is none of my business and I'm going to sound like a complete donkey for asking this, but why are you having another child if your financial situation is in the toilet?

After reading your post, I have to admit that I think you're having anxieties about your soon-to-be-born child. You know that you owe money to people and you know that a baby costs a whole lot of money. Are you feeling guilty for enlarging your family before you've paid off the money you owe and now you know you'll most likely never pay it back?

If you've gone and made a deal with the devil, that's all on you and the darkness you've brought upon those close to you. Very selfish decision. I think you need to start being more concerned with those around you real quick and stop being so self absorbed. Then, maybe, things will turn around. Good luck.

Don't worry it wasn't all your fault it NEVER is and Africa is a Bioweapons lab and a natural resource grab bag for international "private interests"
They did it all we ever did was feel bad.
Besides real evil is forever it doesn't ever feel remorse as a matter of fact it wants everything it's own way others deserve nothing.
If you feel that way then you are indeed evil
As to your soul popular evidence indicates .....it isn't yours,you can't control it and it is more intelligent because of all those lives nobody remembers.
Otherwise God has it ,until you actually murder to please yourself.

I know what you mean, but dont worry there are others fighting against the same evil trying to destroy the earth.

Just like you wanted to protect your family you gotta allow somebody to protect you. Just stop making deals with that evil side though its probably just trying to provoke you. Just get stronger thats all.

Originally posted by Glz00
On an up side if you are right, you have only killed your universe, ours are all fine so don't be sorry!

Yup very true. You have no controll or power over the world I live in.

To the OP

I feel for your grief, but honestly seek help. Delusional disorder is serious and might be what your true problem is.

Everyone around you loves you and will help you just ask for it and live every day one at a time. Get your life together and ignore the majority of the world for a bit.

Meditate, medicate, seek help from those around you.

You lost the bet because you made it happen to yourself. You controll your reallity and you had given up completly. You had dispair,regrett,and many other sour emotions at the time of the "deal" bet. With those emotions controling your reality you had no chance at all of winning. You killed your mojo, not saying think good and you will win. Just saying you had no chance when in the funk.

Think good, think happy, no one is ever lost, forgotten or givin up on.

No religon teaches that, only hatefull people.

Your a great person, just money problems. Heck when I was 20 to 22, I spent more than your in debt on just court ordered anger managment. Im in debt just like a thousand other people on this site. So what just paper, we try to be good thats all you can do.

If you belive in a god, I am sure he would not place you into an eternity of torture for a man made system of debt.

Just try to be a better person, slowly one step at a time. Think positivley. Use us here to talk to , do not listen to people that just want to feed any possible delsuions.

I honestly belive we all turn out good in the end, it takes time, pain and maybe several lives.

Do not be so down on yourself, there are so many more people in this world that are alot worse than you could ever imagine yourself being and they do not care and not remorsefull. You are self aware of your problems and remosrefull, you on the right path, keep trying to do better and you cannot fail.

I agree with what maxnormal has said, theres many of us on the site you can talk to, by u2u or on the thread, dont give up, even though it feels like it, theres much much worse than could happen. Just to make you laugh, i am a mum on her on own and i have currently got a very sore bottom because im am perched on the end of my sofa because a doormouse has just ran across my living room, this thing weights an ounce and i am s**t scared of it, it is hiding in my fire place. Youll be alright, just stop blaming yourself. Its all sortable.

reply to post by michael1983l


What you are saying is not outlandish - it's interesting. But I'm more concerned with the undertones of suicide in what you have written. I hope you realize that debt is not something to kill yourself over. Most people in the UK are, on average £60,000 in debt. It's just how it is. There are many ways to get around it.

As for selling your soul - the bet at the bookie not coming through is no proof that help is not on the way. Hang in there a little longer, you'll see some help from your deal.

Originally posted by michael1983l

 

You do not own my world or even the world itself @ michael!

The world has seen death every minute of the day from one country to another, has experienced weather changes --- name it all the world has experienced. Your a product of earth, you and me together are a spiritual perfection of order to this earth world. I feel sorry for you because you think the world owes you. Instead of peace you decide death to everyone based on a prophecy you believe. How selfish.

The evil ones somehow make you think they were your only escape but did you consider "selling" your soul, to the Good side?? The good side will take you up on that offer too, my son. And you will get real help if you do this and find the goodness inside you. I don't care if its one million in debt... You would be better off homeless than to do dealings with the dark one...

What's one measely world when we've all got our own UNIVERSE?

Or

Why does it seem that no one understands the meaning of Uni-verse ?

I can't lie, there's days in the month (not those) where i do feel like you. I'm 27, just dropped college for second time in my life... I still live from the money my mom sends to me every month and I have a very big debt with two different colleges that are up to 5.000 USD (that's a pretty big fortune where I live...). The money my mom send me never EVER lasts the whole month and i owe my friends this life and the next due to that (often i end up eating at their homes or they end up buying me my meds, i have two chronic diseases). So often i don't have money to go to the doctor and well, my diseases start to kill myself and the pain is terrible. From time to time i feel i'm just wasting air for people who really haves a good life... but that's not true.

Still, i want to live. Some years ago i was about to kill myself 5 or 6 times, i can't even remember, then, one of my best friends killed himself because he had a life bad or worst than mine. That death changed me completely. And you know what? not taking the suicide path has been worthwhile. You know.... life isn't always bad. And there's always pèople who really cares about you even when they don't tell it all the time... Debts, drunk issues, family issues... everything can be fixed, but death.
I know how you feel, really. I've felt that way several times, more than a common human does (i was labeled as "suicidal" by a psychiatrist before, because killing myself is always on my mind, even when i stopped trying to do it when my friend died in 2003). I've also think that when I die, all the universe will collapse and die with me.... maybe that happens, who knows. Maybe the universe IS what we have created and there's nothing aside of what we can see or imagine it is, so i'm also a part of your creation!. Or maybe you're a part of mine right now. Maybe i'm writing this to tell ME again not to kill myself while trying to help somebody else who doesn't exists. Possibilities are as big as you can think of them, maybe even more big.
Again, don't do it... really. If i succeeded those times i tryied to kill myself the world surelly would had changed, as my world changed when my friend died. If you die, the world of your loved ones IS going to change, and maybe it's gonna end for some of them.

I'm not sending you to see a psychiatrist, i'm not sending you to take pills and sedate yourself to see a different world, or to go and sell a kidney in the black market to pay your debts and I don't even pretend to change your mind with a bad english redacted message in a forum... but maybe this message can make that "click" in your head... who knows, as i've said, possibilities are infinite.

Think again. You can kill not only your universe, but several ones. As you can create new ones with your solely existence.

- Cags.

Mate,

you owe a lot of money and you are depressed, sucks I know.


1. Stop gambling, it will never ever help. Making imaginary deals in your head and then going to the bookies to see if it worked is no way to solve your problems.

2. Stop drinking, drinking is just hiding, the problems are still there when you come out of hiding.

3. Stop smoking weed / getting high. Depending on your choice of drug it will do 1 of two things. Either make you more paranoid and increase your delusions / let you temporarily hide like the drinking.



1. Do - talk to your wife about exactly how you are feeling, spell it out to her, be honest about your debts etc

2. Do - go to the citizens advice or phone debtline and give them a full rundown of your income and outgoing and let them negotiate with your creditors for you and arrange a payment plan that will work for you.

3. Do - go to your doctor and explain to him everything about how you feel. He will offer you drugs, it is up to you if you accept or not but insist with him that you need to see a professional counseller to help you with your feelings of helplesness, depression and dependency on gambling and substances.



There is a route out of this situation, it is not through making deals with devils, it is not through asking Jesus to help you, it is not in the bottom of the bottle and it is not at the bookies.

It is inside you and it involves taking simple practical steps to resolve each problem one by one, as a whole they seem insurmountable, they are not. Take one step at a time and deal with each issue on its own and the holistic situation of your life will improve.

If you want to U2U message me feel free, I will not preach at you, I will not judge you or anything but I am happy to provide any support I can, provide phone numbers for citizens advice, adise how you can help resolve debt problems etc.

Don't give up, forget about good and evil sides making you do things, just make some good decisions that will help alleviate your problems.

Good luck bro.

Originally posted by michael1983l
Yes very outlandish I know and very hard to believe but just hear me out. I believe that for each life there is an individual universe.
*Snip*

This is doing you no good,put this thought out of your mind,its nonsense.

However here's the bad part, I had to be bailed out by my parents twice in order to service my debts and I know owe them personally £20,000. This makes me very nervouse as they earn a fraction that I do and I know they cannot afford to pay it for me, at the same time in the UK things have gone to the worse and things become very expensive and I found myself with a single income with a mortgage to pay as well as a second mortgage to my parents. I am not going to lie I spent lots of money drinking and even some on drugs because I wanted to remove myself from my own reality and also I realise that I made massive mistakes and should have taken more responsibility.

Your wife and children rely on you to do the right thing,now is the time to start.

You admit to having a somewhat decent income that your parents earn a fraction of,so if they can afford to bail you out you can man up and repay these debts responsibly,even if that means in baby steps.

I know you feel bad and really you should,it would be worse however if you didn`t.

This is a turning point for you to take back control of yourself,your family deserve no less.

Every wrong choice you made you knew it was wrong yet still decided to do it.

Nows the time to choose correctly,the difference will be a less exciting life as compared to gambling (get rich quick solutions) and drinking (escaping reality)etc which will only inhibit your progress.

In doing so,you will start getting some self respect back,by at least doing your best.

Anyway the prophecies are correct, the world is ending by 2012 because my life is due to end.

This is absolute crap,the myan calender and all this rubbish is going to leave many people red faced.Its further beyond crap that you believe its because of you.

Toss it like its a bad joke!

Have mercy on me and pray for me.

God knows our prayers before we pray them,God also helps those who help themself.

You need to stop what has cause you and your family grief and then you will see things gradually improve.

Hopefully you will do a 180 turn on those issues and build a better life for yourself and your family,but you have to want it and not shrink when you need to make a choice.

All the best.

I'm not worried for me, my universe is fine, but does no-one think Michael1983 might be on the brink of suicide? Shouldn't somebody send a doctor round to his house?

reply to post by michael1983l


Michael, the part in your post that grabbed my attention is when you said that on a 50/50 game in the casinos you always lost. How is that possible on a 50/50 game (like roulette) unless the casinos is rigged to make you lose. I have though in many occassions into going to atlantic city to employ a strategy that I think will almost guarantee that I win on roulette, it involves placing your first bet as $1 if you lose double it to $2, if you lose keep on doubleing to $4, $8, $16 until you win (1+2+4+8+16=$31 dollars you have lose so far) but when you won your final $16 bet, it gets doubled and your earnings will reflect $32 paying back all what you have lost plus earning you a +$1 profit. I am reluctant into trying this on online casinos since I do NOT trust them and I assume that online casinos are prepared to deal with these kinds of betters and will cheat you out without you realizing you were cheated out, I trust more the real casinos like Atlantic City, not only they are reputable, but they are a physical real location with real accessories that you get to see and feel for your self, they can't cheat you out there.

So, I am intrigued to know, what exactly was the 50/50 chance game that you always kept on loosing? was this on a real casino or a online one?

I have never been to any casinos before, just have these theories that I will need to soon validate on a real casinos with a $200 spending budget one day.

reply to post by michael1983l

Michael,glad to see you were on ATS five minutes ago, please post tonight to let us know that youve thought about things and that hopefully you might be feeling a little better.

Thanks for everybodies advice, not sure what to say really. I am just going to get by and let god into my life and hope things change for the better. No more gambling, I don't take drugs any more that was in the past and I rarely drink now.

I have to do it because my daughters need me. I have to succeed for the sake of them and for the sake of not making my parents bankrupt.

reply to post by wigit

I'm not worried for me, my universe is fine, but does no-one think Michael1983 might be on the brink of suicide? Shouldn't somebody send a doctor round to his house?

Now see that. I knew this guy wasn't a selfish weak lil sissy that would take the easy way out. And ruin everyones life who love him. Your still young and alive partner. With just those two things going for you life can take you anywhere.