Stupid Things You Used To Think

This morning on The Chris Moyles Show in the UK they had people texting in with stupid things they used to think, so I'm wondering, what stupid things did you used to think? Here's some examples from the show:

"My wife wondered how diversion signs knew where you were going"

"I used to think Petrol Stations were built where there was petrol under the ground"

"I thought the road sign with a motorbike over a car meant moterbikes weren't allowed to jump over cars"

"I used to think all dogs were male and cats were female"

I think you get the idea. For me, admittedly I was young so it's not so bad, but I used to think babys came from the little seeds in a tomato, I used to make my Mum eat loads of tomatoes because I wanted a little brother. I never got a little brother

reply to post by DJKris


I can't think of any off the top of my head. BUT, I do know my younger brother believed for a few years of our childhood that the moon was California... We were driving to Disneyland from Utah, it was night and I told him that's where we were going, California I wasn't always the nicest big brother.

Oh, and I told him Nevada was a bridge to it.

My mother once told me never to wipe chicken poo off eggs because the shell is porous. Somehow between that and my brain, I cleverly deduced that because eggs were porous, a chicken lays and egg and the rooster comes along and **** all over it and voila - fertilized egg and eventually baby chickens.

It wasn't until I was at a friends place when I was 19 and saw their's 'fighting' and commented that they should put them in separate pens before they killed eachother that I was told what I was witnessing was chicken romance.

That my neighbour was a serial killer, for some odd reason that creepy old man fit the bill! He was never home at night, turns out 85 year old grandpa over there's got him a hot spanish girlfriend. And we're still wondering how.

reply to post by DJKris


I used to think ghosts only come out when it rains heavily.

reply to post by DJKris


Good thread.

When i was young i use to wonder why people don't have outlines around them like those TV cartoons.

I listened to this as well...

I also used to think that everything was in black and white...

Also, when I took my wife to see jurasic park quite a few years ago, she thought, (until recently) that the poorley dino was actualy real!!! lol

reply to post by DJKris


my mom saw a commercial about electronics being outdated before they came out of the box and in the commercial this guy buys a 3d tv and the van delivering it say 4d tv coming soon. My mom asked me wow theres 4d tv. I said yes mom i have one but since we don't live in the 4th dimension you cant see it she laughed and got it pretty quick.

When I was little I used to think that the boulder covered mountains and canyons were where giants went poop and it got petrified over the years. I recently shared that with my 10 year old daughter while driving through the hills, and she thought I was crazy but added that giant dinosaur poop would be more believable. No doubt in my mind that she's my kid.

Originally posted by exmouthram
I listened to this as well...

I also used to think that everything was in black and white...

Did you also not know raisin's were dried grapes? Because I had no idea!

I used to think we would go back to the moon, or even Mars.

Man, was i wrong....


Seriously, my mother tells me that I used to call the ditch a bi,........well you get the idea. Very small. I do not remember such an event.lol Look at the ball over there in the b_____.

Originally posted by DJKris

Originally posted by exmouthram
I listened to this as well...

I also used to think that everything was in black and white...

Did you also not know raisin's were dried grapes? Because I had no idea!

No wonder they taste like mouse poop.

look like and taste.

Ironic, how the sweetest fruit is considered so, but we also like it dry and ugly.

"This juicy sweet fruit tastes great dry and bland!"

I used to think the fast lane was for faster cars
I used to think if you held your tongue out when the wind changed it's stay like that
I used to think people actually voted for things other than for money in their own pocket
I used to think people that thought aliens were real were nuts (now I know)
I used to think duct tape was called duck tape
I used to think the 'Greenies' were horrible slimy things that got up your nose... no wait.. they are
I used to think evolution was possible but then I realised its irrational
I used to think gay was being happy
I used to think fags were smokes
I used to think blonde jokes were funny, but real blondes are funnier
I used to think marriage was for life, now I know it is
I used to think a funny bone actually laughed
I used to think racism was a thing only for white people
I used to think it was weird people were accussed of Jay walking if their name was Larry
I used to think computers would create less paper usage
I used to think my 1991 computer was the bomb
I used to think when people laughed at me as a kid it was because I was funny
I used to think that only greedy people had money till I learnt you have to actually go out and earn it
I used to think rap music was rubbish but it's worse than that
I used to think if you kept digging a hole you'd get to China, but it turned out to be somewhere else instead
I used to think California was a bright place, but it was just the sun
I used to think American Idol was just ok till Steven Tyler became a judge and made it better
I used to think the USA ran the world just like those in America still think they do
I used to think it was strange Greenland was covered in white ice
I used to think a Dictator was a funny shaped potatoe
I used to think that groups of gang members liked getting a middle digit flashed at them
I used to think hospital treatment was free
I used to think I was invincible but 25' waves can show you otherwise
I used to think the most innocent looking people were all nice
I used to think some of the roughest looking were all bad
I used to think being a male made you a man
I used to think you lived your life only for yourself
I used to think children were somthing you had not something you gave
I used to think the law was always there to protect the public
I used to think Nissan produced nice good looking cars
I used to think I was weak till I stood down an angry crowd of 70 all on my own
I used to think tough people were actually tough even when they were alone
I used to think smoking was ok
I used to think Barbie looked like a slut
I used to think Barbie (the toy) did too
I used to think Lady Gaga was just acting weird for attention and was not mentally disturbed at all
I used to think those who said the media were untrustworthy could not lie themselves
I used to think we'd run out of oil by 1993
I used to think there was nothing new to discover
I used to think I wasn't a morning person, but after lunch never got any better either
I used to think the Tasmanian Devil was just atypical Australian
I used to think global warming was rubbish till I saw a scotsman with a suntan
I used to think chewing your fingernails counted towards daily Calcium intake
I used to think I could set up an anarchist society but no obeyed the rules
I used to think it was ok to take the Porche for a test drive, until the neighbour noticed it was missing
I used to think I was indecisive but now I'm not so sure
I used to think earings, handbags and makeup was something just for girls
I used to think young people were bright when I was young

I thought of one!.... it's a bit embarrassing. However, when I was little, I was afraid of going #2. I thought it was a very real possibility that either a very large snake, or a 'poop monster' would come out from the toilet while I was sitting on it. I would do my business as fast as I possibly could, flush, and GTFO of there before it came out to get me.

So ridiculous, the things we believe when we are children.

Originally posted by daggyz
I used to think the fast lane was for faster cars
I used to think if you held your tongue out when the wind changed it's stay like that
I used to think people actually voted for things other than for money in their own pocket
I used to think people that thought aliens were real were nuts (now I know)
I used to think duct tape was called duck tape
I used to think the 'Greenies' were horrible slimy things that got up your nose... no wait.. they are
I used to think evolution was possible but then I realised its irrational
I used to think gay was being happy
I used to think fags were smokes
I used to think blonde jokes were funny, but real blondes are funnier
I used to think marriage was for life, now I know it is
I used to think a funny bone actually laughed
I used to think racism was a thing only for white people
I used to think it was weird people were accussed of Jay walking if their name was Larry
I used to think computers would create less paper usage
I used to think my 1991 computer was the bomb
I used to think when people laughed at me as a kid it was because I was funny
I used to think that only greedy people had money till I learnt you have to actually go out and earn it
I used to think rap music was rubbish but it's worse than that
I used to think if you kept digging a hole you'd get to China, but it turned out to be somewhere else instead
I used to think California was a bright place, but it was just the sun
I used to think American Idol was just ok till Steven Tyler became a judge and made it better
I used to think the USA ran the world just like those in America still think they do
I used to think it was strange Greenland was covered in white ice
I used to think a Dictator was a funny shaped potatoe
I used to think that groups of gang members liked getting a middle digit flashed at them
I used to think hospital treatment was free
I used to think I was invincible but 25' waves can show you otherwise
I used to think the most innocent looking people were all nice
I used to think some of the roughest looking were all bad
I used to think being a male made you a man
I used to think you lived your life only for yourself
I used to think children were somthing you had not something you gave
I used to think the law was always there to protect the public
I used to think Nissan produced nice good looking cars
I used to think I was weak till I stood down an angry crowd of 70 all on my own
I used to think tough people were actually tough even when they were alone
I used to think smoking was ok
I used to think Barbie looked like a slut
I used to think Barbie (the toy) did too
I used to think Lady Gaga was just acting weird for attention and was not mentally disturbed at all
I used to think those who said the media were untrustworthy could not lie themselves
I used to think we'd run out of oil by 1993
I used to think there was nothing new to discover
I used to think I wasn't a morning person, but after lunch never got any better either
I used to think the Tasmanian Devil was just atypical Australian
I used to think global warming was rubbish till I saw a scotsman with a suntan
I used to think chewing your fingernails counted towards daily Calcium intake
I used to think I could set up an anarchist society but no obeyed the rules
I used to think it was ok to take the Porche for a test drive, until the neighbour noticed it was missing
I used to think I was indecisive but now I'm not so sure
I used to think earings, handbags and makeup was something just for girls
I used to think young people were bright when I was young

edit on 26-5-2011 by daggyz because: (no reason given)

Dude, fags are smokes or a homophobic slur, depends on where you live

Before reading some of these replies, I thought I was the only one this messed up.

Actually, when I was very small and while riding in the front seat of the car, I ask my grandpa what would happen if he turned the ignition keys the other way. Would the car engine turn backwards?

reply to post by Lighterside


Actually I was afraid of the toilet for awhile when I was little because I saw a movie poster for jaws and they had the shark coming out of the toilet. So yea, was afraid of the shark.

I thought driving stick meant you had to learn to offroad by driving over a bunch of sticks.

I wouldn't eat cheesecake cuz I thought it was made from American or cheddar and in cake form that is just gross.

The arms race were people running a race on their hands.

reply to post by badw0lf


I know where rasins come from... but im not being daft, but Im goin to have to admit, i dont know what saltanas are... seriously..lol

When I was little, I used to think that you could call Information (411) for...well...information. Since I was home alone that day with no one to help me with my math homework, I called and asked the Information lady.

She explained to me that Information was for getting phone numbers etc...but also helped me with my homework! What a nice lady!