Join the Church of Carlin today. I am starting a new religion. I believe in the prophet George Carli

reply to post by IkNOwSTuff


Maybe you should read more.
Firstly, you have to use your real name and then swear an oath.
I however agree this church needs marketing and outreach. And I'm definately not the guy to do the outreaching. I'm way too reclusive for that.

When you join you can be the head of the propoganda wing.

Originally posted by MarceloGiuliano
reply to post by Robin Marks

 

Well... Are Cardinals positions still open? Altar boys? I'll prefer the Cardinal of C.O.C... but any other light job would suffice . Also I would like to make a HUGE Donation : 1.000.000.000 Dollars (Zimbabwen of course...I think It's about 5 US$) . May I suggest to have Altar Girls (18+) . Do you got a chorus? Because I can Donate 20 of the voices in my head, just to make a jumpstart...I know that by now The COC must be full of members... but I have an ego to maintain... I NEED to be a part of COC... Please?

edit on 15-4-2011 by MarceloGiuliano because: grammar...

You can be a Cardinal of COC. It looks like you're already using your real name. It would appear you may be of Italian descent. I love Italians. And Italians love me. In fact, a family of Italians here where I now reside, have adopted me and want me to become part of their family.

So now you must take the oath. It's simple.

Just hold up your hand after you write down, "Reality is the Joke. Carlin is God." Say the oath aloud.
Presto chango. You're a member. And not only that. You'll be the first Cardinal.

And you can be the head of the choir. A choir is nothing more than a bunch of cheerleaders. So you are in charge of the cheerleaders and the pep squads.

A good place to recruit new cheerleaders is at sports stadiums when major sport teams have their tryouts. Thousands of young women flock to these events. But the odds are against them. There are usually only a dozen or so spots to fill.
So this means after the tryouts, there are multitudes of disappointed cheerleaders on their way home. If you were to offer these ladies a free ticket to heaven and a chance to preform for our church, they may feel better about themselves. Tell them there is a place for them. Tell them there are lots of open positions in our squad.

reply to post by Robin Marks


(shout)
Reality is the Joke. Carlin is God.
(end shout)

CHEERLEADERS....How could I didn't see the true before...
This evening I'll be starting the casting for the positions
My donation is also on the mail (No problem with the 1.000.000.000 bill, but those 20 pesky voices were hard to fit on one single envelope..,)
Are we going to be having any special events like stoning people to death ... Could we burn some books ?

reply to post by Robin Marks


But dude.........

I just joined this site and I already got 6 stars on this account and dont wanna lose em.

How bout this, as head of propaganda I decree we need a prophet!!!
I put myself forward as the logical choice as its pretty much a prophets job to run a Strong PR campaign before going out in some really cool memorable way hence enhancing the prestige of his religion.

I think that due to the sacrifices I will be forced to make in the name of Carlinism that I should be exempt from the true name rule. Also Its better for the masses if I am somewhat mysterious.

Looking forward to your holinesseses approval and to the time when I can start my god giuven mission and spread the word

Hallejuyah

reply to post by MarceloGiuliano


You have found the word. You are a member of the Church of Carlin.

Since you are one of the thirteen founding members, you are a Cardinal.

Carlin loved books. The bible was the source for his best material. Why would anyone want to destroy the joke?
God loves entertainment. Jon Stewart, Cohan, and Colbert need Donald Trump. Without Donald Trump, comedy becomes so much more boring.

reply to post by IkNOwSTuff


Sorry IknowStuff. I don't make up the rules because I'm not the prophet. Carlin was the prophet.

I have only one job. I'm the communications department. I'm just the vessel. I'm just the red telephone to heaven. God speaks. I listen. He gave us the answers. I'm just repeating the message.


Oh yes, the proverb of the day, or did I already do that? Whatever, here one anyway...

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

reply to post by Robin Marks


OK now Im confused!!!

I thought Carlin was God????

If he was only a prophet then who was the higher power?

Dude Ive reread this thread and Im starting to get the impression that perhaps you may not be doing this for selfish meglomaniacal purposes.

Before we continue any further can you please confirm that the purpose of setting up this religion is eventual world domination with yourself and your cardinals, prophets etc as the ruling elite.

Cheers

Carlin is the father, the sun, and the holy ghost.

He was the prophet. Here is another sign of his relevations. You live in a police state.

Today a man was arrested in New York City for telling a joke.

www.youtube.com...

Someone has started a thread on the very subject. Telling jokes is serious business. Because when you tell jokes, you should be aware the funny man is the first to die.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

I have followed your's and Susan;s threads for a while and love them, could I join your church please?

I would like to apply as a non celibate nun

Keep up the good work!

p.s I do accounts and live in Ireland, will I be treasurer?

reply to post by TeresaDarling


All you got to do is make the pledge.
State that reality is the joke. And say that Carlin is God.

Originally posted by Robin Marks
Not only can people not read, they can not comprehend.

I was put down as crazy. I know there is a stigma attached to mentally illness. I know this intimately.
I was called stupid. I was told George Carlin would be rolling around in his grave. I don't think he really believe in an after-life persay, so I think he'd find that funny.

This thread is hilarious, so I just had to reply. If this was an experiment to show that people have lost their sense of humor, or can not comprehend several paragraphs, so they just read a couple lines, then pass judgement, it was a success.

Also, it was interesting how after the first couple negative comments, everyone kind of played follow the leader, maybe an example of the hive mind, or whatever it is called. But it really cheered me up, as it was fun to see how people answered, not what I expected on ATS, oh well...

I mostly lurk in Fragile Earth, and I always learn so much from what you share, so thanks Robin.

George Carlin would love this thread! And he would think the church is funny, especially the part about the pimpmobile.

reply to post by PacificBlue


Thank you. The experiment was as I expected. Only the minority get it.
My results confirm the Milgram and Stanford experiments. People cannot think for themselves and rely on preconcieved mores and social norms to guide thier thinking and behaviour.

This is why people don't understand and cannot except my theories. Since I have no authority, or social status, my ideas are on the fringe and are dismissed. Despite them being brilliant, and more importantly, right.

I am writing not to my contemporaries. I am writing so those in the future can study social behaviour. I want them to now I knew I was right, but had no way to get a real hearing. I guess you can say that the powerless have no real voice. The individual can not stand against the authority of the majority. I guess I need some popular kid to like my new pants before I am accepted. Otherwise, I may as well be invisible.

I am Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer.