Join the Church of Carlin today. I am starting a new religion. I believe in the prophet George Carli

Let me start by saying I am the Pope.
I started the church. So I am the Pope.

I'm going to cheat here and repost my original idea statement from another thread. That thread is too important to ruin with my sermons on unrelated topics.

Here's the thread...
www.abovetopsecret.com...

I started it because I was hoping to save some lives. The gas companies are going to cause a catastrope.

Now back to the purpose of the Church of Carlin.
Ah, screw it. I'm tired and I've already ranted on my other thread today so I'm out of steam and am running out of witty things to write. So, you all can say what you want about our God.

Some rules for the membership.
You're gonna hate me. But so what. I'm the Pope.

Rule number one. You cannot be a member until swear an oath. Using your real name. I use my real name. So I don't want any 2012endtimesbob joining my church. I'll come up with the oath later. It's just a bunch of words anyways. It is just to prove you'll say whatever I tell you to say. Hell, if you want to come up with an oath. Go to town. I'm open.

You can comment here using your online handles. But you won't become a real member until you start a new account with your real name. Don't be afraid. I'm not. Only people brave enough to drop the phony identities can join my church. If your one of the first to join. You can become a cardinal. Or is it a bishop that's next in line? Who cares. I'll have thirteen cardinals. Why thirteen? Because it's holy I say. It's my favorite number.

It's great to be a member of the Church of Carlin. Because we don't have an actual building. So you don't have to dress up in your Sunday Best. The computer screen is our temple. You can sit in your dirty underwear and pray if you want. I don't care. As long as you pray. Pray to our God, George Carlin. For stuff.


Here's another one of those commandent type things. You know, rules. No New World Order Bullpucky.

Our lord spoke of world dominatino by the owners. But it doesn't need any extra conspiracy overtones. It's simply the owners and the workers. Simple class struggle. As Pope, I deem it a sin to say that distracts from the simple struggle between the rich and the poor, between the haves' and havenots. Please try to use the same common sense that our Lord Carlin used in his sermons. It's really simple.

The word HAARP here is blasphemy. HAARP and other ideas are put out there as distractions. Don't fall into the trap. The simple answer is that we are not free. The corportations and the wealthy are trying to monopolize the world. I would call it the New World Order but it's not so. It's the same fracking people that have always determined when countries went to war. It is the same order that has always made up the rules and run the culture. It's the Old World Order.

So please spare me your new conspiracies and save them for the other threads. I'm still raging against the orignal ones,so I will excommunicate anyone that doesn't understand this order from you God, George Carlin.

Ok, I've gone too far, too fast. Here's the post where I was divinly inspired by our Lord...


"I've concluded that I have no control over my writing anymore.
I could write on my alternative thread, Robinesque Ruminations.
But that is a disappointment, because it failed at it's real purpose.
I won't elaborate on that subject.

It is obvious that I am not focused here. My frustration is too great. It is contaminating this valuable discussion. So I need to find another outlet. Since I can't stop writing. And since I have no control. The subject needs to be grand and I feel compelled to find a truth which will comfort me. I was having trouble figuring out what to do. I can't finish my novel. I'm not able to find the right frame of mind. I'm too stressed. I had find something.

Then I figured it all out. I found my purpose.

I need something to believe in. I need faith. The only thing I believe in now is my writing. When I think I am right, and I think I have something important to say, I write. It's like I'm possessed. It's a complusion akin to a spiritual awakening of sorts. When I write, I want to preach. But I follow no organized faith. I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member. So how can I preach the truth when I can't find anyone who believes in everything that I do?

Well I found once person.
But he's dead.
He was a prophet and was the most truthful person I've ever heard speak.
He spoke my language. He thinks about things in the same way I do.

I'm starting a new religion.
The prophet's name is George Carlin.
I am going to found the Church of Carlin.
I am the first Carlinite.
And since I am the first Carlinite.
I'm the Pope of the church.

That ought to keep me busy. I need to organize a new religion into a movement.
Wow. Hard work sucks.


So I'm going to start a new thread. I'll post the link after I start it. I just need to spare you my sermons on this thread."


So my brothers and sisters, join the Church of Carlin and spread the good word. Well, words more precisely. You know, the seven dirty words you can't say on television.

Imagine this. If I were to say fu... or the other dirty words, this post would be removed.
What a strange world. So if you want to understand the world, join today.

Peace out.

And to hell with any errors or grammical mutilations. I am infallible. Just change the way to spell words from now on to follow my example. I am the Pope.

Do you remember the Monty Python gag called the bishop? I should find a You Tube link.....


This scene ends with me walking away from my computer to have a cigarette, the whole time muttering and fretting as I fade from view.

Carlin would turn around in his grave if he heard this...

Just what the world needs - another church. Before you dive headlong into religeous dogma consider that the church is just a control mechanism and you are suggesting a new one- oops. Is it just me or have people truly lost the ability to think?

reply to post by Robin Marks


Carlin good, CRACK BAD. Don't hit the glass ____ before posting and people might participate.

Oh and Joe bless you

unhuh

Robin are you feeling alright? how are you migraines? better i hope


as i know for a fact that Mr carlin did live and in our lifetime to boot that doesnt mean i gotta join the church, i got my own alter and church at home where i believe in Jimi , jim freddy Ludvig, and bruce id follow them any day ... and yes you can guess their surnames .... as for carlin hes funny and hes logical but no need for him to have his own church ... plus its not what he would have wanted if he was still alive ...

George Carlin was a man who fought hard to show people that religion was the biggest scam the world had ever seen. He was a comedian and a preacher however he didn't preach as a religious man he preached against them and your gunna try and start a church about him? IDIOT your an idiot, Why don't you dig up his grave and take a leak ass whole.

False church
False prophet

Robin Robin Robin Robin Robin Robin

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Carlin is happy being gone. Don't start a church of him because if his followers pray enough he just might have to come back and believe me he doesn't want to do that.

Thinik about a chruch to Bill HIcks instead...

"The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music." - George Carlin

"I've begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun. It's there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to God are all answered at about the same 50-percent rate." - George Carlin

He also had some interesting views on flame throwers as you can see from my sig...

reply to post by TerryMcGuire


Now a Bill Hicks Church - that's a church I'd join...

You had me at George Carlin!

Amen, brother! Hallelujah!

Although calling it a "church" is an oxy moron, but aren't too many of us anyway. I'll join ya philosophically as he often gets a hoop outta me!

Then you are Doom to fail ! There shall be no religions in the Advanced civilisation of the golden age. The spiritually intelligent and advance people has no need for fabricated religious mutterings to misguide and mislead them

I am a devout Jedi and nothing will steer me from the path of true enlightenment , except a crate of Bud . How fickle we Jedi have become

Carlin was funny early on in his career and his best comedy was when he disected language and all its idiosyncrasies and but in all honesty, he turned into an insuferable nihilistic anit human prick in his later years. I know a lot of people worship the ground he walked on, but I couldnt stand listening to him at the end.

Ha - to all the atheists who think religion will die out or the world will be better without it. This is proof people are willing to MAKE a religion out of anything. What's ironic is that Carlin was an atheist and the OP wants a religion in honor of him.

"Facepalm from beyond the grave!!!"

Originally posted by SirMike
Carlin was funny early on in his career and his best comedy was when he disected language and all its idiosyncrasies and but in all honesty, he turned into an insuferable nihilistic anit human prick in his later years. I know a lot of people worship the ground he walked on, but I couldnt stand listening to him at the end.

You know... at the end he got a lot of folks feeling the way you described. However, IMHO... I think it was because he spoke the truth. He didn't care anymore (and he didn't need to), if he was going to offend anyone. So he spoke the truth. And the simple fact of the matter is, the truth hurts.

We preach here to "deny ignorance". When in a lot of reality, we actually "deny truth".

Humans are creatures with emotions.

Ignorance is bliss. Truth hurts.

If you take this whole thread, and change the dates to a couple thousand years ago, we'd probably have a very accurate boil-down of the ideology that went into creating churches and religions.

Robin Marks, I understand your frustrations, but promoting more division in this world would be counter productive IMO.

I'm not convinced George would be okay with this.
Might make him laugh but you know he might consider it blasphemous too considering he worshipped the sun - oh and Joe Pesci...

Originally posted by DevilJin
Ha - to all the atheists who think religion will die out or the world will be better without it. This is proof people are willing to MAKE a religion out of anything. What's ironic is that Carlin was an atheist and the OP wants a religion in honor of him.

"Facepalm from beyond the grave!!!"

First point. Carlin never said he was an atheist. He wouldn't even let himself be called agnostic. You are wrong. I am Pope. I am the only one knows everything the prophet meant.

Secondly. More negative comments please. I need all the persecuction I can get. No self-respecting religion can get famous unless there's an injustice meeted out by the intolerant old religion followers.

Let's see. So far I've been called a drug addict and I've been called stupid. I've also been told that The Prophet is rolling over in his grave with the idea that I would start a religion in his name. Carlin speaks through me, I am the Pople, so as the devil always says on his Fox show, he also goes by William or Bill, SHUT UP!!! JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN!!!!

I'll tell you right now that I'm not really into the whole martyrdom thing. And I'm not always that peaceful. I'll give up my time, but I ain't getting hung up on a cross. You've got me mistaken for the old messiah Brian.

Now go away.
Leave me alone.
I'm not your saviour.

www.youtube.com...

Being the pope, will you have a popemobile as well?
If so will it have that open spot on top?
Will you be cruising around any tall buildings?
Thank you in advance.