Shortest horror story ever! Seriously!

Originally posted by AZsunshine

My gosh...I've heard the expression 'read between the lines' but you've taken it to a whole new level. LOL

This is too funny.

What, were you reading a different story then me? Did you not tear up when Walter had to make the heart-wrenching decision to put his wife into rehab, even though he knew that his daughter would resent him for it? I know that I went through more than one box of tissues when Bill (from upper management) ran over the goldfish, and had to have it put to sleep. And, of course, there was that weird guy, Fred...but the less said about him, the better.

Read it through, and then read it again. That story changed my life!

reply to post by abecedarian


YES! YES! YES!

Perfect! These people that survived on a smoke break also met up with the guy who lived underground and they got on the alien ship and made a new home on Nibiru And then built a factory to manufacture no explosive teeth. But a sloppy job made a tooth that exploded in his face.. Blinding him in one eye.

reply to post by LobeDethFaurt


No you see.. Bill ran over the gold fish and it's teeth exploded so bill reversed and ran over it again to put out of it's misery.

reply to post by kid_cudi



Did his eye land inside his brain too??

We now have brainless, toothless & blind nude people working at this factory with explosions and gore.


Ah, the makings of a cult classic!!

Originally posted by AZsunshine
reply to post by kid_cudi

 

Did his eye land inside his brain too??

We now have brainless, toothless & blind nude people working at this factory with explosions and gore.


Ah, the makings of a cult classic!!

You forgot time travel, aliens, Nibiru and zombies (unless you missed the prequel / reboot).

reply to post by LobeDethFaurt


Wait... Wasn't fred the weird IT guy that stuck his pe*is in the pencil sharpeners?

Originally posted by kid_cudi
reply to post by LobeDethFaurt

 

Wait... Wasn't fred the weird IT guy that stuck his pe*is in the pencil sharpeners?

Were they manual or electric sharpeners?

Originally posted by AZsunshine
reply to post by kid_cudi

 

...
We now have brainless, toothless & blind nude people working at this factory with explosions and gore.

Ah, the makings of a cult classic!!

Even more so if done with lego's.

reply to post by abecedarian


They were manual pencil sharpeners

Originally posted by kid_cudi
reply to post by LobeDethFaurt

 

Wait... Wasn't fred the weird IT guy that stuck his pe*is in the pencil sharpeners?

Yeah...that kind of freaked me out. I mean, who would want to do something like that? Unless it is some sort of weird alien form of circumcision (sp)? I think he WAS an alien, and he is the one that set off the initial explosion. Or, perhaps, in the world of this story, maybe a severe case of gingivitis has spread throughout the factory, making everyone have to get new teeth. It was spread by the alien Fred, so he could sneak into people's houses at night, spreading an explosive gel on every pair of dentures. That way, when the explosion at the factory occured, all of the teeth would also explode, ensuring a simple victory for the aliens. But, they didn't expect the smokers on break, or the guy living underground. After the explosion, Fred makes his way out of the factory, intent on calling the fleet of alien ships hiding just outsie the oort cloud. Before he could make that call, the handful of survivors kill him, and use his flesh to make blankets out of, because they are clold.

Originally posted by kid_cudi
reply to post by abecedarian

 

They were manual pencil sharpeners

Well duh! Who sharpens an automatic pencil?

Look I know you dont want me hanging around your threads,as you cant handle any criticism,so i will just say that this thread is a huge improvement over previous efforts.

Originally posted by abecedarian

Originally posted by kid_cudi
reply to post by abecedarian

 

They were manual pencil sharpeners

Well duh! Who sharpens an automatic pencil?

Oh, it can be done. The outcome is usually quite disasterous. One time, I sharpened an electric pencil, and woke up in a dumpster in San Diego. Crazy stuff. Best left to the professionals.

Originally posted by LobeDethFaurt

Originally posted by abecedarian

Originally posted by kid_cudi
reply to post by abecedarian

 

They were manual pencil sharpeners

Well duh! Who sharpens an automatic pencil?

Oh, it can be done. The outcome is usually quite disasterous. One time, I sharpened an electric pencil, and woke up in a dumpster in San Diego. Crazy stuff. Best left to the professionals.

Oh? That was you?

reply to post by 12voltz


Hey it's all good bro. Thanks come join in and have yourself a fantasic time like the rest of us. I have never laughed so hard man. And should I stick to these story threads or not?

Wait... You guys totally forgot about the guy that would sneak up on people and hit them in the balls with a stapler.. Whatever happened to him I wonder?

Originally posted by abecedarian

Originally posted by LobeDethFaurt

Originally posted by abecedarian

Originally posted by kid_cudi
reply to post by abecedarian

 

They were manual pencil sharpeners

Well duh! Who sharpens an automatic pencil?

Oh, it can be done. The outcome is usually quite disasterous. One time, I sharpened an electric pencil, and woke up in a dumpster in San Diego. Crazy stuff. Best left to the professionals.

Oh? That was you?

Yep. Me. But, not me. Someone else entirely. Me. You know, like that guy who does stuff, and goes places, and says things? Yeah. That guy.
I bet it was secretly you, masquerading as me. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

Originally posted by kid_cudi
Wait... You guys totally forgot about the guy that would sneak up on people and hit them in the balls with a stapler.. Whatever happened to him I wonder?

He stapled himself in the breakroom at the factory and perished in the explosion only to return as a zombie in Part III....

Originally posted by kid_cudi
Wait... You guys totally forgot about the guy that would sneak up on people and hit them in the balls with a stapler.. Whatever happened to him I wonder?

I thought that he was the one who went to the CEO and got Marcy kicked off of the VP Commission. Of course, that was only because she turned down his advances. THAT is when he started doing that to people, remember? He was ok for a character, but I just didn't connect with him, chiefly due to the fact that I have no balls. I lost them almost 15 years ago. Tragic marriage accident. I don't like to talk about it.

Originally posted by LobeDethFaurt

Originally posted by abecedarian

Originally posted by LobeDethFaurt

Originally posted by abecedarian

Originally posted by kid_cudi
reply to post by abecedarian

 

They were manual pencil sharpeners

Well duh! Who sharpens an automatic pencil?

Oh, it can be done. The outcome is usually quite disasterous. One time, I sharpened an electric pencil, and woke up in a dumpster in San Diego. Crazy stuff. Best left to the professionals.

Oh? That was you?

Yep. Me. But, not me. Someone else entirely. Me. You know, like that guy who does stuff, and goes places, and says things? Yeah. That guy.
I bet it was secretly you, masquerading as me. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

Now that was a vision you, I mean we could've done without.

And why do those air fresheners keep going off?