21 Mentally ill and pregnant. What to do?

reply to post by destination now


Were i a mod, that would have gotten you an applaud.
Second line reserved for future rebuttal or just plain gibberish in the event i am speechless.

reply to post by TheWalkingFox


Look people are just a-holes, No one cares about the future and they all live for now. No one cares how they will raise the kid. These people are ignorant and its a circle that will never end, their parents did it to them and they will continue to do it to their children. This has to stop now, someone has to put a little bit of sense into their heads.

One thing I've learned over the years is that you cannot help people that will not help themselves and I learned my lesson. If you want to carry the whole world on your shoulders be my guest....

Originally posted by Serizawa
Sterilizing people with low IQ's may not be such a bad thing after all. It's sad how.

Yeah I think Hitler had similar idea's, surely not the way any decent society should head. Tackling the causes of mental illness, like inequalities in society is a more humane way of preventing such cases ocuring in the first place.

reply to post by Serizawa


Then you have been defeated in your heart, but keep your chin up all is not lost.
This whole thread is someone who is concerned about people who he has no connection with other than just associating with them.
I care because i took time to give my input, therefore so do you as you have chimed in.
Don't let the news or word on the street fool you, were not done as a race, we do still care, were just young and dumb, we won't be young forever!

reply to post by woodwardjnr


I'm sorry i got a little bit carried away, Apologies.

I've seen people bring kids into this world and i watch them suffer helplessly. And there isn't a damn thing i can do about it. Once upon a time I cared about everyone and you can tell if you read my previous posts. Read my post where everyone tells me to let go of everyone else because you can never change people.

Originally posted by destination now
reply to post by woodwardjnr

 

As you may be aware, the first few months of a baby's life is a constant round of health visitors, clinic appointments, home visits etc, so if there are any major problems then hopefully the professionals will pick these up. Some problems can be solved with a bit of advice and education, some others, if for example the professionals believe the baby may be at risk, are not so easily resolved and if, in the longer term it looks like these problems may escalate, then that would be the point that the state should step in. Hopefully though these young women will go on to be excellent mothers, and making a few minor mistakes in the beginning should not go against them, after all, parenting is the hardest thing you'll do in your life and the one thing that doesn't come with a set of instructions...

Thanks again for your input in these threads, I was hoping for some more female input , but you have made excellent points in this thread. I would love nothing more for these 2 girls to have their babies, keep them and to have wonderful live's. I think in one of the cases you may actually be right and the birth may help put her on the rights tracks. The other, however, Im not so sure.

I just want to point out I am not advocating the babies are taken into care, just trying to highlight some of the problems that we as a society face. Issues, I had never really given too much thought to.

Firstly well done for volunteering your time to help I have done enough of that in my time within the mental health field in the UK to know their is little you can do but continue to support them.

which is fantastic that you are doing it in the first place..

As for the babies, well I know it is hard, but who knows what type of parent we become when those bundles of joy, pain, worry arrive..

These girls might just be the best mums ever, and having a baby might be the turning point in their lives, it is hard to second guess what is going to happen.

Good luck

I had my son at 22. I was homeless, with an anxiety disorder and depression. I'm not a druggy/alcoholic/criminal or any of those sorts of things, I'm just a "normal", nice lady!

I had a pretty rough upbringing and I drifted from home to home throughout my late teenage/early adult years and I never had any security or family support. From the moment I fell pregnant until the present day, (my son is now 16 months old) I haven't had ANY help or support from anyone, it has just been me and my son against the world and it has been the best thing that ever happened to me!

It's completely changed me as a person for the better, in every way possible . All I ever needed was someone to love, who would love me back unconditionally (ewww, get the sick bucket out....) and I'm now happy, confident, secure, independent, and strong. My son never stops laughing and smiling.

So my point is that sometimes, all these girls need is, like me, someone to love and look after. I'm not saying that all women in these kinds of situations should be having children, ooooh noooo, far from it! But I don't think we should be judging anyone and assuming that the outcome will always be negative.

reply to post by Serizawa


Having kids early on is not always necessarily a bad thing, my wife and i have raised 6 from waaaay too young.
I am early 40's (don't ask for an exact age as i truly am not sure and don't care to try my math :lol
That said our last twins are now 18, and there have been times that i would have loved to leave my wife or worse but we stuck it out and now as i have eluded to earlier, we are stronger than ever, hard times can temper even the softest of fools.
That said after many years we have come to realize that we are eachothers true cellmates errr soulmates.

reply to post by KatieVA


I just wanted to say thanks for sharing a part of yourself with us
and I am so glad all is going well for you and your bundle of joy

Originally posted by thoughtsfull
reply to post by KatieVA

 

I just wanted to say thanks for sharing a part of yourself with us

and I am so glad all is going well for you and your bundle of joy

Awww, thank you! I am truely a very, very lucky lady!

to be honest...

here in germany (and from what i see around the world) i have the feeling that only mentally ill persons
making alot kids nowadays :/

so nothing new..

reply to post by woodwardjnr


I feel it is normal for women to want to have babies. It comes very naturally to them because it IS natural. Sex is natural and having babies is natural.

However with that said it is an unfortunate thing knowing these girls did not grow up in a more educated home and having the opportunities for a good education that you seemed to have had.

Perhaps they would have been able to make mature decisions regarding their future. Should the state pay for them with our hard earned dollars? Yes and let me tell you why.

It takes a village to raise a child. It has, and always will be this way. No woman can take care of a child on their own and nor should they have to.

If your a single working mother, someone else gets to raise/nuture your child, and hopefully they are in good hands. If your not "fortunate" enough to get a job which most women are not then the state tax dollars picks up the rest.

If your upset about the Welfare system thats good because it doesn't work. Lets talk about the social inequalities that perpetuate a system like that and continues to cripple its most unfortunate constituents.

I wish those young girls and their new babies all the luck in these uncertain times, because they are gonna need it now more then ever.

All you can do is try to be a good friend and set a good example in hopes they might learn something from you, and perhaps you may learn a thing or two a long the way.

That state will not make anything better for the children. Best to let them try and raise the kids and not intervene unless there is an actual problem

reply to post by woodwardjnr


Obvious thing is have a baby..

oO

reply to post by iLoGiCViZiOnS


It takes a village to raise a child. It has, and always will be this way. No woman can take care of a child on their own and nor should they have to.

I agree with this statement wholeheartedly.

Originally posted by woodwardjnr
reply to post by iLoGiCViZiOnS

 

It takes a village to raise a child. It has, and always will be this way. No woman can take care of a child on their own and nor should they have to.

I agree with this statement wholeheartedly.

I must be an exception to the rule then, because I have raised my son on my own without any help from anyone.

reply to post by woodwardjnr


Sad but it sounds like these young women thing these babies will replace the family they dont have in their life. I have seen this happen with young parents, they think a baby is a band aid and will make things better. They dont think of what it takes to raise a kid and if you have constant mental issues and no real home to go to or job then you cant take care of a child. These are the kind of people that piss me off in society.


As someone who can't have kids this bothers me because if they keep the child I dont think it will have a normal life if the parent can't take care of themself. If they can't take care of themself then they shouldn't have kids! Let someone else take the child and raise it properly. I just dont see how these women could raise a child if they has the issues you state and esp if they cant take care of themself.

Originally posted by KatieVA

Originally posted by woodwardjnr
reply to post by iLoGiCViZiOnS

 

It takes a village to raise a child. It has, and always will be this way. No woman can take care of a child on their own and nor should they have to.

I agree with this statement wholeheartedly.

I must be an exception to the rule then, because I have raised my son on my own without any help from anyone.

And for that I commend you, but do you not think it could have been easier with the help of others? Your child is the countries future so society should want to encourage and help with your childs future development.

My thought on this would be that you would call in social services If you do believe these women do have some mental issues; they should be evaluated to see if they are fit to be a parent.

you never know what kind of life these kids could have. Maybe they will rise to the occasion and pull themselves out of what ever they are in to provide for their child. Maybe you could recommend them to some kind of social program (No idea what kind of programs are avail where you live) that can assist them until they are fit to stand on their own. Its a bit taboo (At least in my mind anyway) to tell someone how they should live their lives, but sometimes a helping hand is what people need for their safety, and the safety of the child in this situation. There are people out there who could help, just have to point them in the right direction.