What My Gay Friend Has Told Me About His View on Homosexuality

Originally posted by StlSteve

Originally posted by Advantage

Originally posted by StlSteve
reply to post by Advantage

 

1) Is there correct terminology?

2) Do you really give rats arse if there was?

Well.. when someone posts a thread to evoke a response from other posters concerning a conversation supposedly spoken by an older gay man who is obviously witin the gay community, uses terms and tries to provide an incorrect description of the term.. yeah, I give a rats ass. Thats why I call BS on this thread and this imaginary conversation.


Your a homophobe! I didn't get it till just now. I'm just so excited. Tell me, what got you interested in gay men?

If this is n any way true, the guy has a hell of a lot more wrong with him than having the dreaded gay.

Now where is that imaginary friend thread..

Aways a silly response from you in most threads.

Besides I live in the metro area. This area is full of hard core homophobes. DO you cruise Euclid in the CWE and shout FAGGOT out of your window??

Wow, I shared a gay man's negative experience in the gay world with this forum. Take it or leave it. I'm done with this thread. I did not express my opinion.

reply to post by Advantage


Gay people always say their related/know some one important, whats the catch?

Originally posted by StlSteve
reply to post by Advantage

 

Gay people always say their related/know some one important, whats the catch?

Im not gay.. and he isnt all that famous. Only the starry eyed sheeple believe that anyone on a TV screen is someone special. Do you worship people who have appeared on Sesame street Steve? I dont.

Better yet, accuse me of being gay and say stupid crap to me in U2U.. I need to move on to other topics and then go watch a movie with the fam.

reply to post by hardamber


I don't doubt what you are saying, but.......what you may be implying may be called a gross generalization. I am sure there are others that can relate to the regrets of his hedonistic lifestyle but my hetero grandfather says the same thing. He had a beautiful wife and kids, loved them, and they loved him. But, when he was younger he was very promiscuous and "loved" women. He claims they rarely told him no. I have seen pictures of him in the 60s in LA and San Diego on the beach with women and not the hippy-love-everybody-women of Haight-Ashbury but what is commonly looked at to be hot looking models from the 60s. You know what now? He is 82, alone, heterosexual and he sounds like your friend. I think if your friend didn't want to be promiscuous his wife may have stayed with him. Just a hunch. I waited until I was 37 to marry. I stil have urges but...I love my wife and I want to grow old with her and I will be in y late 50s when my children begin to leave home. I am ok with that. I had my fun. I know the ups downs ins and outs. But I will say this, sometimes a woman or a man will say they are okay with something and they give it a go while you exercise this permission and you know? What what you are experiencing and waht they bearing are are two, very much different things. In his heart of hearts he knows this. You wouldn't have discussed it. But gay, straight, black, white, brown, whatever hell maybe even green or grey these days, love is love and life is life and loss is loss. You have loves and you have regrets. If he has both he is living. When he stops feeling that he is dead.

reply to post by hardamber


Perhaps the ghost of Christmas past (Not sure if spirits have sexual orientation but add or omit as you see fit) will come and along with the ghost of Christmas present and the scary ghost of Christmas future and make him see there is a loving world outside of his house whether he steps out into it or pas de chats his way into it.

Seriously; old grumpy guy filled with regrets.

Does it matter whether he is gay or not?

-m0r

I try to be understanding of straight women. Heaven knows they have enough problems that started at the moment of their birth.

reply to post by Magantice


Wow! Good for you! So they make gross generalizaions on the other side of the rainbow, huh? My wife loves me and I love her and we are happy. Guess what I never leave the tiolet seat up and you know what she has a joke she plays on me on occassion where she raises the seat up for me and says it is so i wouldn't have to. Think about that. At first it threw me off because and I thought DOH. Buit after a couple times I asked and she giggled her sweet little feminine giggle. Let me ask you something do want to stick your nose on our business and try to understand her. THe problem with understanding people is you are not looking at the dynamics of a relationship between two people and seeing just one and one. The two become one. Could you imagine a baby coming out and its left works in perfect coordination with the right? It takes time and compromise and the fact that in a realtionship there is a learning curve keeps it fun and interesting as long as there is respect. It sounds like if your partner wasn't a perfect fit for you, you would be on endless chase. What did you use, E-Harmnony? What do you mean women have enough problems starting at their birth? I have known many women and men who are happy from birth and I happened to be one of them, I believe my wife is as well. So will my children. When people look at my little girl who is peach fuzzed headed little four month old that we have to put bows on and all pink and people still don't get it I don't say I feel sorry for her. In fact when I was little in all blue people would tell my mom I was a beautiful girl because I had curly blond hair my mother didn's say I feel sorry for litlle boys. My daughter is nothing but a catalyst for smiles and laughs and is always happy and rarely crying I don't see any problems in her future struggling for her identity, in fact, she will be well prepared to recognize the strugglers in life and hopefully reach out and share love and respect with them. A Love that begins at home, the sanctuary away from a world, where pessimism and judgemental minds seem to prevail. I said seem.

I have a relative in Germany whose just over 90.
She says that every day she wishes she was dead.
Her grandchildren and child are living in other countries, and she is no longer supposed to fly.
Her husband died in the 1990s, and her friends have either passed away, or are in old age homes.
Her vision and hearing are almost gone, and reading, watching TV or speaking on the phone are becoming impossible.
But yet she insists on her independence.
Sad to think that's what you get after surviving a World War.
So while I appreciate what your gay friend is saying, loneliness and ill-health can overcome as all at some stage.
Perhaps realizing this can help him out of his victim mode?

HIV and it's stigmas can be a terrible blow to a community.
Here it is not at all only a gay experience.
Philandering, abusive husbands are found everywhere, and even many people with children can find themselves abandoned by them.
I think he's focusing on a heterosexual ideal rather than reality?
Here one even hears of elderly people who are chained or locked up by their kids for the pension money.
I'm glad your friend at least has support groups and resources.
There is more than one gay scene, and frankly, I've also lost my taste for the urban club culture.

I sometimes really wonder what people expect from sex other than a bit of fun - fireworks and the hallelujah chorus?

reply to post by halfoldman


Thank you! That was helpful advice. I will remember that next time we talk. My two sons moved out less than a year ago and I started to feel lonely and abandoned. I just had to keep myself busy doing other stuff and reaching out to old friends that I didn't have time for in the past.

I have told him he is in a bad place because he is so lonely. He needs to be touched and hugged at the very least. He is a problem in his support groups and has had to be warned about his comments. My family and I went out east to visit him last summer. I wish he didn't live so far away. It was a fourteen hour drive just one way. Now he is getting pounded with record amounts of snow. I go through my own frustration because he no longer has gay friends who care about him and keep him company.

--MOD NOTE--

Please try to be civil with this conversation.

There's no reason to start throwing around generelizations on a whole group of people. These topics are difficult enough to discuss as it is, without rudeness or off topic remarks.

The playground is only enjoyable so long as everybody is playing fair .

Thank You

~Keeper - Forum Mod

reply to post by sirjunlegun


It sounds like you are a fortunate man to have a beautiful family. The purpose for my post was my way of showing that there are different views to sexuality. The thing straight people dont seem to get is that a homosexual is WHO YOU ARE not WHAT YOU DO. It may suprise you to know that many homosexuals are celibate for religious reasons. I love my straight sisters with all my heart and soul and I don't really feel sorry for any of them. I was simply poseing a different view. I wish you every happiness in life. Peace.

reply to post by Magantice


Thank You Magantice. I wish you and your loved ones the best. Sir Jun le Gun

reply to post by hardamber


A good argument for how homosexuality is not a viable and sustainable option for the human race.

You can't beat a nice loyal wife to bear you children and make a home for you.

reply to post by hardamber


well if your friend said so, then i guess it must be true....

This is a quote from something I posted back in May of 2010 about my friend. Proof that I did not make up an imaginary friend.
www.abovetopsecret.com...

"A close friend of mine was diagnosed hiv positive in the 80's. He was on a cocktail that made him very sick. He had to stop taking it. He gets tested every year and he is not showing signs of the virus in his blood. He is now in a study in Boston for people who were diagnosed over 20 years ago and are a-symtomatic. He is 62 years old now and sadly has a couple other things wrong with him that are not related to hiv. He now hates the gay community with a passion. Not because of the aids, but because they abandonded him at the first signs of not being a beautiful, healthy or wealthy person. He says there really is an ugly side to that community. "

Edit to add: The term "Fag Hag" was what he gave to the wives of gay men. Take into consideration his age. That is what his generation called them. I only repeated what he said, I'm no expert on pop culture.

Look, do yourself a favor and do not let this man into your life. Seriously, you cannot save someone from their everyday dramas and miserable existence. You can place him into a comfortable box and give him everything he desires and he will still find a way to be miserable because he is a miserable person!

He likely did hang out with snobs and the like and when he was no longer "like them" he was discarded because that is what shallow people do. It has nothing to do with Community, because likely there really is no Community outside of the cocktails and pissy banter.

So he has AIDS and he is asymptomatic, wouldn't this be cause to celebrate life? This man has lost the ability to celebrate in his life and if you bring him in you will hate him! Either that or you are so much like him that "Misery truly does Love Company".

I am 23 years with my partner and although we are both HIV Negative we have watched all of our friends die as the years slowly passed by; we rejoice that we remember them and we celebrate our life, while we are alive, for them; if one of us should pass we will continue enjoying this incredible world of ours in spite of the loss. We live vicariously for those we Loved and Lost. If we slipped into misery who would want to be there? Maybe another miserable person I guess. No thank you!

Save yourself and get this man out of your life, reject him if you have to but be honest that if he can begin to shine then you will be there to receive him in kind! Old Queen needs to get over himself, talking like he could have had a wife and then he would have been happy! How very sad this person is, and anyone who is near him probably can take it just about this long, and then he is on his own in his miserable ways once again. Poor, poor pitiful soul, he loves it more than you will ever know!

reply to post by Greensage


I can't abandon him. I am very fond of him. He is the only person on this planet I trust with my darkest secrets. He does not judge me. Sometimes, I think I make a difference in his life even if it is long distance. I have enough joy in my life that he doesn't bring me down, other than how much I worry about him being alone.

You did sum his life up pretty accurately. I think the nerve damage in his back and the atrophying of his legs has a lot to do with his bitterness. I do think some of the observations he has made are real but not talked about openly. He does spend a LOT of time talking about it all. I just listen and hope that it is theraputic for him. I have learned more about his world than I ever wanted to.