What My Gay Friend Has Told Me About His View on Homosexuality

My friend is a life long resident of the Boston area, except for his four year enlistment in the Navy in the late 60's and early 70's. He is college educated and HIV positive. He was diagnosed in the mid 80's. When he was diagnosed he learned how cruel the world of gay men really is. They treated him like a lepor. He said you have to be either rich or beautiful to really enjoy that lifestyle for any length of time. Most of the gay men he knew who had "life partners" were anything but monogomous. They have agreements with each other that they can screw whoever they want to, as long as they stay with each other. He said it was no surprise for gay men to have as many as three partners a day.

He told me how some of them are married and have arrangements with their wives to let them off the chain one night a week. They refer to them as "fag hags." He had that kind of an arrangement with his wife. The reason why they divorced was because of money. She wanted to be married to a more affluent man. They were very good friends and remained that way until her new husband asked her to end it.

Now my friend is in his early 60's and has many health problems. He is a very bitter man. He calls me a couple times a month and we talk for hours at a time. He has outlived all of his immediate family and the two close friends he had are dead too. He spends the holidays alone. He is afraid to be in his apartment so he rides the subway into the city a couple times a week and is involved with a couple of support groups at my urging. I can't get him to move here and be with our family. I hate seeing him alone and bitter. He is limited in his choices of health services in my area. Boston has good services for AIDS and HIV.

He regrets not having children and wishes he had a wife. I find that somewhat odd. He has spent a lot of time looking back over his life and that is his big regret. Losing the companionship of the woman he loved. He said the sex with men was not worth it. The sex was empty and meaningless. He could have a full and busy life with his own immediate family, but instead he is miserably lonely.

There are so many posts bashing any opposition to the gay world, I just thought I would share his view. I have tamed down what he really says about it all. There is a lot I did not mention.

And your point is?

Sounds like you had a conversation with your imagination, not a "gay mate"

Actually "fag hags" are women who hang out with "fags" and "beards" are women who marry homosexual men.

Originally posted by zazzafrazz
Sounds like you had a conversation with your imagination, not a "gay mate"

Thats what I thought when I read it. Hell,Im not gay and I know the correct terminology.

Originally posted by hardamber He said you have to be either rich or beautiful to really enjoy that lifestyle for any length of time. Most of the gay men he knew who had "life partners" were anything but monogomous. They have agreements with each other that they can screw whoever they want to, as long as they stay with each other. He said it was no surprise for gay men to have as many as three partners a day.

Hmm... Well, I imagine that there are some people like that ( no matter the sexual orientation) but to me this is trying to imply that all gay people are like that.... Is that what you, or rather HE, was trying to imply? Because I am friends with a gay man and he does not live such a life. I have known many gay people through out my life and none have lived such a life....

So are you saying that he was aware that some gay men did this, or are you saying that he claimed ALL gay men did this? Because if so, I would have to disagree strongly. Because as I said, no gay person I have ever met, fits that....

Most of the gay men he knew who had "life partners" were anything but monogomous. They have agreements with each other that they can screw whoever they want to, as long as they stay with each other. He said it was no surprise for gay men to have as many as three partners a day.

Obviously that's because they're gay and not the persons choice, just as it is for a heterosexual person who wants to have sex with multiple partners...

He said the sex with men was not worth it.

Lolwut? Are you sure he was gay then...? What's that even mean.

Losing the companionship of the woman he loved

So he's bisexual...?

There are so many posts bashing any opposition to the gay world, I just thought I would share his view.

And for good reason, this thread was about how cruel and 'empty' being gay was.

I don't even understand the point you're trying to make.

Riiight one gay persons opinion is the opinion of the whole group.... The point of this thread is?

your friend sounds jaded and bitter... kinda pissed off at the wold and lay blame, and not take responsability for his mistakes...its his opinion not that of many, sounds like he is not only lonlr but miserable too.

reply to post by Advantage


1) Is there correct terminology?

2) Do you really give rats arse if there was?

Originally posted by StlSteve
reply to post by Advantage

 

1) Is there correct terminology?

2) Do you really give rats arse if there was?

Well.. when someone posts a thread to evoke a response from other posters concerning a conversation supposedly spoken by an older gay man who is obviously witin the gay community, uses terms and tries to provide an incorrect description of the term.. yeah, I give a rats ass. Thats why I call BS on this thread and this imaginary conversation.

If this is n any way true, the guy has a hell of a lot more wrong with him than having the dreaded gay.

Now where is that imaginary friend thread..

This was a simple post about a lonely bitter gay man who is HIV positive. His experience of that lifestyle was not one of love, it was one of sex. LOTS of sex. He is down to four friends now. None of them are gay. They split when he got sick. My total experience with gay people includes a close friend who died of AIDS. My husband's cousin who died of AIDS. My uncle who died of AIDS. My uncle died with only his family around him. I have a cousin who is currently gay and seems happpy. I don't see him much, but he has always been great to talk to.

If you people have a problem with what I said, I don't know what to tell you. It just isn't always a happy lifestyle and it's not straight people's fault. There is a lot of meanness inside that community and that has a lot to do with my friend's bitterness. I sense a lot of meanness in the responses I have gotten. No wonder why I hate posting on this forum.

The term "fag hag" came from him. I had not heard that before. I agree my friend has issues. I just wish I could get him to move here so he won't be so lonely. I have ran out of advice to give him and mostly listen now.

Originally posted by hardamber
This was a simple post about a lonely bitter gay man who is HIV positive. His experience of that lifestyle was not one of love, it was one of sex. LOTS of sex. He is down to four friends now. None of them are gay. They split when he got sick. My total experience with gay people includes a close friend who died of AIDS. My husband's cousin who died of AIDS. My uncle who died of AIDS. My uncle died with only his family around him. I have a cousin who is currently gay and seems happpy. I don't see him much, but he has always been great to talk to.

If you people have a problem with what I said, I don't know what to tell you. It just isn't always a happy lifestyle and it's not straight people's fault. There is a lot of meanness inside that community and that has a lot to do with my friend's bitterness. I sense a lot of meanness in the responses I have gotten. No wonder why I hate posting on this forum.

Heterosexuals can suffer the same. LOTS of sex rather than love, STDs. AIDS, unfulfilled lives, death.. and guess what? Its absolutely NO different just because the partners happen to be of the same sex for homosexuals. They have one more count against them though.. hatred and misconceptions surrounding them.

reply to post by hardamber


My sisters were born with blonde hair, blue eyes and straight. I don't hold this against them. It's a genetic thing.They didn't choose to be born straight. Even though they have the right to marry, I feel sorry for them because straight marriage seldom works out. I realize that God loves all his children and Im happy about that.
I wish they had been born lucky like me. I have a partner who is faithful, loves me unconditionally, cooks, cleans, shops, does laundry, pampers me, encourages my creative side, crys over sad movies with me, and she has NEVER left the toilet seat up.

I try to be understanding of straight women. Heaven knows they have enough problems that started at the moment of their birth.

reply to post by hardamber


What ?!

Your OP is telling us of a personal story between you and a friend.

I fail to see why sexuality is relevant to your story.

Originally posted by Advantage

Originally posted by StlSteve
reply to post by Advantage

 

1) Is there correct terminology?

2) Do you really give rats arse if there was?

Well.. when someone posts a thread to evoke a response from other posters concerning a conversation supposedly spoken by an older gay man who is obviously witin the gay community, uses terms and tries to provide an incorrect description of the term.. yeah, I give a rats ass. Thats why I call BS on this thread and this imaginary conversation.


Your a homophobe! I didn't get it till just now. I'm just so excited. Tell me, what got you interested in gay men?

If this is n any way true, the guy has a hell of a lot more wrong with him than having the dreaded gay.

Now where is that imaginary friend thread..

Originally posted by Magantice
and she has NEVER left the toilet seat up.

One more late night cold water dunk and Im planning on drinking a bunch of juice boxes and going gay..

Seriously though, have you noticed a trend with these kinds of threads? Im old and over the yrs of having gay friends, co-workers and family members I honestly can not say we've ever had deep conversations concerning homosexual sex or all of this weird crap I see others speak of here. Its really just been normal conversations and griping about mundane every day junk.

Im related by marriage to a sort of famous guy who was gay and happened to have died of aids. How his immediate family treated him should demand a sentence in hell. You dont destroy someones heart because you disagree with their choices or how they were born. You love them. I will never iunderstadn this. Im a christian and I am NOT allowing myself to be caught up in the judgmental BS.. God can judge, thats his job. The whole God hates fags things is radical when Westboro screams it but its okay for other xtians to do the same?? Freaking hypocritical..