Rules of dating?

I agree, whomever asks pays.. but later in a relationship it does change. WIth my husband I just picked up what I wanted as did he.. never any issues that I recall. We were both employed and making quite a bit of money though. I guess if a man is dating a woman with no income or low income.. and he wishes to date her.. he really should pay.

One thing I always had an issue with was : ordering food for me without my input.

True story: I got asked out by an atty in St Louis.. biggest defense atty around... He was a control freak and had a lot of money which caused some to allow him to be a control freak. This was years ago, but I dont think he had ever met anyone like me yet. We go to a very high end restaurant.. and I felt like a complete geek of course. He was trying to impress me .. which me ego enjoys, so I went along with it Anyway... Im starving.. as in stomach rumbling and Im ready to gnaw his arm off. Beautiful place.. until that time Id never quite seen a place like it. It had a vibe I was not familiar with.. and that I cant say I particularly liked! The food was basically a squiggle on a plate with Dom Perignon on the side. Appetizer he chose was fine,but he ordered some sort of dish Id never heard the name of FOR me. Most of the menu was in French.. he didnt speak French so I guess he had been there quite a bit. I figured, this isnt my kinda place.. so I will go with it and see what happens. Id never had someone be so bold as to order my food for me without my input until then.

Now, I dont care who you are, how good looking you are, how much money you have... Im NOT eating bugs for anyone regardless of the sauce they are smothered in or how much Dom you fill me up with. Yep.. escargot. Gross.. Im NOT Bear Grylls, the zombie apocalypse has not happened which would force me to eat bugs/drink urine, and I dont care how much it cost. Dessert was much better... I chose it myself.

So I didnt eat it and teased him relentlessly for the months we dated concerning feeding me bugs on our first date and it could only get better from there. It didnt get much better from there. You can tell SOOOO much about a person on a first date if you pay attention. Lesson learned. He is still a friend of the family.. and still looks at me kinda funny.

Moral to this story: If you date a pretentious ass who decides what you put in your body and gets huffy when you tell his friends he fed you bugs to impress you ... dump him. I did. I also dont think he had ever experienced getting dumped for being an annoying control freak up until that time either!

Im older and Ive found the dating holy grail.. BE YOURSELF even on a first date. Dont waste your time being someone you arent or putting up with things you dont expect to become a habit.. they will. If you are yourself and not on some mad hunt to lure someone in at any cost.. you can be happy. Trust me, if you arent hung up in a dead end relationship and just dump folks when you see its not viable.. you will be availbale when someone just as much of a nut as you are falls in your lap.

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


No expectations. No disapointments. I too find myself paying for everything. Its a choice......

Yeah, I like to pay for myself.

But some men are just so damn stubborn!