Rules of dating?

Ive noticed alot of my girlfriends I talk to have rules of dating. Some woman think the man should pay for everything, some think only half, and others would rather pay for it all.

So my question is, when it comes to going on a date, do you think its the man who should pay for all of it? Or should it be 50/50?

And what is your rule of dating?

Ive always preferred to pay for everything. I dont know where it stems from, I guess im very independent and try to take the mans role in the relationship

reply to post by Jess_Undefined


Whoever pulls the wallet out first I say. One night you pay, the next night he pays. Keep it mutual, or else someone will be carrying all the weight.

Best thing is not too bother dating or what have you. Need no answers than do you.

Thats my answer.

Rule:

Man pays, woman reaches for purse. If woman does not, the first date was a fail.

So if you didn't like your date, smile at him when he goes to pay. Quite the "hint".

Rule #1 .
be honest...
Rule #2 .
dont lie to me...
rule #3 .
Dont try to change me ...
Rule #4 .
be honest ...

Maybe thats why I havent been on a date in ten years ....
anyway as far as the check goes, I would Insist to pay if I asked for the date, and offer to pay if I accepted an invitation..
Splitting checks on dates always seemed to make me feel a little petty and coming across as cheap on the first date seems like a bad way to start it off.

~meathead

Originally posted by Mike Stivic


Maybe thats why I havent been on a date in ten years ....
anyway as far as the check goes, I would Insist to pay if I asked for the date, and offer to pay if I accepted an invitation..
Splitting checks on dates always seemed to make me feel a little petty and coming across as cheap on the first date seems like a bad way to start it off.

~meathead

Exactly my sentiments. This is how I've always done things. Nobody told me, it just feels right. The splitting checks thing, like Mike says not only seems petty and cheap... it is.

...i agree with meathead --- if you ask someone out, you pay (rule #1)...

...but i dont agree with meathead --- that if you accept an invitation, you offer to pay - because - that just confuses rule #1...

...besides, people that offer to pay but dont really mean it or cant are dishonest and they should just shut-up and be an appreciative but remorseless freeloader (which is my standard operating mode)...

...of course all that changes if the relationship has some age on it or if you're both poor... then its perfectly fine to say how much money we can scratch up so we can go do "whatever"...

Whoever extended the invitation should expect to pay. Simple as that.

Rule 1: if you are the guy then your supposed to pay, it may not seem fair but there it is

Rule2: Do NOT talk about your ex partners on a date

Rule3: Try your hardest to not appear crazy

Rule4: If you are a girl DO NOT take any notice of the garbage written in "the rules" I know a few girls that have followed this nonsense and it has never ever worked

Rule5: Don't get drunk and cry

Originally posted by davespanners
Rule5: Don't get drunk and cry

So THAT'S where I've been going wrong!

:shk:

Pay?

Pay?

Who the hell pays...I just say "race you to the door" and it's all taken care of....



only problem is that you can't ever go back there....unless you are good at disguises

I agree, whoever extends the invitation ought to pay. If I invite someone to dinner, then I expect to pick up the check. I wouldn't ask someone over to my house for dinner and expect them to cook it.

Beyond that, be yourself. Failure to do that will only cause issues down the road, if there is a down the road. I'm not saying it's wrong to be on your best behavior, that's just respectful and nothing wrong with it IMO. But it's still YOUR behavior.

There's a lot of talk about girls don't like nice guys and you have to be a bit of a jerk/bad boy whatever. Bah, says I. Who wants to expend that kind of energy over the long haul? Let the girls who want the bad boys (i.e. jerks) have them, that way it clears the field for everyone else.

Bear in mind. I've been married for over 20 years, so dating is a distant memory. But that was always my rule. I'll be who I'm comfortable being. If that ain't a fit, then there you go. Go.

I do not have any rules of dating except for.....

*Be respectful (and this covers a lot of terroritory for men and women. IE. dont spend time on the phone, dont talk about exs, dont be eyeing up every chic/guy that walks by....and so on)
*Be honest (same as above...)
*Have a sense of humour regardless of what happens (spill wine all over me or vice versa...laugh it up)
*Dont get drunk on first date....how tacky
*If you are not interested...do not just disappear and ignore the person...man up (or woman up) and tell the person you are not interested. Just rude and total coward.


As far as paying goes...I have no issue paying on a date...I tend to offer even if he insists on paying. But I do kind of think that "whoever invites, pays"...just common courtesy - not necessarily just a dating rule. Even when I go out with a girlfriend...if I invite her, I will always offer to pay!

And a corollary

Originally posted by greeneyedleo
*Dont get drunk on first date....how tacky

Things happen, what with nerves being what they are. If you do happen to find yourself in this predicament, don't hurl in your date's car.

Oh yeah, had that happen. That was pretty much the end of that. Her from embarrassment and me from... having to clean the upholstery and carpet.

Originally posted by Jess_Undefined
So my question is, when it comes to going on a date, do you think its the man who should pay for all of it? Or should it be 50/50?

Well, when I dated, I only went out on a date with a woman I wanted to go out on a date with, thus I always paid. I could never imagine making a woman pay for anything on a date. Maybe that's old-fashioned.

Even if she was a complete you know what, I'd pay whatever I had to to get out of the date as soon as possible.

Peace

Originally posted by Dr Love
I always paid.

So did you get the fee schedule before they got in the car, or negotiate later?

reply to post by yeahright


You're like the modern-day Jerry Lewis....



Peace

Whoever asked the other out for the date is expected to pay...simple.

If they guy asked, he pays.
If the girl asked, she does (though he'd be wise to try and offer to, at least once)...

This really goes for dinner out in general even amongst friends or family...unless a group of people are meeting for dinner and know going into it that it's dutch (assumed in large groups)...and then each person/couple pays for their own (unless one has stepped up to get the whole bill)...

Exceptions could be if one or the other is loaded while the other is strapped, but that's really a bit outside the rules of etiquette and more about the individual relationships...so on a case-by-case.

Other dating rules.

1) She orders what she wants (don't insist on limits...that's set by choosing WHERE to go)

2) Don't talk about ex's (bad..bad...bad) - if she brings it up, quick answers only, and change the subject

3) Don't talk about kids/marriage etc. (creepy)

4) Religion and Politics (avoid like the plague...do you want a date, or a debate?)

5) LISTEN

6) Don't text. I don't know what this modern obsession is with talking to someone electronically, when someone is IN YOUR PRESENCE instead, but it's just plain rude (whether on a date or otherwise). People in person come FIRST folks....

7) Don't eat like a horse...table manners, table manners.

8) Ask questions (shows you're listening, interested, and gets you answers)

9) Discuss interests (sets up future date possibilities)...

10) Unless she LIKES geekiness or weirdness, DON'T tell her about interests like Sci-Fi, Comics, Video Games, Aliens, Conspiracies, Gaming, RPGs, etc.

As a man i always pay.however i also will go through her purse in the morning when i get up and take whatever cash she has before i leave.

reply to post by Kayzar


Take it there aren't many SECOND dates?