False Masculinity: Tragic Conspiracy Against Our Males

As anyone here familiar with my posts knows, I am a strong proponent of encouraging discussion on and raising awareness of female issues. On this last day of the year, 2010, I decided to spend my morning watching a speech by Jean Kilbourne, discussing the negative portrayal of females in media, and how it affects us all.

I was watching it on youtube, and in the suggestions sidebar, was another mini series, called the Twisted Male Archetype. There is nine parts to this video, and upon watching the series, I realized that what happens to my gender, in the negative aspect of sexual objectification and trivialization, is being programmed into our males, in the form of False Masculinity, and it is an extremely TRAGIC conspiracy against our males.

If you have an extra hour or so today, why not take a look at this series of commentary, and share your thoughts on this. You can watch the series at the following link, when the video ends, press the play next button. There are nine parts, each one worth watching, and then discussing.

wn.com...

In part 2, the video comments on the changing look of our superheros, from the original portrayls of Batman by Adam West to Modern Batman, from the original Star Wars figurines, compared to the new versions. To see them juxtaposed against one another gives one pause for thought.

The video raises the concern that men are being programmed from birth with a False Masculinity, that is, being told that to be male is to be strong, tough, and often times, violent. (Rambo, anyone?)

The way women are programmed is by attacking their most vulnerable attribute, their sexuality. The way men are programmed is by attacking their most vulnerable attribute, their manhood, their masculinity, what it means to be a REAL man.

I have spent a lot of time believing that women face more or harsher consequences than men in dealing with this grotesque gender assault. But now I believe both men and women are under attack, and being programmed to behave within the parameters that someone (who??) has set out for us. It is wrong, and it is harmful.

I hope you enjoy this thought provoking series, and will share your thoughts on it. I would love to hear from the men, and if any of this series resonates with them.

I wanted to edit this OP to ask:

What in your opinion, IS a Real Man?

Particularly disturbing, and in itself, a microcosm of the gist of the series itself, is Howard Sterns comments on the Colombine shooting, in which he laments the killers poor choice to off themselves without at least raping some of the good looking girls first. The link between sex and violence is summed up with his words, which millions of young men heard as the listened to his show his day. That this passes as viable humor is very disturbing, on more than one level.

I have some time, so I will check it out.
Thanks.
I have always like the subject matter of this topic. I have always been one to kind of be "outside myself" observing how the "male" interacts with others and why. It is really interesting to come to the conclusion that it is hard work to be yourself.

I think the premise is true and that certainly both stereotypes feed off of each other.

I think that, to some degree, society is fixated on these shallow images because in our modern culture we don't have as many life and death issues to focus on and we have no common denominator to connect us. We're all just pomp and circumstance, superficial stereotypes and personal brands with not much purpose or need to strive and survive like our ancestors - so, in general, we concern ourselves with the more marketable and preening attributes of our character.

If life was harder, we would concern ourselves with deeper issues and revere more virtuous and enduring attributes.

My husband is the kind of man who never complains, always gets the job done and always puts his family's needs first. He makes no excuses, you can set your clock by him he is so dependable and if you need a hand - he's your guy. In my eyes there is no one sexier or more masculine but, alas, it's not what Hollywood is looking for in terms of a super-hero and it's not what younger people aspire to.

Originally posted by hotbakedtater
I wanted to edit this OP to ask:

What in your opinion, IS a Real Man?

Okay first you have to seriously consider this. Are you talking about western/european men or all men? Because there's another thread about mankind, but I'm not sure whether it is really about the entire humanity or just about western culture. And even in western culture there's another "subculture", like christianity for instance, they're all behave in different manners.

Originally posted by Jazzyguy

Originally posted by hotbakedtater
I wanted to edit this OP to ask:

What in your opinion, IS a Real Man?

Okay first you have to seriously consider this. Are you talking about western/european men or all men? Because there's another thread about mankind, but I'm not sure whether it is really about the entire humanity or just about western culture. And even in western culture there's another "subculture", like christianity for instance, they're all behave in different manners.

I would say in relation to the series, which focuses primarily on the Americanized version of what defines masculinity, and how it influences our perception of what is a real man, and what is masculinity.

Sorry, I could only handle the first video, explaining why Society has this "dysfunction" upon our genders has been going on as long as Men have been in power.

If we look to Nature we realize that the Matriarchal model is the norm. Mankind has dominated women and it is to their liking. They love the hot macho man and they love the rugged outside; because they know they have the ability to touch the sweeter side of the Ape within and that is their quest.

As for the Gays, the Fags, the Wusses, we enjoy the company of women but they prefer not to tell their masculine boyfriends! (my sarcasm) We may appear contemptuous to men in that we have about as much respect for them as we do any other creature; we just don't play "bully" well, nor do we accept it. Women accept this behavior far more and even excuse it; there is no excuse.

Ultimately it is the Media that perpetuates the madness within the Family Structure. It is within this framework that true nurturing occurs that enables a male to encompass the femininity within. We are all female during the earliest part of our conception, testosterone works on both sexes in increasing the aggressiveness of the Species as well as muscle mass but it is the mindset of the masses that aggravates the balance.

Perhaps women might one day wake up, I know I have noticed this problem since the beginning so I chose a sweetheart as a partner and I choose heartfelt people as my friends. Machismo is Stupid and it should be castrated from us all, but only women can make that happen! Odd that they should be the ones that have endeared themselves to this imbalance and look upon men as Animals as they are coping with this most fatal attraction.

Time to understand that the Matriarch is missing from this picture. Honor thy Mother and thy Father, be it God and Earth, be it through our expressions of both Masculinity and Femininity, the Ying and the Yang, the Top and the Bottom. Men just need to open to the possibility that their Gender does not equate loyalty or respect by virtue of a descended testicle. It is the heart that motions to others that honor is deserved.

i always find your posts on the femal subdication.
i read many books on sexism and the abuse women suffer one of my favorite documentaries is killing us softly by Jean Kilbourne.
but the so called role of men is also very interesting to me.
ho babies from the minute they are born are charactorized, girls in pink and boys in blue and how this colour coding affects how the child is treated by admiring adults.

i also think that men can be treated with prejudice just because there gender.
i wonder why society has pigeon holed everyone into their catagories and subcatagories, i e sex race religion.

why can a man not be a nurturer and a woman be a hunter.
many men are better parents than some women and some women are better builders than men.
each person has an individual aspect that they excel at and sex does not determine it.

bad link, edited out

I've noticed that there are two different male stereotypes, the independent macho tough guy and the inept imbecile that needs his better half to take control. The first being the "hero" and the second being the "family type". Like any stereotype, neither characterization is real of course. Compare Ward Cleaver and John Wayne with the Family Guy and Rambo.

It appears that our overall image, at least according to the media we willingly consume, of what a man is, has changed from the fifties to present time. Some of examples of this, in pictures.

Original Superman.



New and ?Improved? Superman.



Original Batman.



New and ?Improved? Batman.



And, an American Toy Icon, one which the vast majority of our little boys in my country have owned, had purchased for them by loving relatives, and played with,

Original GI Joe.



And....

New and ?Improved? GI Joe.

Originally posted by MichiganSwampBuck
I've noticed that there are two different male stereotypes, the independent macho tough guy and the inept imbecile that needs his better half to take control. The first being the "hero" and the second being the "family type". Like any stereotype, neither characterization is real of course. Compare Ward Cleaver and John Wayne with the Family Guy and Rambo.

I call this second portrayal the dumb dad syndrome. Sometimes it is a dumb husband.

Here is an article with a top ten dumb dad/man commercial list:

www.askmen.com...

We are not the only ones to notice.

Adding:

Here is a blog which is collecting these anti male commercials in one place:

findersonline.wordpress.com...

Hey Tater.
Well, where to begin.
Men in the media, in my mind, often come off as the opposite of what your suggesting. Men are often portrayed as some sort of nearly braindead apes that luckily their wives or girlfriends are in a 24/7 cycle of babysitting so we don't end up eating razor blades or collectively get cholera because we have no concept on how to clean.

Women in media are becoming the staplemark "saviors" of mans incredible ineptness..holding mental control over relationships, calling all the shots, etc. I see the opposite.
When its shown that a man takes control of a situation in typical movies, often its because he is some sort of evil primate ready to kill everyone. It is putting a paradox up that only evil men try to be equal or above women in any circumstance..to be a good guy, you must be stupid and take most of your orders from women first and foremost.

There is also a demonization of women with loose morals or weakness on media. Consider...hell, most movies out. I rewatched dawn of the dead last night (remake) and so that is fresh on my mind. The strong and clever woman = alive. The other blonde girl that was a bit of a floozy...dead. The intelligent and sarcastic guy..dead and villianised for simply being smart and humorous. etc etc...the only strong man left alive is a cop, who represents both offical and religious authority. (bow to authority at the end of the day).

This format is used over and over since...well hell, Aliens. The strong men die, the strong women live. The intelligent men are seen as arses, the intelligent women are seen as always correct. It is a slow programming to weaken men into a lesser role to women.

Now then..

I think it may simply be a winning format that sells tickets, however, if I was more conspiracy minded, I would suggest this is a concerted effort not to actually weaken men, but rather to give women the illusion that they hold more power than men so they do not complain too much about the inequality they face in reality.

Yes, there is still some gender inequality. I don't deny that. That to me is the only real issue. equal work should produce equal pay.

I personally am annoyed at feminists whom suggest that female empowerment means becoming a sexless drone in society. I see the feminist movement played a good role in western history awhile back, but as equality was granted, their vision changed from equality, to androgony. This killed off any credibility they have overall.

A Man is a masculine. a female is feminine. Its sorta why the two genders like each other. I don't pick out my attraction towards females based on who is less feminine..I go for girly frilly dress long hair, seductive looking etc. women choose me not because I am spineless and weak willed, but rather because I portray face to face a protective and strong stance that clashes with many other of todays norms.

There is of course a big difference between being a Dominant man, and just being a thug. There is also a difference between being a highly alluring woman, and being a simple slut. The thug and slut is a product of negative promotion of genders through trivial media..showing that if you act into your gender, you are a corruption. Sad really because many youth today are so confused at this programming, they take a negative approach to their true feelings, because that is all they know. They feel their gender, they want to be their gender, but the only route that is mainstream is destruction...still, they take that path, because their biological need outweighs the programming on how you need to be in society to "fit in".

I could ramble on for ages about this. Forcing myself to stop for now and see where this thread goes.
now, go bake me a pie!

At least we now have shower products for Men!:

I've struggled with the macho man thing since I was a kid over 50 years ago. All the guys in my family were macho except me. I was the sissy, the wuss.

I got beat up by guys in grade school. The baddest bully of the bunch would stop by my house tho and we'd have long heart to heart talks about his crappy family. Then, once back in a crowd he'd be the bully again. Once he took off my hat at school, threw it in the urinal and peed on it. I think he secretly liked me.

I grew up having to develop a tough skin. I also learned to look a bully in the eye and not flinch. I could talk my way of anything without ever having to fight. As I grew older, thank God, the physical bullying stopped.

I don't think its that much different now than when I grew up. You could tell the difference between make believe and reality. Today's hyper macho stereotype is somewhat balanced out by the metrosexual. I hate violence filled movies and usually avoid them, but I think they cater to a real and natural instinct that is genetically hard wired within males. I don't buy the notion of brainwashing -- it didn't work on me because I am not wired that way. I have always rejected it.

Of course I am speaking now as a senior citizen. Kids are the front end of the learning curve and will naturally have periods of upset. It is a bigger problem than previously partially because the use of lethal weapons has been made sexy and are readily available; especially the in US.

Originally posted by MichiganSwampBuck
I've noticed that there are two different male stereotypes, the independent macho tough guy and the inept imbecile that needs his better half to take control. The first being the "hero" and the second being the "family type". Like any stereotype, neither characterization is real of course. Compare Ward Cleaver and John Wayne with the Family Guy and Rambo.

The problem is, the independent macho man more often than not is some sort of superhero. aka, not real. In order to act out your nature, you need also powers of magic of some sort, else your not supposed to be that way. It frames a biological representation of ID into a certain detatchment from humanity, or at least common man way. Ironman, Batman, Superman, etc...all were not typical man..aka, not us.

The best we can hope for is expressing ourselves by embracing our arch villian mentality. Same deal for women though...unless they have the word "super" in front of their name, they better not be getting to loose with their morals...

Originally posted by wayno
I also learned to look a bully in the eye and not flinch. I could talk my way of anything without ever having to fight. As I grew older, thank God, the physical bullying stopped.

I guess the justice the world delivers is that, only when you are young does the physical bully have an advantage. As he grows older, suddenly the roles switch and the people whom developed mental strength make their moves. Bullys at a young age are often horrible at negotiating things..their training is threaten for what you want...which doesn't float well in a work environment.

One thing to tell the kids today about dealing with bullys...that chances are likely, you will be the one deciding their fate when you get older. Thank them for giving you true strength while they exert what little advantage they have over you.

now, give me your lunch money or deal with a wedgie!

Good video.
I would only differ with his views on a few specific points, so I will only discuss those points. Keep in mind that I do agree on most of what he characterizes as the problems, but some of his characterizations of people that have been negatively influenced I disagree with.
For instance, a gun doesn't have to be a sign that the masculine male is trying to emulate a strong, narrow-minded character from the movies. There is definitely a problem with youth and guns, but there are a lot of well rounded and sensitive men that are somewhat fond of guns. And the women that can defend themselves.

There has been an escalation of "in your face" masculine interaction, and ever increasing biceps and chests, and this parallels the decreasing waistlines of women to the point of anorexia, and their increasingly perverse sexual expressions as mere sex objects. This is all Hollywood show business...this is what sells, and it IS having a serious negative consequence on our youth, but this is apparently what people want to view. In the documentary it is noted that there are choices for people to view, but they often choose to view the more macho and narrow depictions of both men and women. Why? That can say a lot about who we are, too, not just how "Hollywood" chooses to portray us.
What we suffer from, in my opinion, are our own limitations as a people. We generally would rather view low-brow comedy and violence when we know it is not real, and the kids grow up with perverse ideas about what society is asking from them.
They are "entertainers", perhaps because we simply admire entertainers too much.
Great thread, thanks again for the link.

Glad I've got something good to watch this morning...

reply to post by hotbakedtater


Thanks. S + F for you too. I will take a look at the talk when I get some time. The debate (for men only) as to what makes a man is well overdue.

Back in the day (mid 90s) I was part of a mens group. I can safely say it was a horrid experience that was full of limp wristed bitches (female dogs) who were still heterosexual. Despite this a male discussion on masculinity is well overdue as we have moved from a manual economy to a more white collar way of life.

I do believe in violence if appropriate I do not believe in innappropriate violence however.

The thing about Batman and other superheroes is that they all got a lot darker around the time of the first Starwars film. Starwars was to me the first time the future was not so optimistic. Dysfunction became hit and has been since.

I'm a gay old man so you know where I am coming from. I find those guys who spend all day at the gym in order to artificially bulk up their muscles just short of revolting. The guy who gets his honestly through physical exercise derived from work is hot!

The white guys and the black guys and any other guy who dresses exactly like some punk on a video, such as we saw on the linked video is impossibly un-atractive. They look to me like simpletons, followers who have no thought of their own; no individuality. I like the freaks whose attire reflects who they are -- and sometimes that might be quite outrageous -- or not.

I am absolutely melted away into stupidity by the physically and mentally healthy guy who self confidently and without aires is able to relate with calm, serene kindness, humility and intelligence. There is nothing more sexy. Complete opposite of the "bull in the china shop" variety. Idolization of absurdly exaggerated versions of superheroes is akin to fetishism. People who go there need to examine themselves.