Help needed explaining somthing about me.

reply to post by mydarkpassenger


sorry, again I am not trying to be ambiguous

There is quite simply somthing other than me inside my head.
At times(like now) I am a rational intelligent "normal" person.

at other times this is not the case.

I am trying to find out if this is as simple as bieng ill and requiring treatment or something more. I am open to any and all suggestions but can we take it as read that "crazy" is assumed the most likely reason and look at the alternatives?

Am I possesed by an entity, am I channeling? hell I dont know are aliens manipulating me on behalf of the nwo and the egyptian gods that created the pyramids??????

As I said people on here belive all kinds of bizzare stuff from aliens to god knows what? before I have myself pumped full of chemicals to stop it happening I want more opinions on what the alternatives are.

reply to post by davespanners


Thank you, you have hit the nail on the head, my problem is that If I have an open and skeptical mind then I have to consider all the options. I do not really trust standard medicene as I have seen the way it makes the symptoms fit the cure and has a very "catchall" atitude to anything psyhcological. I have been given various treatments in the past and they never stopped what happens they just stopped me caring weather it did or not.

reply to post by The GUT


Yes I have had involvement with those who practice wicca, I have never directly been involved with it but have done quite a lot of research into it.

the things that happen to me were happening well before I met them and have continued throughout.

My brothers reaction I would like to put down to concern for my feelings. Deep down I belive it was because he experienced somthing that changed his view of the world and could not explain.

Well the really worrying bit about it I guess is "attacking people". So I'm thinking that you definitely going to have to do something about it as soon as you can, if anything for the sake of the people that you love and that love you.

I wonder if it would help if you sat down for a very frank and serious discussion with your family and / or friends about what happens during your blackouts and get their opinions on the issue. They are the ones that are closest to you and could probably give you way better advice then people here

reply to post by davespanners


I have spoken to all those close to me but as I say opinions vary.

Yes on two occasions I attacked people. this scares me deeply.
I am a man by the way fully fit prime of life ect.
On both occasions the person I attacked was conversing directly with it(read alter ego/spirit/entity/ whatever you choose) despite me asking them not to. In the case of the Wiccan he intentionally antagonised it and provoked it to respond despite my objections and those of others. what happpened after is only hearsay as technically I was not there(for whatever reason)

reply to post by thefamiliar

The black-out periods; have you never had any feedback from people around you? Have you not asked, or have they refused to answer? Have you been in war or in other highly stressful situations? Accidents? Have doctors scanned your brain for possible trauma? Mental disorders in family? My advice, for what it’s worth, is to start in the "physical" end of things, PET scans etc. You said doctors found some kind of chemical imbalance, is there a therapy available? Test it. Eliminate one cause after the other. If problems persist after medication you might want to see a psychic/shaman (whatever term you prefer). Be VERY selective if you try this solution. Trust your gut-feeling. I really wish you well.

reply to post by lightandfight


I have spoken to quite a few people about the blackouts, this started when I was young as I cant really remember it not bieng like this.

No obvious reasons for it happening, ie I've never had a "real" traumatic incident that would warrent creating a false reality(somthing I have considered quite a bit)

I had quite a nasty head trauma about 6 years ago but again this had been going on for at least 10 years previous.

I have sought medical help before but as I said whatever they did made no difference which eventually led me to start explore other possibilities

reply to post by thefamiliar


Whe you are in black out, what happens? What do you say and do?

reply to post by lightandfight


I have two different kinds of "blackouts" but actually thats not the best description really.

Sometimes the belief that I have this entity in my head is incredibly strong. when it is like this it takes literally all of strength to contain it. when it like this I think I must be so absorbed in containing it I am unaware of what is happening around me. when it wears off I have been carrying on living my life, talking, working, ect but I have no real memorys of what happened. this can last an hour, a day or sometimes weeks. In the more extreme cases like I mentioned I really dont know. I also have had many hallucinations although some would call them visions I think hallucinations is a better term as it does not imply spirituality. with these I have memorys but not of what really happened?

I'll step outside my realm of knowledge and assert the following, which most probably IS incorrect, yet I feel it may still apply.

There is most likely something in your life that is causing you a great deal of discomfort. There is something that is either depressing you, or causing a general state of unhappiness. Most likely this has gone on for some time, and your mind attempts to cope with it by inventing various scenarios which allow you to shift the focus elsewhere, thereby reducing the stress that you're feeling.
It also may be something that you are immersing yourself in that you think is bringing you enjoyment, and it probably is, yet the overall effect of too much of it is wearing you thin.

Identify your weaknesses - identify your fears. That's a pretty good first step.

reply to post by thefamiliar


OK, if I try an esoteric approach; do you feel that the messages, or hallucinations, you get are positive or negative, do you feel empowered or scared? Is this force, or being, you experience concerned with your well being? Has it identified itself?

reply to post by sykickvision


Thank you,

I have given this a great deal of thought myself, If it where someone else I too would agree that this were I likely possibility. Like most people I have had ups and downs in my life, There have been times when life was good and times when life has been terrible.
I have at times drank alcohol to exess and times when I have not drank for months on end. I have taken drugs and not taken drugs. I have had times when I have had a grat job, owned my own home and been in a happy relationship, and times when I have been quite litterally homeless hungry and alone.
The correlation between the varying states of "happiness" and the frequency and strength of the "episodes" is not there so I would struggle to belive that this is an alterstate created to take away the pain of a stressfull or unhappy time. I wish I could as that would be a nice simple problem with a nice simple answer

Originally posted by thefamiliar
Sometimes the belief that I have this entity in my head is incredibly strong. when it is like this it takes literally all of strength to contain it. (snipped for brevity) I have been carrying on living my life, talking, working, ect but I have no real memorys of what happened. this can last an hour, a day or sometimes weeks. (snipped) I also have had many hallucinations

...go to a neurologist... tell them you arent satisfied with the diagnosis by the other two doctors and that you want tests run to make sure there isnt another reason...

...hopefully you have health insurance, a big fat savings account or you're rich because cost will add up quickly, especially if a cat scan or mri is ordered...

...your descriptions could fit a number of ailments... schizophrenia - schizo affective disorder - early onset alzheimers - brain tumor - lesions on your brain - misdiagnosed damage from your earlier head trauma - as well as depression mixed with alcohol / drug abuse...

Sorry for the "attention getting" comment earlier. Your subsequent posts give us more to go on.

First of all, I would advise you to exercise extreme caution in opening up to strangers, most of whom have no training, experience or education in the kind of problems you are describing. Their advice will range from the sublime to the ridiculous. It will be up to you sort out which is which.

Secondly, it is extaordinarily unusual for a person afflicted with "mental" issues, be they chemical imbalances, trauma, or whatever, to be able to intelectualize about them as you appear to be doing. Most are inhibited from doing so by the conidtion and/or the "treatments" sometimes prescribed for it.

Soooo. I don't have any particular suggestions; other than to say, yay! think about the options, the effects, side-effects and after effects, to the extent you can. Seek and weigh all the information and, yes, do make up your own mind to the extent you can without just being blindly led by any one authority as so many are.

I wish you luck and good fortune in this quest. Be well, and be safe at all times.

reply to post by lightandfight


I'll push credibility to the limit here.

theres no point going any further without going into more detail just to try and prevent people from putting a big tick in the crazy box, like I said I'm about ready to do that myself.

This thing has a name Which I wont give here. Its not a name that shows up anywhere but after a lot of searching has a translation which kind of goes some way to adding credibility to it.

I will call it he because thats what it is.
I will try to describe it in words although it doesent actually speak. this is not easy, I have tried 3 times and failed to convey it in a way that makes sense so I will have to say it very simply

There is right and there is wrong. What is wrong now may not have been wrong 500 years ago and what may be considered "right" now may have been "wrong in the past.

Ie there was a time when hitting children who misbehave was acceptable but saying god did not exist was not acceptable. right and wrong in many cases is a question of perspective.

If you go deeper the issue of perspective gets less and less.

This thing comes from a time or a place where there is no perspective. It claims to be neither good or bad as they are concepts but in fact claims to be the pivot that balances the scales. He comes to me in the form of a man with the head of a lion. I am apparently his keeper because we live in a world where if he was free he would run riot.

I'm mad as a box of frogs aren't I?
I think IJust answered my own question.

reply to post by thefamiliar


So long as you are "managing" in the role of being his "keeper", then no I don't think you are mad as a box of frogs,

It might be different tho when you find the task too difficult, and "he" gets loose. Its gotta be a tough job, no? Definitely not boring.

Greetings -

First and foremost, I'm with Dave here - the propensity to do harm to yourself or others via these 'attacks" are of immediate concern, and render inaction on your part the most irresponsible thing you can do. I urge you to postpone trying to understand what is happening to you, and let the medical experts take a crack at it from an objective POV.

I agree with the neuro referral asap...but also to experiment with the prescriptions from the shrinks as well in the meantime.

As you are now, you run the risk of ruining both your life and the lives of others over a need to understand. Is is really gonna matter to you what's happening after you awaken from one of these episodes with blood on your hands, and no clue who's it is, etc?

Go now, right now, to a close friend or relative that is familiar with your situation, and seek help. For God's sake, don't waste any more time here. Get the CT scan, MRI, whatever else will help rule out a medical etiology before irreversible damage is done. In the meantime, make sure the trained mental health pro of your choice is aware of the blackouts and aggressive bx, admit that you fear you may be a danger to yourself and others, before more irreversible damage is done.

I wish you well, and will be more than happy to discuss with you what was going on...after you get yourself squared away.

Keep us posted, dude. Please do the right thing here.

reply to post by thefamiliar


If you ask me? Yes and no, it depends on the perspective:-) The main focus for you right now is your own well being. I have seen to much in life to just call you a nutcase. And I think your good intellect serves you well in this situation. Dont be afraid for medication, its not the ideal solution, but I have seen how these pills can support people in difficult situations and put them on a new path.

reply to post by wayno


far from it?

As I tried to say earlier All the signs point to me being ill. Its bizzare, I wrote that and I swear its true but then I re-read it and I thought what a load of complete and utter rubbish? I actually feel deeply embarrased to have said it. but now the embarresement is wearing off a bit I have to admit that its still true. I remember everything about my involvement with him in more detail than I do most other things. Also I know that several other people have in a sense met him and have been unable to explain what happened(far beyond the ones I've mentioned).
I also know that theres a lot more to the world than we understand so I'll stay away from those pills for now i think.

Originally posted by thefamiliar
reply to post by lightandfight

 

I'm mad as a box of frogs aren't I?
I think IJust answered my own question.

The 'ribbits' are deafening...joking , of course. I can understand your reluctance to name it, but what does the name translate to?