ATS I need some help on a domestic and/or law issue.

Originally posted by seeashrink
reply to post by Scarcer

 

Speaking as an LEO. The only valid threat is that of bodily harm for the most part. Slander is almost impossible to prove in court unless it is very clear documentation and is in no way true. Your matter is a civil one not criminal. Without proof of abuse law enforcement cannot help you. You can try the Department of Social Services, but from the info you have given thus far, with their case load, they are not going to be real interested.
Now I'm going to piss you off. At your age, your mind is made up and you don't want to be confused with the facts. Your actions sound noble, but do not confuse sympathy with love. You may be entering into a situation that you will regret for years to come, if not the rest of your life. For example; if you get this girl pregnant, you will be tied to this family and there ways for the rest of your life, like it or not. If they are as mean and devious as you make them sound you will be amazed at how they can screw your life up. Be careful
Seeashrink

Actually I'm not offended at all and appreciate your level input which I find valuable.

I might look into social service, but as you stated, it can be difficult to create much interest.

Well I love facts, that's why I've communicated with the law enforcement for their policy. I've made many mistakes through my life and lived through a lot of drama, so I've learned not to take two steps at a time without knowing what I'm doing.

Well in a sense I suppose I do love her to my knowledge, the blinding infatuation has passed, and I'm still here. There is some pitty, but I don't feel like it affects me being with her. This is something I've thought about many times.

Really, I value when an LEO or anyone for that matter can keep a level perspective without forming conclusions, let address the topic without opinionated interference.

reply to post by Scarcer


Sorry you felt that way but nothing in my post was offensive whatsoever. Now I'll give you something to really moan about.....I can see where you're going with this and you are not helping the suituation between this young girl and her family. Her immediate needs are priority over yours simply because she is underage and still in high school....you are not.

If you were involved with my underage daughter I'd have my local Police deal with you and take out an order against you stalking her. I'd make sure you don't come within 100 miles of her.

The more you post the more I learn of this suituation and it aint good my friend. I just knew there was more to this story than you told us. Now go get a job and be more productive instead of harrassing some poor family because all they want to do is protect their little girl from the burden of some 20 year old who really does'nt have this girl's best interests at heart....right?

Perhaps one day you MIGHT have a daughter and only then will you UNDERSTAND what you are doing is WRONG on all counts.

I hope all fathers (and mothers) of young and underage daughters tell you like it is in our world of parenthood!!!

...i disagree with the comments about her being too immature... she's nearly 17, thats not a child... i dont buy into that "they dont have a fully mature brain until they're in their mid-20s" junk... thats just newager backasserds psycho-babble...

...scarcer - so, now i'm wondering if her mom is seen as a meal ticket because of her disability checks... sadly, thats very common... good luck to you and lets us know how your visit went...

Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by Scarcer

 

Sorry you felt that way but nothing in my post was offensive whatsoever. Now I'll give you something to really moan about.....I can see where you're going with this and you are not helping the suituation between this young girl and her family. Her immediate needs are priority over yours simply because she is underage and still in high school....you are not.

If you were involved with my underage daughter I'd have my local Police deal with you and take out an order against you stalking her. I'd make sure you don't come within 100 miles of her.

The more you post the more I learn of this suituation and it aint good my friend. I just knew there was more to this story than you told us. Now go get a job and be more productive instead of harrassing some poor family because all they want to do is protect their little girl from the burden of some 20 year old who really does'nt have this girl's best interests at heart....right?

Perhaps one day you MIGHT have a daughter and only then will you UNDERSTAND what you are doing is WRONG on all counts.

I hope all fathers (and mothers) of young and underage daughters tell you like it is in our world of parenthood!!!

Your posting in vain, and I'm in vain of replying.

If you were involved with my underage daughter I'd have my local Police deal with you and take out an order against you stalking her. I'd make sure you don't come within 100 miles of her.

Cool, good thing I'm not dating your daughter. And good thing my gf's mom knows me and approves of me.

The more you post the more I learn of this suituation and it aint good my friend. I just knew there was more to this story than you told us. Now go get a job and be more productive instead of harrassing some poor family because all they want to do is protect their little girl from the burden of some 20 year old who really does'nt have this girl's best interests at heart....right?

Job, check, productivity, check. Harrasment... not checked, nor have I heard any complaints from 3 immediate family members. I could go on.

Now read my posts and breathe a little to get rid of that beat red face of yours.... It's evident you didn't.. It's evident that you hate me because you have some deep down self righteous need to hate me.. just because you can. That's your right.. it's also your right to make baseless accusations and conclusions.

It's also my right to put you on the ignore list for being so arrogant. No, not for disagreeing with me, as a few members already have and are welcome to.. but because you have been rude and have attacked my persona without sense to address the query in a level manner.

Perhaps one day you MIGHT have a daughter and only then will you UNDERSTAND what you are doing is WRONG on all counts.

Perhaps... somehow I can hear the faint echo of George Carlin's rants right about now.

Right and wrong are illusions, emotional barriers, nothing more, nothing less. No white and black, no merrit. Sorry.

I'm going to level the field and say your children must of hated growing up with you. Sure, my accusation is baseless, minus my review of your personality that is in context of this thread. I'm comfortable knowing my accusation is just as worthless and baseless as the ones you made at me.

I hope all fathers (and mothers) of young and underage daughters tell you like it is in our world of parenthood!!!

Keep it up... no wonder our education system is so poor.

reply to post by Wyn Hawks


Thankyou. We are still in the process of trying to clear the way for me to go down there. I'm rather impartial wither or not I get to visit, since making a fit out of it would solve nothing and only make me more stressed out. Rather I'm focusing more on their families situation.

I do not believe that she is currently getting used for money. At one point though one of the women took control of her bank account, and also a very large and important check. The lady had held their friendship over not allowing the mom to control her own finances and wouldn't allow her to cash the check. Because of a separate issue, a social worker learned about this and got involved and seamed to have put a stop to that.

Originally posted by Scarcer
reply to post by Wyn Hawks

 

making a fit out of it would solve nothing and only make me more stressed out. Rather I'm focusing more on their families situation.

...yep... its hard to witness someone being used and its even harder to know when its right to step in... sometimes the best we can do is just ride it out and "be there" if they need you...

reply to post by Wyn Hawks


Yes. Though my gf wants to get a restraining order on them when she's emancipated/age of majority. I can't blame her since she has been going through this since she lost her step dad.

I'm starting to think the mother is a bit of a lost cause. I've spoken to her about this many times, she knows better, and she knows what to do, but she's always scared of people hating her, and these women who are 'friends.' I find there is a fine line between attempting to empower the mother without being manipulative, especially when they are putting the pressure on her. Mind I say they exaggerate and use scaremongering tactics.

Originally posted by Scarcer
reply to post by Mr. D

 

Please...

address the issue at hand,

not try to ridicule me under your self righteous wing..

I refuse to answer your question in the manner it is addressed.

I am addressing the issue at hand without judgement or ridicule to either you
or your girlfriend. You asked for our help, be careful what you wish for. Does she know,
think or believe what you have in store for her? Is she the only women for you or is she
only one of many in store for you? Do you even know that? How can you promise her
anything if you don't even know yourself what others have in store for you? Ah yes, I think
maybe you may now understand a little bit more aye?

reply to post by Mr. D


Thankyou for your concern, it's welcomed.

It is all indirectly related to exactly what this thread was opened for, yet it is a bit off topic... which isn't precisely about relationship councilling.

I'm quite familiar with my own psych and I'm not afraid to question myself, and I'll say that I'm sincere to myself as well as her beliefs to the best of my ability without being superficial.

Originally posted by Scarcer
I'm starting to think the mother is a bit of a lost cause. I've spoken to her about this many times, she knows better, and she knows what to do, but she's always scared of people hating her, and these women who are 'friends.'

...maybe she's depressed since her husband died, feels lost... thats normal enough if she adored him... our experiences do indeed shape / transform us... sometimes thats a good thing, sometimes not...

Originally posted by Scarcer
I find there is a fine line between attempting to empower the mother without being manipulative,

...yep - exactly... tread softly...

Originally posted by Scarcer
especially when they are putting the pressure on her. Mind I say they exaggerate and use scaremongering tactics.

...they sound like predators - but - they could be just "well-intentioned" idiots... theres no shortage of that kind, especially in a close-knit community...