ATS Unleashed: Joke of the Week!

Drudge headlines for today


Is it coincidence that there is a drudge front headline about Bill Clinton Serving fried Chicken and immediately under it another story about finding semen on KFC chicken?

Uhhm, got to watch that slick willy

a reply to: interupt42

I think im gonna be sick...barf!!

Hillary Clinton was addressing a group of American Indians in New York telling them all she did as senator and all she plans to do for them as President. At the end of the meeting the chief gave her a plaque with her honorary Indian name, Walking Eagle. After she left someone asked the chief if there is any meaning to that name. He said "A walking Eagle is a bird that is so full of crap, it can not fly."


www.youtube.com...

For all you social media kids with your newfangled net speak , know that thou art the child of SATAN!!!!?????

a reply to: HomerinNC

Did you hear about the guy that fell into the upholstery machine?

He's fully recovered.

Where does bad light go?

Prism.......

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin catholic.....

There are only 10 types of people in the world - the ones that understand binary, and the ones that don't.

So I get home this morning and my dog is laying on my porch covered in snow and mud and has a rabbit in his mouth. He's not bloody, just dirty.
Now, my neighbors raised these rabbits for 4H and have blue ribbon winners. I instantly knew it was one of theirs. So I get the rabbit away from my dog, I take it inside, wash all the dirt off and before my neighbors got home I took it over, put him back in the cage and went back home.
Not 30 minutes later I hear my neighbors screaming, so I go out and ask them what's wrong?
They tell me their rabbit died three days ago and they buried it but now it's back in the cage.

how about this one:

A man went to the doctor’s office to get a double dose of Viagra. The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him a double dose. “Why not?” asked the man. “Because it’s not safe,” replied the doctor. “But I need it really bad,” said the man. “Well, why do you need it so badly?” asked the doctor. The man said, “My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday; and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can’t you see? I must have a double dose.” The doctor finally relented saying, “Okay, I’ll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects.” On Monday, the man dragged himself in; his arm in a sling. The doctor asked, “What happened to you?” The man said, “No one showed up.”

a reply to: HomerinNC

If you push your finger into your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pacman...

A farmer had a three legged pig and his neighbor asked him why the pig had only three legs.

“Well, I’ll tell you” the farmer replied. “One day I was plowing my field and the tractor turned over and pinned me underneath. That pig ran for help. He saved my life”.

“Oh, that’s how he lost his leg?” the neighbor drawled.

“No. One night my wife and I were sound asleep and the house caught on fire. That pig woke us up. He saved our lives!”

“So that’s how he lost his leg”, stated the neighbor.

“No, that wasn’t it” the farmer affirmed.

Exasperated, the neighbor demanded “Then how did he lose his leg?” and the farmer replied, “When you have a pig that good, you don’t eat him all at once!”

guy 1: have you had any paranormal experiences?

guy 2: yes i have

guy 1: tell me about it.

guy 2: well, a girl i was seeing ghosted me after three weeks of dating.

guy 1:

For those that like trivia:

Unleashed had it Beta show on November 7, 2010 with the first official show on November 14, 2010 at 14:00 Eastern or roughly 12 hours after this thread started. The first 23 shows were comedy (of sorts) but from Unleashed 24 onwards it was Music To Conspire To.

Unleashed had 75 shows ending on June 17, 2012.

Teacher her told her class that they would be talking about their fathers jobs today. Student would tell fathers profession and spell it, then tell a bit about it. Called on John 1st, John said my dad's a lawyer...L.A.W.Y.E.R....when one gets in trouble, my dad gets them out of it. Teacher then called on Timmy...Timmy said my dad's a sheet metal man, he makes ductwork and such for heating systems.....S.H.I.... S.H.I.... Timmy was having a tough time spelling it so the teacher told Timmy to go to the blackboard and write it out, maybe that would help him...She then called on Lenny....Lenny said my dad's a bookie, B.O.O.K.I.E the teacher said ..what's a bookie...Lenny said I'm not quite sure but I know if my dad was here right now he'd give you 3 to 1 odds that Timmy is going write sh!t on that blackboard before he sits down.

What do you call a pregnant nun.......a phucking liar...a reply to: Flavian

a reply to: interupt42

I had a Girlfriend Once , Asked me to Kiss Her where it Stinks , So I Drove Her to North Jersey............*)

What does a gay horse eat?
Haaaayyyyyy

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer?

What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?
Still no eye deer?

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no genitalia?
Still no f$&^in eye deer?

Whats high in the air and not on a tree? I told you now you tell me.
A knot on a tree.

Whats bigger than a house but smaller than a mouse?
A star