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ATS Unleashed: Joke of the Week!

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posted on Nov, 14 2010 @ 01:03 AM
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Thats right folks! Post your jokes here, and one will be picked as the ATS joke of the week by studio vote.

*disclaimer: all jokes become material for the ATS Unleashed studio to pick on, make fun of and generally heckle the joke teller*



posted on Nov, 14 2010 @ 01:09 AM
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So, Elvis and a storm trooper walk into ComicCon....



posted on Nov, 14 2010 @ 01:23 AM
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posted on Nov, 14 2010 @ 01:30 AM
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reply to post by BlastedCaddy
 


ugh i was waiting for that
Real nice LOL


+6 more 
posted on Nov, 14 2010 @ 01:35 AM
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Titanic Video vs Clinton Video


  • TITANIC VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet.
  • CLINTON VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet.


  • TITANIC VIDEO: Over 3 hours long.
  • CLINTON VIDEO: Over 3 hours long.


  • TITANIC VIDEO: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe.
  • CLINTON VIDEO: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe.


  • TITANIC VIDEO: Villain: White Star Line.
  • CLINTON VIDEO: Villain: Ken Starr.


  • TITANIC VIDEO: Jack is a starving artist.
  • CLINTON VIDEO: Bill is a B.S. artist.


  • TITANIC VIDEO: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
  • CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Bill.


  • TITANIC VIDEO: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
  • CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Monica.


  • TITANIC VIDEO: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
  • CLINTON VIDEO: Let's not go there.


  • TITANIC VIDEO: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
  • CLINTON VIDEO: Monica's forced to return her gifts.


  • TITANIC VIDEO: Behind the scenes: Leonardo DiCaprio is wildly popular.
  • CLINTON VIDEO: Behind the scenes: Bill Clinton's approval rating is at 70 percent.


  • TITANIC VIDEO: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
  • CLINTON VIDEO: Bill goes home to Hillary.







posted on Nov, 14 2010 @ 01:44 AM
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posted on Nov, 14 2010 @ 05:07 AM
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reply to post by HomerinNC
 


Awhh CMON!



posted on Nov, 14 2010 @ 08:12 AM
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A priest, a Rabbi and a Minister walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them, scoffs and says, "What is this? A joke"?




posted on Nov, 14 2010 @ 01:38 PM
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posted on Nov, 14 2010 @ 03:09 PM
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reply to post by baddmove
 


and that was told over the air



posted on Nov, 15 2010 @ 08:15 PM
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reply to post by HomerinNC
 


LOL..yea..i heard it on a local radio station here in Washington...



posted on Nov, 15 2010 @ 10:28 PM
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posted on Nov, 16 2010 @ 12:53 AM
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+13 more 
posted on Nov, 16 2010 @ 03:54 AM
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A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."



posted on Nov, 17 2010 @ 10:16 AM
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posted on Nov, 18 2010 @ 09:39 AM
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*** ATTENTION ***

Keep it clean please.

This is not a Trash Can thread or a Bar room discussion.

Terms and Conditions Apply.

Thank You.

Mod Note: Terms & Conditions Of Use – Please Review This Link.



15b.) Profanity: You will not use profanity in our forums on the Websites, and will neither Post with language or content that is obscene, sexually oriented, or sexually suggestive nor link to sites that contain such content. You will also not use common alternative spellings or net-speak alternative for profane words.



posted on Nov, 18 2010 @ 10:03 AM
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You know what I don't like about consitpated people???


They don't give a [snip]


Korg.
edit on 18-11-2010 by elevatedone because: Mod Edit - removed prof.



posted on Nov, 19 2010 @ 03:09 AM
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Dang! I'll post a PG joke then:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A little girl.
A little girl, who?
A little girl who knocked on the door because she couldn't reach the doorbell!



posted on Nov, 19 2010 @ 03:30 AM
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Originally posted by Arrius
Dang! I'll post a PG joke then:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A little girl.
A little girl, who?
A little girl who knocked on the door because she couldn't reach the doorbell!


Hmmm it appears we can't post anything that is funny since most things that are funny contain some sexual reference or profanity....

Looks like ATS or BTS is not the place for jokes....

This thread is shaping up to be a dangerous one to post in. Look at all the warns and post edits


Korg.



posted on Nov, 19 2010 @ 03:50 AM
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Originally posted by Korg Trinity

Hmmm it appears we can't post anything that is funny since most things that are funny contain some sexual reference or profanity....

Looks like ATS or BTS is not the place for jokes....

This thread is shaping up to be a dangerous one to post in. Look at all the warns and post edits


Korg.


Are you saying my PG joke was not funny? *sobs*



Yeah, I thought it'd be OK to post a non-PG joke here, but I realize I cannot. And I can understand why the mod issued warnings about this, and I respect that. But I agree with you, most jokes I find funny contain non-PG stuff.....Oh well....

Neither of us posted a joke...which is what this thread is about...watch out, we could get a "off-topic" warning right here...

edit on 19-11-2010 by Arrius because: (no reason given)



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