Thank You, Daddy

reply to post by hotbakedtater


I showed a couple of examples of your work to one of my Lodge members, who happens to be a professional writer. I will not tell you what he said just in case your head swells too much. LOL

It was VERY complimentry.

Originally posted by TheLoneArcher
reply to post by network dude

 

The next time you are over here in Germany, you should pay a visit to Munich. Just south of there is a small monestery called Andechs. Believe me Brother, it is the best beer I have ever tasted and it only comes in litres. LOL

Here you are OP, can you write a small ditty on German beer?
I bet you could make it sound 100 times better than it really is.

German Beer, my heart holds near...

I'd dump my gal for you.

By the Liter, You can't Beat 'er,

I'd dump my pal for you, too!!

Originally posted by TheLoneArcher
reply to post by hotbakedtater

 

I showed a couple of examples of your work to one of my Lodge members, who happens to be a professional writer. I will not tell you what he said just in case your head swells too much. LOL

It was VERY complimentry.

Wow, now that is something I dont hear everyday. I appreciate you showing off my work, the more feedback a writer has the better.

I love writing, and could literally churn out (or as we in the business like to say, HACK) story after story I would be proud of. Give me a topic, I can more than likely write it up decently.

Without a college degree, I have NO idea how to utilize my God given talents as a means of support. I would love to be n editor, I have spotted spelling errors on the headline news ticker before, rofl.

Anyway, for now I share my work here and try to get feedback, if your friend knows of any writing critic forums that move, it would be nice.

Thank you again for the compliments.

My head done already swolled right up.

reply to post by hotbakedtater


There are many magazines out there that would welcome freelance writers to draft poems. Try a quick search on the net.

Good beer poem. Fast too. (Respect).

German beer is magical
It makes me smile and squint
My head gets real big

A Hiaku for you

You cried writing it?

I cried reading it.

Thank you, it was beautiful.

OC

Worship of force. I'm all for defense of self, family and country, but our brothers and fathers are now the oppressors. Tell them to get their tails home where they belong and stop fighting for global domination.

Relevant link. www.infowars.com...

Originally posted by yoesse
Worship of force. I'm all for defense of self, family and country, but our brothers and fathers are now the oppressors. Tell them to get their tails home where they belong and stop fighting for global domination.

Relevant link. www.infowars.com...

edit on 20-11-2010 by yoesse because: added link to good article

Why stink up the lady's thread with your political views?

.

Originally posted by OldCorp

Originally posted by yoesse
Worship of force. I'm all for defense of self, family and country, but our brothers and fathers are now the oppressors. Tell them to get their tails home where they belong and stop fighting for global domination.

Relevant link. www.infowars.com...

edit on 20-11-2010 by yoesse because: added link to good article

Why stink up the lady's thread with your political views?

.

I'm glad you asked. "Political Issues: Discuss the escalation of tension and war in the Mid-East." I guess I believe this forum should also support the de-escalation of tension and war in the Mid-East.

I'm sure you will agree things are not well. The old war formulas bring about the same predictable results. I find this gushing female response to a male dominated death machine to be offensive. Specifically, this poem though creative no doubt, elicits the glorification of war. Effective at rallying others to a cause. I see it as war propaganda. She has fallen for it and she is spreading it. Should I In our times sit back and decide to say nothing because it would seem unpopular, I would be giving my tacit agreement. It is these kinds of agreements that are constructing the mess we find ourselves in. So I said something.

Originally posted by yoesse

Originally posted by OldCorp

Originally posted by yoesse
Worship of force. I'm all for defense of self, family and country, but our brothers and fathers are now the oppressors. Tell them to get their tails home where they belong and stop fighting for global domination.

Relevant link. www.infowars.com...

edit on 20-11-2010 by yoesse because: added link to good article

Why stink up the lady's thread with your political views?

.

I'm glad you asked. "Political Issues: Discuss the escalation of tension and war in the Mid-East." I guess I believe this forum should also support the de-escalation of tension and war in the Mid-East.

I'm sure you will agree things are not well. The old war formulas bring about the same predictable results. I find this gushing female response to a male dominated death machine to be offensive. Specifically, this poem though creative no doubt, elicits the glorification of war. Effective at rallying others to a cause. I see it as war propaganda. She has fallen for it and she is spreading it. Should I In our times sit back and decide to say nothing because it would seem unpopular, I would be giving my tacit agreement. It is these kinds of agreements that are constructing the mess we find ourselves in. So I said something.

I do agree. I just don't think a poetry thread is the right venue for a political discussion. I fully support your right to use her poem as a jumping off point for a new thread, where I would be happy to engage you in such a discussion.

Peace out.

reply to post by OldCorp


Thank you for reading and enjoying, OC. I appreciate it.

reply to post by hotbakedtater


It’s always good to get a little feedback. I haven’t read anything else written by you, and if I am honest, the ‘poem’ doesn’t inspire me to do so. Perhaps poetry isn’t your thing… well at least going by this example it clearly isn’t. Poetry isn’t just about making words rhyme or wrapping them around some gushing sentiment. True poetry has an ineffable quality that for the moment you clearly lack. Who knows you might eventually be able to lift yourself up to the standard of greeting cards etc…I read the poem a few times and with each reading my appreciation of your ‘talent’ went down a notch. Do you honestly believe this is poetry? I am assuming that you do otherwise why would you post this? What does this say about your literary appreciation or understanding of anything in general? Why don’t you give me a link to what you think is your ‘best ever’ whatever, and I’ll give you some more feedback, while perhaps being a little more specific. This could be to your advantage as all of these silly praiseworthy comments that you are receiving on this thread will do you no good whatsoever.

Regards Midicon.

reply to post by midicon


The reason many of us have praised this young lday is that she has identified with the experiences that many of us have gone through, myself included. I for one have read between the lines. She has written it with her heart. Although you may be a very good writer and respect to you if you are, I have to disagree with your critique. If a piece of work triggers a memory or an emotional response, as this one did, I would say that it has achieved its aim.

Originally posted by TheLoneArcher
reply to post by midicon

 

The reason many of us have praised this young lday is that she has identified with the experiences that many of us have gone through, myself included. I for one have read between the lines. She has written it with her heart. Although you may be a very good writer and respect to you if you are, I have to disagree with your critique. If a piece of work triggers a memory or an emotional response, as this one did, I would say that it has achieved its aim.

I agree with you on this....that was a heartfelt piece of writing that she shared with us. The previous poster doesn't offer us his "poetry", or his credentials to be a critic for that matter on what is poetry. Poetry comes in many different forms and with the advent of "freestyle" poetry, even some of what I call prose, would be considered poetry nowadays. Well done to the young lady I say!

Poetry is not my strongest suit, and of course, my other works of sci fi and cosmic fiction (which are linked in my siggie) probably wont appeal to you either. But I appreciate the feedback, I always do. I appreciate the time you took to comment. Thanks.reply to post by midicon

Thank you for your kind words, tsawyer2. I appreciate them.reply to post by tsawyer2

reply to post by hotbakedtater

Hi,

I thought I should pop back into this thread, just to apologise really. I think I was in an off mood when I posted earlier. I hope you can forgive me. The only point I can justify in any way is, that we do need critics and indeed one critic can be more important for development than ten yea sayers. Having said that, it does take courage to expose oneself to criticism and I applaud you for that. Also I read your short story 'The Door' and I think you can write, perhaps you just have to keep at it. I'm sure if you do you will become succesful.

Regards and apologies,

Midicon.

reply to post by midicon


You have earned my respect. Not many would return to a thread and openly say what you have said.
This is the kind of spirit ATS needs.

Have a great weekend.

And OP, please keep them coming.

Thank you so much for posting this. As a veteran and one with an in law in Afgahastan right now, it was truely touching. To the nay sayers muddying up this fine thread, I agree with others, start another thread and I'll be happy to debate you there, but please refrain from purposely trying to belittle something that means nothing to you.

reply to post by adifferentbreed


Star for you. My son is out there too, the other will join him soon.