Perpetuation of myths to your children..

reply to post by sticky


By not perpetuating the myths you create a child that will be skeptical of anything that doesn't off hard proof. While this isn't a bad thing in and of itself, limiting a child's ability to stretch their imagination will make for a narrow/closed minded individual.

Most of the biggest scientific breakthroughs were brought about because someone dreamed of it first. You take away a child’s imaginative growth and you might stunt their creativity in the future. There is no harm in my 4 year old believing in Santa Claus. Would it be easier on me if he didn't? You better believe it would. Trips to the mall so he can sit on Santa's lap, creeping around Christmas Eve night to get all the toys assembled and laid out for him as if Santa brought them. But I do this so he can dream that a fat, white bearded, old man can fly around the world in one night and come down chimney’s. I do this so his love of the fantastic might carry forward into the future and his belief that anything is possible is always intact.

I'm going to attack the OP very lightly here. I think that you're stance is heartless. Okay, attack over (told you it would be light. I just think that you sound very jaded and that you are so busy trying to find all the things that are wrong in the world that nothing holds wonder or surprise for you anymore. You need to try to recapture what it felt like to be seven years old on Christmas morning seeing the presents that Santa brought you. I wish you well and hope you find the answer that you're looking for. However, please do not squash anyone's dreams, especially children, that's actually kind of making me sad to think about.

I'm opposed to the Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy lies. That's what they are to me, my personal opinion of course. We do celebrate them though. They get Christmas presents and Easter baskets and even get $$ for their teeth. They've never been under the misconceptions of these characters. I've always been honest and open and they know where their 'goodies' come from. It's fun to wake up and find those surprises waiting for you. Very few things in life are surprises anymore and I want to do that for them as long as I can. As time has passed they use the terms for these guys...Santa comes tomorrow...the Tooth fairy left me $$. They also know Mommy's Santa, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy. My children know how Thanksgiving came about, where the idea of Halloween came about, all of the lies and cover ups ever told for forever.
There's something I tell my children on a regular basis...U can never trust liars or thieves. What kind of role model would I be if I was either? You have to live by example, you set the standards for your children. Santa's a pretty big lie. He goes on for years and years...10,11,12?? Thats a long time to continue lying to those who trust you above all others. I think it'd break a special bond. Can you imagine the person you trust implicitly lying to you on that level? Your spouse, who you're closest to, who you love more than anything has lied to you for a decade or more?? Could you trust them afterwards? I certainly couldnt/wouldnt regardless of the reason.
There's a funny story, I think, about my girlfriends son and his realization of there not being a Santa. It was probably not fair to the other kids though. He went to school and stood up in class telling everyone that they were being misled(He was in 3rd grade). How there was no Santa, that they were being brainwashed...lol. Kids were crying everywhere. He got called to the office and his Mom had to come in. She told him how inappropriate he was, how it wasnt his place. He stood up and said 'It's my obligation to inform everyone of this lie, they're all being lied to!!!'. My gf made many an enemy that year bcuz of him. I still think it's hilarious.
Now, with that being said...It's not YOUR place to tell ur friends kid anything. You are not the parent and it's none of your business when it comes to this matter. You never, ever step in when it comes to a parent and their child, except in certain circumstances of course. Whether you agree with him or not what He's doing is not illegal. It's a personal decision he and his spouse came to and really is not any of your business. If you do say something be prepared. The kid may end up hating you for calling his parents out, calling them liars. Not to mention you could damage your friendship beyond repair. Is that something your willing to chance?

Kim

...sticky - good on you for actively participating in your nephew's life - not enough folks do that anymore (so it seems)...

...there is nothing wrong with telling children myths AS LONG AS the children know it is a fable, a fairy tale, an exercise in imagination... some kids dont require this info but some do and those are the at risk kids because they're gullible and that can lead to tragedy...

...i seriously doubt the claims that children not taught to believe fantasy is a possible reality will grow up to be inept in the field of imagination... i think thats an excuse to attempt to justify the rightness of telling kids whoppers - and - it shows just how deep the brainwashing goes among that ilk...

...some kids dont have a problem with finding out that their parents were santa claus - but - some do and wonder what other lies mom and dad told... some of those kids never get over the loss of trust and it affects their success in other relationships...

...be careful how you talk about your nephew's parents (in front of him) because little kids have the tendency to make everything all about themselves... ie: if you say his father is a worthless slug or his mother is a hoochee, it could give the kid a negative perception of himself... not saying you do that, just mentioning a pitfall thats often overlooked...

...concerning the comments about respecting other parents' right to tell their kids whoppers - sure, they got a right to raise their kids anyway they want but their rights stop at my front door...

...good luck with your nephew...

Wow, sorry for the long ass post. Thought I hit enter 2x between each paragraph

reply to post by sticky


i don't have children, but i grew up being told about the tooth fairy, santa claus, etc. and i didn't get messed up in the least. yes, i was upset that i found out it wasn't real. and then i went on with my childhood and forgot about it.

i personally think it's not really that big of a deal either way. and you're coming off extremely defensive; you don't have to. even if 90% of ATS was against you, why should you care? this is a forum... it's just something on the internet.

anyway i think "to each their own" is a good way to go. but i think it's fun for the kids to believe there's a santa claus or tooth fairy. fantasy and surprise and imagination are things kids are good at. i haven't ever heard of a child being traumatized by being told the truth.

You can think and believe what you want...But Santa still comes to see me and leaves me gifts...he still leaves gifts for all of my children.

What a terrible thing to miss out on the magic and wonder of life...do you eat snow cream?.... still make sand castles? I am 47 and the summer would not be complete without sand castles. I still catch snow flakes, and I hope one day to put my grand children's teeth under the pillow for the "tooth fairy."

We still have Easter Egg hunts, and on Christmas Eve we go out into the barn and read the Christmas Story of Jesus' birth...interesting fact.... and this is true, .. the animals kneel at the mention of His name while reading, pretty cool.

Anyway, life is what you make it... I like the wonderful mysteries and magic of life... only 3.5 months till Santa comes...Ho,Ho,Ho.

It's not some evil "perpetuation of myths". Lying is wrong but a society where no one has an imagination and everyone just tells the stark truth based solely on observations would be filled with miserable cretins who couldn't tell fact from fiction from myth. Huge parts of our culture shouldn't change just because you felt silly when you realized the tooth fairy wasn't real.