Perpetuation of myths to your children..

I was just involved in a sms/text debate with my best friend that was based on Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, super heros and other myths that he labeled as "Childhood".

I'm completely compelled to tell my children (should I have any) all the possible truths that I can about the world. The rest, they can decide what they want to believe in. Things like the above mentioned, don't make my list of stuff they should be taught to believe in without proof. That list is pretty short, I don't think I can list one thing that I'd want to shape their belief of at a young age.

There are a few catches in this story, for one, I don't have, nor want kids of my own. He on the other hand, has a 9 year old daughter. This makes us both completely biased on our opinions of the matter.

The stance I used in the debate. Why should I continue to perpetuate myths? What good can come of it in the long run? As a society, we respect traditions moreso than we accept truth. In my opinion, this is part of the problem with us, we like believing in things that just aren't true.

His stance was that I will somehow ruin their childhood by telling them the truth, not to mention the influence they would have on other kids by ruining theirs as well.

I'm not really asking who's wrong, because frankly I don't care. I have my opinion and he has his. 90% of ATS, or even more than that, will defend his point of view. I already know you will. You will say that we should continue to perpetuate these myths to our children. I wanna know why you feel that way. I wanna know what purpose does it serve for the childs well being.

I also know that you're going to mention the emotional aspects as well, both from the parent and child. I know you enjoy watching your 7 year old get excited about christmas or putting their tooth under their pillow. But, are you doing it for them or for yourself?

Perpetuating the myths for our children keeps them open to the endless world of possibilities out there. By believing in the impossible, they keep their minds open to all possibilities and, hopefully, will learn that anything is possible for those who believe and work hard to achieve their goals.

By limiting chindren to only what can be proven by facts and observation, you are limiting their imagination. Imagine a world in which people had dismissed Star Trek as just silly science fiction; without the inspiration of that show, we may not have developed cell phones and advanced computers. Because someone chose to believe in the unreality of the Star Trek universe, our technology advanced by leaps and bounds. Stifeling the imaginations of children can stunt their growth in so many ways.

Also, as they grow older, they learn to use their intellect and reason to eventually overcome the myths their parents told them; this develops important critical thinking skills in the maturing mind and teaches them to question everything. If their parents are capable of teaching them things that are untrue, it is possible that anyone can do the same. This is just as important a lesson for children to learn as is the development of their imaginations.

With these two gifts of the myth telling parents, the children can grow up to infinite possibilities.

IMO myths, were created for the ill informed, or less educated in order to either scare them or inform them the only way that they could understand.

The reason for the tooth fairy, and santa, IMO is for the parents. Kids these days don't care where they get gifts from, as long as they get gifts. I feel that children should be aware that a fat man, does not in fact enter their homes at night and reward them for being good, but that they as the parent are the ones with the ultimate authority on what they get, and why they get it, also that their parents work hard for the presents they get.

We sometimes wonder where we lost our kids, and why they don't always see us as figures of authority, and maybe its because you told them bunnies bring chocolate, santa brings gifts, and fairies give money.

I am a mother, and have never told my kids any of these fables, they seem erelavant and honestly they feel like I have to talk down to them, or put the parental authority to a figure that me myself knows doesn't exist.

Peace, NRE.

Myths like fairytales and fables serves the purpose of teaching a lesson or moral values. Take Santa for example, he teaches sharing, gift giving, charity.

If people only spoke the truth, the world would be a very quiet place.

I don't remember ever believing in Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, jesus, or any other mythological creature. But I will troll my kids by pretending some of them are real. They will eventually deduce logically that a fat man couldn't deliver gifts to all the kids around the world in a single night, even if he DID have flying reindeer.

These myths allow children to realize they can't believe everything an authority tells them - not even their parents. And in my opinion, that is the greatest life lesson one can learn.

Because there is joy in the innocent enjoyment of mystery on the part of children. One may see it as "duping" your kids, but they have plenty of life ahead of them to learn the hard lessons of mundanity and tedium. From the standpoint of a parent, there is a pleasure unparalleled in these sort of events, as we recall our own memories, our own joys, and delight in seeing that our children are, as we once were.

reply to post by FortAnthem


I really enjoyed your point of view here. It is hard to disagree with. I can't argue that it isn't logical, nor can I agrue that it isn't in the best interest of the children either.

Maybe my thoughts in this debate are skewed somehow. They've formed because of a 4 year old nephew I spend much time with. I can't help but to try to teach him everything, but it seems all he cares about is stuff that isn't reality at all. Your post helps me to see another side of why I should just let him believe in whatever he wants, but it still bothers me.

That's how my debate started with my friend anway. Talking of my nephew.

reply to post by worldwatcher


Do we really need santa to do this? Why can't we influence them that those things are good to do. I understand the parallel of it being a learning lesson, but do we necessarily need some fable to do it for us.

reply to post by sticky


I believe that you can teach your child to use their imagination, you dont need a story to teach your kids about charity, kindness, or giving, that's the parents job.

And by placing yourself in the position of lets say santa, you can in fact teach your kid that your intent was for them to see first hand that everyone (real people) can do these things for others.

Peace, NRE.

I think like most fairy tales St Nicholas was originally supposed to be a simple way of imparting a deeper moral or social truth to a child in a way that they could understand it.

The Santa clause of past traditions (although varied from country to country) usually involved something extra apart from a man that gave you gifts i.e. sometimes the gifts were given in return for the child helping to feed santas Reindeer, or Odins horses if you go back further, teaching a lesson about charity and helping people, or in other cases Santa Clause would punish bad children as well as giving the good ones gifts.

This image of Santa now seems to have been replaced with a sugary sweet person that is mainly used by advertising companies to sell shoddy goods and has no moral lesson attached to it whatsoever, If it teaches children anything it's that they deserve to get given free stuff.

Most traditional tales have quite a dark edge to them in order to prepare children for some of the more unpleasant bits of life they are going to have to face, Santa has had all of that removed and what remains isn't worth anything

I was on the other end of the phone about the topic. What was not mentioned is that he wanted to tell his nephew these things. If it was his child he can raise his child the why he wants. Since it is not I feel it is not his place to tell the child about these things unless he had consent from the parents.

reply to post by maddogg11


CHICO!! omg, you came to ATS FINALLY..... lets give him a round of applause..

I did tell them it concerned my nephew, but the OP needed to brush the picture with a more generalization of the topic..

I'm just happy you came to this website.. woot!!

With that said, for the things that I have posted above, I think it is ABSOLUTELY the parents or guardians decision on what the children are told on the above subjects.

I would never tell that to anyone else's kid, but I would let the parent know that my kids do not believe and there's a possibility it may come out.

To each his own.

Peace, NRE.

reply to post by maddogg11


Unfortunately, I don't think very highly of the parents. You know this better than anyone else in the world. One didn't even know the kid was his until after birth, and the other one had the baby because "they could get lots of child support out of it".... One of them is my sibling, but hey, I'm just telling the truth here.

Yeah, the parents.. Why do I care what they think? He's my blood, I'll decide what I feel is best for him when I'm watching him. If it's from my heart and soul, and I don't feel ill conscious over it. It must be the right thing to do.

Perpetuating these myths as mentioned in the OP can only lead to one thing, after all the nice, fluffy little Christmases and Easters are done and the child learns the truth.. they Learn You Lied to Them!!

How then are they to trust us if we lie to them in any way?

Same thing applies to what consequences parents choose for kids.. if you say you will do something and don't.. the child knows you Lied to them Again.

I'm totally against all aspects of Dishonesty. From myself I expect total Honesty at all times, and when interacting with my child I am totally honest at all times.

It is the only way to be in this world.. Totally Honest.

Originally posted by NoRegretsEver
With that said, for the things that I have posted above, I think it is ABSOLUTELY the parents or guardians decision on what the children are told on the above subjects.

I would never tell that to anyone else's kid, but I would let the parent know that my kids do not believe and there's a possibility it may come out.

To each his own.

Peace, NRE.

Here's the problem. That kid knows and can identify his alphabet, because of ME, that kid can count quantity, because of ME. that kid pronounces words better, because of ME...

I've done more for the development of his brain than both of his parents put together, and I only see him 40 hours a week since he was born..

My motives are only in the childs best interests. I'll probably still be the spoiler at some point, and I don't care if it's my place or not.

I have always been honest with my kids and they still believe in Santa, they know it is not the material part of Christmas but the majic of light and love and endless possibility.

I am Santa, anyone with the spirit of love and selfless giving can be really.

It's ungentlemanly to unwind all the spun lies of another parent... so, I have found an alternative.

When kids (nieces and nephews mostly) talk about Santa Claus with me, I state plainly that if I catch a hooded figure uninvited in my house creeping around in the dark... that I'm going to shoot him dead.

This usually illicits all kinds of reactions. "But it's SANTA"! Well, instead of continuing the lie, I remark about the actions I would truly imagine myself taking. If I catch some wild animal (a rodent no less) in my yard crapping all over the place (even if it defecates eggs), I'm going to snatch a weapon and shoot it, then cut the guts out, and cook him on a spit over the fire.

Needless to say, after the first brush like this, I don't really see my nieces and nephews around holidays ;-)

Along a similar note (but within contention), when children reference "god" I immediately inquire, "Which one"? Often, I they respond with a quizzical look, and then I have about 3-5 minutes of lecturing about various gods (some of which they're familiar with), and restate my question: "Which one were you referring to"?

That's some great stuff, and usually cracks the matrix filter so much so, that even if their parents continue with the mythos, it won't stick blindly

I understand about being honest to your children but serious, is a little lie going to ruin there life. I dont even remember when I found out about Santa nor do I hold it against my parents. I mean serious if you pounding it out with your mate and you child walks in you dont say "Hold on little one I have your mom in the wheelbarrow position we will be right out". You tell them you playing a game or something. As long as its your child tell them all you want about Santa, tooth fairy, etc. Since it is not I feel its up to the parents to let them know. Sorry if I offended anyone but I also really dont care if I did.

Originally posted by maddogg11
I understand about being honest to your children but serious, is a little lie going to ruin there life. I dont even remember when I found out about Santa nor do I hold it against my parents. I mean serious if you pounding it out with your mate and you child walks in you dont say "Hold on little one I have your mom in the wheelbarrow position we will be right out". You tell them you playing a game or something. As long as its your child tell them all you want about Santa, tooth fairy, etc. Since it is not I feel its up to the parents to let them know. Sorry if I offended anyone but I also really dont care if I did.

Hi,

Any lie is Dishonesty.

Little White Lies are Dishonesty

How we word a reply to children is important to them, and yes they don't need to know every detail in such a case as you described.. so witholding info is fine.. all info needs to be on a Need to Know basis anyway.

And no offence taken mate.. all good.