Manual on How to Molest Children Is Legal, Cops Say

reply to post by adigregorio

Is there any behavior I should look for, from my brother, that might be a "red flag"

I've been in therapy on & off for about 20yrs, mainly to do with the effects of what was finally diagnosed as what is now called "bi-polar disorder", but in the meantime, there was plenty of self-medication. I think I've been lucky to have mainly good therapists & some of it has been in a group setting, with people who had self-medication problems also. These stemmed from all sorts of issues such as, eating disorders, simple low self-esteem, full-on incipient schizophrenia, bizarre OCDs, etc. The common root however was OCD. Each of us just couldn't stop doing what we did, even tho many of us knew full well it was harming us. There were also a fair few who had been abused as kids.
Naturally, as you start to get an understanding of your problems, 1 of the 1st things you want to know is 'how is this affecting my kids?'
1 of my best therapists revealed that she had been "in love" with her abuser aged 13. TBH, I didn't pay much attention b/c it wasn't relevant to my problems, but I do remember her saying that the kind of child whom is most at risk is 1 that forms intense attachments to a single individual at a time, attempting to get all their social needs met by that person (which itself is a related form of OCD). Obviously, relationship dynamics are fluid, but she said, if a child or (& I'm guessing here, a naive adult), with whom you have a close relationship, suddenly drops you, chances are its because they're, not necessarily sexually, infatuated with someone else.
However, since such people are vulnerable to those who would abuse them, we should make it our business to find out 'who, how, what, when, why' about the situation.
Hope this helps.

reply to post by Bunken Drum


All advice is helpful

My bro, having a spectrum disorder, is the end all be all of a "vulnerable kid". He is 100% trusting of any person who is over 18 because as he says, "They are an adult, and adults are good!" And, since a spectrum disorder, does not affect (effect?) looks like say Autism... (I am not making fun of Autism, they are some of the brightest bulbs in the box of humanity.)

And, he does not live with me. He lives with my mother still, which is no worry in itself. But when he is at school he is not at home, when he is at daycare he is not at home (You get the idea)

So, what I will do! Make sure that adults are only friends with him if it is appropriate IE Teacher Bob can be a friend, as long as he is not walking him home. Or taking him out for "dates".

Like I said earlier, perhaps writing an "anti-pedo" book? I know I would buy one...just sayin'

I mean seriously, only pedophiles will take an interest and d/l this document.

If I was a parent, I'd buy it.
Know your enemy.

reply to post by adigregorioWell, 2 Dr.s have speculated that I may have a touch of a "spectrum disorder", but I'm also cursed with a very high IQ, so I dunno whether to believe them, or to go with the consensus. A lot of my problems stem from an inability to communicate (this is why I love t'internet!). Things I find obvious are apparently appropos of nothing to many. Similarly, often, commonly held beliefs make no sense to me, so I get flustered trying to respond, whilst trying to imagine what my interlocutor will understand. Still, despite that, I have always been very trusting. In this 1 & only respect, its fortunate that I had a violent upbringing b/c, when I've had enough of somebody, I'll say so in no uncertain terms.
That said, there were 2 instances where older people took advantage of me sexually & emotionally during my early to mid teens. However, I was pretty much an independent person by then & also used them for contacts that brought in money. I cant say that I was truly aware of what was going on, but I knew it was mutual piss-taking. Was it abuse? Strictly, yes, but I dont feel abused.
My point is that we all have needs. So yeah, if Teacher Bob is teaching your bro & wants to date him, that's obviously inappropriate. However, if he falls in love with Teacher Steve, who isn't teaching him, then it may be ok. Thats where the investigation is needed.
Lets face it, we'd all idealise unconditional love, but truthfully, it always at least starts out as a bargain: I need this; you need that - deal! It would be as wrong to wrap people in cotton-wool as to completely neglect them.