Lying to our children

Should we allow the Media and parents to lie to the youth of America?

When kids are little we tell them things that are just flat out lies. For example: The Easter Bunny, Santa, and Numerious other things. I don't feel this is right. We shoudln't lie to our children. A Child's development of their brain starts very early. Also children learn more when they are younger before the Age of Five(5) than any other age. Nerve cells don't produce any more after about the Age of five(5).

Do we really want to let them believe something is true and then have them find out later it's not? This has to have some kind of pyschological and social impact on the child. It also has parents lying to their children.

I believe we should educate our children to the best of our ablities while they are young and will actually pay attention. It annoys me when a young child asks his/her parent something and the parent lies. Like, "Where do babies come from?" I'm sorry but I don't see a lot of birds carrying babies to houses. Also when a pet dies or something. "He went to the farm" What? Why lie to our children? Educate them on Death and Life. Allow them to grow as individuals. There has to be some impact on the children when we do this.

I don't think this is right. What are your thoughts?

[edit on 21-6-2004 by HombreConUnPollo]

I think we should worry more about the lies the media are feeding our children other than Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

If you examine what they are telling us then you'd understand what they are planting in the seeds of the next generation: Education.

I tend to agree with you about this. By the time I was 6, I knew there was no way this Father Christmas guy could get around the whole world in one night. And I was very suss of the number of red-suited guys around outside. When I told my mother I didn't believe in this fairy tale, she became cross & told me Santa wouldn't visit me if I thought that way.

So I sneaked around, & found my presents, but I knew better than to say anything. I was really suss of my parents after that. Then it got worse - taken to the doctor for an immunisation, both he & my mother told me it wouldn't hurt a bit. It hurt like hell. Both of these incidents occurrewd around the same time. I never trusted my mother again.

Originally posted by Bastet
.... Then it got worse - taken to the doctor for an immunisation, both he & my mother told me it wouldn't hurt a bit. It hurt like hell. Both of these incidents occurrewd around the same time. I never trusted my mother again.

Exatcly. I hate it when they are like this won't hurt. Yeah it will don't lie to me. And I hate this even more, "This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you" when they whip you. I'm whose butt is being repeatedly hit with a belt or hand. Um that would be mine not yours. So don't lie to me and tell me you hurt from this you're getting pleasure from it. Our Children don't need to be lied to. We need to INFORM our children NOT LIE.

Illmatic67: I have no idea what you even said in your post. I would comment but you made no sense to me.

I think the fantasies imposed by our parents is a mute point .. Things like the easter bunny and Christmas (santa) were meant for our enjoyment , as well as to avoid the explaination of religion until we were mature enough to accept the facts .... As far as immunization goes , we all got suckered.... and poked !! For our own good in the eyes of our parents .

My folks never received the owners manual that came with me , maybe yours did...

Yeah i agree, i'd much rather of had the truth hit me square in the face when i was a little kid than to be lied to with all these fake stories of everything from santa clause to the tooth fairy (although i didnt mind getting some space change lol).

Another thing, a lot of parents treat their children like they don't know jack and have to be told how to do everything down to how to breathe, just playing, but really let them figure it out on their own, or if they don't, well they need that guidance.

Hrm, i'm not too big on rules and have never been grounded in my life, i just didn't see how that was possible either as a child. 'Can't leave the house? sure i can! *walks out door*'

Media does affect the majority of kids these days, i also think its a social thing too, you goto school and talk about your favorite show that everyone watches and if you don't you're not cool.
Commercials are also brainwashing young kids (like under 10) to be the next big spenders on consumer products. A lot of the products are things that their parents buy for them, like that cool whatever-colorfull-wonderous new cereal they see on tv, they beg their mommy to get it for them while they're grocery shopping.
Ahh it hurts to think how molded people become from the media. Also it's easier to mold young minds too. I think this is a dangerous practice, i'm sure parents are not as bad as media though, like they don't mean any harm, or just want their kid to have fun and a creative imagination with all the fairy tale stories of santa clause etc.

Although, you said "Do we really want to let them believe something is true and then have them find out later it's not?"
that got me thinking, yeah it IS a good thing, then they learn not to trust anyone but what they learn for themselves.

Originally posted by oddtodd
I ...Things like the easter bunny and Christmas (santa) were meant for our enjoyment , as well as to avoid the explaination of religion until we were mature enough to accept the facts ...

yes but look at little kids. They are honest and intrigued with the world. and I think they can handle the facts. Kids understand more than we think. Little kids are just about open to anything. So if we explain things to them they will accept it and will most likely remember it throughout their lives. we shouldn't lie to them. About anything

yes but look at little kids. They are honest and intrigued with the world. and I think they can handle the facts. Kids understand more than we think. Little kids are just about open to anything. So if we explain things to them they will accept it and will most likely remember it throughout their lives. we shouldn't lie to them. About anything

Agreed , we seem to fall very close to the tree in respects to tradition , and how our folks were introduced to the "facts" . I stil remember trying to catch Santa , the Tooth Fairy , and the Easter Bunny in the act . My folks stayed up very late to propogate all these "beings" in in my young life , as I will with my niece and nephew , And it is a fun part of my childhood that I would happily propogate . When do kids stop being kids ? And why would we not want to extend the silly little things that make being a kid so fun and inquiring ?

This probably belongs in the chat section , I am still a big kid who will shelter my niece and nephew from harsh reality until it is time....

id hate to be your kids hombre. basically your just stiefling their imagination. einstein said that imagination is more powerful than knowledge.

It is about imagination, and the fantastic, something that seems unreal, but it made to seem real for a period. Kids would probably get just as excited if they knew for the get go that they'd be getting presents every December 25th, albeit from their parents, and the same with Easter, and the whole Tooth Fairy bit. It seems, though, that this whole societal tradition of continuing on with the illusions of santa, easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc., leads one deeper into the whole 'consumption' and 'greed' bit.
It doesn't seem like my thoughts are making sense on scree, atm, but they do in my head.

KrazyIvan , who you responding to ?

It doesn't seem like my thoughts are making sense on scree, atm, but they do in my head.

Your thoughts make sense , you are a mom , right? What do yo do , and why do you do it in respects to your yung'uns and the greed you speak of .? Serious question,,,

Why is so difficult to just let kids be kids?

If my children have a question - whether it be is there a Santa Claus or why did those men fly planes into a building - I answer it, honestly and as simply as possible. I try to answer them in a way that only provides them with the information that they want or need at that time. If they want they can ask additional questions. But more often than not, they ask to satisfy an immediate need and not in some grand search for knowledge.

The sex question was not the stressful situation I had envisioned. Once the physics behind the act were explained, all I got was "with dad, eeeww and what's for lunch".

I feel too many parents, in familiarizing their children with reality, tend to push their own views, opinions, prejudices on them without realizing it. When instead they should let them find their own path. I say let kids be kids. If they have questions, answer them, but don't push so hard for them to become acquainted with the real world.

Originally posted by oddtodd
Your thughts make sense , you are a mom , right? What do yo do , and why do you do it in respects to your yung'uns and the greed you speak of .? Serious question,,,

Yes, I'm a mom; my daughter is 5, going on 6.
We've done the whole Santa routine, but she knows that he's not real, so now it's just Christmas and presents on that day. With regard to Easter, we buy eachother chocolates (well, I buy myself chocolates ) and we have an easter egg hunt. I've not had to deal with the Tooth Fairy thing yet, lol, long story.
Why do I do it? I do it because it's fun, plain and simple. It's great to see the joy and excitement, anticipation she experienced when she thought Santa was real, and it's still the same. I don't think Santa is important to the kids, but the end results, the gifts

Why do I do it? I do it because it's fun, plain and simple. It's great to see the joy and excitement, anticipation she experienced when she thought Santa was real, and it's still the same. I don't think Santa is important to the kids, but the end results, the gifts

Great ! , the trurh didn't hurt , and kids get to be kids . A couple years of mild deception , and you are closer on the holidays I imagine . Nothing ventured , nothing gained (english teacher said that) . good for you.

I am a mother...and very proud of my prodginey! I only have one son though........but I have tried VERY hard to be as straight forward with him as I can......(I still did the Santa and Bunny thing though)

I remember being at the park watching the children in the sandbox. my son was almost 4 years old at this time. There was another mother who was VERY pregnant, who also had her 4ish daughter in the sandbox with my son........our little ones were playing in the sand and her child said to mine that the stork was bringing them a new baby. My son first asked her WHAT a stork was....and she said a big bird, so my son was amazed! "...WOW! your going to have a BIRD for a baby?....MY mom has babys out of HER vagina but she only has have human babys."
The other mother took her child away by the hand, and gave me a few me dirty looks. ( maybe I shouldnt have LOL@ the kids)

I STILL think that was a funny incident.......anyway there ARE some issues a child need NOT be privy to...like ALL THE REASONS mom and dad got a divorce.....
I just try to give him the answers to his questions as matter of fact as I can.......no matter how queasey the question makes me....I just tell myself knowledge is power, and that I am TRYING my best to empower my child.

my son was PRIVY to where babys came from at such an early age because he had asked....not out of some perverse NEED of mine to let him know....

[edit on 22-6-2004 by theRiverGoddess]

Good for you ! Smart little monkey you have !!! I offer oppinions as if I were a parent , just hope kids get to be kids as long as possible . My mom worked for Planned Parenthood for 20 years and I am sure there were a few explainations needed after playing with little odd. I am still "the magnificent monkey boy" in the eyes of some..... Wish I had kids of my own to influence . Sounds like tons of fun !

Originally posted by theRiverGoddess
.....my son was PRIVY to where babys came from at such an early age because he had asked....not out of some perverse NEED of mine to let him know....

[edit on 22-6-2004 by theRiverGoddess]

This is what I mean. If a child asks about something we shoudn't lie to them and give them some BS answer. It should be correct and we shouldn't lie. If they ask a question jsut give them an answer. Answer that question only at the time that's fine but still answer it to the best of your ability. Just don't lie.

That's precisely my point too, HombreConUnPollo - about not being lied to.

I appreciate what posters here are saying in regard to fantasy & imagination and letting kids enjoy these in childhood. Fairy tales were a big part of my younger days and I absolutely loved them, especially the books with beautiful illustrations of magic realms. But I eventually realised that these WERE fairy tales, & I enjoyed them just the same.

However, when my 6-year-old mind deduced that Santa Claus was a load of baloney, I was far from impressed with my mother's shocked reaction. I felt she was lying to me - and she was.

You can never go wrong with honesty. Don't sell kids short, they're smart. Be honest, they won't forget a lie. When something comes up that I can'texplain to my kids, I just tell them that I will explain it to them when they can understand. And they trust that. They're older now so this doesn't happen much.