I want to get a girlfriend and I want advice.

Give her the sexy eyes, and then tell her you will balance her taxes.

I just want to thank everyone for all the help. Some of the replies have really helped me out. Now I have some questions for you all.

reply to post by Crakeur


Crakeur, I see what you're saying. I feel like I could make a fool out of myself without going drunk though. I am 21 years old, but, I don't drink and I have a good reason to- I have self control and I'm afraid I'd lose it if I'd go out with someone and that wouldn't be good. You don't want that to happen. But I see what you're saying about being loose and natural and all.

reply to post by SLAYER69



I've always wondered this- how is it possible to keep on talking to someone and treat them as a friend? I mean that's what I do but when I treat them like a friend that's what they end up as. I want to be closer to them... I want to go to one step further, if you know what I mean. I know girls are people too and I try to treat them that way, but, I need to learnhow to flirt and stuff like that... I always seem to end up only at the friend phase. I want to get past that.

reply to post by Wolf Eyes


Yeah, but what's the latest time of duration that you can spend for not talking to someone? Like say that you've been talking to someone a lot for a while, and, you want to take a break. How long should you take a break from that person and not so they'd forget about you? I've had problems where I've spent a few days away from someone and they've stopped picking up my phone calls.

reply to post by Gazrok


I'm not interested in dating my female friend becaues well (a) She already has a boyfriend. Aside from that I think we're pretty good friends and I want it to stay that way. I feel like we get along well, and, we hang out a lot. We share a lot of common interests. I don't want for it to be ruined just because we go out on a date and she wouldn't talk to me ever again.

reply to post by Crakeur



How should I "act" around woman? I've found that I am more successful with talking to people when I am my intellectual self. Should I be like that? Or should I go a bit lighter on the intellectual topics and talk about life? I obviously shouldn't be someone who I am not- but what's the right balance?

[edit on 17-8-2010 by Frankidealist35]

Originally posted by BlackOps719
You trying to get the lad hooked up with some angry, domineering she-beast on his first at bat? That could scar him for life.

Don't knock the dominatrix types. All guys should have at least one of those types of relationships.

But yeah, not as your first: you'd just end up describing that relationship to a psychotherapist.


TheAssoc.

[edit on 17-8-2010 by TheAssociate]

Originally posted by schrodingers dog

Originally posted by SLAYER69

P.S. Learn to dance and how to make them laugh.

Me dancing is how I make them laugh.

Lol, I can guarantee when you dance, its not just the one gender that is laughing

Frank, if you have trouble meeting girls, try a dating website. Its a relatively good way to put yourself put there, and requires nothing more than an paragraph of introducing yourself and a photo.

To be honest though (and luckily for me), Ive never had much trouble putting myself out there to strangers of the opposite sex (possibly because of the good old liquid courage), so I havent used a dating website at all, but my brother has had some luck with one.

Good luck with it though, Im sure there is someone out there for you that is perfect. Dont be discouraged if you are turned down and make sure you are confident when talking to girls....they seem to like confident guys (correct me if im wrong ladies)

Conversation is an artform and a game! There is no sure fire way to do it well, you've got to play it as it comes. Start off simple (not too simple mind, if you mention the weather you've lost..) then maybe drop in something a bit more intellectual and see how she reacts. If you hit on something shes into you'll be able to tell by her reaction. Sometimes you can just mention something and away she goes, you can just nod and agree for a while and she'll think your a master conversationalist! You've got to really pay attention though, eye contact (not boobs!!!.. well maybe a quick glance.. low level flirting I guess?) is very important!

One of the first flirting methods people learn is to be a bit mean. Teenagers do it all the time and it can get embarrassing, but if you can find a balance between understated gentlemanlyness and gentle mockery then it can still work!

If you've got a special one lined up but your struggling to close the deal then there is a risky last resort that should do the trick. It's quite manipulative though so use wisely! Simply make her jelous, practice your flirting on other girls, or if things get really desperate get a girlfreind your not that fussed about. I'd been chasing my current GF for a year with no luck, she goes on holiday and comes back to find me with another girlfriend and my god, you could taste the jelousy! Needless to say 1 month later and it was all as it should have been all along!

March of the Fire Ants accepts no responsibility for any emotional or physical damage that may result from use of this tactic.

Haha look at me thinking I know about girls, last time I tried flirting I ended up banging on about my girlfriend.. Alcohol is dangerous!

Frank you shouldn't act like anything. You should be yourself. This way you will meet someone who likes you for who you are.

I'm not sure I understand your question... I'll say this though, If a woman is interested in you... you will know it.. she will pick up the phone. She will call you back. If you go out on a date and you wait a few days before you call her and then she doesn't pick up the phone or return your call.. well it wasn't because you waited a few days to call her.. it's because SHE'S NOT THAT IN TO YOU.

I like to use what I call the "Brad Pitt Analogy"... if a celebrity "hunk" like Brad Pitt or one of those dudes from Twilight asked a woman out on a date, the women WILL be there.. she would drop whatever plans she had to go out... she wouldn't make excuses.. she wouldn't call Brad last minute and cancel plans.. if Brad waited a couple of days to call that chick back.. you can bet you ass that girl will sit and stare at her phone for days until he does call.

So you see, the point is.. if a girl is interested in you, she won't play games.. she won't change plans.. she won't not return your phone calls... if she plays game, then she's not interested ... so you should cut your losses and move on to the next girl.. That's not an easy thing to do, but in the long run it's best..."there's plenty of fish in the sea".. and guess what, you don't have to be Brad Pitt to catch a good woman. you just have to know what you're doing.

Single girls... they are complicated.. most of the time they don't know what they want... sometimes they have 2 or 3 guys after them at the same time... you might take her out on a Friday... then on Sat she has a date set with another guy... or she goes out with her girl friends to a bar she meets a new guy. That's what woman do.. and that's what you need to do. Just because you go on a date with a women, doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't talk to other women. The more girls you talk to, the more ph numbers you get.. the better chance you have to land a nice girl that you can have a serious relationship with.. and until then, just have fun dating. Don't be a jealous guy either, they hate that.

Woman today are not like woman of the 1950s... woman are the "players" these days and don't let any woman tell you otherwise... even the nice chick that gave me props for my first post.. I bet she's a playette too.

Like I told you in my first post.. a girl is not your girl friend until you've gone on at least 15-20 dates .. and then you have to ask her to be your girl friend... until then, she's just some girl you've hung out with a bunch of times.. maybe you even kissed a few times... even if you kiss her, she's not your gf... if you have sex with her on the 2nd date.. still doesn't mean she's your gf... that doesn't mean she even wants to be your gf.. maybe she just wanted some sex.

You mentioned that your 21... you're still young and you have a lot to learn.. I’m 25 and I’m still young and have a lot to learn... no guy is great with woman off that bat... ever guy gets rejected.. every guy has bad 1st dates.. every guy has made the mistake of getting too attached to a woman too soon.. everyone gets their heart broken sometimes... it's natural.. what you need to go is just get yourself out there and don't be afraid to fall of the dating horse and get back on... it might take you a few months to find the right girl.. or even a few years... but if you don't try, then you will definitely be alone

so get out there and start talking to some girls.. get a number, then go on a date... take her out.. have a plan.. dinner and a movie will always be a good first date... but here's some advice, go to the movie first, then dinner.. so you have something to talk about during dinner... on the 2nd date.. try mini golf or bowling.. or some sort of activity you can do together... one woman at a time, one date at a time.

I'll give you the weekend.. come back on monday and tell us how you went out and talked to 5 girls and got 2 phone numbers :-)

reply to post by Wolf Eyes


Wise words Wolf Eyes from a 25yr old!

Except for the mini golf and bowling. Spend a few extra $ and go see Bonamassa or Skynard and reap the rewards.



[edit on 18-8-2010 by whaaa]

Originally posted by NeutronAvenger
Give her the sexy eyes, and then tell her you will balance her taxes.

The more I think about it NA. That is pure genius!!

I'm not interested in dating my female friend becaues well (a) She already has a boyfriend. Aside from that I think we're pretty good friends and I want it to stay that way. I feel like we get along well, and, we hang out a lot. We share a lot of common interests. I don't want for it to be ruined just because we go out on a date and she wouldn't talk to me ever again.

That's an even better reason, excellent. So, see if she can fix you up man! They live for this sort of thing....

"Except for the mini golf and bowling. Spend a few extra $ and go see Bonamassa or Skynard and reap the rewards. "

lol you are right about that !

Chicks also dig guys that play guitar... or any instrument.

I've seen Skynard 5 times, they never disappoint. If you like Bonamaassa / blues music and want to take a girl to a concert, check out Jonny Lang. One of my favorite artists. He puts on a great show .. great guitar player, amazing singer...and frankly, the ladies go crazy for him.

:-)

reply to post by Wolf Eyes

even the nice chick that gave me props for my first post.. I bet she's a playette too.

I'm guessing you would mean me - and you should note: I quoted the part of your first post for a reason, I agreed with that part - don't assume any more than what I wrote.

Wolf Eyes is right about some of this, but still so far out on just as much.You got more there than is really needed.

One you knew everything you needed to know at age 7 the only things that have changed are the methods. What did you do back then you put gum in her hair, chased her with frogs, and maybe threw her doll in the mud. And yet for some reason the next day she was gonna play doctor with you.

You dont really need to know much more than that, its a bit more sophisticated now is all. The phone crap is all a bunch of nonsense if you say you are going ot call tomorrow then call tomorrow. If you do not when you get into a fight it will pop up in the list of stuff your apologizing for when she gets all historical on you. They hunt like a cat and have the memory of an elephant. You dont have to get too mysterious about what your doing, if it is something you dont mind anyone else knowing then feel free to reveal it.

It all comes down to this if you want her to want you, then you make her feel like shes being put into the "friend" zone. Once that starts to cross her mind you wont have to do much.

How did I meet my wife?
She was friends with one of my friends and was supposed to be helping me meet other women.that is how. I wasn't trying to get her I just genuinely liked spending time with her thats it the rest all just happened on its own. If you want lots of hookups with random strangers play all of Wolf eyes little games it works.

If your after something a bit more permanent and stable then it is simple be yourself go out and look to make friends before you know it you will find yourself with 2 and 3 women at a time trying to make you their man. Its all very emotional for them you want them to have a good time and laugh alot when they are with you and they will equate you to those feelings. No need for neglect no need to treat them like garbage. All you have to do at first is set a few boundaries and they will make the effort to get you to move them. You dont have to really do anything.

He does have it right in knowing what you want if you want a fish your not gonna go into the desert to find one are you? And really dude women haven't changed much at all the only thing different between now and 1950 is they aren't forced to hide it. That and you get a few feminazi's that take it too far to prove a point. The game has always been the game for time immemorial.

Play it cool and let her come to you.

First of all you need to stop wanting a girlfriend. Wanting one is just going to put you in a relationship where you are not happy. With the right one it will just happen.

It is definitely a numbers game talk to and meet as many women as possible.You dont have to poke them just look at it as meeting new friends who knows maybe one of your new friends has a female friend that is in the same position as you and BOOM you didn't approach this girl to be your girlfriend you approached a potential friend that has lots of other friends and if your new friend likes you she will say nothing but good things about you to her friends which means you will already have positive points as opposed to a stanger with no points.

If you go to some fancy pantsy restaurant or something which is kind of cliche and boring. Thats exactly what your stating about yourself as most of her other dates shes had guys probably took her to a fancy place because that is what we have been programed to think women want but your just showing her that your like the rest of the guys.

Go somewhere fun and unique and you will stand out as different from the rest.

Dont be so worried about the title Girlfriend. Just have fun and enjoy your time being alive. You only get to do it once.

Moving from the "just talking" stage to the "Ok I'm pretty sure this girl wants to sleep with me" stage is hard, you have to judge the right time to do it, and if you leave it to long your going to get the whole "but I value our friendship so much and wouldn't want to ruin it" line

The trick (in my opinion) is to introduce a level of intimacy without fully laying your cards on the table leaving you looking stupid if she doesn't respond, try going for some "accidental" bodily contact, a brush of feet under the table, a slight stroke of the hand when you are handing something over, you will be able to tell quite quickly if they are interested or not.

I used to have a terrible "line" when I was still dating I would suddenly take an interest in the girls hands and say something like "wow I never noticed how small your hands were" then I would hold my palm up and say "look how tiny they are compared to mine" hopefully the girl would then touch palms with me.
It worked pretty well in a number of ways 1 It gets you over the whole physical contact barrier 2. It is kind of a compliment pointing out that she is petite and delicate, 3. It heightens your perceived masculinity by comparing body size.

This system can fail however as I once spent about 10 minutes playing footsie with a girl at a bar, she got up to go to the toilet and I realized that the "foot" was still there, I had been flirting with a table leg

Note: I am honestly not as much of a scheming sexually predatory misogynist as this post makes me sound

Originally posted by davespanners
Moving from the "just talking" stage to the "Ok I'm pretty sure this girl wants to sleep with me" stage is hard, you have to judge the right time to do it, and if you leave it to long your going to get the whole "but I value our friendship so much and wouldn't want to ruin it" line

The trick (in my opinion) is to introduce a level of intimacy without fully laying your cards on the table leaving you looking stupid if she doesn't respond, try going for some "accidental" bodily contact, a brush of feet under the table, a slight stroke of the hand when you are handing something over, you will be able to tell quite quickly if they are interested or not.

I used to have a terrible "line" when I was still dating I would suddenly take an interest in the girls hands and say something like "wow I never noticed how small your hands were" then I would hold my palm up and say "look how tiny they are compared to mine" hopefully the girl would then touch palms with me.
It worked pretty well in a number of ways 1 It gets you over the whole physical contact barrier 2. It is kind of a compliment pointing out that she is petite and delicate, 3. It heightens your perceived masculinity by comparing body size.

This system can fail however as I once spent about 10 minutes playing footsie with a girl at a bar, she got up to go to the toilet and I realized that the "foot" was still there, I had been flirting with a table leg

Note: I am honestly not as much of a scheming sexually predatory misogynist as this post makes me sound

All you really need to do is watch when they start brushing their hair away from their face kiss em all there is to it.

Originally posted by SLAYER69
reply to post by Frankidealist35

 

Frank, stick with the basics.
It has always worked for me.

Show them respect. Talk to them like a freind not as a mark. Pay attention to what they say not just check them out. Remember Females are people too. Don't be afraid of rejection. For every yes there are plenty of nos beforehand.


In the end if it's going to click just go with the flow and be yourself.

P.S. Learn to dance and how to make them laugh.

Check and check. Slayer hit the nail right on the head.
Especially learn how to make us laugh. I would also reiterate what was said about just being yourself, being cool, calm, confident.
Honestly, Frank, we're really not that intimidating, we're not that bad. Some girls are in the same boat only vice versa; they find it hard to talk to guys.
Don't be worried about what girls are going to think of you. If you're genuine, carry yourself with some amount of confidence and maturity, and you've got a fresh, clean-cut or interesting look about you, you're bound to be a keeper! There's someone for every single person on this planet. People are so diverse but never completely unique.
I wouldn't worry about carrying a conversation either. I think that the moment you have a handle on your confidence and you feel sure of yourself, everything else follows easily.


Take note of what Crakeur said about being a gentleman. Always. And about being yourself, because that's the aim; finding someone who likes you for who you are.