reply to post by drew1749
I have actually spent a lot of time thinking about the psychosis thing. People who know me can only describe me with one word that really "fits":
enigma.
As for the dreams that feel like life...
Each "dream" is like a different life. I have found no correlation between any of them, and they don't seem connected in any way. Sometimes I am a
teenage girl, sometimes a grown woman, sometimes an elderly woman, occasionally (rarely) a male.
The last dream that I can remember I was a teenage (high school) girl with a gay male friend. He was attractive, but throughout the dream definitely
gay. We talked freely about everything and seemed to be bff's. Towards the end of the dream I remember mentioning to him that I wish he weren't gay
because we were perfect (couple-wise) together. Just before my alarm went off and woke me he said: "For you I might not be". I remember feeling
giddy and school-girlish with delight. You know, that feeling you have when you are a teenager when you discover someone you like, likes you THAT way
too.
Each dream "feels" like a different time period as well. Some have taken place in what feels like the ancient past, some in this time period, some
"feel" like the future. None feel connected to the others.
I've also noticed dramatic changes in my sleeping patterns. There are times I "sleep hard" where most of these dreams occur. The rest of the time I
am barely sleeping at all, tossing and turning. When morning comes, I am rested either way, and it seems that lately it's one or the other, no in
between, no "normal" nights anymore.
I am a very strong believer in everything happening for a reason, and only good coming of it. I live my life by that. The hardest thing that I have to
overcome is a feeling of strong disdain towards materialistic people. I find them very offensive, and I have to temper my anger towards them. I have
to remind myself (often) that they just don't get it, nor do they want to.
I'm not sure if it is just another part of the awakening process. I like to believe that it is, and that as we get closer to the tipping point, the
"connection" or "reason" for these types of dreams will reveal itself.